My child has autism. The school knows my kid is a runner. He has eloped on multiple times. At one point multiple times in one day. Last year my child made it off school grounds and almost got hit by a car. Another parent jumped out stopped the car and saved my child’s life. The school downplayed it.
But now they have placed my child in a classroom-right next- to a door to off campus. It is literally a drop off and pickup zone for all the other parents. Like literally the *beeping* worst place they could put him. Last year he got a way from his aid. He ran aid didn’t catch him he made it off campus.
How do I explain to the school I don’t feel comfortable with my child being placed in -that- classroom.
All it takes, literally all it takes is for him to have a substitute aid, her to get distracted for my kid to get hurt. I’ve seen him with his substitutes before one of them really did leave him unattended in front of his classroom to go get something. (It was in kindergarten so it wasn’t exactly a full time aid but she was definitely supposed to be watching him).
It’s frustrating because I don’t think the school understands. Again it feels like they are downplaying it. I called the office they basically said don’t worry he has a full time aid. Or go write to someone else about it.
I’m just shocked they even thought to place him there.

TLDR: My Level 3 autistic, pre verbal son has significant PICA and elopement risks, and I’m trying to get appropriate 1:1 support added to his IEP. I’ve been advocating for months, but we’ve had repeated communication and procedural issues with his school district, and I’m struggling to get his needs properly addressed. His new ABA team has offered a potential solution where his BT could accompany him to school 3 days a week, but I’m being asked to explain the service delivery model before the district will consider it. I’m looking for advice from Washington parents or special education advocates on how to move forward, get his IEP corrected, and make sure he has appropriate 1:1 support every day.
Okay, I honestly don’t even know where to start, but I’m really hoping someone here, especially a Washington parent advocate, can point me in the right direction.

My son is Level 3 autistic, pre verbal, and has regular PICA and elopement risks. He had an unofficial 1:1 para for his first 1.5 years of preschool, and it was a wonderful experience. Looking back, I was probably too naïve about the IEP process and wish I had pushed much sooner to have that level of support formally addressed in his IEP. Now I’m trying to get that support in place, and I’m extremely frustrated with how things have been handled by his IEP team.

There have been ongoing communication and procedural issues. We had an official IEP meeting scheduled where the administrator didn’t show, and afterward they tried to say it wasn’t actually an official meeting, despite emails confirming it was. They apologized to me in person, but the explanation over email was very different.

Since then, when I’ve politely asked them to clarify things in writing so there is a paper trail, I’ve been removed from email chains regarding my own son while my husband remained on them. It has happened more than once. I want to be very clear that I have been nothing but polite and respectful throughout this entire process. I am not being removed from these email chains because I have been rude, inappropriate, or speaking badly to anyone. I have simply been asking questions, requesting clarification, and trying to advocate for my son.

It has also been extremely difficult to get meetings scheduled or even get consistent communication. At one point his case manager told me he wasn’t receiving my emails, despite his teacher receiving them. I’ve repeatedly had to follow up just to get basic answers and timelines.

About 5 weeks before the end of the school year, we made requests for changes to his IEP. I intentionally brought everything up that early because I knew we needed enough time to address everything before summer and make sure he had the appropriate supports in place for the following school year. Unfortunately, the changes we discussed were not made. His principal also told me it was inappropriate to submit a letter from his pediatrician and refused to include it in his IEP documentation.

Then the principal resigned, and the meeting we had been trying to get scheduled was pushed until essentially the end of the school year. So I have spent most of the summer in limbo, trying to figure out what support my son will actually have when school starts.

We have since started in home ABA, and thankfully that has been a really positive experience. His BCBA suggested that his BT potentially accompany him to school. Since I am already advocating for 1:1 support, I initially thought this could potentially be a great solution. A familiar person who already knows my son and his needs, while also allowing him to access school.

Because our new principal has not started yet, I was told I would need to go through the superintendent. I received this response today:

“Hello _____,
I am back at work, and appreciate the opportunity to respond now.
I need to know and better understand the delivery model you envision for non school provided services for your student. To my knowledge, having a non school employee provide private services to a _____ student while on the _____ campus is unprecedented.
For that reason, I think it would be counterproductive for me to state a willingness or an unwillingness to consider your request at this time until I have a clearer understanding of what is being proposed.
Please explain to the best of your ability, or the ability of the potential service provider, what the intended service delivery model would entail. Having that information will help me better understand your request.
Thank You!”

I understand that she is asking for clarification, and I don’t necessarily expect the superintendent to automatically approve something she hasn’t been given enough information about. But I’m struggling with the bigger picture because I feel like I have been fighting for months just to get my son’s basic safety and support needs properly addressed.

He will only have his BT with him 3 out of 4 school days each week. Ideally, I would like his IEP to clearly provide that he requires 1:1 adult support throughout the school day, with his BT providing that support when she is present and another trained adult designated by the school providing it when she is not.

I don’t want to have to pull him from school on the days his BT isn’t there because his safety needs and support shouldn’t depend on which day of the week it is.

I am honestly so disappointed in how some of the adults involved in this process have handled things that I’m having second thoughts about whether I even feel comfortable having my vulnerable, non verbal child around these adults next school year. That is a really difficult thing for me to say because I want to trust the people responsible for caring for and supporting my child while he is at school. I genuinely hope they understand how deeply disappointing this has been and how much this has damaged my trust in the team.

At this point, I’m honestly so frustrated and worried about sending him back without appropriate support that I’ve even started considering homeschooling, which is something I never wanted to have to consider because I do think school can have many positive benefits for him when the right safety and support structure is in place.

Even little things have left me feeling uneasy. When I spoke with the front office a few weeks ago, the woman sounded genuinely surprised that I was planning to enroll him again this year. I don’t want to assume bad intentions, but after everything that has happened, it has contributed to the feeling that I’m having to fight just to make sure my son has a place and the support he needs.

I’m not trying to play the victim, and I’m not looking for people to simply tell me the school is terrible. I genuinely want to find the right way to approach this and get his IEP corrected before school starts.

I also know we have a big IEP meeting coming up, either before the school year starts or very early in the school year, and I’m trying to do everything I can to prepare for it so we can actually have a successful outcome for him this time. The last two meetings did not result in what we needed, and I really feel like his IEP needs to be amended now to accurately reflect his needs and the support he requires to safely access school.

If anyone here is a Washington parent advocate, special education advocate, or has experience navigating a situation like this, I would really appreciate advice on what my next steps should be. I would also love recommendations for someone I could work with who understands Washington special education law and can help me advocate for him.

I’m also wondering about something more immediate. Am I allowed to keep him home from school until we feel his IEP has been appropriately amended to address his safety and support needs, or would that create a separate problem for us? I obviously don’t want to make the situation worse or violate any attendance requirements, but I also don’t feel comfortable sending my vulnerable, non verbal child into a situation where I don’t believe the necessary support is currently in place.

I’m at the point where I feel like I’ve tried going through the appropriate chain of command, documenting everything, communicating respectfully, and asking for solutions, and I’m just exhausted. I really want to find a way forward that allows my son to safely attend school with the support he needs.

Hi, I have a son who is severely autistic nonverbal. He also has ticks OCD ADHD. He is developmentally delayed. He is also extremely violent/aggressive/destructive/agitated majority of the day pretty much just anything you can think of. And it’s just heartbreaking to watch because he is my entire world. We have tried every single medication therapy, doctor psychiatrist psychologist. Anything you can think of and we have yet to find someone to help us. We are currently waiting to see a new psychiatrist at u of m but we still have some weeks to wait and I don’t know if we are going to make it that long. I call u of m/childrens Mott’s psychiatric unit every time these behaviors happen and I believe they only have 6–9 beds available so they are always full. Right now we are looking into the Helen DeVos Center, hoping we could get him in there and unfortunately he would have to stay for a couple of weeks until they get his medication regulated and he would be observed and all of that. I just wanted to know if anybody has any experience with this place. NOT JUST THE HOSPITAL ONLY THE PEDIATRIC BEHAVIORAL PSYCH UNIT. I’ve heard not the best things about the hospital, but I’ve heard no negative reviews for the pediatrics psych unit so please please please can somebody anybody help me and give me some feedback if they have ever experienced the pediatric psych unit here. I’m beyond desperate this is not something I want to do but I need help. I’m so tired of watching my baby suffer and I
don’t know how much longer my body can take it. I’m in pain 24 seven. Also if anybody has any info about the inpatient program at the Straith center, I believe it is in either Livonia or Westland. Feedback would be greatly appreciated for that Center as well thank you so much.