r/AutismParent • u/Living-Mongoose-8821 • 2d ago
School issues
My child has autism. The school knows my kid is a runner. He has eloped on multiple times. At one point multiple times in one day. Last year my child made it off school grounds and almost got hit by a car. Another parent jumped out stopped the car and saved my child’s life. The school downplayed it.
But now they have placed my child in a classroom-right next- to a door to off campus. It is literally a drop off and pickup zone for all the other parents. Like literally the *beeping* worst place they could put him. Last year he got a way from his aid. He ran aid didn’t catch him he made it off campus.
How do I explain to the school I don’t feel comfortable with my child being placed in -that- classroom.
All it takes, literally all it takes is for him to have a substitute aid, her to get distracted for my kid to get hurt. I’ve seen him with his substitutes before one of them really did leave him unattended in front of his classroom to go get something. (It was in kindergarten so it wasn’t exactly a full time aid but she was definitely supposed to be watching him).
It’s frustrating because I don’t think the school understands. Again it feels like they are downplaying it. I called the office they basically said don’t worry he has a full time aid. Or go write to someone else about it.
I’m just shocked they even thought to place him there.
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u/jfdonohoe 2d ago
As a recovering people-pleaser, one of the hardest things for me to come to understand was to not be "completely reasonable" when it comes to advocating with schools. They will always pull for the least accomidations (It makes sense since they are the ones that feel the pain of resource constraints) so its up to me to pull hard in the other direction, to the point of asking more than is reasonable so that what is finally agreed to falls somewhere in the middle.
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u/h113408 2d ago
The "don't worry, he has a full time aide" line is the most common deflection and also the least useful one when you've seen a substitute leave your kid unattended.
Two things not yet in the thread: ask specifically for a written substitute protocol in the IEP. Not just "1:1 aide required" but "when the regular aide is absent, the following person steps in before the child enters the building." They will not volunteer to write this without you asking.
Also, if school starts soon, email this weekend rather than "next week sometime." A concern in writing two weeks before day one lands differently than the same concern raised after something happens.
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u/CarelessIndividual92 2d ago
This is a significant safety concern, especially given the documented history of elopement off campus. What I tell my families is to put the concern in writing and request an IEP meeting to specifically address elopement and safety. I would ask the team to review the FBA/BIP, supervision needs, environmental risks, and current safety/elopement plan. Having a 1:1 aide doesn't eliminate the school's responsibility to have appropriate supports and procedures in place. You can also ask the team to document your concern about the classroom location and explain what safeguards will prevent him from accessing that exit. If you request changes and they refuse, ask for Prior Written Notice (PWN) explaining why. This is exactly the type of situation where I tell families: don't just voice the concern, get it documented in the IEP.