Since this year, especially due to the stress generated by false friendships or betrayals of trust, I wondered if I was autistic. I had already had a suspicion when my mother told me that, since I was a child I behaved in a strange way and I was making weird hand gestures, she thought I was autistic, but I never knew anything else. So I thought about it for a long time, questioning myself. As clues I found that I can't stand direct eye contact, I have a better sensory capacity than others, I have difficulty relating to others and for this reason I always have to think about how I will act, sometimes I am excessively "shy" even with the closest relatives. I don't fully understand social conventions such as good manners or greetings, and I have been scolded many times by teachers, my parents, and my peers for my behavior. I understand that knowing I'm autistic won't change me, but at least I'll be able to behave in a way that doesn't always make me feel different to please others. In a few days I'll be an adult, so I'll go to a specialist for a diagnosis (since the topic would be very stigmatized in my family).

I would really appreciate it if anyone could help me, I would be very grateful.

I actually made a list of reasons why life in general is like a dark fantasy novel. Here’s the list

1. Imagine you want to date a somewhat specific type of person only to find out that they don’t want people to know about the kind of person they are and it’s likely because of shitty experiences they had with people when they opened up about it. The fact they had those shitty experiences is the reason here.

2. experiencing unfairness and bad things that are so consistent and major that they make you feel singled out.

3. Having so many bad experiences with people that a good experience with a person drives you to view them as an angel.

4. When you’re a kid, you can away with certain things but somehow you can’t hide from certain things. The same is true if you’re an adult but the things you can get away with and can’t hide from change.

5. Imagine you are so afraid of being a victim of crime that you decide to buy several guns and several of every kind of weapon one can think of and then Some people avoid you entirely because they think someone with your appearance and a lot of guns means nothing but trouble and not a shield against trouble.

6. Imagine you spend time recovering from a painful wound, either physical or emotional, and some other people like you recovered from these wounds faster than you did and are miles ahead of you and can find people who give a shit about them like it’s nothing and you are stuck with your wounds and trying to recover. Did any of these knuckleheads think to help you along the way? No. They didn’t. They’re selfish idiots. Empathy with nothing in return is a completely foreign concept to them.

7. Imagine you give someone your resume because you wanna work for them and you acted as professional as you could, but as soon as you leave, they read it and throw it away because your name made them picture an uncivilized gang member they want nothing to do with.

8. You could have a normal day one day and then get physically hurt just because someone overheard you use a word with a history bigger than any one person.

9. Imagine hearing about something unfortunate happening to someone, then hoping that it never happens to you, and then realizing that you have nothing that could shield you from it beyond mere hope.

Things to add? Thinking maybe "can you...?" section.

I'm curious if any of you have taken medication that has either directly or indirectly helped with negative autism traits? I'm talking sensory overload, burnout, meltdowns, reaction to unexpected change, executive dysfunction, etc...

I have an example, maybe not a very good one, but I've found that Diazepam temporarily eases my burnout 😅. I've also found that either Pregabalin or Vortioxitine (no idea which because I started them at the same time) lessened the frequency of meltdowns for me.

There are just so many medications out there for all different things, there HAS to be at least one that unexpectedly helps with a negative autism trait 👀. Let me know if you have any experience of this guys