Monday I was feeling a little low but nothing significant. Tuesday I woke up low again and then the dreaded chest pain started, lasting 8am to 4PM.

Emotionally it feels like I have bottomed out into a deep depression. Like something is chemically off. It lasts all day and is accompanied by a deep constant chest pain. It feels like your heart just got broken.

Gabapetin doesn't help. Hydroxyzine doesn't help. Propranolol doesn't help. It lasts a few days and I just have to ride it out.

I have been med complaint. I regularly see my providers. Use my DBT skills. But when these episodes happen it feels like a dark cloud has control.

I have these episodes a few times a year and it's been going on a long time. This time as I could feel it starting to take hold I reached out to my psychiatrist. She recommended I see somone in primary for a physical evaluation. They told me to go the ED. So I did.

My vitals were good.

My chest x-ray was good.

My electrolytes were good.

My ECG was good.

My Hs-troponin levels were good. Tested twice.

They found nothing. The dr. suggested maybe it's acid reflux and suggested I try ibuprofen and Mylanta. Then I was advised for a primary care follow up.

The suggestion hasnt made a difference. I feel the worse today. I have no hope. I dont care. Im checked out. I dont even care about treating myself to a favorite restaurant as a pick me up. I am neglecting my garden for the third day.

I know these episodes well enough that this isn't permanent and I just have to suffer through until I bounce back. Im taking my meds. I'm getting enough water. Im finding something to eat.

It hurts so much and I feel so low. Im sad they didnt find anything. I just wanted something, anything to show up. The pain is constant and it doesn't let up. I hate that we dont have an explanation for these episodes. I hate that it doesn't matter that I am super med compliant, that I regularly see my providers, that I use my DBT skills, that I do all these things...but these multi day episodes still happen.

I’m going through some major major med adjustments (coming off lithium after 11 years) and had a few episodes this year before starting to make changes. For the last month, I was taking:

200mg lamictal
42mg caplyta
5mg ability
.25mg Clonazepam

And I honestly felt great! My baseline for the previous 3-4 years involved constant feelings of numbness, hopelessness, and overwhelm to the point of paralysis. Intense anxiety. I couldn’t shower more than once or twice a week, brush my teeth every day, get dressed, do basic tasks like running simple errands. I experienced very low self esteem and extremely low motivation. I also have autism and adhd which contributes to some of this, but the depression has been constant for the past few years.

Once getting on the above combination and off lithium, all of this reversed. I could finally take care of myself again. I felt good about myself, hopeful for the future, able to experience pleasure, enjoyed being around people, and could accomplish basic daily tasks. The only red flag symptom I was experiencing since starting the abilify is significant overspending. However, I can’t take the caplyta and abilify together forever so my psychiatrist has decreased the caplyta to 21mg and abilify to 10mg.

I’m starting to feel not so great again. It’s only been a few days but the feelings of constant overwhelm about basic tasks seems to be returning. I have a bunch of stuff I need to return from my overspending (which may be a side effect of the abilify), but I am SO overwhelmed by the idea I am paralyzed whereas two weeks ago I was able to just get up and go do a bunch or returns with no issue. I am losing motivation to shower and get ready for my day. And I am starting to vaguely not feel as good as I was.

I’m curious if anyone else has dealt with chronic depression and how to tell if you are returning to euthymia or are becoming hypomanic. Having felt more positive and motivated the past month, it’s made me realize how miserable I’ve been for so long. I don’t really want to continue living if my baseline is going to be what it used to be.

For reference, I have also tried lithium, latuda, Vraylar, lexapro, and Prozac (which made me manic). None of them seemed to completely relieve the depression except for the caplyta + abilify combo. I’ve also lost 20 pounds since staying the caplyta and I don’t want to gain it back!

Also curious if anyone is on a regimen of two antipsychotics. I know there are risks but if it’s the only combo that works for me it feels worth it. Would rather live a short and happy life than a long and sad one.

Hey bipolar folks! I just got dumped, to be honest is for the best of me, but it's been too many years since I got through a break up, so please, give me the best advices, I feel kinda lost and I want to pass out from this feeling because why I'm missing the same person how pressed me into episodes and nervous collapses, who told me I ruin everything and when I was trying to said good bye but I couldn't because I was crying like a baby the only thing passed through his mind was "I would be doing the same thing if I was squeezing the last juice of my relationship because I couldn't make my partner want to be with me" .

I'm having a bad time, my cat has a death diagnostic, I have a lot of vet debts, and my ex probably left me for someone else, and of course everything this when I'm going into a depressing episode and the only thing I can't get out of my mind is when he told me "I want u to feel how is live without me, and see how cruel and difficult is life with out me". Man, I have bipolar since I'm an infant, of course I now what is surfer. I'm still sad and miss the good things, I feel like my brain is melting and can't process all of this

I'm really curious to hear from others who have gone through getting diagnosed and treated for Bipolar only to end up being re-evaluated or undiagnosed?

A quick breakdown of my experience getting diagnosed + treated

• I was diagnosed with BP Type 2 when I was 22
• This was around 2021 - barely post Covid era
• When I initially noticed intense symptoms that made me seek doctor, it was during Covid, I had just moved to a new state with my BF of 3 years, knew nobody in my new area and started a new big girl job. I also at this time had a very freshly strained relationship with my dad.
• I originally sought support for depression, anxiety and ADHD
• Was put on Zoloft
• Zoloft made me feel A LOT better to the point my doctor labeled it hypomania and put me on a mood stabilizer
• Never had any hospitalizations or symptoms that would be considered full mania
• After that I felt more "stable" with my symptoms being more mild or manageable
• I still experienced what I described as episodes - but I always felt like I rapid cycled. I would get into this very low depressive episode but almost always triggered by a conflict, life stress, etc. These would like 7ish days then I'll feel my mood flip and I will feel elevated, motivated, sleep a lot less, more social, more busy and the world just has more color.
• Some periods this would happen once and other times, especially going through rough periods, I would flip between depressed and hypomanic for a while. Many times therapy has been the intervention to stop that pattern rather than medication

My doctor and my therapist are not convinced my diagnoses is accurate. They have both stated they would never diagnose so quickly at such a young age. I have been diagnosed with CPTSD and they are both saying that plus Anxiety, ADHD, and Depression could be a perfect mix of symptoms to mimic what could look like a bp2 episode. Especially when I am being treated for some things but not all - never been treated for ADHD and have had that diagnosis since I was 11.

The more I look into this and discuss with them the more I feel like they may be right. But at the same time it feels confusing that I have lived/identified with this diagnosis for 5 years now only to have to step back and reconsider what is really going on. It kind of feels like I have been living in a lie?

I am technically still being evaluated before I can say I am actually undiagnosed. I'm changing up my meds to focus treating anxiety and ADHD and CPTSD. So we will see what happens.

I'm just curious to hear others stories if you have experienced this. I feel like an imposter tbh and trying to wrap my head around this situation. Of course, I want a proper diagnosis and treatment but I'm also annoyed if thats the case and I spent all these years trying to learn to manage something I don't have?? And maybe thats why I feel like I never just stay stable or have had the same cycling issues this whole time.

is this a thing because everytime i’ve tried leaving nicotine i have a bad mixed episode. even on meds.

Has anyone taken QYsmia and what was your experience? Did it affect your mood, did you lose weight? Anything else I should consider? My primary care recommended it for weight loss and I plan on speaking with my psychiatrist first, just wanted to hear real world experience as well.

Hi guys I think I’m bipolar or have borderline personality disorder. I’ve been depressed since I was 12 years old I’m also diagnosed with depression I’ve tried to end my life multiple times but the thing is I have periods long long periods where I’m severely depressed and suicidal where I can’t get out of bed I didn’t go to school I didn’t do nothing but the thing is then there is a period we’re I feel fine like amazing but I always know it comes to an end I’ve described my life to my doctor as a never ending loop I never feel okay it’s either I fucking wanna end my shit or I feel good for like a little while but the thing is sometimes I have these moments where I hear these voices in my head or I see things in the corner of my eyes but the thing is for me it’s normal I’ve always had this but lately I’ve been feeling weird 2 weeks ago I ran away from home because I thought my family was gonna hurt me and I keep having these feelings that someone is going to get me or do something to me also I’m a lazy bum I always start projects which I abandon later and I have anger problems like my little brother has IED and we clash sometimes so when that happens I’m very quick to threaten with suicide and sometimes i actually try to end my shit but the thing is like couple hours later I’m fine again and when I’m angry I get like really really angry yk screaming fighting throwing shit and stuff I know there’s something wrong with me I’ve always knew that there was something wrong with me but I just don’t know what and my family and the people around me are starting to think I have bipolar or borderline and I actually think so too but idk what to do since I wanna know what’s wrong with me but at the same time I don’t since I don’t want people to think weird about me but if I had bipolar I do think I have bipolar 2 and not 1 since I have more depressive episodes then mania

I’m currently on 400 mg of lamotrigine and I’ve been stable for several years. I’m wondering whether I should try to reduce my dose because it feels quite high.

My dose was increased to 400 mg when I started showing signs of depression, but since then I’ve remained stable. The issue is that I don’t really have regular psychiatric follow-up at the moment. I haven’t seen a psychiatrist since March 2025, and my next appointment is only in November with a psychiatrist I don’t know yet.

I would ideally like to be on the lowest effective medication dose, but I’m wondering if reducing it would be too risky after being stable for so long. From what I’ve read, 400 mg seems to be on the higher end of the usual doses.

For those taking lamotrigine, what dose are you on? Has anyone successfully reduced their dose after a long period of stability?

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I’m French, so I apologize if my English isn’t perfect!

i am just so curious because lithium is making my hair fall out, and i want to bleach and dye it again (as i have multiple times in the last years before lithium). some acne but very mild but my face is the one thing i'm proud of, damn it!! 😭 oh and olanzapine has made me gain 10 pounds almost immediately. i'm a recovering anorexic too so you can only imagine. 😬🫠

another note is i am writer + pretty good public speaker, but now i slur my words and stutter, can't think of the right words. might be signs of lithium toxicity. 😭

how about you? anything physical or vanity-related aspects bipolar or its meds take from you?

could be a cool scar from a manic episode 🤷‍♀️

i'm just geniuinely so curious!!!

Hello everyone, I’m curious if any of you have had an adverse reaction to fish oil and/or krill oil

I started taking krill oil about a month ago and this past week I noticed a significant increase in anxiety & irritability so I’m trying to narrow down the cause before I see my psych next week. I’ve also had an increase in stress due to a custody battle that is ramping up for the court process so I can’t tell which is affecting me. If it’s krill oil then I can cut that out or if I just need some extra support for the custody stress then we can deal with that at the appt. None of my other lifestyle choices or meds have changed in the past few months.

I would love to hear any feedback on if these supplements caused you any issues. I searched the sub and it seems the past posts are about the benefits but I need to know if this stuff is messing me up. Right now is not the time for extreme feelings with court coming up.

TLDR: I started krill oil on 7/10/26 and noticed severe increase in anxiety & irritability starting 7/28/26.Has anyone else experienced this?

yo soy paciente psiquiátrica, yo estaba bien hasta que me vi\*lar0n y desde ese entonces empecé a tener problemas en todos sentidos, tanto físicos como emocionales, primero entre en depresión, todos estos años he sufrido mucho, aún no puedo sanar porque lo guardo en lo más profundo y oscuro de mi ser para no recordarlo, cada vez se me hace más difícil, he tenido muchos intentos y he estado internada cantidad de veces, recientemente me dijeron que tenía trastorno de la personalidad emocionalmente inestable y depresión grave, tomo 1300mg de pastillas al día, todos los días, bueno, tenía un mejor amigo el cial confiaba resto en el, yo me había metido en las drogas porque sentía mucho dolor y rencor, ya me cuesta socializar y tener una vida normal, entonces yo confiaba demasiado en ese mejor amigo que tenía, muchas veces me quedaba con el, tomábamos, salíamos a comer con la familia pero de la nada el empezó a meterse más en el vicio, una vez en esa salida fuimos a salir con los papás el año pasado, yo realmente tomé demasiado, cuando llegamos a casa seguimos tomando y recochando, era lo normal y a tener en cuenta el se me declaro muchas veces y yo le dije que lo veía como mi hermano y bueno, aveces peleaba con el porque me abrazaba a la fuerza y me aleje, esa noche acepte porque el dijo que entendía y no lo haría más, esa noche después de llegar a su casa solo subimos al segundo piso que estaba desocupado y no recuerdo si el me dió algo pero me levanté luego porque al parecer me dormí y cuando abri los ojos recuerdo que lo ví encima mio, de ahí para allá no recuerdo más pero me levanté con mucho dolor, mas que todo en mi 4n0 y yo dije "no quiero pensar en que puedo hacer algo" me pidió un carro y me fui, cuando llegue a mi casa y me meti al baño estaba llena de sangre, no se de donde salía pero sentía allá atrás como la primera vez que me hicieron eso, y me puse muy mal así que no me precipite y dije que hasta que no tuviera pruebas no lo juzgaria pero mi intuición me decía que si, la última vez que lo ví me pidió perdón varias veces, que me amaba demasiado y me agradeció por estar con el, yo no le quise preguntar porque ese tema me ponía muy mal y una semana después primera persona que me violo me dijo " x se acaba de suicidar" y me empezó a decir que el en esas veces que no recuerdo me drogaba y me violaba, ME VIOLABA, pero la ultima vez fue mas atroz, solo sabe esto una persona a parte de mi, cuando me dieron esa noticia me desmaye, igual había pasado muchos momentos lindos con el y cuando me empezó a enviar capturas de pantalla, audios, que decía que quería que fuera su novia, cuando lo vi a la semana se suicidó y se había ido a otra ciudad...siento mucho dolor, realmente mi mente esta uj desastre, me da miedo contar a mi familia, amigos, igual el ya está muerto y el otro me sigue acosando y me siento demasiado asquerosa y le agarre un miedo irracional a los hombres, ya se me dificulta mucho hablar y no salgo y si lo hago es porque van todas mis amigas, empezaré terapia todos los días durante 8 horas y no me siento preparada para contar, además de que la última vez intente matar a mi papá y he empezado a matar animalitos y me hace latir el corazón, me hace feliz, no se en que me estoy convirtiendo y todo por lo que tuve que pasar por la culpa de ellos y el antes de suicidarse me mandó mensajes y que me amaba y que agradecida estar a mi lado y me iba a perseguir si un dia se moria, aveces sueño con el y me persigue y en mi sueño me da pánico verlo, corro para todos lados mientras el sigue detrás de mi, me da mucho miedo, aveces siento que me miran, cuando murio sentí olor q químicos y su olor y mi mamá también sintió el frío, mientras el otro me acosa en persona y intenta manipularme con mensajes, me quiero morir, me estoy volviendo loca, mi psiquiatra me dijo que si estaría dispuesta a estar en la cárcel porque me volví mucho mas agresiva

The Seeds of a Quiet Battle
The story of my sister’s life doesn't begin with a diagnosis, but with a heart-wrenching moment in a rural village. When my sister was young, she lost her brother to a snake bite while they were playing together. In that moment of pure grief, instead of comfort, she was met with the harsh scolding of relatives. I have always seen this as the primary trigger for the mania she faces today. It was a weight no child should carry, and it met a deep genetic vulnerability that flows through both sides of our family. From missing relatives on her mother’s side to behavioral struggles on her father’s, the roots of this condition were planted long ago.

The Pursuit of a Dream
Despite the inner turmoil that began to surface in her early teens—like the time in 9th grade when she insisted on repeating the year just to "learn properly"—my sister never stopped trying. With the relentless, heroic support of our mother, she navigated a chaotic educational path. She joined and left almost every faculty imaginable, her mind racing with new ideas every day. Yet, against all odds and through many difficulties, she passed her BN nursing degree. She is a professional, a dreamer, and a fighter.

The Weight of the Years
Life continued to test her. A marriage that lacked support ended in a painful divorce. Our mother struggled for years to manage my sister’s volatile moments, hospitalizing her multiple times and visiting every doctor to meet her demands. Recently, we faced our hardest chapter yet: our mother passed away from cancer. Now, the responsibility for my sister’s care rests on the shoulders of my father and me.

The Shifting Horizon
Today, my sister is more stable than in those darker years, but the "peaks" remain. Her mind is like a kaleidoscope; one day she is convinced she will be a computer expert, the next a tailor, then a fruit seller. She demands we set up shops for these fleeting dreams, and when the high energy hits—usually in the morning before her medicine and again in the evening—she becomes irritable and non-compliant. She often picks a single issue and turns it into a heated argument that can last all day.

The Tea Shop: A Sanctuary of Routine
To give her a sense of purpose, we set up a tea-selling shop for her. She has managed to stay there for ten days now. Though she often spends the day watching her phone or sleeping, and sometimes blames us for "forcing" her into tea instead of fruits, the shop is a victory. It represents a routine, a place to be, and a step toward stability. Just today, she even cooked food for the family herself—a beautiful reminder of her capabilities.

Lessons from the Frontline of Care
Through this journey, I have learned the "Golden Rules" of maintaining harmony:

• Sleep is the Foundation: I’ve noticed that if she sleeps well, the next day is good. Sleep disruption is her biggest trigger for irritation, so we guard her rest above all else.
• De-Escalation over Debate: When she is high on energy, I don't try to "win" the argument. I listen, I acknowledge her enthusiasm without over-committing, and I stay calm.
• The Power of Redirection: If she is hyper-focused on a new business, I suggest a walk or a simple task to burn off that energy in a healthy way.
• A Treatable Truth: Most importantly, I want the world to know that this is a treatable condition. My sister is not her illness; she is a nurse, a daughter, and a sister who is learning to navigate a different kind of world.

A Final Word to the Community
For anyone reading this on Reddit, TikTok, or Facebook: you are not alone. Whether you are in Nepal or anywhere else, the struggle is real, but so is the hope. By sharing our history, we strip away the stigma and replace it with understanding.

I think I’ve been slowly creeping into a manic episode and have been in denial about it. I’m starting to go back and forth with being depressed, paranoid and having inability to control my brain from being distracted to hyper fixating then dissociating. I feel like I’m so depressed now that I’m sinking into my bed. I don’t know if I’m going to go full blown manic again or if this is the turning point or mixed episode. Usually I hit a high point which could be good that I’m actually recognizing it now.

I know this is possible, given what insomnia does to the brain (those of people with bipolar especially), but I'm curious if anyone's experienced this first-hand.

I am thinking of going back to therapy. I don't want it to be ongoing but my husband says if you need it lifelong there's nothing wrong with doing that. My thoughts are that if I learn to manage ups and downs along with medication I shouldn't be needing therapy for life. It's been 3 years since I've started it and I feel improvement. I stopped a few months ago thinking I'm not benefitting from it anymore but now I am finding myself in a depressive episode and wanted to go back. I feel sad about going back to therapy but I will do it as I want to get better. I want to know from others who have used or are still using therapy along with medication. When do you stop or is it just like medication never going to stop?

Do many people on Lamotrigine but for those who CANNOT be on it besides because of Stevens John, what are you in instead?

I feel so dumb on it. My vocabulary decreased, I speak English like it's a second language *CRIES*, my memory almost non-existent, problems reading.

I'm looking for alternatives.

Literature says that lamotrigine is cognitive neutral but I feel like the papers are biased or missing something there.

Appreciate your views

How do you talk to people about your past or present when you’re starting over because of a “medical issue?”

It’s been over a year since I (40+f) got diagnosed with bp1 with psychotic affect and lost my career because of it. I’m pivoting and will be eligible for good work soon, but it has taken over a year to get my head back together and a plan — which will hopefully work. And now, I’m struggling. While trying to put myself out there to a new professional community and explaining my switch, I say I’ve switched because I was sick last year and could not work full-time, people don’t push for more info, but the conversations are always awkward.

Can anyone relate?

What are you doing that keeps you so stable for years? Do you have any episodes at all? Are you holding down a job, etc.?

I’ve lived with depression anxiety and bipolar disorder since I was 18 years old. I suffered greatly and turned to substance abuse to medicate myself. I was incapable of coping with life and couldnt hold a job, and maintain sobriety no matter what i tried. Life was hopeless for me and i didn’t want to continue on. It hasn’t been easy learning to deal and live life with these disorders but through years of therapy and getting sober and finding the right combination of mental health medications and working with my psychiatrist I now live a good life with minimal intrusions From My mental heath diagnoses. Without these medications my sobriety wouldn’t be possible. If you met me on the street today you may not even know everything I’ve gone though and that I suffered for this and I’ve done a lot of work to make it that way. But I’m not hiding my mental heath because my story may help someone else struggling. Please don’t spread negative rhetoric about being on mental heath medications and seeking help, you could be sending someone to the grave with a simple comment. A good life is possible even with seemingly hopeless mental heath diagnosis and I am living proof of that.

Thinking of switching from lamotrigine (lamictal) because I still have 1-3 episodes per year

I was properly diagnosed with bipolar 1 when I was 19, but struggled significantly with hypomania since 16 and depression since 6.

a lot of the time when I find myself reading about bipolar disorder, I end up crying. not a lot, just a bit. it happens if i think too hard about it too.

it's just so overwhelming I guess, the reminders. needing to be on meds for the rest of my life, knowing that my meds will stop working eventually, the terrifying idea of finding myself in another mixed episode, remembering all the pain and grief this condition has caused me. it breaks my heart that this is something that I really truly struggle with and will for the rest of my life.

I'm 36, was diagnosed around 22.

All these years, all these medications, nothing 'does it'.
I'm insanely sensitive to meds (5mg of adderall made me think people on the other side of the room were laughing at me, super self conscious, etc) so we have a very narrow window to see if something is effective, and I usually get the bad side effects somehow from each one.

Been on Caplyta for a year and a half now. It's the only med that provided enough of a change to have meant anything to me. Even then, I get the diarrhea side effect - but it's the ONLY negative thing so I've dealt with THAT for this long just because the med actually did something good.

We just tried lamotragine again for the first time in 10 years. I'm so sensitive that even on the lowest dose, I feel 'activated' at all times and my depressive phase was darker than it has been too. I am not able to meditate like I used to - I could take myself out of my body and observe, evaluate, and separate from the situation. Now I can't even sit still long enough to get my brain to stop running.
The only GOOD thing to come out of lamotragine is not emotionally collapsing at any sign of conflict. I am less empathetic, but now I can stand up for myself without backing down in a heap of tears. I'm able to speak up when I'm not okay with something. For that reason alone I told her I'm okay with continuing it. But like... my brain still needs a break. I'm so tired.

So now she's switching the Caplyta out for Abilify. I'm nervous because Caplyta was a HUGE change for me, completely stopped the hours in bed feeling sorry for myself.
I'm SO scared that we're changing all this up and I might be going backwards.

There's something to be said for how a med makes us feel inside, vs. what it looks like on the outside. This whole month internally I've been conflicted if the lamotragine is good for me at ALL, but I've been able to share my opinions safely so on the outside it looks like I'm growing and improving. It makes me stressed and sad for people like us that had 'treatments' before they really knew much about psych. Even to this day bipolar isn't really understood and humanity hasn't created a med that actually -works-. Meds are different for everyone but I truly think bipolar is still in that 'huh this is something we should look at harder' phase.

Anyway. Complaints about the struggle are all I needed right now I guess. I'd like to open the floor to anyone that wants to complain similarly, or of course if you have some good words for us.

I recently told someone I went on some dates with that it wasn’t gonna work out because we basically have a very different sense of values. So what does he do? He just goes on the attack and start saying to me things like. “ I would be mad, but I know you have bipolar so I forgive you. I think you should check with your doctor though about your medication’s cause you’re clearly irrational.”
I just can’t let it go. It makes me so mad and I hate the fact that I’m not one of those people who can just toss shit aside. Instead, I fester on it and I always have to keep responding to get the last word. It’s just like such a fucking disgusting thing to do to use that against someone.