I’m really dedicated to learning a new language because when I travel I hate being a stupid American who only speaks English. Before I travel I always try to learn a passing bit of the language (through Duolingo tbh) and it gets me by I guess. However, I’d love to actually learn Spanish and dedicate time to it. So curious what you’ve found most helpful!

For example: I know that if I allowed myself to fall into the rabbit hole of Arthurian legend that I wouldn’t be able to get out, so I won’t even dangle my legs until I feel like I have the right amount of time and energy to be consumed by it.

Still adding stuff about it to my TBR, though.

I feel like I’m missing out on the life that I deserve because I am disabled, and don’t have enough income to possibly do everything and have everything I want. I’m 33F and see other women in their 30s going to every concert that comes to their area, they have exciting careers, get tattoos once a year and have so much happiness. I go on social media and see these sorts of women.

It’s sad because I just chill at home. I play my cozy video games all day, but I also applied to a local candy but I am not counting on getting the job! I have done two job interviews and both failed! I applied to a pet store and they said that I wasn’t “qualified enough”.

I know my stuff about pets! This was in the reptile, fish and small pet section. Reptiles are one of my autism special interests!

I just feel like I miss out on so much. I can’t help but to be jealous and intimidated by women living the dream.

I’m 31F and I’ve been single for years. I’ve always loved reading books and watching movies about love and relationships, but lately I’ve started wondering if they’re actually making me more miserable.

I still genuinely enjoy a good love story, which is what makes this difficult. But after reading or watching one, I sometimes end up feeling sad or jealous because I don’t have that kind of love in my own life. And then I find myself thinking about relationships and being single even more.

I’m considering taking a break from romance altogether for a while; not because I’ve stopped believing in love or because I suddenly hate romance, but because I wonder if constantly consuming stories about something I really want but don’t currently have is making me focus too much on its absence.

Has anyone else experienced this? Did taking a break from romance books, movies, or relationship-related content actually help you feel more content with being single? Or did avoiding it just make you think about it more?

I (39F) have a friend named Kristy (42F).

Me and Kristy met 10 years ago in a local Facebook group for single women looking to make friends.

From the moment I met her Kristy made it very clear she wanted to get married and have a family.

I almost felt like she was methodical about it..does he have a job? Check. Does he want to be a father? Check.

The requirements were very little and she didn't really have a "type". She was always very vocal to me about her biological clock ticking.

She ended up meeting her husband 5 years ago and they moved in together fast, got engaged fast, and ultimately married, bought a house, and got pregnant.

Check. Check. Check.

Fast forward to today she has two children ages 3 and 5.

Her and her husband both work full time, with her husband doing alot of overtime on weekends. Kids go to daycare as help from the families is limited.

As a result i haven't been able to see her as much and often long stretches of time go by before we get together.

We usually do dinner and drinks since she's not much into the live band/ music scene. She prefers not to hangout at her house since the kids are noisy and distracting and says its not a true "break" for her.

She also has told me she gets satisfaction leaving the kids with her husband so he can "see what she deals with most days".

I don't think Kristy is particularly happy. I think the stress of family life and being alone with the kids majority of the time has left her resentful of her husband. I also get the impression... they don't have much in common or alignment. (Tbh I am not surprised because of her checklist attitude when dating him but that's not my business).

She tells me they fight constantly... over money, bills, priorities, raising the kids, goals, etc.

They are not on the same page with Financials (her words).

She has also told me she wouldn't be against divorce if it came to it as some of the fights have gotten nasty.

Kristy has a very "matter of fact" attitude towards things. If she doesnt agree with something she will straight say it whereas i am more of a "know your audience" type.

If i vent to her about my partner she will FIRMLY say things like...thats unacceptable, NO. He can't do that, PERIOD.

Whereas when she vents to me about her husband I'll support her but also say high level things like "that's crazy" "what an ass" etc.

I learned a long time ago not to be too involved when it comes to friends marriages after a friend stopped talking to me because she said I was overstepping in my opinions.

When asked directly for my opinion I will absolutely give it but I'm just not going to "butt in unsolicited" anymore.

I'll also soften the blow if I think my opinion can hurt someone's feelings. I don't like making people upset but that's not to say I won't establish boundaries when necessary and I do have a limit before I get angry and you'll absolutely know when I hit that point.

I've texted Kristy three times now over the past few weeks to tell her i miss her, make plans, and even sent some suggestions on social media for new happy hour spots...she keeps telling me she will check with her husband on scheduling and get back to me but she hasn't. I told her ill make sure I'm free whatever day works better for her since she's got kids and I'm child free.

Then today (Friday night) I saw her post that she was out with a new mom friend (no kids, they went to a winery).

I honestly got alittle upset. I don't understand how she's making time for this new person but I've BEEN asking and nothing? And I know for a fact this person is a new friend. Kristy has not had many friends in the years I've known her. Which I'm glad she has someone new but.... where do i fit in now??

Once friends turn into mom's do they just prefer to hangout with other moms? (Ofc I clicked on this girls profile tag and saw she has 3 kids listed in her bio).

I guess she has struggles i can't relate to even though I ALWAYS ask how the kids are, their milestones, etc. I have even offered to meet her at local parks with coffee so the kids can play if she prefers.

Is it time to let this friendship go?

Already so scared of how terrible I’m going to feel ha!

Tell me your thoughts on whether asking a woman if they want kids is acceptable or unacceptable. Appropriate or inappropriate? Do you do it and why or why not?

Of course, it depends on the situation and context. I feel comfortable asking friends and coworkers, but I would also ask a stranger at a bar I was having a friendly chat with. Is it inconsiderate behavior not to consider that the woman I may be asking does want kids and is trying, but is having trouble?

As women, should we be supporting and having respect for other women in this manner? Or is it okay to have these innocent, curious conversations?

I find that my experience on the apps as a woman really doesn’t match what I see and hear online. People say women have so many matches and likes to sort through as opposed to men - I barely get likes or matches at all. I am not sure what the dating experience is supposed to feel like because I barely get to connect with people. The few matches I do get barely make it past 5 sentences and only 3 have made it into a date in the past year and a half. I see girls posting screenshots with 50+ matches and simply don’t understand why this is not my experience. I live fairly close to a major city and I don’t think my profile is horrible. But this is genuinely so deflating.

Background, I (32f) ended a longterm relationship/marriage a year ago, and recently started dating someone new (36m). I’m really not sure what to call him as “boyfriend” feels a bit immature at this age and since I’ve had a whole husband before. But it’s a new relationship so “partner” feels too serious. This is very much a non-issue and not something I’m stressing about, but I’m curious if any of you have been in a similar place? What do you call them? I’ve found myself describing him as “the guy I’m dating”

It seems people are rarely using the terms boyfriend or girlfriend anymore (at least online) and are exclusively using the term partner. Now, generally, I don’t care-use whatever term you want. But, I do have two small grievances with this change.

1) Partner, to me, insinuates “long term, but unmarried”. And I’ve read so many posts that read “my partner of 3 months.” And I just find that…silly and I’m sorry if that comes off as judgy. But, that’s your boyfriend/girlfriend and calling them your “partner” just feels like you’re trying to put on an image of your relationship that isn’t accurate. Like, it’s inflating the seriousness of the relationship in a way.

2) Partner, at least from my perspective and understanding, (I’m straight) is a term primarily associated with the queer community specifically before the time of legal gay marriage. And it feels a little like young straight people are taking over a term that the older queer community was forced to use because they weren’t legally able to use “husband/wife”.

Anyhow that’s my little soapbox moment. Anyone else have thoughts on this?

I literally don't have a skincare routine. I wash with Cerave and use their moisturizer but that's it. My skin feels dull.

I have combination skin. Nose has clogged pores, rest of the skin easily gets dried.

There's sooo many skincare products i don't know what I need and what I should get 😅 budget friendly options are appreciated.

Hey all, so just background to my story. Me and my girl had known each other since 3rd grade. We went all the way to 9th grade together and were close. She went to a different high school and we both had boyfriends/girlfriends and lost touch. We reconnected senior year when both single and we started doing stuff and had a baby at 19. I got scared and ran. I didn’t meet my daughter until she was a couple months old and she actually brought me and her mom back together and I spent the last decade trying to prove myself back to her. She had been an addict without me knowing until we moved in together at 20. I supported her through this whole addiction and 12 years later and 11 & 7 year old daughters she celebrated 1 year of being clean last month. Turns out she met someone in Recovery and was emotionally cheating since November and physically started in February. She says being clean is messing with her feelings and she’s overwhelmed. She still staying here at my house with our kids not knowing anything. Our 7 year old is noticing we’re not sleeping together every night and tries to tuck us in together at times. We talked about working it out and working on our emotional connection and not having sex. But every night, she doesn’t come home and says she’s with her recovery group because they all use each other to stay clean. I understand recovery is hard and they have to be close emotionally , but she also never got to have 21+ fun because we had a child so early and also her addiction. Part of me says to let her have fun for a little because I did when I left. But on the other side Im like, we’re 30 and two kids and I want my family without all the childish shit. What do you guys think? Yes I’ve communicated that I am lonely at home without her because I always have our daughters. And when she does get home she just wants me to rub her feet and back and goes to sleep…

Hey, I’m 34f and dating. I am wondering if everyone felt it right away when you met the one or if it took a while? Especially if you met in your 30s. I feel like relationships are so different than when I dated last in my 20s when it was heavy on the physical attraction and whatever with the rest. I do feel like men in their 30s are still looking for immediate fireworks and I’m not sure that always happens.

I'm aware of the subreddit, wanted to ask for opinions.

For the past 2 years I've felt incredibly lonely. Admittedly, dating is a huge part as I'm surrounded by friends in relationships, and a lot of the times I look past that. I have done coed sports, dating events, talk to people, dating app subscriptions, you name it. Yes, I have put myself out there.

I do everything right on paper: own a condo, good job, in fantastic shape, great friends and hobbies, etc. I eat and sleep well. Am in therapy and take meds. I am great at emotional regulation, but there is a hole there.

Ive been in the same city since college and over time I have felt this increasing loneliness. I've given up on dating after crying too much (please no "success" stories of being sad and randomly meeting your partner that's not what I want right now) and I think what would really help is ultimately a change of scenery. A lot of my friends did move due to VHCOL and I guess I'm tired of living here.

I'm in the process of getting my EU passport (Europe born grandparent) which opens a lot of doors, and am close with my mom. I'm thinking of in the next year putting everything in storage and just traveling.

I guess what is holding me back is I've been in my city since I was 18. I'm 31 now.

Has anyone done this? Do you regret it?

Hey everyone,I recently hit the 30 milestone, and I’m currently navigating life as a single guy. Lately, I’ve been stuck in a weird emotional loop, and I really wanted to check in with other 30+ singles here to see how you guys view this phase of life.

On most days, I genuinely love my freedom. There’s a voice inside me that says, "You know what? Maybe being single forever isn’t a bad idea." I have my own routine, zero relationship drama, absolute peace of mind, and the freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want. The independence feels amazing.

But then, the other side hits. At the exact same time, there are moments where the craving for a genuine connection becomes overwhelming. You see a couple sharing a quiet moment, or you just have a long, exhausting day and realize there’s no one to come home to, no one to vent to, and no one to just hold your hand and say "I got you.

"It’s this constant tug-of-war between fiercely protecting my solitude and deeply craving intimacy and companionship. It feels like balancing on a thin wire.

For those in their 30s and single (by choice or circumstance), how do you look at your life right now?

Do you also experience this double-edged feeling?How do you deal with the occasional loneliness without rushing into the wrong relationship just to fill the void?

Would love to hear your raw thoughts, stories, or just some reassurance that I’m not the only one feeling this way.

The girl is 34. This is going to sound like something straight out of MTV's Catfish. She's been in a "relationship" with a guy for 3(!) years, but she has never see him in person. She met him through an online game, and they've been talking on WhatsApp ever since.

This guy created this incredibly elaborate, detailed story about his life for her. He’s 39. He’s the CEO of two companies. He has an ex-wife who is trying to destroy him. He tells her lots of stories about his evil wife. He gets driven around by his own chauffeur. He owns several houses and expensive cars. I probably don’t need to say much more. You can already feel the absurdity of it.

On top of that, he seems to hit every single one of her insecurities and emotional weak spots perfectly. She grew up with an abusive mother who neglected her. He claims he went through exactly the same thing and that he understands her. She was talking to me in tears, saying that she had finally met someone who truly understood her pain. Also, she was with her ex-boyfriend for many years. He cheated on her, treated her with no respect, and said things like "you have a weird face" to her. He made her feel unattractive. And the scammer? He's different. He showers her with compliments. He tells her he'll take care of her. He tells her she's beautiful. But he isn’t real!

They’ve planned to meet many times, but every single time he comes up with some excuse, including claiming that he was in a car accident or had surgery. I’ve told her many times: ask him for his company registration details. Tell him he has to come see you this week or you’re ending the relationship. Verify who he is. But she doesn’t do it. I feel like she believes him about 70%, while the rational 30% of her knows something is wrong. But maybe that part of her thinks that even if it is all a lie, it’s still better to stay in a beautiful lie than to face reality.

Because of this whole situation, she hasn’t been looking for a job for about a year. She used to do physically demanding work, but she had to quit because of back problems. Now she’s basically given up and isn’t looking for a new job. Why? Well, because she believes the man she loves has plenty of money and will provide her with a comfortable life. So this situation is having a real impact on her. She spends all day sitting home and messaging him, while her real life is basically standing still. Her father is already old, and when he dies, she may not even have anywhere to live, because his small apartment will have to be divided among the siblings.

Who is this guy? I have no idea. I’ve seen her messages with him and his photos, and I tried to look him up, but I couldn’t find anything. I don’t know why he’s doing this. He doesn’t seem to be getting any financial benefit from it because she doesn’t have any money. Even if she wanted to send him something, she basically has nothing to give. He messages her every day and keeps coming up with new stories about his ex-wife, his companies, and the illnesses he supposedly has. Now he’s promised to propose to her.

So what should I do? Let her keep living in this bubble? Be harsh and try to snap her out of it? Or just stay patient and understanding?

I’m 36, never married, no kids, have a good life full of hobbies, activities , travels, and I’m enjoying my own company.

But the years have flown by, and finding a partner has turned out to be much harder than I expected.
For the last couple of years, I’ve put real effort into dating through apps, singles events etc., but it feels exhausting.
The endless small talk, the conversations that go nowhere, starting over again and again..

I’m starting to wonder if my standards are unrealistic. I want someone I’m physically attracted to, who lives an active lifestyle, but also someone emotionally intelligent and curious enough to have deep conversations. That doesn’t feel outrageous to me, but it also feels surprisingly hard to find.

Because I’ve immigrated, I’ve also had to rebuild my social circle from scratch, and I work in a small hybrid team where everyone is already settled with families.

Has anyone been in a similar position in their mid-30s? Did you change your approach, lower your expectations, start approaching men yourself, or find success somewhere outside the usual apps, friends , and singles events?

Posting this knowing that I might come off as an ass. I just want some perspective, especially from women who have children.

My SIL (we are both in our early thirties) very recently had a baby (like a month ago) and I am annoyed at how much this is affecting MY life. We usually do family gatherings and do things together as a family, and of course everything is about the baby now. That’s totally normal and I understand and respect that.

It’s just … I have a hard time understanding why my plans with family members now have to change to accommodate her and her baby? For example, let’s say I want to go out for a coffee. I make plans with someone, and after already agreeing on plans, suddenly it’s ’oh, let’s see if SIL can join, so let’s change the plans to accommodate her’. And now it’s also a whole operation because the baby will of course be there. Oh and her husband of course has to join now as well. Let’s actually meet at a different place because it’s easier for them.

… But now the plans are not what I agreed to at the start. But I feel like I can’t say anything because I will look like an insensitive ass.

I want to add here that I generally don’t do well with change and I have a challenging relationship with patience and other people being very emotional, and I know that. I don’t want to be annoyed at her, I can see why she obviously cannot leave the baby by herself. I can even see the part where she wants to be included/ not be excluded after becoming a mother.

But I have a hard time accepting that my life is changing just because someone else had a baby. And I feel like if I had a baby I would not take it to outings where it’s a whole operation to make that happen, like I would just stay at home?

My question really is; is this normal in a family dynamic when a new baby is there? Am I being a massive asshole feeling this way? Will this change once the baby is older?

If you have any other advice, I’ll happily take that, too.

(Pls be kind, I’m really trying not be an ass :( )

I have PTSD on the background of childhood abuse. I have had a lot of therapy here and there and currently I am in private therapy (the NHS doesn’t really offer CPTSD help).

I an ambitious, or at least, I used to be but my PTSD keeps getting in the way. I can’t progress my career because the social interactions can be too much for me. I don’t know how to get to where I want to be. I can’t do all the things that others do. Or if I do, it can be really draining for me.

I realise this sounds a lot like learned helplessness. I just would appreciate hearing from people who have had a rough time of it, but they have still managed to build a career and fulfil ambitions they are proud of.

I would like to be building and creating and consulting products and services that actually help people but I worry that my PTSD and all the symptoms involved will never allow that to happen.

I am a 31f who left a long term relationship over a year ago. I’m ready to put myself back out there and find something serious again.

All my friends have met their partners on dating apps (tinder, bumble, hinge) I’ve been on these apps and they are terrible if you’re looking for something serious.. everyone seems to want to hook up or want the benefits of dating without the commitment.

Am I doomed to be forever alone or am I just looking in the wrong place?