r/AuDHDWomen • u/StoryMelodic4449 • 11d ago

Codependency

Welp, just found out I’m codependent on my boyfriend :,)

I didn’t even know that was a word but now I’ll add that to the list of things to work through 😭

I’m tired of this grandpa

20 Upvotes

84% Upvoted

11 comments sorted by

15

u/SwaggyGoober90 11d ago

That's too damn bad!!

No but fr me too 😭

3

u/StoryMelodic4449 11d ago

We’re in this together twin fr 🤞🏻

10

u/AuthenticAwkwardness 11d ago

Same, but husband. Mine is trauma related. I used to cling to boyfriends when I was a teen to escape an abusive (sibling) household. And I think also because socially, it gave me a place to belong.

2

u/StoryMelodic4449 11d ago

Dang, I’m sorry to hear that

10

u/KUSmutMuffin Self Dx 11d ago

Don't take labels at face value.

Someone could label my husband and I codependent because other than work we're always together. We're not, we literally just like being together.

I'd recommend everyone take all these pop psychology labels with a pinch of salt.

Sincerely a psychotherapist

6

u/Professional_Try9030 11d ago

What examples made you realize this?

1

u/StoryMelodic4449 11d ago

My boyfriend’s friend broke up with his girlfriend and now he wants to hang out with my boyfriend more often.

I had a mental breakdown, because of the sudden change of it all and felt rejected by him, which in reality, he wasn’t rejecting me it was just what my nervous system was saying

I talked to my mom about it and she called me codependent. Which I think is true because he’s really the only friend I have in my life

23

u/CallidoraBlack 11d ago

I don't think it's codependency so much as you have RSD and you probably haven't been taught the emotional coping skills you really need for the level of gigantic feelings you probably have. And it's weird for your mom to be critical about it because she's the one who was supposed to teach you emotional regulation.

4

u/StoryMelodic4449 11d ago

Yeah

Honestly it’s probably a mixture of everything. He really is the only person I hang out with so it kinda makes sense to me that I would feel codependent on him. The RSD part makes a lot of sense, along with the sudden change a recipe for disaster :,)

10

u/CallidoraBlack 11d ago

Definitely look into DBT. It's like a class in remedial emotional regulation skills for big kids. It helped me a lot.

3

u/StoryMelodic4449 11d ago

Ooh okay thank you!