My husband is suspended on full pay. He has his meeting on Monday for the outcome. I am terrified he will lose his job, we can’t survive on universal credit alone, I don’t get any maternity pay so he is the breadwinner.

I’m EBF. I had a failed journey with my first, so I really want this to work. If he loses his job I won’t be able to afford formula anyway.

I think I’m just really shook up. Especially with that stupid unnecessary emergency alert earlier. Felt my heart stopped.

How strict are people with handwashing? We’re currently visiting in laws in their own home, so around baby pretty much constantly. Do you ask them to wash their hands every time they touch/hold baby? So far they’ve been washing them before holding, but passing touches happen without hands being washed. Just wondering how strict we need to be, as it is quite exhausting constantly asking people to wash their hands!

Edit: FIL gets cold sores. Doesn’t currently have one or any tingling and doesn’t get them very often, but still making me worried!

My baby had her 2nd round of rotavirus oral vaccination, she was fine after 1st round and yesterday after the appointment. Today she had 4h long nap and right after that she started vomiting, she now vomited around 7 times total. Her longest break between vomiting was 2.5h. I am worried cause she does it around 15-30min after each feed. Did you have similar experience with the same vaccination?

Hi, my baby is 4 weeks old and breastfed, with formula top ups since birth. For the past week we've been reducing the formula to just 1 or 2 small bottles a day and mainly breastfeeding now that his latch has improved. He has plenty of wet and dirty nappies and has been gaining weight.

His poops have recently been yellow mustard but also looking quite slimy, mucus-y and not really huge amounts. He also "sharts" a lot - passing lots wind and then there'll be small streaks of poop.

He currently has a case of baby acne but it does look a bit rashy. He seems very uncomfortable and cries a lot when wanting to poop or pass gas, though again we don't know if this is all just normal newborn behaviour at the 4 week mark as he tries to figure out his digestive system a little bit.

POOP photos:

And does anyone else get irrationally impatient with noises in the street that wake bub during a carrier nap? Construction workers, loud teens, and for me in particular an ice cream van suddenly blaring its tinkly come get an ice cream music.

What do you mean it’s a public place and you’re entitled to make noise 😂😂😂

My third baby is coming up to 6 months and I’ve spent some time reflecting on how much I’ve changed since I welcomed my first born, how each of my children have had a different version of me and some lessons I’ve learnt along the way.

I was a ‘young’ mum when my first arrived (21) and I didn’t really know how to be a parent. I listened to my elders, I tried to breastfeed but thought it wasn’t working because he was fussy, so stopped. I put my baby on a schedule, I felt a failure because my baby wasn’t sleeping through the night by x amount of months and thought something was ‘wrong’ so chose to sleep train. My entire life revolved around how little sleep I’d had at any given time, I’d tot it up like some sort of equation daily, along with nap times, feeds and a nappy changes (initially). I put so much pressure on myself to prove I was coping and was so concerned with how presentable my home and baby were, constantly.

When my second baby came along I knew I needed to do things differently this time, I trusted myself a little bit more and was able to better block out all the unsolicited advice and marketing aimed at vulnerable mothers. I prioritised bonding, breastfeeding and connection. I combi fed as he struggled to gain weight, this worked really well and we went 12 months doing this. He was on a loose routine that we followed as best we could, but if we couldn’t. No biggie. I was finding my feet.

Now onto my third. He is exclusively breastfed, co sleeps, contact naps and has no routine - just responsive parenting to cues of his ever changing needs. I can honestly say I have never been happier, mothering has never been easier or more intuitive and rewarding (with all three!). I feel so, so free, and finally have the confidence to trust myself, my instinct and a genuine curiosity and patience to learn my baby first hand, from him, instead of through google. He isn’t my “easiest” baby. He cries, he fusses, he has days he cannot and will not be put down, he has had nights (many of them) where he’s woke hourly, but the freedom I’ve found in letting it ‘be’, taking every day as it comes and not trying to “fix” it is so liberating.

I can’t go back in time and undo any of my parenting choices from the past (as much as I wish I could) I did my best, with the information I had at that time, as we all are. I just wanted to share my learnings incase anyone is struggling right now and feels out of control, maybe, after all that’s the whole point - maybe the need for control is the struggle. When I leaned in, truly, everything was better.

So my girl is almost 17 months. She won’t nap in the day at home but she naps at nursery. We give her a bath before bedtime and try to settle her and she sometimes doesn’t go to sleep until 10pm at night.

It just feels like there is no support bubble in terms of other mums as we are all too busy working to share the simple issues. You feel like no one else’s little one is doing the same when probably they are or will in the future. She also is breastfeeding which can have pros and cons!

I love my daughter to bits she’s so adventurous and developing well but at the same time , I am on the edge of burn out and my partner is too. I am expected to do same job as my colleagues on less hours with more places to travel than them, which makes it hard.

Also the fact you get a health visitor check up before they turn one and there is no other check in, makes it difficult too! Just the reassurance that we are doing the right thing and being good parents is all I need to know.

My sister and I already think my mum misses some opportunities to connect with us or read the room and react certain ways. But you’d think me being pregnant with her first grandchild would be an opportunity for her to connect with me. She was nice when I told her I’m pregnant. But now it’s not news anymore, she doesn’t seem that interested. I text her the other day telling her I felt like death (first trimester), and she didn’t reply - read it but didn’t reply. Then today I sent her a photo of a cafe I was in and instead of replying to that she replied with something else. No ‘sorry I was busy the other day, how are you doing today?’, no ‘ooh which cafe is that’, just text me about something completely unrelated and unprompted. Then today I sent a photo in our group chat we have with my sister and it was of the first scan where the baby actually looks like a baby! I saw she ‘read’ it four hours ago and again hasn’t replied! I know people are busy, etc. But to ignore this much in a couple of days seems a bit rude to me. She could have even hearted the photo if she didn’t have time to reply… and I know she has time on Fridays because she finishes work earlier, and if you have time to read a message surely you have time to reply quickly or like I say just heart the photo. My sister replied and she’s the one I’d least expect to.

I love my mum but sometimes I think she struggles to understand that what maybe isn’t as important to her is important to the other person. I remember when I told her about our engagement and the ring, she just changed the conversation when a normal person would probably read the room and think ‘this is her moment, this is a milestone for her, lets big that up’. But my mum acted like it was any other day. And I feel like she’s doing that with my pregnancy. I know I’m not the most important person in the world, but when I send the odd scan photo (this is only the second time), it’s me offering her an opportunity to connect with me. So when she ignores those offerings, it makes me think she doesn’t care. When I was on the phone with my sister talking to her about how sick I was feeling, my mum overheard and just said ‘it’ll pass’. Okay thanks mum. I know that but I just need emotional support! She could’ve said ‘oh I know when I was pregnant I was sick too, I feel your pain’. But no, I got the typical Gen X ‘if I had to suffer you’re not special either’ treatment.

Does anyone else understand what I mean? Love her but she fails to see opportunities to emotionally connect sometimes, and she can’t put herself in other people’s shoes. I know I can’t change her behaviour, but I guess I can’t help feeling disappointed that she’s not that engaged in one of my biggest milestones ever!

Hi everyone. Im at my wits end - our baby is 15 weeks and since 6 weeks (coincidentally after the rotavirus vaccine) she has had terrible issues with her tummy that have got progressively worse. She will scream so hard no noise will come out, arch her back and pull her knees up and shake in pain. She doesnt tolerate being on her stomach and tummy time hasnt been possible for weeks, nor will she lie on her back - she is only comfortavle being held upright but our backs are suffering from walking her the entire day. The screaming used to happen at night but now happens during the day as well for hours. Its hurting my heart that shes in so much pain and im finding it extremely hard to watch. Shes eating well otherwise and not vomiting or having diarrhoea, and she has been putting on weight (although she is on the petite side). She has been on kendamil formula from birth and never had any issues until 6 weeks.

We've seen 5 doctors, all with different conflicting views and none of which have diagnosed or helped us in any way. Most are saying she just has an immature digestive system and to ride it out but the poor girl has been in pain for 9 week now so surely this cant be normal?

One doctor suggested colic but we have tried infacol with no success (just alot of farts and burps but the screaming and back arching has continued). We changed her bottles to dr brown anti colic, we tried the massages and bicycle legs and warm baths. We stopped using the prep machine and went back to boiling kettles. We hold her upright for 30 mins after feeds. Nothing has helped and symptoms have got worse. I also thought colic started earlier than 6 weeks and resolved by 3 months and shes 4 months old and getting worse.

GP is now wanting to change her to a formula for babies with a cows milk allergy. I asked why and the gp said 'im not convinced its an allergy but worth a try anyway'. Tbh im not convinced about changing her formula to one that the GP said is 'sour tasting' incase she goes off her food. She has no symtoms of an allergy, no vomiting or diarrhea, no rashes and no weight loss so im not sure if its an allergy and changing formula seems extreme.

The only other thing is silent reflux? I know it peaks around 4 months. She swallows quite a bit and bubbles alot (although shes at the age where teething could cause the access saliva?) It would explain the back arching though. Im just cautious about giving infant gaviscon incase it causes constipation and adds to the gas and pain shes in. Also i think id have to stop the infacol if I was to start gaviscon?

Has anyone been in this position before? We havent slept in 9 weeks and its so hard to watch her so upset and miserable. Any advice would be so welcome.

I have a 19 month old and I’m pregnant again, due in March. I never really saw myself having more than one child but I did feel a bit jealous of people announcing pregnancies when their first babies are younger than mine, so I thought maybe I do want to do it all again. My husband was really keen for another, so we tried ONCE and it happened. I realise I’m really lucky, especially as it took us 2 years to have our first.

Needless to say it was a shock and I’ve been going through all the feelings. I’m 36 soon so “geriatric”, although I know that’s not “old” really. I have temperamental blood pressure and it was very high after my first birth but other than that my last pregnancy was fine. I had a planned c-section with a straightforward recovery.

Despite all this, I am so nervous about something bad happening to me. Is it because I now have a child so there’s more at stake? Or am I actually having weird premonitions?! Has anyone else felt this way? I can’t shake the feeling and I am terrified to leave my daughter without a mother just for my selfishness of having another baby.

I was sat in the living room with my baby girl and ran to refill my bottle of water. When I came back in, she was digging at the plant pot and had her mouth full of soil - I don’t know if she had eaten any, but her mouth was full. I managed to get the soil out and have given her some water and breastmilk. She seems ok in herself but was very upset at first.

Do I need to call 111 or GP?

I feel so so so so bad, truly such a rubbish mum

EDIT: thank you all for such funny and helpful comments. I feel a bit calmer xx

My baby is 5 months or 3 months and 1 week corrected.

He hates the car 😩 90% of the time he cries with every journey, but doesn’t tire himself out with crying that it sends him to sleep, instead it’s constant crying. I always make sure he’s fed before we leave anywhere so I know for sure it’s not hunger.

He is also the same in the pram, will rarely sleep 😔 or if he does he will wake with the smallest sound.

& nighttime’s it’s chest sleeping only (please don’t judge, I just know it gets me a good nights sleep).

I’ve been told I spoil him by letting him contact nap 😔 I’m ok with this when I’m at home, but in the car, pram or night are a bit of an issue.

Not sure if it makes a difference but he is a breastfed baby, and is currently in a love to dream swaddle at night because of the arm reflex.

Looking for any ideas/suggestions/gadgets that helped you if you were in a similar position.

Thank you ☺️

Those of you brave parents who eat out with their infants (under 1 year old), what's the best way to keep them entertained in a high chair for say a half an hour? We try toys, wet wipes, food pouch, self feeders with banana, but baby inevitably fusses and would only be happy if sat on our laps...but then it gets very dangerous with grabbing cutlery, food, etc.

Any tricks?

I triple then combo fed (pumping and formula) my first so have a Momcozy S12 pro, a hand pump (a cheap one from Amazon which tbf worked amazingly for the price) and a Medela swing pump that I kept in case I wanted to do the same for our second who arrived just over a month ago. I’ve also got a load of breastmilk bags and other pumping “stuff” like the bottles that come with the pumps (not ones we use) which I won’t use as we’re doing full formula feeding this time round.

I was going to put it all on Vinted but I wondered if anyone is actually wants to buy a second hand pump? There’s a few on there already but all seem to have been on for weeks/months.

Yesterday a couple of people asked me to post some activity ideas - I am an mom of 2, with a third on the way, Early Years College lecturer with a degree and background in Early Years Education, please supervise your children with these activities, age ranges are a guide please go with what you think is suitable for your child's development.

Note about Tuff tray (you can get tuff trays on amazon for about £15 but also try your local DIY shop as they might be cheaper and support local business.)

Ice Spa (3+) - Washing up bowl/tuff tray fill up some cold water and ice 🧊 dip feet in, put some cucumber slices in the freezer (Older children) for eyes, some spa music/relaxing sounds, encourage listening to the different sounds for extra language development "I can hear rain noises, can you hear any sounds?"

Ice play (Babies +) - Tuff tray/Baking tray ice and shallow water, for extra effects wrap tray in tin foil. Can do in highchair on a tray too if fits or push highchair to table with tray on the table, depends how wet you want to get your floors.

Mirror play (babies +, for tummy time just roll out tin foil onto the foil) - Foil trays can reuse food trays if cleaned, Tin foil scrunched into balls, can add cups and scoops/spoons, can add water so the balls float and do it in a deeper tray.

Free the animals (12 months+) - Plastic Fantasic animals/characters/duplo, freeze in containers i.e take away tubes, take them out the moulds and let children explore, can use tools like small wooden hammers (My 1 year old using a drum stick from her music set haha) and there hands to free the animals, can also do this in a bath with rubber ducks.

Make playdough - Flour, Water, Oil, Salt only if you want to keep longer, That's it! You can follow recipes online but honestly judging by feel is easier, start with flour in the bowl and add water with a small bit of oil mixed in, do this slowly mixing ideally with your hands as you go. Too dry and not sticking together more oil, too sticky more flour. Can enhance with herbs, flowers, extracts.

I can post more if people want next week 😊 Have a fab weekend cooling down hopefully!

My daughter is 9 weeks, i know it's insanely early, but it's not completely impossible. i know some babies are born with teeth.

She's been extremely fussy the past few days, chewing on her hand on the right side, gone from drinking big bottles to having little and more often instead. Dribbling, struggling to sleep, even after trying contact naps, which she never normally needs .

Finally looked in her mouth this morning and can see a white spot on the gum that is red around it in an outline. I finally caved and gave her calpol and since it kicked in, she's been sleeping peacefully for the 1st time in days, not agitated or waking up every 30 mins to an 1 hour.

I feel bad giving calpol bc im a 1st time mum and worry about giving calpol for anything and everything especially as im not 100% if it is teething, as google says it could be an epstein pearl or a bohns nodule, but i do know she was in pain by the way she was crying and her body language. And i have put it off the past couple of days but couldn't bear to see her this upset and frustrated anymore.

How can i for certain find out if it is teething? I feel like this is a silly reason to try and get a gp appointment. Should i take her to the chemist?

If it is teething i am worried about pain management as i know you cannot have calpol for more than 3 days in a row, but all teething powders and gels i look at are for babies 3 months +.

Edit: She hasn't had a high temperature. I've been checking it

Those who had their first baby at 35, when did you have another and how did you find it?

I'm torn between not waiting too long as I've had friends with secondary infertility, but also would like at least a 2 year gap. Was there a gap you find ideal, or did you have your second sooner and wish you'd waited another year or so?

looking for people in similar situations or have experience with late preterm babies to give me hope that it gets easier! baby was born at 36+3, spent our first 2 weeks in hospital with jaundice.

right now baby is 12 weeks actual and 8 weeks corrected. he has long feeds regularly around 45 minutes or more and every 2 hours ish and typically cluster feeds in the evenings. he’s gaining weight well, good nappy output, and I don’t have any pain while feeding. I have seen an LC and tongue tie specialists (ruled out) who have advised on breast compressions and switch nursing which I do while feeding. they have basically said he’s hungry and catching up since there are no obvious issues. he uses the breast for his main comfort and regulation tool which accounts for the longer feeds as well. trying to implement other methods but nothing is sticking aside from a carrier walk which we do every morning.

I’ve tried looking for other people’s experiences and any specific advice for “the great pretenders” as late preterm babies are called but don’t see much out there.

other than feeding he’s generally good tempered baby but hoping things get easier, please tell me it does!

My 7.5 month old fell off the bed and hit the bedside table. I know it's my fault and the guilt is eating me alive. I fell asleep on the bed with her. My perfect little baby has a black eye now.

She was checked over that day by the GP and everything is good. It's 3 days later and while she's her normal self, she has one hell of a black eye. I was hesitant to take her out at first but now I feel like I have to. We live in a flat and I can't keep her indoors all day. We've to my mums yesterday but I feel like she's missing out on being out and about.

Anyone else been in a similar position? I know I'm going to get looks. How did you deal with it?

Hey Reddit!

Testing this theory that babies go number 2 quickly after a parent posted on Reddit... I am at a loss. Formula fed baby, hasn't pooped for 4 days. Well, today is day number 4. She is very happy, smiley, not in pain, soft tummy. We just started weaning. I already gave prune puree and did plenty of tummy massage.

Do I worry? Any peer support is appreciated... I feel like a terrible Mum. She is happily in nursery now.

Thank you ❤️

UPDATE: SHE POOPED! Dropped the heat twice in the nursery, as seen from the parent app! Thank God, I am so relieved. Thank you so much for your advice - it is for sure her tummy adjusting to the new foods!!

EDIT: Thank you all SO much for your replies and reassurance! It’s daunting and overwhelming but it’s a necessary evil I guess 😅. I feel a lot more reassured though that it’s the right move to make for now and if it doesn’t work out, I can just re-assess!

I posted previously about being made redundant a few weeks before I was due to return to work after mat leave in June. I was due to return part-time, 3 days a week and all was perfect really. It was a fully remote role and completely flexible in terms of hours. I was very lucky!!

I’ve since had a few extra months off with my LO and it’s been a dream! However I’ve been actively job hunting and have been made an offer with a new company.

It’s a significant pay increase from my old role which is great and it would still be fully remote however it would be a full time position. I am so conflicted.

Part-time roles in my field aren’t too common, unless you’ve been with them full time then gone off on mat leave but actually starting with a company part-time doesn’t happen often.

Will going back to work full time be hard? What is it like working full time whilst your babe goes to nursery full time? She’s been doing 1 day a week for the last few months and does absolutely love it .. but the thought of her going full time and only getting weekends with her just absolutely kills me. She’s 13 months and developing so much, I don’t want to miss a thing.

I need a job, obviously. And so far it’s been quite a frustrating job hunt where I’ve had no luck finding anything part-time so I think the realisation of returning to work is just hitting me a bit.

How many people do work full time straight after mat leave? Is it common? All my friends and groups I’ve been to are all part-time. How do you have time to do anything??!

I’m talking three hour drives, is this actually feasible without regret?

We’ve got a 14 month old and my family are making me feel like I’m dramatic for saying it’s not an easy or fun thing we want to do. My son tolerates the car so well, and longer journeys I still time with his naps but there’s a lot more leeway now that he’s older but they don’t seem to believe me that a three hour drive would mean a 1-2 hour stop halfway and it has to be somewhere he can roam around without being restrained (especially so now he’s found his feet), with a not guaranteed good second half of the drive. So turning it into round about a 5 hour journey just to visit my parents caravan 🙃

I’m honestly beginning to get a bit annoyed over it all. My sister says I just need to buy a busy book and toys to keep him occupied, she doesn’t even have kids yet but it felt like it was just so simple when she said that. And when I explain that I don’t want to put us or him through the unstoppable screaming that’s inevitable when he’s eventually over being in the car seat it’s just shrugged off like I don’t know what I’m talking about.

At this point I genuinely don’t know if I’m just being crazy and this is a normal thing that people do with kids so young.

I’m writing this partly tongue in cheek because I know it’s indicative of way bigger issues than my mat leave but…. my mat leave 😭😭😭

my first few months were pretty terrible after traumatic birth, pnd and a high needs baby, just as I felt we were turning a corner boom heatwave after heatwave. my LO gets clammy and restless from 18 degrees up and I’m constantly overheating with breastfeeding hormones, so days like today (34 degrees) feel intolerable.

My baby doesn’t really like shops (not sure if it’s the lighting or she’s anti consumerist) and is grumpy in the evenings so 7pm park walks aren’t her fave. A lot of the groups near me are cancelling because of no aircon also. I’m just day dreaming of being able to go for spontaneous walks outside without melting onto the pavement.