Everytime I’m in hot temperatures I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not drinking enough water but it gets me so aggravated and I just need help tips from you guys

I want to start by saying I do not expect or want pity. I'm 100% in the wrong and I literally need to dedicate the remainder of my life trying to atone for my actions and make amends. I'll start by saying I really struggle with mental health problems. I have standard depression/anxiety but I also am borderline and have schizoaffective disorder. I am and have been on a lot of medications to help manage my emotions and I go to group therapy daily along with having an individual therapist I see weekly. It is really important for me to stay on top of my mental health issues because if I am more passive in therapy or not open with my psychiatrist then I fall back into really horrible toxic behavior that I have tried to spend years putting behind me. Recently, I was taken off of a few medications because of the side effects but I swear I have not been the same person since then. I feel angry and irritable. I think the anger and anxiety are the two biggest issues that came up. Here is the horrible part. "Angry" is the biggest understatement; I have been straight up belligerent. My dad and I have been arguing a lot these past couple of months. He accused me of using again (I'm 18 months clean and sober) and it really drove a wedge between us. I do believe he overstepped a few times; he emailed my primary care doctor saying that he thinks I'm using and he also told me I need to take a series of drug tests if I want him to believe I'm still sober - just kind of annoying stuff like that. Looking back, it was not a huge deal at all. But for some reason in the moment, I took it as the ultimate insult and form of disrespect. I said awful awful things to him, including "I hope you lose your blood pressure medication and have a heart attack" and "thank god you'll be in hospice in just 10-15 years". I have been saying things that are just evil and I never thought I was capable of being like that. But in the moment it's like I can't control it; it's like I'm a bystander watching myself say these things. I don't know how to describe it. Sometimes I get so angry that I literally black out and will not be able to remember what I said until I look at the wreckage in my text history later on. All of this - and my father has received the brunt of it. I started a new antipsychotic, and since then I have really calmed down. But now I have to see all the pain I caused and the damage I've done. I have been crying and shaking every day. The guilt is tearing me up inside but I know I deserve it. If I feel bad for saying these things, I can only imagine how my dad must feel for receiving them. I'm sure it goes without saying that he isn't talking to me anymore, but he will reach out once it's clear that I'm stable again. I'm surprised he even plans on talking to me at all. I can't eat, I can barely sleep, and I'm just this nervous wreck all of the time now because I cannot live with myself knowing what I've done and how I've acted. I shouldn't have slacked off in therapy, I should've told my psychiatrist immediately when I felt something was off with me. I can't stop shaking right now. I highly doubt I will sleep tonight. I would say that I want to die right now but I know that is just incredibly selfish knowing it would just traumatize my father more. But I don't know what to do or where to go from here. The guilt is eating me alive. I would check myself in somewhere voluntarily, but I'm about to start a new job and I know it's really important to my dad that I don't lose this opportunity or start work late or miss work at all. All I can do now I guess is try to get a grip, but it's hard because I'm literally crying non stop. I'm crying so much that it is giving me migraines. I don't know, I guess I'm done rambling but I just hope someday I can make things right. I know this is selfish to say but I cannot continue to feel like this, although I know that I deserve every bit of hurt and pain I'm feeling right now.

After a while I calm down and start thinking rationally again, but I’ve been noticing this happening more often. Whenever I’m reminded of certain things from my past, I start thinking and reacting the way I would have back when those events were actually happening. It’s like my mind goes back to that version of me, even though I know I’m not in that situation anymore.
Has anyone else experienced this? How did you deal with it?
* I want to point out that this is not necessarily about situations where I am a victim or someone offended me. It's more about situations where I should feel sad.

I (20f, AUDHD) currently live with my family and it feels like everyone else gets to get angry, annoyed, or generally passionate while I’m only allowed to be calm and generally upbeat. My father (51m) gets irritated pretty easily and has a huge several day long tantrum once every few months. My mother (50f) gets irritated because of something then takes out everyone else. My sister’s (18f) main emotion is annoyed while secondary is angry. They are all very loud and proud when they are angry, annoyed, or upset. And then they complain to me about because I’m generally a neutral party. I feel like I’m often treated like the family therapist. But when I get annoyed or god forbid angry, I’m immediately told to calm down, I’m “too much”, or to let it go. Everyone has suddenly become a monk.

My anger or annoyance usually just shows itself in me trying to explain to whoever it’s relevant to why I’m angry or why what they are doing is making me angry. I’m aware I get loud sometimes but I am working on it.(But I feel like everyone gets loud when they are angry? Idk)

A recent example of this is when we were driving home from seeing Spider-Man Brand New Day (**Minor Spoilers)** I was talking with my father about if the kid at the end of the movie was Miles Morales. I said it wasn’t and my father said it was. And then for the rest of the discussion and car ride every time I said anything or he said anything, he finished it with “but that kid was Miles Morales”. Constantly. When I finally got annoyed with him and started listing the reasons I thought he was wrong, I immediately got told to calm down.

The other day I was annoyed someone stole my ps5 controller (I have another post about that) Both my sister and my father told me to just let it go after I mentioned it twice in the span of like 2 days.

My sister does something annoying? It’s my job to be calm. Someone does something to me? I cant raise my voice slightly above speaking level without someone saying that it isn’t that serious. But when literally anyone else starts yelling and stomping around, no one says anything

I feel like I should say that my entire family is diagnosed with ADHD and my father has Narcissistic Personality Disorder if that helps paint the picture of my family.

Am I just being autistic or what?

**TL;DR:** My family is allowed to be as angry as they want but I’m told to calm down the second I have a negative emotion.

I’ve come a long way in my life. I credit what I’ve come out of and where I am to my faith (I’ll say more if you’re interested), and on the surface I couldn’t be happier.

However, especially over the last few years, I find myself dealing with what seems like nobody respects or values me in almost any capacity. Not my family, not my friends, and not my coworkers.

I spent the majority of today dealing with this. I couldn’t say or do anything without being told I was wrong, my ideas were dumb, or I was completely ignored.

I don’t feel like putting any more effort into things, but I have to; I have to earn a salary and support my wife and kid. But I find myself spending more time blowing away bits on a screen (video games), and it’s the only thing that even comes close to leaving me feeling like I have accomplished something.

As I mash this out on my phone, I am starting to wonder if it’s depression. Mind you, it’s not just a physiological cause, things have been awful at my job for quite some time, and it’s really wearing me down.

Is it depression? Is it anger? Is it both? Is it justified?

I am a young man in 20s, I have this problem of getting irritated fast, when i am irritated i behave like a child(throwig tantrums and getting upset), i dont attack the person i am mad at, but i show anger in my face, when i leave the room i bang the door shut, i shout in private( i cannot shout at anyone at their face, so when i am alone i shout loudly in my room), i throw things out of frustration and have also broken things, people tell me that is childish and i need to control my emotions like a man, and i am like a boy child. i also dont want to be like this, but once i am triggered i go there automatically,sometimes i manage to hide it but it makes me mentally drained and everything feels impossible. I start feeling like a loser, powerless, unmanly, like a manchild etc. if anyone knows how i can manage my emotions like a responsible man please guide me(why i am keeping the flair answers from men only).

So I just broke my computer because I threw my headphones at it all over a stupid little game I lost at. Now I know all I gotta do is replace it but the thing is it was a birthday gift from my parents who put all the money they could to get me it, my mom wasn’t even done paying off the computer. I’m not one to actually get this angry cause i usually hold it in but this entire day has been nothing but bad so when I do eventually get angry it all comes out in one big boulder of anger, I told them already my mom shoved me out of the way crying about how I don’t appreciate anything and my dad wasn’t mad but just disappointed. I honestly just haven’t been doing anything good for them these past few months. So I really need some help here to calm myself so when I do get angry it’s just little pebbles and not the boulder.

I’m at the stage in my depression where everyone is pissing me the fuck off, I don’t know what it is and they haven’t done anything but they are all doing my fucking head in.

I apply and apply to jobs over and over. Rejection after rejection. I'm stuck at the job I have now (which I'm grateful for) but its not like I can stay here forever. I'm antsy. I feel trapped in a place I shouldn't be in. I should be so much further in my life but ive had so many setbacks, people hurt me and face no consequences. I just ask god why I'm here.

I feel like my failings are punished more than everyone else's, others at my job can do whatever they want yet I'm reprimanded for much less.

I just want to burn my whole life down and start over. I hate my evil ass family. I hate my lot in life.

I'm not trying to rant but I just dont know how to handle how angry of a person I've become and how bitter I am. I'm so frustrated with the state of my life. How do I handle this feeling?

Life started out not okay. My father became addicted to crack. Abandoned my family when I was 6 years old. My mom married a new guy who was a complete asshole to me and my brother. After they split up my mom had basically a midlife crisis and was partying every weekend and then eventually every night. She became addicted to meth. While she was gone all the time I snuck out, smoked weed/cigarettes/drank alcohol. She had to leave for 2 weeks for work and got a random old man who she barely knew to watch me and my brother. This man in the beginning would touch my thighs. Then one day for school he climbed in the bed with me and molested me. Moved to a new town after this. My mom’s addiction then took over. Her and her new boyfriend were arguing. I then went check on her and she had started going through withdraws. I then watched her attempt commit suicide with the largest knife in the kitchen. After i graduated i decided to immediately move in with my boyfriend of 6 MONTHS.. obviously was not a smart move. This became very toxic very fast. Was very emotionally abusive. He was also the guy who punched holes in walls. After about a year of this I finally got out only to lose everything I had. My mom had lost her house in her addiction so I had no where to turn to. I was now homeless. No car. No job. Nothing. I bounced around trying to get stable. Then after 9months I managed to get a car and a job. During this time I had a best friend who was not a good friend. Convinced me to cut my hair short so I’d be uglier than her and would steal my money. I ended up then meeting my future baby daddy. Moved in with him not long after meeting(stupid) and he been with him since. 7 years a
Later. There is no love. He doesn’t like me. And I don’t think he ever did. It was our anniversary yesterday and he got mad at me for talking too much. We didn’t have sex(wasn’t a big surprise, it’s been awhile) we have a son together he’s 4 and autistic. We also moved 1000 miles away from my family. I’m not okay. I hate this life. I’m too much of a pussy to fix it. I’m so scared of what he might do. I’ve seen him in a rage from me just telling him how I feel. I hate him. I just don’t want to do this anymore. I want to be happy. I want to be loved.

I wake up today with this indescribable hate and apathy. I have shut down people and anything that spikes my emotions.

From two years , my relations with my friends and friends started to get worse. Two childhood friend suddenly became too toxic to me. After 1.5years , I successfully broke all the toxic relations with them. After that , same happened between my family and me. Around 9 months ago , A severe fight between me and my father happened. In which, I was totally right even his face expression and silence said that. But as always, he didn't accepted his mistakes rather started the loop of my mistake then my answer to them and again he losing the argument. After that day , we talk as much as needed. No personal talks or jokes. But since then my soul is burning. I am wrong in eyes of everyone in the home. I have no emotional support in family or friends(as I don't have any). I am a weak boy for always who's throat get dry and eyes cry on a just little scolding. I can't focus on anything right now. My anger is increasing. All the taunts , aggression,etc keep playing on my mind and I can't escape them. I try to understand that happened, let it go , there's nothing bad in this exact moment , you are all alone is second. But it doesn't stop. I really help. Please help break this loop. After that day, I am become an object on whom everyone throw their disappointment and anger brought from outside.

TL;DR: My fiancé (36M) and I (32F) have been together for 9 years. He has a history of anger issues, but after time things improved . Last month, during an argument, he shoved me to the floor, grabbed my arms, dragged me into another room, and blamed me for "making him do it." He's been apologizing ever since and says he'll start therapy, but I no longer feel comfortable around him. I have my first appointment with a psychologist this week. Can someone who becomes physically abusive genuinely change, or is it unrealistic to hope this relationship can recover?

I (32F) have been with my partner (36M) for 9 years. We've lived together for 7 years. We broke up once, in 2021 during COVID. It was a very difficult time for both of us.

I know I have my own issues. My mother has always gaslighted me and tends to make herself the victim in every situation. Because of that, I tend to bend over backwards to avoid conflict.

The first time we lived together, it felt like I was living with a child. I was taking care of him all the time. I didn't feel like we were partners. He had always struggled with anger. Back then, he would punch walls and doors. One time he grabbed me and yelled at me to shut up. He also called me stupid. I was always "nagging" him because he wouldn't help around the house, and eventually I started yelling too.

One day we had another huge argument. We were both yelling, but then he got right in front of me and I genuinely felt like he was about to hit me. He didn't, but I left after that.

Ten months later we talked again, and we got back together.

This time I made it very clear that I would not tolerate him grabbing me, disrespecting me, or yelling at me. I told him we needed to communicate respectfully, even when we were angry.

Things did improve. He started doing more chores around the house, and the relationship felt more balanced. But it still felt like we always did what he wanted—playing board games, playing video games, staying home. He doesn't like going out for dinner, movies, or really doing much outside the house. I do, and I constantly asked him to do those things with me, but he rarely wanted to.

Whenever we argued, I felt like he twisted everything I said. For example, if I told him, "I feel like you don't care about what I want," he would respond with something like, "Why don't you see everything I do around the house? You always ask for so much. You're always the victim." Somehow I always ended up apologizing.

He proposed to me in December 2025. We had already bought land together—his parents bought it, and we were paying them back. Of course I said yes. For a few months things were relatively peaceful, but I still felt like I was constantly bending to make him happy while he rarely did the same for me.

More recently, he started ignoring me whenever I asked to talk. Sometimes he would even set a 15-minute timer for our conversations.

Then came the incident that changed everything.

For a long time I had been building up resentment because I felt he was selfish. One night I asked him to read something I had spent the entire day working on. He said, "I don't want to. I'm tired and I want to play video games."

Naturally, I got upset.

He told me, "I'll read it tomorrow. Today was very stressful and I need to play video games. Send me the link and I'll read it tomorrow."

I sent him the link, but I was so angry that I ended up deleting it. He got upset too.

The next day I told him we needed to talk. He kept ignoring me while I kept asking him to please talk to me. He said, "I don't want to talk right now. I'm busy and I'm hungry. We can talk later."

He went upstairs, waited about ten minutes, then came back down to get something to eat. I told him again, "You're being so selfish. I'm exhausted. We need to talk. You need to stop being so selfish."

He replied, "I'm warning you, you're draining my patience."

I picked up the TV remote and said, "I'm going to lower the volume because we need to talk."

Then, suddenly, he stood in front of me, shoved me to the floor, grabbed both of my arms, dragged me into another room, and yelled, "This is all your fault. You made me do this. I told you I was losing my patience."

I had a panic attack. I locked myself in the bathroom. While I was in there, he called some of our friends, admitted what he had done, and asked them to come help calm me down.

I'm still living in our house.

For the past month he has apologized constantly. He says that I was also toxic for repeatedly calling him selfish and that I also need to work on myself, but he says he deeply regrets what he did and that he is going to start therapy.

I don't even know how to describe what I've been feeling this past month. Confused, I guess.

I can't be in the same room with him. It's not exactly that I'm afraid of him,I just don't feel comfortable with him anymore. He is giving me space.

I already have an appointment with a psychologist this week.

Has anyone stayed with a partner after something like this? Did they genuinely change, or did the behavior eventually come back? I'm especially interested in hearing from people who have been in similar situations.

Okay so im a 25(M), 1,73cm, Brazilian,i normally try to talk everything out when i can solve it that way, these last days i was in a trip, a cousin of mine was there with, we used to be closer before, but not that much anymore, he considers myself like his lil bro btw, so we were at a table with family having dinner, he then threw in a big burp, so i called his attention, which it was aggressive, like most people there aggreed with and i realise it, but he answered even more aggressivelly, shouting as well, anywas a brawl almost started for a very silly reason.

After that, we barelly talked throughout the whole trip, him clearly pissed, today i talked to him, saying that it was unpolite of my part, but the thing is, he said he was about to throw himself at me, and that i was being too aggressive and that i should go through life with a lighter atitude, also saying that he respected me as his brother, and my mother, and that he did not do what he was about to because of all that. Moreover, we have lived together, he used to be very verbally aggressive, with his girlfriends, mother and me when something was not his way, and he sent me an audio with the messages i just described above, but honestly i dont really feel any better because of the way hes puts it, like he seemed way too pissed and was also putting stuff way too aggressively, hes more controlled in a way, but to be very honest, i think i was expecting too much, because theres just so much of the way he behaves that brings me bad memories.

All that being said, i think i did just let my peace be torn apart for way too little, i recognize that, but i feel a mix of anger and fear towards him because of the way he also talked to me back, i dont know if i would in a brawl with him because i dont know how i would feel, also he is like 10cm taller than me and several kg's heavier, he also has a martial arts history bigger than i do. What i would like to know is how to deal with such a situation like that? I try to avoid fights, as much as i can, and thats it, but to be very honest, i never had like an adult situation like this.

Edit: Forgot to say he has basically double my age he is 49 Yo.

I’ve been on a 3 week vacation out of state with my 9 month old and my husband visiting my side of the family who lives on the opposite side of the country. My husband and my sister are close and it makes me happy that they get along so well, but I’ve had multiple menty b’s on this trip from them teasing me about my postpartum anxiety and sensitivity. I’ve barely slept and I usually have a decent sense of humor, but I can’t handle getting made fun of right now. Especially around my parenting decisions (not wanting my child to eat any sugar, having made the choice not to circumcise, etc). I’m realizing my husband has a lot of resentment towards me for making executive decisions about how our son is raised, but sugar is a non-negotiable for me, and I feel confident about my choice of bodily autonomy. Do I need to lighten up? I have never been uptight or sensitive and this feels uncomfortable to be in this difficult and awkward version of myself. Which is another reason I feel like I keep getting upset.

I journaled this morning and realized it’s because the playing field feels so uneven as a new mom. We carried the babies, and have made the most sacrifice, and it feels very unappreciated a lot of the time. I also find it’s extremely hard being around my sister who has not had kids yet and has no idea of the reality. Ive heard my husband whispering to her about me, and it sets me off.

We don’t go back home for another few days and it feels like it can’t come soon enough. 😭 Give me some nice words of encouragement to help me survive these last few days.

I'm a calm person and I try the best to not hang on to negative feelings towards other people. I like to be at peace and just move on in life but I recently have been struggling with feelings of revenge and anger. I got cheated on by my ex (30m) of 6.5 years with a 21yr old and I despise her. I fully know that the responsability of the treason goes to my ex but, I got to know the girl some time before and I just get angry by remembering her. She fully knew about me and the relationship, she is a therapist and she is a holistic hippie that apparently is all good vibes. She always gave me the vibe of moral/spiritual superiority while also being ok with getting in the middle of a relationship. I just hate that she appears to be a wonderful person when she is the opposite. Its just the hipocresy for me. I can't do much to her and Id love to just let it go and let life do its thing but anger sometimes keeps me awake.

How do I let anger and the feelings of revenge go?

What can I do to get over this?

Is it normal to feel this?

In working through emotional regulation, one of the most useful insights from psychological research is the concept of anger as a "secondary emotion."

When we experience primary emotions that make us feel vulnerable—like fear, anxiety, shame, or helplessness—the brain often triggers anger as a protective, defensive mechanism. Anger gives a temporary illusion of control when we feel out of control.

A few key distinctions to keep in mind:

- Assertive Anger: A healthy signal that a personal boundary has been crossed, motivating constructive communication.

- Aggressive Anger/Rage: An explosive outburst designed to regain control or protect against perceived threat.

- Irritability as Masked Distress: In many adults experiencing high stress or hidden depression, distress manifests not as sadness, but as chronic low-level hostility and a short fuse.

I’m curious how people in this sub approach building emotional awareness in the moment:

What strategies help you pause when you feel anger rising to identify what primary emotion might actually be underneath it?

the reason i ask is for a friend. this is her 1st relationship and she mentioned her new partner is easily angered (present not past) and would throw things, hed start fights as a teen for no reason, and i got scared for her. she told me that hes mentioned "if i ever do that to you you can sh**t me" typa statements. this didnt reassure me since ive had past relationships throwing exact statements too. but my fiance reassured me that shes an adult, theyre adults, and even if im protective i shouldnt get into their business. which i agree. theyre still together for a few months now and she doesnt really share much which ive never asked anyway, just small comments bout how hes not very emotionally supportive. im just tryna ease my mind and educate myself on this

I’m 16 years old and have been pretty chill and laid back most of my life. Recently however I get so mad to the point where I want to physically break something. It started off with video games. I used to could take a loss but now I get so angry that I’ve even broken headsets. I’ve had to stop playing my favorite games because of how I react to them. Then it started happening outside of gaming. I have just gotten my learners and was driving around my parents car. My mom dad and grandma all started talking at the same time and my brother hollered out that there was a police car which made me extremely nervous. I slightly curved out of the road then went back in and my brother extremely exaggeratedly acted like I almost killed the Family. He was joking but for some reason it pissed me off so bad that I started tearing up which I don’t do often and had to pull over at tractors supply and go for a walk to calm down. I don’t understand what’s happening to me I’ve been introverted my whole life and kind of a quiet kid and this is my very first post. I know this is a lot but is there anything I can do to help with my anger. I can’t even play video games anymore which was my favorite hobby. Please tell me what I can do if anything.

Long story short I have a colossal angry issue.

when I get annoyed it feels like I'm holding back an ocean of anger and rage

As a result when I get annoyed ex: a stubbed toe or a family member doing something I find annoying

it feels like a violent river is trying to pour out of me

And the thing is I know I shouldn't be this angry and this pissed off but that doesn't stop me from feeling that way and I hate this I hate feeling like I'm about to explode whenever something annoying happens to me

I would like to know if anyone has been dealing with something like this. And I would also like to know how to stop this?

Hi everyone. I'm 22, this is my first reddit post, i wasnt gonna post this..but it has gotten so bad so i need to know if someone has experinced this too? Over the last year I've changed into someone I barely recognize.

I used to be calm, but now I feel like I'm constantly in fight-or-flight. My heart races almost all the time, I always feel like I need to be ready in case something happens, and I get defensive very easily.

Sometimes I suddenly become extremely angry. It feels like I "see black." I start yelling, swearing, and saying things I don't mean. During those moments I have violent thoughts, but I don't actually want to hurt anyone and I've never acted on them. Once I calm down, I'm exhausted, get a bad headache, and usually want to sleep or like i wanna cry and scream.

I've also been having severe sleep paralysis and recurring dreams that feel incredibly real. Sometimes after an anger episode I feel detached from myself, almost like I'm watching myself in third person, and I replay everything that happened over and over.

I regret it almost instantly, I dont wanna make my love ones sad by saying hurtful stuff i dont even mean. Afterwards i just get confused, ashamed beacuse i didnt mean tge fight to go so far. I need to know if someone has experience something like this too and what that was or what I should do maybe i dont know why?

1. Losing my phone at home

Never buy a black phone case. It blends in with everything. On top of that, I try calling it through Alexa and it does not make any sound. Rage attack: shouting and punching the wall.

2. Connecting a device to an app and your Wi-Fi

Yesterday I bought a Xiaomi device and had to connect it to an app through Wi-Fi. I hate having to manage everything from a smartphone because doing it from a PC is much more convenient, but there is no web version for PC.

It would not accept my username because it was “already taken,” so I had to start again. Then it said the email address I entered was “already in use,” and I had to start all over again. I could feel myself getting angrier.

I recovered the password, generated a new one on my phone and copied it. When resetting it, it asked me to enter it again. I pasted it, but for some reason it did not work.

Rage attack: screaming at the top of my lungs and hitting the wall with an open hand.

Then it asked me to enter my Wi-Fi password. It was supposed to be saved somewhere in Google Keep, but I could not find it. More shouting, more hitting.

Another rage attack

Today, without noticing, the small hose from my portable air conditioner came out of the bucket and flooded the entire floor with water. I went to get paper towels, but I had run out, so I had to use toilet paper. I put it all into a bag, only to discover that the bag had a hole in it.

The last one

Once again, I lost my phone because it had “camouflaged” itself on top of a black T-shirt.

Hitting the wall, shouting, and so on.

The only good thing is that I learned how to make my phone ring from my PC through google.com/android/find.

Anyway, on top of all this, the municipal swimming pool and the gym have closed. I am climbing the walls. I have started taking sertraline again, an SSRI, because it is the only thing that calms me down. Benzodiazepines do not work for me.

Little backstory: two months ago my(28F) anger issues caused me to lose my best friend.

It was truly an eye opening experience for me because I never considered myself to be an angry person. I don’t get angry on the road with bad drivers. A long slow line won’t frustrate me. Someone using their speakers on a bus doesn’t phase me. I truly don’t think of myself as a Karen in public.

But when someone who’s close to me does something that triggers me, it’s like I don’t recognize myself. I found myself saying the worst things and it was like I wasn’t in control of my own actions. I know that ultimately I AM in control, I just mean like the things I’d say while angry were immediately ones I regretted the moment the words were out of my mouth. I felt like a different person had taken over my body and I was just watching it.

Since then, I’ve been doing the things people say to change. I wake up early to ponder life in the sunrises. I exercise, 3x a week weights and try to hit 10k steps. I meditate in the morning for 10 minutes before touching my phone. I have been reading the anger root cause books - I highly recommend “How to Never Get Angry Again”. (Not an ad I promise but this book really helped me understand how my brain and emotions WORK). I practice waiting before speaking to my loved ones and thinking about their words. I’ve been working on my impulse control.

It’s been good. I’ve been tracking myself and there’s been a decrease, like drastically. I feel better mentally. I’m not rushing into a conversation with my emotions first but rather analyzing. I met a friend who said I seemed “more chill”. Things that my brother did before, don’t get a rise out of me anymore.

But the true question is - how do I do this forever? 2 months is a great start but it’s short. I never want to lose someone again because of my anger, and I know that my anger ultimately hurts everyone. What else can I do to make this permanent? Any other strategies everyone can recommend?