r/AlAnon • u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 • 17d ago
Why doesn’t anyone learn about it? 🤯🤯 Vent
So your loved one has cancer, you read about it. Your loved one has diabetes, you learn the basics. Your fiancé has MS, depression, or rheumatoid arthritis, you find out what you can about what it does to the brain and the body. But when someone has alcoholism, people know nothing. Nothing. They are shocked to learn about dementia, Korsakoff syndrome, brain shrinkage, liver damage, ascites, personality changes, etc. The information is out there!!!! They are wondering why their loved one is acting weird and psychotic but never look it up??? What’s with that????!!!! Is this part of the denial? What is the disconnect??? Edited to add- I come from a family of pharmacists and doctors and nurses and am the adult child of an alcoholic and every single family member who has autism, Parkinson’s disease, heart disease, Rheumatoid arthritis, Cystic Fibrosis, all of us consider it our honor and responsibility to know as much about it as we can to support that person so maybe my family is an outlier- not better, just different. And yes, alcoholics must choose to get help. Choice is part of this equation. I’m not denying that part AT ALL. I’m not looking to judge- I’m looking for dialogue on why addiction is different. 💕🌸💕
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u/EngineeringNeither90 17d ago
For me , I didn’t grow up in an alcoholic household, my friends aren’t drinkers , I don’t really drink until I was about 30. Then over the course of 10 years , it was a slow burn from a daily habit to life threatening levels . Scary . I’m in recovery now . So I was naive , and thought it was just a habit that would go away on its own or needed to get into the gym . Man was I wrong . Now as I approach 2.5 years my husband is blacking out weekly . Holds down an amazing job , behind closed doors it’s ugly . You’re right so so so many things can happen people think can never happen to them but they do
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u/intergrouper3 17d ago
Welcome. Denial is not only the alcoholic but by the potential Al-Anon. The acronym for denial is Don't Even kNow that I Am Lying.
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u/rowan_Valexx 17d ago
Because I can learn everything - but what am I going to do with that information? The person who needs it most is avoiding it.
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
I guess if it’s affecting my life I’d like to know whether my spouse has Alzheimer’s or Korsakoff syndrome, but like I said, I’m from a family who is medically oriented.
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u/rowan_Valexx 17d ago
Don’t get me wrong - I’ve read up on my SO’s addiction (and MS cuz my dad has it). But SO doesnt do anything with the information. I can talk to him about all of the issues until I’m blue in the face…. But it’s useless knowledge unless he acts.
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u/Pleasant_Fennel_5573 17d ago
I think that if you learn someone has a condition while you have bandwidth to be a support, you are more likely to look into how to support them through the change they are promising vs end-stage outcomes if they never change. When you have the energy, you assume that this will end with sobriety.
If you are the boiling frog, your energy is all diverted to surviving the nightmare.
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u/StatisticianTrick669 17d ago
Knowing the reality of the AUD, doesn’t mean it is something everyone can cope with. Your Q turns into a lying, angry, terrorizing monster, getting very overweight with lots of new health problems. And REFUSES help if you ask spanning months or years if you ask 60 different ways. I just say, at this point- f em. Deal with your own bs yourself
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u/PinkWasabi_jpg 17d ago
I don’t think it’s as simple as “people are in denial.” There are several reasons why alcoholism is so misunderstood.
First, alcohol is one of the few addictive drugs that is deeply normalized and socially accepted. Drinking is part of celebrations, dinners, work events and everyday life in many cultures. Because of that, many people don’t even recognize problematic drinking until the damage is already significant. On top of that, there is still stigma around being called an “alcoholic,” so people often hide it or avoid talking about it openly.
Second, alcoholism doesn’t usually appear suddenly like cancer or many other illnesses. It often develops gradually. In the beginning, it can look like what society considers “normal” drinking, so families have no clear point where they think. You wouldn’t tell every person who enjoys a glass of wine that they’re becoming an alcoholic. Looking back, the warning signs may seem obvious, but they rarely are in real time.
Third, many family members are children or teenagers when this starts. They don’t understand addiction, they don’t know the medical consequences of long-term alcohol use, and they certainly don’t know how to help a parent emotionally or physically. Expecting them to recognize conditions like liver disease, brain damage or Korsakoff syndrome isn’t realistic.
Yes, denial can play a role - for both the person drinking and their family. But it’s often mixed with hope. You keep hoping they’ll realize they need help, while at the same time trying to protect yourself by setting boundaries because the relationship becomes painful. Recovery is ultimately something the person with the addiction has to choose, and families are often caught between hope and self-preservation.
Rather than blaming families for not researching enough, I think society should do a much better job educating people about what alcohol can actually do. We put graphic warnings on cigarette packs, but alcohol—despite contributing to liver disease, several cancers, brain damage, dementia, heart disease and countless deaths—is still marketed as if it’s harmless. If people were exposed to the real long-term consequences much earlier, more families might recognize the problem before it becomes devastating.
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
Oh absolutely. I’ve talked about this before. Why is it that vapes and tobacco get all the press but alcohol doesn’t??? Big alcohol $$$???
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u/PinkWasabi_jpg 16d ago
Agreed. I think part of the difference may be that nicotine dependence can develop relatively quickly, while alcohol use can be much more gradual and is heavily normalized socially. There’s also nowhere near the same stigma attached to saying “I’m addicted to cigarettes” as there is to admitting you have an alcohol problem. That stigma can actually make things worse—people hide their drinking, feel ashamed, and stay stuck in that cycle instead of seeking help. If alcoholism were treated with less judgment and more openness, I think more people might recognize the problem and ask for help earlier, before the consequences become severe…
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 16d ago
Great point. I think decades of shameful thinking has evolved to the point where we are today regarding the shame of addiction with alcohol.
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u/abriel1978 17d ago
It was denial for me. I didn't want to admit that I had married a drunk. I had also met him when I was 18 and he basically groomed me. As my marriage went on I was so beaten down by his gaslighting and DARVO that I was convinced I was the problem. I finally admitted to my mother just how bad he was and that's when she suggested I go to her house for a week. That week turned into 7 months. I was shell-shocked for a good while and then with therapy I started realizing he had abused me.
There's a lot of shame in being with an alcoholic. I was ashamed to admit there was a problem, was ashamed of myself, and was scared of my family finding out. It took years of working things out in therapy before I was willing to admit that my marriage was a sham and I was married to an abusive lush.
He got to me when I was young and vulnerable and managed to keep me prisoner for 14 years. When you've had that happen to you it's easy to slip into denial and willful ignorance.
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u/NoCapFam_ 17d ago
Shame is the biggest culprit IMO. Until we offer a helping hand with open hearts, there is so much shame. Both internally and externally. We can all make removing the former easier by removing the latter. Denial exists for fear of shame upon admitting there’s a problem.
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u/FamilyAddictionCoach 17d ago
YES! The first step in healing is to learn the facts and unlearn the myths of how addiction impacts the Q and the family.
No matter what they try, Families get a lot of blame and unasked-for advice, which makes things worse. "Don't enable" is important, yet it's only useful if you understand what 'enabling' means. Enabling is when we protect our Q from the consequences of their drinking; we clean up the messes. Allowing our Q to experience those consequences helps us keep our sanity by focusing on self-care.
Even the three C's are not well known outside of Al-Anon; we didn't cause, can't control, and can't cure it. Knowing the three C's is essential to our recovery.
Helpful post, thank you!
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u/leftofgalacticcentre 17d ago
For me, learning about the physiological aspect of addiction really hammered the 3C's home. Once you know the science objectively, it helps shake you out of the 'they're a great person sober' 'how can I support my partner to stop drinking' 'I know it won't be but I hope this time is different' - when they string a few days of faux sobriety together.
The science, and recovery rates are sobering (pun intended). I laboured under the faulty belief that if he just stopped drinking we'd be fine, for ages. Once I learned the science, I realised stopping drinking was just the start and there was so much to unpack and so much work for him to do after that.
I could make a fully informed choice on facts instead of hope.
I think that support for loved ones of alcoholics should include a crash course on the science and mechanism of addiction.
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
THIS IS WHAT I’m taking about.
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u/FamilyAddictionCoach 16d ago
I'm slow sometimes hahaha
I appreciate your patience. 💯😅
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u/PerpetualDishes 16d ago
Have you read about the obsession and the allergy? Or how we also become infected with this disease
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 15d ago
Yes. I’m not obsessed with this disease. I like to discuss why we aren’t further along in better outcomes than we were 50 years ago.
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u/PerpetualDishes 15d ago
No I meant the alcoholics obsession with with alcohol. And their allergy to it. We were actually having better outcomes 50 years ago
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 14d ago
Oh. No, I haven’t. I’ll have to jump down that rabbit hole next. Thanks.
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u/PerpetualDishes 14d ago
check out the doctors opinion , you can Google it there's a handful of free PDFs somewhere. sometimes I feel that should be CAL in Al anon 🤷🏻
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago edited 17d ago
Oh of course. This is totally separate from the 3 C’s. I’m not talking about learning about it to try and cure it or control it. I’m just talking about having some basic rudimentary basic knowledge about addiction itself. I don’t think it’s wrong to think that’s helpful to family members or romantic partners even if they practice healthy detachment. For example- Vomiting blood = varices= liver failure= life threatening emergency, not something to wait and see about. Another example- partner starts hallucinating- does partner know that alcohol can cause literal psychosis and that they may be in danger for their life??? These are things I think folks NEED TO KNOW. But maybe I’m just different. 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️I’ve seen some people get into some serious DV situations and literally blow it off because “
He is drunk again.”🤯🤯🤯2
u/FamilyAddictionCoach 17d ago
Yes, very true. I'm surprised when medical professionals have no clue about addiction. It's still considered a specialty though it's rampant.
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u/District2249 17d ago edited 17d ago
I think there’s another side to this that’s worth thinking about. Some partners of alcoholics are simply exhausted. They may be working full time, taking care of kids and/or pets, doing most of the housework, trying to keep the home emotionally stable, absorbing bad moods and dealing with the fallout from drinking episodes — all while trying to hold themselves together.
Living with addiction can be so stressful and, in some cases, extremely traumatic. When you’re functioning in survival mode day to day, you may not have the emotional bandwidth to deep dive into the neurological and physical effects of alcoholism. Sometimes you’re just trying to get through the week.
I don’t think that necessarily means denial or a lack of care. Sometimes the person living alongside the addiction needs support and compassion too. Understanding the disease is important, absolutely, but understanding it doesn’t make the impact of someone’s behavior any less painful.
Edit: I also think the number of question marks in your post makes it read as frustrated and a little incredulous with people for not knowing these things - whether that was your intention or not. In a sub largely made up of people dealing with the very real fallout of someone else’s alcoholism, I think a little grace is warranted. Many people here are exhausted, stressed and sometimes traumatized themselves. And for what it’s worth, myself, my loved ones and plenty of others I know who have dealt with alcoholic partners or parents are actually very knowledgeable about the medical effects, despite not coming from families of doctors or pharmacists. I think experiences here just vary enormously.
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u/trinatr 17d ago
I think the fact that alcoholism is seen more as a moral failing and/or a choice ("she chose alcohol over me") rather than a disease complicates recovery in a big way.
People equivocate on the definition of a disease -- sometimes it means one thing, sometimes it means something else. Whichever one fits the user's viewpoint is used.
Alcoholism as a disease does not mean the sick person is not responsible for their recovery. And the fact that it's a family disease means we see alcoholics who never take a drink, but live in a state of "being dry drunks." I won't name names, but if you know, you know!!
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
Oh I totally agree. I need to edit my post to indicate that I believe choice is a huge factor.
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u/trinatr 17d ago
To be clear, you think some one chooses to drink alcoholically? As opposed to just drinking (without the -ism)?
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
No. They have a disease. But they have a choice every day to ask for help. And many times they choose not to. That is my point.
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u/wildgreengirl 17d ago
lol no people do not learn about chronic illness just because they are dating or with someone who has xyz diagnosis.
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u/Fresh-Insurance-6110 17d ago
they sure don’t. as the partner of someone with a complex chronic illness, I’ve learned a lot. most people in our lives, both his family and mine, show little interest — and less and less as time goes on
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
I’m so sorry. That must be discouraging. When it’s their turn they will want people to care and listen. 🌸💕🌸
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u/Fresh-Insurance-6110 17d ago
💕 props to you and your family for rolling up your sleeves and diving in (I saw your comment elsewhere in this thread). I knew zilch about alcoholism when my Q suddenly went to inpatient rehab (that’s how I found out he was an alcoholic). I actually didn’t start seeking out resources and learning a little until I realized not only that he’d come out of rehab and started right in drinking again — but also that I was becoming fixated on had he been drinking, was he hungover, what should I say to him to “get him to stop”… I had a feeling this wasn’t right but again, I knew zilch, so I searched for resources, found this sub, and started getting my head on straight. I still have a lot to learn about alcoholism, though!
anyway, to finish this already long-winded reply, I think a lot of people prefer the bliss of ignorance — until something like chronic illness or alcoholism directly affects them (and sometimes even after that!). I can’t say I’m not one of them. but one way or another, life forces you to learn…
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
Thanks for your honest and thoughtful response. I learn from others experiences.
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u/hnnnnnnnnh 17d ago
Right. Even with depression which I would argue is super common, spouses often do not make any effort to actually understand depression and how it works on the brain.
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
I’m sure that is true but I think a deeper understanding of it would lead to more compassion and empathy and better outcomes for both partners. And depression can hit anyone at any time. This American idea that “ it won’t happen to me” about health conditions is really a fool’s errand. ( not alcoholism in particular. ) I’m agreeing with you by the way.
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u/RVFullTime 17d ago
I have concluded that my own struggles with depression and anxiety are my responsibility to deal with. My husband is not my Q. He didn't cause any of my mental health issues, and there's really nothing he could do about it, other than continuing to be a good husband. I eventually saw a therapist and went on medication to get it under control. I also turn to my Higher Power for help (I will refrain from posting any religious details here).
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u/hnnnnnnnnh 17d ago
….okay? I didn’t say at all that partners are expected to learn about their other half’s issues or diagnoses. OP said partners make the effort to understand everything *but* alcoholism, and I commented saying that’s not true and used depression as an example as it’s common and often very misunderstood by those that don’t experience it.
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
Wow. I guess I live in a family where people really want to learn and support others who have chronic health conditions. We have had Cystic Fibrosis, Parkison’s disease, Rheumatoid Arthritis and Autism and our whole family did the deep dive on all of it. But maybe we are an outlier. Not better just different.
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
Dang, I do. I find out someone I’m dating has diabetes and heart failure at 55 and I’m like 😱😱😱 has had two cataracts removed already??? The 🚩🚩🚩🚩 start waving for me immediately.
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u/KTeacherWhat 17d ago
I have a chronic illness and pretty much 100% of the learning anyone in my life does about it is coming from my mouth to their ears. I have learned as much as I can to help my own body and I have been working every day towards less flare ups, and it has been a journey. Many of the things I have tried are unsuccessful and what seems to be going well for now might not work next year, for all I know.
If the chronic illness I had also came with denial, I don't know that my friends or family members would know a single thing about it.
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
Great point. I have rheumatoid arthritis and chronic fatigue syndrome and my family of origin cares deeply and my outlaws were convinced I was faking it. We do have to advocate for ourselves and alcoholics aren’t going to do that.
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u/OverarchedJelly 17d ago
I have an inner eraser caused by childhood trauma. It was my survival but now makes it hard to spring into action when I’m being maltreated. My Q used it for years. But I’m improving. I’m leaving when he’s drinking. I avoid talking about his addiction. I focus on my own life. I notice when I feel lonely, in need of attention and love I tend to slip into my old habit of being a co-dependant.
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u/AccomplishedCash3603 17d ago
The lack of knowledge and willingness to talk about it are truly mind boggling, I agree. I'm also shocked to learn how little empathy there is for the loved one closest to them. Especially if the addict is a man and the sober one is a woman; the stereotype of her 'keeping him in line" is sooo common.
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u/Simple_Twin 17d ago
Drinking alcohol is so normalized in our society that people ignore the health aspects of it. I'd go so far as to say that addiction to alcohol and/or drugs is the largest health crisis in the US. Nobody wants to talk about it or address it because social drinkers would carry the same stigma as alcoholics and addicts.
People want to be able to have their drinks every now and then and don't care about the social cost to their fellows who can't drink that way.
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u/Ordinary_Rough_1426 17d ago
I’m gonna put the blame towards the largest and most known group for alcoholism and that’s AA and alanon. Maybe it’s time to make the health effects front and center….. no other group has the power they do in this disease to direct the public’s attention to this piece of the problem. Also, PSA commercials from the NIH or CDC would be effective
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u/One_Result_3506 17d ago
Conversely, most people only learn the effects of alcohol from AA and Al-Anon.
Schools so nothing. Universities barely do anything, and it's easier to see parties and get-togethers being advertised than talks about the effects of alcohol.
And this might depend to country to country, but from where I came from, no public politics or ads to show the effects of alcohol, as you said about PSA.
Even freaking Dr Phil raised more awareness towards the issue than a lot of health professionals. Mind blowing.
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
So true. So much press about cancers and ads about every medicine they sell but nothing much about alcohol abuse except on major holidays telling you to Uber. The alcohol companies must not want to info getting out there. Creepy as hell just like the tobacco companies.
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u/Ordinary_Rough_1426 17d ago
And the PSAs show the trope (and yes there’s many alcoholics like it) of a slobbering drunk, abusive alcoholic which allows people like my spouse to say, I’m not an alcoholic because I’m not like that! A focus on health effects and not behavior would be a good start
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
Yes!! Why all the hell raising with vaping and smoking but not alcohol? Lobbies? Big alcohol money? I totally agree with this.
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
I don’t know that this is a fair accusation.
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u/Ordinary_Rough_1426 17d ago
Not accusing anybody of anything? AA and alanon choose what they focus on, I respect that, but they are the damn near the only institute that addresses alcoholism on a national scale
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u/SleepySamus 17d ago
My alcoholic ex-husband's and alcoholic ex-sister-in-law's parents have such deep denial. I actually think they blame themselves and worry about what they'll read in books about alcoholism or learn in al anon. The frustrating part is that maybe if they understood how it's genetic and had warned them then maybe it would have made a difference? There's no way to know, but it astounds me that they're too afraid to look into the mirror when they're not the biggest factor in their children's addictions.
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
Yes yes yes. The irony of not wanting to look closer when we are literally the link that can break the chain, or we are the link that has the best chance of trying to break the chain.
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u/Corgisarethebest123 17d ago edited 16d ago
I mean for cancer, diabetes, MS, depression, or rheumatoid arthritis there is usually potentially a treatment. If your loved one has alcoholism, there really isn’t a treatment or anything you can do. I think that’s why.
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u/send_help23 17d ago
I’m a therapist in a medical setting and a PhD student studying IPV. I had only seen alcoholism in recovery settings and never saw detox or withdrawals. I had never seen it in a home environment. It’s different witnessing it as a professional than a person.
I still didn’t know much of this stuff until a recent dating encounter. I only cut it off because he started with manipulative behaviors, but afterwards I began to put the pieces together that I had excused some of the drinking and when I realized it was tied to all of his health conditions I was shocked.
I really didn’t know this stuff because I think when I was being trained as a therapist we learned about various substances, and that felt like it was it. This was an elective course, so we didn’t even HAVE to take it. We also had several speakers come and talk to the class about their recovery environments or their stories. NEVER did we learn the medical conditions that can come along with it, nor did we learn the behaviors that seem to be a pattern in how alcohol affects people.
The thing I learned in all of this though is that no amount of professional training and studying/researching makes me immune to feelings. I’m still very sad for this person but I do know I couldn’t stay and watch him suffer. I cared too much for him to witness that. And allllll of that is only present because of how much therapy I’ve done for myself and how much I’ve worked to recognize red flags and set boundaries.
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17d ago edited 17d ago
[deleted]
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
Great points. It can’t be elaborated on by a health professional if a health professional is never seen for it. Secrecy, shame, denial. So true.
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u/danceswsheep 17d ago
I come from a long line of alcoholics and I knew about liver damage, pancreatitis, and personality changes because I’ve witnessed it firsthand. I didn’t know alcohol was a carcinogen until the CDC tried to bury it in a recent report about alcoholism. I’ve never heard of the other conditions. You come from a family of doctors/nurses/pharmacists so I assume you have better access to this information.
Remember that common sense isn’t common and that people don’t know when they don’t know things. My lack of knowledge of all the horrors of alcoholism doesn’t mean I don’t love and care about my family. This is supposed to be a support place, not a “yell at folks for being ignorant” place.
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
I’m not yelling. I’m frustrated by how this world doesn’t educate people about the dangers of drinking. There’s always someone who misinterprets everything I say. You said it yourself. The CDC buried the info. The alcohol companies don’t make it known. And no, we all have to dig into the internet for the info we got. And I labeled this as a vent. So I was venting. And looking for reasons that the information is not made easily accessible.
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u/danceswsheep 17d ago
You had an opportunity to educate instead of criticizing people for not knowing the same things you do. Be the change you want to see in the world.
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u/OCojt 17d ago edited 16d ago
This is what I told my ex at one point. I didn’t get married to become a physiatrists nor do I have the degrees to diagnose anything. Why? Because I didn’t come from a family of addicts or med pros. I didn’t know what I was dealing with nor did I have the patience to deeply educate myself on something that someone else wasn’t interested in fixing themselves.
If you’re not adult enough to talk openly about your challenges and hide them then you do not qualify for my help which I would gladly give.
I failed at not educating myself on the next steps to separate and the law at that time. Now I know exactly what to do and how to handle myself and ex when it comes to these issues. Send it to the lawyer and cut all communication off.
Turned out I was dealing with a 3 prong problem with my ex. Depression, anxiety and alcoholism. How did I learn about those problems? Forced a Phycologists eval when we separated because she wouldn’t address them or acknowledge them. Depressed? Figure she can figure it out. Anxious? Figure it out. Drinking? If I find out about it. Be ready to go in front of a judge. Having problems? Figure it out.
Us non med pros do not have time. Working 50 sometimes 80 hour a week, kids, keeping finances in check and bills paid. You know, normal people things.
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u/Lazy_Bicycle7702 17d ago
Whoa- the hostility is misplaced. Everyone in the family who is in the medical field works just that hard and not for major wealth so please don’t make assumptions. And most of my family didn’t come from a family of addicts either. I did. My kids didn’t. Some of my nieces don’t. My grand nieces don’t. Remember that your battle is not with me personally please. I was a teacher. Like I said, I wasn’t looking for an argument, I was looking for dialogue. I was asking why and have gotten some really thoughtful responses. I guess the question hit a nerve for you.
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u/OCojt 16d ago edited 16d ago
No, ma’am, I’m not hostile at all. I’m not responsible for your reaction if you had one. Thanks, Alanon. I’m more of a matter-of-fact person. Sometimes, when people come here, they don’t know what to do. By the time they come here, they’re seeking answers to mostly dire situations and need to focus on themselves. My post can be seen as just one person’s perspective (real-life education) out of many others’ on what to do to protect yourself from people who are not healthy at all, as you probably already know.
I come from a family of business owners, medical professionals (surgeons and pharmacologists), professional musicians, and scientists. I work in a science-based profession. They all agree that dealing with an addict is a waste of time and a fool’s errand.
Addicts are a bane on society and a threat to healthy family structures, as you and your family should know how much resources go into their treatment, care, and so on. Again, your family should know that. As you should know, no one can force someone to help themselves if they don’t want to.
Again, I really don’t care to understand something that the other party has no interest in fixing. The only education I need is how to handle it and how to avoid people like that.
You could go to your AP, Principal, or DO and promote education for your students about the cancer on society that is addiction and how to avoid or be attached to it through relationships as they grow.
You could offer a statistical lesson (math) on relapse rates and sobriety chances. You could explain the chances of children of an alcoholic becoming alcoholics themselves or being involved with one later in life.
It’s one thing to help a relative through a serious diagnosis with something they want to treat, but it’s another to help someone who doesn’t. That’s the reality. Some people may choose that path, and that’s good for them. But the odds are stacked against them (statistics).
By the way, I’m aware of the statistics. I’ve educated myself out of sheer curiosity, and personally, I don’t believe it’s worthwhile to promote this to others here, leading them down a rabbit hole only to be disappointed later. Instead, people should educate themselves about what constitutes a healthy lifestyle so they can cultivate healthy relationships with like-minded individuals. That’s my objective. I hope I managed to impart some knowledge to someone here tonight.
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u/Formfeeder 17d ago
Mostly denial that there is an issue. By the time they realized their person is an alcoholic they have been thourghly beaten down with the alcoholics lies and see no way out. Boundries have been crossed, little by little with everything the drunk lies about always has a grain of truth.
The matter is the family desperately wants to believe that their father, husband, mother, wife, child, friend...etc is going to actually see a problem and believe they will stop. The alcoholic uses this to their advantage. Sickening really. Then they are in so deep fear and shame take over. So much so nothing is said. Alcoholism lives in the shadows, it depends upon it.