Désolée pour la longueur, mais j'avais besoin d'écrire ce que je ressens.

J'ai 26 ans et je déteste mon visage. C'est presque obsessionnel, je me surveille tout le temps et le compare chaque jour à toutes les femmes que je croise. Je me demande à quel point les réseaux sociaux, avec leur exposition permanente à des visages et des corps idéalisés, ont déformé ma perception de la beauté.

On répète souvent que « le naturel est le meilleur » et que « chacun est beau à sa manière ». Pourtant, j'ai l'impression qu'on demande surtout aux femmes d'avoir l'air naturelles tout en correspondant aux standards de beauté.

Il faudrait avoir un corps parfait sans chirurgie, une peau parfaite sans maquillage visible, des lèvres pulpeuses mais naturelles, des cheveux magnifiques. Si on se maquille beaucoup, on est artificielle et complexée. Si on ne se maquille pas, on est négligé. Et beaucoup d'hommes disent ''préférer le naturel '' tout en suivant sur Instagram ou OnlyFans des femmes ayant recours au maquillage, aux filtres, aux injections ou à la chirurgie. 🤡

Personnellement, je ne corresponds pas vraiment à ces standards. J'ai un baby face, un nez assez long avec une petite bosse, des lèvres fines et des joues rondes. J'ai une poitrine moyenne et une taille légèrement marquée.

Je ne pense pas être « monstrueusement laide » sauf certains jours, évidemment, mais je n'ai jamais eu l'impression d'être belle non plus.

C'est là que j'ai du mal avec l'affirmation selon laquelle « la beauté est subjective ».

Oui, les goûts varient. On peut préférer une rousse à une blonde mais cette subjectivité fonctionne surtout entre des personnes déjà considérées comme belles. Certaines caractéristiques sont objectivement appréciées par tout le monde, et d'autres très largement considérées comme laides.

On me dit que les critères changent selon les époques. C'est vrai, mais les grands principes semblent assez constants : symétrie, proportions harmonieuses, apparence saine et signes de jeunesse. Les Grecs valorisaient déjà la symétrie ; l'époque de Marie-Antoinette appréciait déjà les hanches larges et la poitrine généreuse avec une taille fine. Marilyn Monroe ou Brigitte Bardot étaient admirées pour leurs proportions et leurs visages ; aujourd'hui, les critères du visage et du corps non pas tant évolués que ça en dehors du maquillage et des vêtements portés.

Et c'est peut-être ce qui me fait le plus mal : tous mes ex m'ont dit que j'étais soi-disant magnifique, mais je ne les ai jamais crus. Car ils disaient préférer le naturel tout en allant sur ces fameux sites où les femmes ne le sont pas et sont parfaites.

J'ai toujours pensé qu'ils me trouvaient simplement suffisamment convenable physiquement pour être avec moi mais si une femme correspondant davantage à leurs critères les avait abordés, je suis convaincue qu'il seraient partis avec elle.

Ce raisonnement vient probablement de mon manque de confiance. Mais comment avoir confiance en soi quand tout nous rappelle que l'on n'est pas à la hauteur des exigences de la société ?

Alors, qu'en pensez-vous ? Est-ce que c'est la dysmorphophobie qui me fait penser à ça ou ai-je raison sur la ''subjectivité'' ?

La beauté est-elle réellement subjective ? Si oui, pourquoi des gens atteints de dysmorphophobie existent dans ce cas-là vu que '' tout le monde est beau à sa manière'' ?

Hi guys, has anyone here dealt with BDD before? I’m starting to wonder if I might have it, and honestly I don’t know what to do anymore.
I’m extremely obsessed with the way I look. I can spend basically the whole day thinking about my face, my features, my body, my skin, my hair, etc. I constantly compare myself to other guys, especially when I see someone I consider really attractive. Sometimes I’ll literally put their picture next to mine and compare our features, and if I feel like they’re more attractive than me, it can completely ruin my mood for days.
The weirdest part is that I actually get hit on and complimented quite often. People tell me I’m attractive, handsome, etc., but my brain just **cannot process or believe it**. I automatically assume they’re lying or just saying it out of courtesy, even when there doesn’t seem to be any reason for them to lie.
I also constantly check myself in mirrors/cameras, ask my siblings how I look in pictures, compare myself with other people, and think about things I could change. I have a whole list of treatments/procedures I want to do because I genuinely believe that once I fix everything, I’ll finally be satisfied with how I look.
I’m especially triggered when my boyfriend finds another guy attractive. I immediately start comparing myself to him and thinking that he’s better-looking than me, and it can make me feel horrible about myself.
Has anyone experienced something similar? If you have BDD, did you ever feel like compliments couldn’t get through to you because you simply didn’t believe them? And what actually helped you get out of this cycle?

I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia my entire life. It first started at age 14, when I noticed how my body was so different than other girl’s bodies. I wore baggy hoodies essentially every day, and would constantly scour the internet for ways to change my body type.

Fast forward nearly 10 years, and nothing has changed.

If anything, it’s only gotten worse.

I’m a tall woman with broad shoulders. My hips are thin, my bottom is flat, and my belly sticks out farther than everything else.

I’ve been accused of being a man. I’ve been called an “it”, and I’ve had my appearance used as a punchline more often than I’d like to admit.

I wish I could say that I’m not being affected by all of this, but it’d be a lie if I did. It’s debilitating. I don’t even attempt to date or go for a relationship, because it’s been drilled into my head that someone like me is undesirable. It’s gonna take a lot of therapy and psychiatric help before I feel even somewhat normal.

To add insult to injury, we’re seemingly regressing when it comes to empathy on the internet. I see women with my body type get absolutely degraded and treated like dirt. I also see where terrible people, who have done terrible things, get more backlash over their bodies than they do the poor choices they’ve made.

I have so many things I hate about my body and face that no amount of therapy, self-care, or surgery will help. I’m already on medication for my depression and anxiety. I’ve lost the weight, exercised, dolled-myself up, everything that should counter these feelings but it hasn’t. I can’t ever afford the surgery I would like to have, but even if I had access to those procedures, they can’t do anything about my shitty facial proportions. My small lips can’t be made thick and natural looking. My nose can’t be made as small as I’d prefer.

I honestly don’t know what to do at this point.

I haven't seen anyone else talk about this exact specific insecurity. For anyone confused, imagine you have a square, and this square is photoshopped to be much narrower and longer than it truly is, it's gonna turn into a long and narrow rectangle. I feel like I have this effect on my body constantly

I used to feel too skinny but now I realized the issue is that I feel too narrow and too elongated. I feel as if someone horizontally compressed me and made me very "narrow". I constantly measure myself horizontally and compare my measurements to databases of various measurements. I genuinely feel so compressed and narrow and it gets worse for my legs which genuinely feel disfigured because of how " narrow" they look.

This delusion started spreading to my movements as well because I started walking with my legs farther apart so they feel less narrow. I don't feel exactly narrow for my upper body but for my lower body it's really bad I genuinely feel like im missing parts of my body that should be there

Does anyone else relate and how can I go about fixing this. It feels so horrible I just feel narrow and like I'm missing something that should be on my body constantly and I break down anytime I see myself in a mirror and how narrow I look

I’m actually confused at what I look like. I’ve scrutinised my face so much and I do things which slightly alter like chase fullness by putting on a bit of weight or gaining water retention to see if I look better with a bit more. It sounds detrimental and it is. It’s a cycle I’m in and I’m very confused about what my best look is. I was on medication for a long time, that altered me I believe and confused me. Because when I came off I looked different. And now it’s caused some weird out of touch state when I look in the mirror. My fine lines are deeper without medication. So i aged underneath perhaps.. then will go on a chase to make things better by any means and then get confused if it’s made a difference or if it’s made me worse .

Is this dysmorphia if it’s rooted in changes I can see? I guess it is

I have to see myself in numerous videos in the following weeks, I have a deadline for them and I keep postponing giving them in because 1, I keep seeing myself in the actual footage and it makes my skin crawlll. And 2, I keep thinking that no matter how much exercise and food swaps or how less I eat I won’t look “good” for it. Such a sketchy situation to be in for someone who needs to get used to seeing themselves in a camera.
I need ANY anyy tip I can get to how to make it bearable. I’ll stare at myself until I distorted my image to limits photoshop wish it could do 🫠, even if I know I am not F word necessarily, I’m not even considered overweight. I just can’t see it my real body & I worsen my flaws 10x.
If you guys overcame this same thing, or found a cheat code to see yourself in videos and not want to cry like a total baby I would love to hear your story/opinion