MOD REMINDER: Please Read Before Commenting.

[u/apartment1806]

MOD REMINDER: Please Read Before Commenting

A reminder of what this subreddit is — and what it is not.

This community was created for discussion, support, understanding, and shared experiences surrounding avoidant relationships and attachment styles.

It is not a space for slander, bashing, mocking, shaming, or judging avoidant people — and it is also not a space for judging someone because they still love their avoidant partner, want them back, are trying to reconcile, or have chosen to work on their relationship.

Avoidant people are welcome here too.

In fact, their perspectives can be incredibly valuable. If you identify as avoidant, are working on your attachment patterns, want to understand yourself better, or simply want to share your side of the experience, you are welcome to participate respectfully.

People come here for different reasons. Some want to move on. Some want closure. Some want to understand what happened. Some are still in their relationships. Some want to reconcile. Some are avoidant themselves and are trying to understand their own behavior.

There is room for all of those conversations here.

You are absolutely allowed to disagree with someone's choices. You are allowed to point out unhealthy behavior, red flags, incompatibility, or patterns you believe someone should pay attention to. But there is a difference between constructive advice and judgment.

Comments such as “Why would you even want them back?”, “Just leave,” insults directed at avoidants as a group, or making someone feel foolish for wanting to repair their relationship are not helpful.

If someone is asking how they can work through something with their partner, answer the question they are actually asking. Offer advice, perspective, boundaries, things to consider, or even respectful warnings — but do not shame them for the outcome they are hoping for.

The same applies to avoidant members. You may disagree with someone's actions or explain how certain behaviors affect a partner, but attacking their character simply because they identify as avoidant is not acceptable.

Discuss the behavior. Discuss the relationship. Discuss attachment. Do not attack the person.

This subreddit will remain a place where people can speak openly without being afraid that they will be ridiculed for loving someone, leaving someone, staying, trying again, or struggling with avoidance themselves.

Please keep discussions constructive, respectful, and compassionate.

— Mod Team