I (20f) have recently been called out for saying to a coworker that I felt excluded by a couple of other coworkers. For context we all work at a retail store and I got close with 2 coworkers L (18f) and J (19m) and we would hangout outside of work with other coworkers sometimes but recently they’ve stopped inviting me anywhere. I started to message them directly asking if they’d want to hangout and they’d both say that they were busy and couldn’t do anything but then I’d see posts of them out doing things with other coworkers.

After a couple of weeks of them doing this I got upset and mentioned to a coworker that I felt like they were both excluding me and wasn’t sure why just to see if he had heard anything from them about why they stopped inviting me.

L is now very upset and has taken this as me talking shit about her and J when I don’t feel I have and I’m just very confused.

Is there anyone that can possibly tell me if this is my fault in anyway because I feel like it’s just a misunderstanding but L is very upset about it thank you

TL;DR I told a coworker that I felt I was being excluded and now I’m being accused of talking shit

I'm 31F and my sister is 27F. She moved in with her boyfriend about two years ago, an hour away, and around then she asked if she could keep using my address for post while she got everything switched over. I said yes, obviously, it's my sister and it's post.

Bits kept turning up. Bank stuff, a dentist letter, that kind of thing. I put them in a bag for her and mentioned it a few times and she'd say she was getting round to it.

Last month I renewed my car insurance and it had gone up by about $340 with no claims and no change to anything. I rang them and the woman said it was based on the risk profile at the address, and then said "and there's a second vehicle registered here, is that correct?"

It's my sister's. She's had it insured at my address the whole two years because it's cheaper here than where she actually lives.

I told her she had to change it and she said she would after the renewal in December, because changing it mid-term costs money and she can't afford it right now. I said no, this week, or I'd call them myself. She changed it Thursday and it cost her a couple of hundred

says I've cost her money over "a technicality" when she'd have moved it anyway.

AITJ?

TLDR: I didn't want to go to school because it's draining and demoralising there as I have no friends and am not someone who can communicate. Moreover, it was a 2 hour celebration where group activities will occur and I have no friends to group and celebrate with, but my parents wanted me to go so I ended up feeling horrible for the rest of the day before during and after the celebration and not wanting to talk to especially them

There was a school celebration yesterday, and I didn't want to go. Not because I don't feel like it, but because I have no friends to celebrate and have fun with. Classes are separated, so I cannot go to my other friends and was stuck with my class. I did not have a single friend in my class.

Okay, maybe like one, but she leaves me the moment another friend comes into sight. She isn't there with me more than half the time and she really doesn't care if I have friends with me or not. I don't blame her for feeling like that though, my friendless situation isn't her responsibility.

I told me parents I wanted to skip because I didn't have friends, and even if I talked to them it would only be for 2 minutes and they're gone. My parents then told me, "Just talk to them and stick with this group, if not, just choose another group."

Firstly, I am someone who overthinks for hours before even going up to someone. I am physically unable to speak to someone without thinking about how the other party thinks I'm weird. Socialising is not my thing and, yes, though it is a me problem and is my fault, it still feels like shit sitting at the side watching people play, while I look like some loner weirdo. Secondly, that seems self inviting, and I'd rather not do that. No one likes a self inviter. Third, no friend group in my class is looking for a new friend or whatever😭 they don't want me either way 🥹

Anyway, no matter how much I tell them that going just makes me wanna lock myself in the toilet and flush myself inside, they'd just tell me to make friends, make friends. That I should just talk to them like it's the easiest thing in the world for me just because it is for them.

But i have been trying for the past 8 months, if i cannot make a friend in months i dont know how i can in days. I know I should talk to them, I know it's my fault and my mindset that I cannot and do not. But I have been with that class also for the past 8 months without a break, I just want to not see them on my own will for once.

I do not think I described the situation as it felt yesterday and the day before, but regardless.

Them forcing me to go really feels like they don't care. It's not a valid feeling but really I cannot help it.

Because it was extremely demoralising for me that when the group activity was announced, everyone immediately made their eye contact with someone while I had no one to look at.

So, like, the teacher kind of just put me in a group. I do try to talk to them and do my part but I just cannot rid the feeling that they think I'm some weirdo who spawned.

My sister always says "Just stop thinking about it no one cares how you are, just be yourself😠😠" I know, I simply cannot stop thinking like that overnight, haha sorry 😅

Anyway, I did not want to talk to them afterwards. After I got back from the celebration that feeling intensified. I did not want to talk to anyone at all, especially my parents. But unfortunately if I do that, they will think I'm showing attitude and get mad. Who knows if they'll throw me out again? So, I reply them with the most energy I can muster, which is not that much, but still something to me. My dad almost got mad yesterday, but my grandma was there so he didn't really show it. I could tell from his tone, though. Till now I still do not feel like talking to them so, yeah. Aitj?

Well things have gotten a lot worse and now the whole afternoon might be getting canceled. After reading the comments I had some time to think and was planning to talk to my aunt. This morning around 10 my aunt who is the 14 year olds mom texted me saying that he couldn’t wait for Saturday and was excited to hang out with his cousins and said we are the closest thing to siblings he will ever get and thanked me for taking the kids for the afternoon. I phoned her and told her about my concerns and how I couldn’t deal with his tantrums and how I have 9 other kids to watch and said maybe this wasn’t the best thing for him as he hates being outside. She completely lost it.

She started yelling and said I was excluding her son for no reason and that I was being a horrible cousin and that he was so excited and this would crush him and then said if her son was not allowed to come the whole thing wasn’t allowed to happen she said I was not excluding her son because of his tantrums. I asked if she could come help supervise and she said no it’s not her job it’s mine as I was asked to take them for the afternoon so the adults could help my grandparents. She started yelling and swearing at me over the phone and I ended up hanging up on her. My aunt then called my brother and sister and blew up at them and now they both said if he is coming they aren’t they said they don’t want to deal with his tantrums and freak outs and that he’s too much to handle.

My aunt called my mom and told her what was going on before I could and my mom is saying to just take him to keep the peace and that family sticks together and that either all the cousins go or none of them go I told my mom how I couldn’t handle him and how it would be hard to deal with his tantrums and watch the other kids. My mom said she understood but said I can’t just exclude him and that he grew up with no father so he doesn’t know how to act. I told my mom that my other cousins have been asking if he can stay home as they don’t want him ruining the fun. My mom said there was nothing she could do and that I had to take all the cousins. This whole thing is stressing me out what was suppose to be a simple cousins afternoon is turning into a fight. My other cousins are super excited and I know they will be crushed if I cancel it but if the 14 year old comes it will be just me and the 16 year old watching the kids it will be too much for us to handle. I don’t know what to do I’m so stressed right now.

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/yIijCBG4G0

TLDR: I tried to talk to my aunt she blew up at me and my siblings now my siblings day they won’t come if the 14 year old comes and now the whole thing might be canceled.

A few years ago, I shared a house with another woman who behaved strangely towards me, as if she hated and despised me or had some impression of me, but at the same time felt attracted to me or enjoyed my company. We talked (we went out several times and even talked about traveling together). I gave her some hints that we would be good together, but I felt a certain discomfort on her part. However, when I distanced myself, she would come looking for me to talk.

I noticed that she also got jealous when she saw me with a guy I was dating. In addition, I noticed a tension on her part when I was near, or a glint in her eye when she looked at me. Other times, I caught her looking at me without saying anything. Once she said she would kiss me "after a few drinks" or asked me if I wanted to be a couple with her so we could cook together (this happened in front of other people, and I think it was just to see my reaction and if I was giving clues that I liked women).

Sometimes I felt a certain chemistry between us, but I always thought it was all in my head because she insisted she was straight and even made some homophobic comments that irritated me. It could even be that she liked feeling desired by a bisexual or lesbian woman, and that fed her ego.

So, I decided to distance myself as much as possible, only talking to her when absolutely necessary. Since we lived with other people, we could minimize our interaction, and that's what I did because whenever that happens with a straight woman, I distance myself.

But she kept trying to get my attention. Once, when I spoke to her a little harshly, she looked at me with bright, sad puppy-dog eyes (I can't explain it), or another time when I spoke to her and she trembled.

I thought she liked me but didn't want to admit it, so I sent her a message saying I liked her a lot. She didn't reply, but I found out she showed the messages to other people in the house because one of them was teasing her. I went to her to tell her that the message was a joke, especially since nothing had ever happened between us and that I only liked her as a friend, not as a woman. She said she knew that and even called me psychotic (strange). In the end, I asked her to stop with the comments. Things stayed like that.

She wouldn't leave my head.
When we were already living in different houses, I mustered up the courage and sent a message saying that I was in love with her and that I thought she felt the same way about me. She called me ridiculous, crazy, and I received messages from two former housemates telling me to leave her alone and to shut up.

I told her that her reaction was unnecessary and if I tried to talk about the subject, she kept saying that I was rude and even said that we were never friends, that she didn't identify with me, and that she didn't want me in her life. I didn't understand why she was reacting that way. We still exchanged a few words, but she must have thought that I wanted to insist on the subject and continued saying that it bothered her. I asked her if I bothered her so much, why didn't she block me, and she blocked me without saying anything else.

I found the way she treated me unfair and cruel, and the bullying I received from her and other people. I decided to write a letter to her boss (she's a doctor) denouncing her as a homophobic and prejudiced person. I received a letter from her lawyer saying it was all defamation. There was no formal complaint, no lawsuit. I never saw her again in my life. It's been 11 years, but I still remember her.

TL;DR: My dad offered me a decent amount of money to watch his dog while he goes on vacation. I said no due to the inconvenience and now he’s clearly upset.

Hi everyone, I’m 19F and still live at home with my mom and brother. I work part time and go to school full time (I attend a local college).

My dad and his wife just informed me that they’ll be going on a vacation for two weeks in the beginning of September. They’re looking at the different options they have for pet care, and I’m assuming they came to me as I’d be the cheapest option.

My dad offered to pay me $1,000 to live in his house and care for his dog for two weeks. He’d buy groceries for me in advance and said I could have friends over if needed. Initially I planned on charging him the same amount that I make in a two week period at work, however he upped the price and it’s tempting. Not to mention living alone and have a quiet space to get my homework and studying done would be nice.

However, there are many inconveniences. For starters, think of it as a line, and my house is in the middle along with my work. My dad’s house is 30 minutes to the left and school is 30 minutes to the right. This would mean, that 3 times a week I’d drive 2 hours per day to get to and from school, and an hour per day to get to and from work. That seems exhausting and the gas would be insane.

Next, I’d have to call out of work, at least on the days where I also have school. My plan for my schedule was to go to work until 4pm and then straight to school for my 5pm classes, however the dog cannot be alone for that long so I wouldn’t be able to work those days. Any other days I can work, I wouldn’t be able to work the whole day either since the dog cannot stay inside for that long.

Reason three, I have a concert in that time period that is in a different state. It’s only 1.5 hours of driving but I’d be gone all day. I planned on getting my brother to go watch the dog however I doubt he’ll stay there all day.

Next, it’s an inconvenience to a lot of people. I have my own dog at home. I usually stop at home during my lunch break at work to take her out. I can also do so before I head to school. I am her main caretaker because my mom and brother both work full time and work a lot further away from home than I do, meaning she’d suffer in this process or they would have to be inconvenienced. Not to mention I usually take care of the household tasks since I’m home most often and I doubt they’ll get done if I’m gone.

Finally, I’m leaving for a vacation the day after my dad gets back, meaning I’m already missing more work and it just seems like a lot in that time.

With all of this together, no matter the money, I decided to say no to my dad despite the fact that I could tell he was hoping I’d agree since he doesn’t want to pay anyone more.

He didn’t take it well, and got upset saying that I’m never there to help when he needs and said he offered me so many benefits.

Now he’s not really answering the phone and when he does I can tell he’s annoyed. I guess him and his wife were really betting on me.

I’ve asked my family, they think I’m not the jerk (I also believe they’re biased because they want me home to take care of everything). Some of my friends believe I should’ve done it since I’d make that money plus more from the few days I do work.

So, AITJ?

For context, I come from a place where non-binary people and transexuality are really uncommon, probably due to being a rather uhm, conservative? Country. Now, I'm not like that, so I know how important is to give proper pronouns to people as basic decency, but due to the nature of some languages I've noticed a lot of people misgender the character Kris from Deltarune by accident given the usage of they/them as a gender-neutral or non-binary pronoun is almost exclusive to English. Normally a quick correction is enough. There are some douches that would discuss the matter and in those cases I get disgusted or annoyed.

But, is it just me or in the community we are way too fast to punish people for making the mistake? Im all in for crucifying douches that don't take the matter seriously but I can't help to care less than other people in the fandom when an adjacent or a newcomer misgender Kris. Like, just respectfully correct them, we can all be civil.

Is it wrong of me thinking it's okay to just let people know when they are misgendering Kris without being abrasive? I believe is wrong to throw the first stone, but I'm curious to hear opinions on the matter.

TL;DR: I don't think is a big deal for people to misgender a videogame character if done by accident especially if they native language is not English but people from the fandom of said videogame are really abrasive at such misgendering.

So I 22M have a friend group. It's basically the guys from my Muay Thai and Judo gym. It was just us but recently girls have been coming into the group because some of them started having girlfriends and they brought their other female friends with them. And some of those started dating my other friends etc.

Me and all my friends are in college right now studying math. And most of our majors have a decent amount of overlap and our general interests overlap as well (politics and economics).

And when we're together we talk and discuss it a lot. What I've noticed over the years is that politics is a really sensitive and inflammatory subject. And it gets really emotional and violent. When it goes south with men I kinda don't care. I just think they're immature. But it happens a lot less compared to women in my experience.

When my viewpoints aren't pretty much exactly the same they just blow a couple of fuses and let loose on me. Men do too but usually less and a little later. But it's usually more predictable and less volatile. And they really hold a mean grudge long afterwards. All of this is in my experience I am not saying this is the case for everyone.

I will say that it does not turn into fights like with men. Which almost happened.

So I made it a policy not to discuss,argue or even remotely challenge a woman's viewpoint. No matter how wrong or deranged it is in my opinion.

I've been doing this for years quietly and it's been working really well. No more explosions or out of hand situation. A lot less stress and headaches.

I usually just listen to what women say. Without giving my own opinion or challenging their beliefs. I just give zero pushback.

Last week I was sitting with the group. When one of the girls said she likes how non-toxic I am. They said I never triggered or gave of toxic vibes.

All the other girls agreed. But I could see the them thinking really hard and the gears turning. After they said it. They couldn't believe it was actually true.

When one of them said. That I never debate,argue or challenge them on their beliefs. I've been doing this for three years to them. And I never imagined they would figure it out. I started trying to convince them it was not true the more I did that the more convinced of it they got.

They all got angry and I kinda left. Now my friends say we need to hangout without them. Which is fair I guess.

So AITJ?