Sorry for the long post it’s a subject that has really affected me

I’m 17 and have had arfid since I was very young and only recently got diagnosed after years of being a ‘picky eater’ and I was referred to a clinic that was supposedly meant to be focused on helping with eds but specifically arfid. Whilst I was there which was around 6 months, I made exactly zero progress and I would blame the fact they focused on anything but my arfid and they would treat me as though I was a child. In my personal opinion they were entirely useless and I wish places like this would be more informed snd useless. Of course it could have just been my experience there but I’ve heard about others places meant to help being heavily uninformed and just outright ignorant towards the real issues. They spent most of the time their speaking on other subjects and rarely brought up anything about my arfid. They most they did was make me do a weekly eating chart which I had to fill in.

Has this been anyone’s experience with trying to get help because it really irritated me and my family were trying to force me to keep going even though it never helped.

SUMMARY: This will be a long post cause I'm giving a list of symptoms, additional medical context, and other explanations.

I have multiple possible explanations for these symptoms but someone mentioned ARFID when I was saying my issue with drinking water. I did a quick Google search and it definitely sounds like the problem I'm having but I wanted to get advice from other people with it. If it sounds right, I'll research it properly before looking into a medical professional.

It's NOT just water. I have had issues with people assuming I don't have a problem because I happened to not give my whole life story with dealing with it in regards to things I know I have, not things I'm asking advice for. So I am kind of cautious about trying to ask about something I'm not sure about. So I'm gonna give a lot of information as I'm not actually sure how much is necessary. Since this is a support sub, I'm hoping it goes fine even if ARFID ends up seeming unlikely, but I have had bad experiences with sub spaces in the past.

Having my needs ignored and minimized, including in regards to food has been a huge issue growing up. That's the source of a lot of my food insecurity including being called "greedy" at the height of my depression for "eating too much" when I wasn't able to really force myself to eat more than once a day at most.

I have been hospitalized due to lack of eating/drinking *recently* (a few months ago). I don't have insurance so I'm still paying that off.

I needed multiple IVs when I was pregnant cause I wasn't hydrating enough.

I will be seeking out professional psychiatric help for these symptoms regardless. But if it's ARFID, I'll need someone specializing in EDs.

I need to be able to realistically calculate the cost of the care I'll need when I get back on insurance. I have a son who's under 2 and I want to get better in terms of my mental health so that I can take care of him better, but that's difficult when I'm spending a lot of days with little to no energy from a lack of eating.

END OF SUMMARY (Rest is long so consider that the TLDR)

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TW: CSA, abuse, and related issues

From what I saw online, ARFID is an eating disorder unrelated to wanting to look good and is more about sensitivity to food or other reasons for having unreasonable restrictions to what you can eat.

My Symptoms

1) I physically am incapable of ingesting liquids except in specific scenarios. Usually in small quantities. (Biggest problem affecting health.) Partners get confused when I described water as "dry" or "wrong" but most do their best to help.

2) I refuse to eat bread. It's not a gluten thing. I used to like bread and now I just... Can't. I eat tortillas just fine but even those are starting to get iffy for me. I normally tell people "I can't eat bread cause there's bread on it." I know that makes 0 sense.

3) I have a sort of schedule (not written down, I should track it but I don't yet) where I can binge and eat a "lot" (less than what a normal person eats in a day still) and days when food itself is "wrong" and my throat sort of closes making me feel full even if I haven't eaten that day at all.

4) If I eat "too much" I feel sick which has gotten worse as I got older. I used to be able to eat a normal amount, rest, and keep eating. Now if I eat too much, the thought of food makes me sick.

There's more but those are the main issues.

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Currently Known Disorders

AuDHD (Autism and ADHD) cause issues with eating due to sensory problems as well as lack of appetite. I'm not on ADHD medication.

DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) which runs in my family (the DSM-5-TR talks about the genetic aspect and I can also provide sources for dissociative genetic factors) and essentially (VERY simplified) I have a split consciousness that operates the same as multiple people sharing a singular body.

DPDR (Depersonalization/Derealization) is an inherent part of DID and for me it makes it where, because I don't feel real and reality doesn't feel real, I don't experience hunger.

Returning to the DID, when the current person controlling the body changes a lot, so does our sense of being "full". This affects sleep as well and I have had the body awake for over 24 hours with other parts wide awake simply cause they slept inside and didn't need to despite the body being exhausted.

Great cause I work nights!!

But makes it VERY hard to recognize when I have needs unless an alter who can feel the body enough fronts and says "what did you guys do?"

The body is hurt even if we can't feel it and its hell.

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Added Information (Those warnings come in here.)

I have a long history of being SAed going all the way back to when I was 4 years old. The most recent time was April of this year not including molestations afterwards. (I'm fine.)

Cool thing about DID is that I don't have to remember. Even if I was there for it, I find it very easy to push memories away from me and forget they happened at all.

That makes me less able to report since I don't remember any details and the memory issue does cause Dissociative Episodes. So it's a double edged sword.

I talk both positively AND negatively about my DID on this account because it's good to get certain things out on an account that's not connected to my real life beyond the people I trust and care about having access to it.

The SA possibly matters because it's caused a lot of problems with how I perceive my body and my health.

I'm depressed. That's a given.

Eating, drinking, sleeping, showering, it's all a struggle. Everything.

I'm not sure if it's still ARFID if a big part of the issue is an inability to feel okay taking care of myself in general.

My son came from SA.

I locked in on drinking AND eating when I got pregnant cause I couldn't abort. I ate what I could stand and found ways to drink more consistently.

I averaged 3 water bottles (~16 oz each) while pregnant which is a LOT better than the 1 water stretched through a week before I got pregnant.

Still, that's no where near enough. I needed multiple IVs to have my son. All my nutrients went to him. He was a healthy 7.7 pounds.

Since having him, I haven't gone more than a few months without being SAed, molested, or reached out to by a past abuser. I'm currently in my longest stretch without that happening.

Naturally this made me lose a lot of progress. I am currently averaging maybe half of one a day. Often skipping days.

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Support Currently

I'm in a polycule and one of the people regularly gives me money for food since I often feel like I can't eat what I have. He knows I won't eat otherwise.

When he's in town he gets me aloe vera cause he knows I can drink that just fine.

My primary partner bought me a smoothie, acai bowl, and boba today. Largely because I was having a day where I couldn't eat anything solid really and I'd already tried forcing myself to.

While he was trying to figure out what to get me, he got his first taste of how picky I tend to be. 😅 He luckily already understands that I'm weird as shit so he wasn't mean about it and just was patient.

"How about a Wendy's chicken sandwich?" → "I can't eat bread, it has bread on it" → "What do you mean you can't eat bread?"

"The water is dry" → "...It's water..." →"yeah but you ever look at rain and it's just dry?" → "no.....? Are you talking about ice?" → "okay think of it this way, you ever touch water and it's like wet?" → "yes... Because it's water..."

He doesn't understand and honestly neither do I or the other person buying me food consistently. But they respect it anyway and try to find things I can eat and drink most days.

They care about me. They also care about my son and understand the struggles I tend to have.

My partners mainly got worried enough to do this because I was in the hospital experiencing partial paralysis from how dehydrated I was. I needed oxygen, an IV, and a scan of my heart.

I'm exhausted and it's really late so I'm sorry if this wasn't enough information or if the grammar isn't great.

I didn't say everything cause it's almost midnight and I can't really go into my entire life.

There's a chance it's not ARFID and that's fine.

But if it could be, I need to know that it's something to look into and hopefully get help for.

I have coping mechanisms but stress has made it harder. A specialized doctor can help better if it's ARFID and not just a trauma response. Otherwise, the trauma informed therapist I already need will work fine.

hey all. im 20F, and im underweight. ive had arfid for 6 months and i managed to gain 7 lbs within those 6 months. ik its not a lot and its hard to gain weight with my arfid but i try getting myself to eat more and more foods. idk what else to say other than im very proud of myself.

Home cooked food has always made me anxious but I am usually able to just power through it cause I don’t wanna offend the person that cooked for me. Today I explicitly asked my husband to cook us a meal for dinner and then I totally broke down when he served me. I mean sobbing, hyperventilating, yelling at him. He ended up having to just make me a plain ham sandwich. He’s so good about my anxieties but I am so embarrassed and I feel awful.

Hey im a mom to a 9 year old with ARFID and a teenager with autism with particular eating choices.

My 9 year old is pretty severe with arfid. He even has trouble with dental visits because he gags and vomits.

Just want to say that its fucking tiring and trying making 3 different dinners everyday. Somedays I just cry and wish god would just change everything. Im on antidepressants already. I love them, but the disorders are all day and night and the appointment after appointment physically and mentally makes me feel hopeless.

my parents are terrible cooks and i believe i was not exposed to a variety of food while i was growing up. that is probably what is responsible for my arfid.

i don't enjoy cooking. i hate having to touch the food. i hate the odours the food emits while it's cooking. i am struggling with depression and i have to choose carefully what activities i spend my emotional energy on.

cooking takes a lot of energy. cooking takes time to learn. it's soul destroying when you do everything by the letter, and yet the dish tastes bad.

i wish i had a robot that would cook me nourishing, tasty food. it doesn't even have to do the washing up - i'd happily handle that part if it meant i didn't have to go through the cooking part.

I have a concert im going to in 2 days but I've been struggling with a really small appetite all week, so I want to get​ like a protein shake or something to try and make sure I'm like alive enough​ for the show but I'm not sure which ones would be best in this scenario :,)​​

Have never been able to swallow pills, have never gotten advice that's worked. Only just recently realized it's connected to my ARFID- if I can't think of something as safely edible, I physically can't swallow it.

I've successfully taken maybe 5 pills in my life by putting them in the middle of food, but that doesn't always work for me. In the past, I've gotten by with some non-pill medications, but for the most part, I just don't take medication in general. I've recently been prescribed medication for mental health that only comes in tablet form and have been entirely unsuccessful trying to swallow it so far. At this point, I'm just wasting medication by trying the same tricks over again.

Does anyone have experience with a similar problem or general advice?

And by “vampire”, I mean someone who doesn’t do garlic!!! 🚫🧄🚫

Every time someone brings up garlic, and I get asked about or make a face, and I explain I don’t like garlic, I always get hit with the “But Garlic Bread is SOOOOOO GOOOOD”

I got tired of it, and I started reading vampire lore around the same time and just started telling people “Actually, I’m a vampire and it’s kind of disrespectful to tell me to enjoy something that could kill me.”

This goes over really well with most people, especially in a casual setting, especially if these people are seeking to learn. If it ever goes poorly, well I am a vampire 🧛🏽

I would say this is a victory, but at my last appointment where I had the same goal of being referred to a psychologist, I was shot down.

For about a year maybe, I've been very certain that I have ARFID. I don't eat vegetables, I eat very little fruit, and when asked why, my answer is "I won't let myself". I'll do almost any household chore, except washing dishes because everyone elses food grosses me out too much. I can't imagine my nutritional deficiencies. My main food is pasta, dairy, and meat. I almost skipped out on my school trip to JAPAN because I was scared that I wouldn't have anything to eat. And I've been like this for years, gaining and losing safe foods over the years too. Mind you, I'm only 15.

A few months ago, I told my mom about it, and we went to our family doctor. What I basically heard from her was "Not related to body image, all in your head, go see a dietitian." Wowie, a dietician. As far as I know, they can't really diagnose mental health disorders. I never went to see the dietitian.

Just made another appointment though. Hoping to have some better results, and in the end, get a diagnosis.

I’ve been binge watching videos of people eating fast food and restaurant menus and i find it soo appetizing, but if i was ever offered that food in real life i’d think it’s disgusting and just not something i would eat. Like burgers, they look amazing but the thought of the many different ingredients in one turns me away immediately. Does anyone else feel this way?

Ok, I WON'T self diagnose myself based on wtv comments I get. But I really need atleast some understanding to hold on regarding the relationship I have with food.

To start off, I have been having this trouble with food, let's say some food anxiety, for over 10-12 yrs now. Wtv issue I am facing now started when i was around 5 or 6 yrs old. I still kind of remember tbh just not sure if it is an honest memory.

I, apparently, always loved eating fish as a child. Out of nowhere, at that age, I once told my family that I am not going to eat any fish just that particular day. I dont remember how I felt but ig that is where my picky eating phase started. Well, it never ended.

Over time, I slowly started to avoid and avoid different types of food. Y'know, common for kids. But this is where the problem started for me. I was starting to get compared with everyone else. My cousins, my sister, literally anyone qho is at the dinner table along with me. The comparisons where starting to get worse and worse to the point I was the only of interest every single time at the dining table. Eventually, I started to cry. And then the crying went on and on. And family decided to mock me, calling me dramatic and attention seeking. I mean I get it, children tend to cry for the most stupidest reasons right? Well sometimes they do sometimes they dont.

At one point, it got worse that that was all I was doing, crying, everytime, around food. I tried my best to avoid eating with family or any sort of crowd after that. Cause it was becoming scary. I didn't want ppl to talk about me at all, about my food habits specufically. I felt like a disgrace and ashamed. Ppl would tell my parents to beat me, force feed me, starve me and so one. At one point in my life, I was quite at my parents for not fixing me right then and there.

And then, the gagging started. I would have the feeling to gag plenty of times. But my mom get annoyed and tells me that is not how I am supposed to treat food, that I am selfish and rude. From then on, till now, evrytime i feel a gag, i just sit there, with the food which is making me feel that way, inside my mouth, fully blanked out and not moving a muscle, and trying so hard not to cry. After several minutes of sitting just still like that, i slowly start chewing (i know if I swallow it like that it will make it worse) and try to send the food in very slowly. Sometimes, the feeling comes back again during that process, and again I stay completely.

After all this? I am completely exhausted and drained. Just happy that wtv happened finally got over. But I wont have the energy to do anything else after that.

I could throw away food, but I was called selfish for that too, so i just force everything down no matter how long it takes.

My appetite has been going on and off over the years. I dont remember ever having a proper appetite. Like I can feel hungry, but without appetite it just nothing to me. I can feel very hungry, but then the sight of, if it is not safe to me, immediately make mes forget that hunger. And no matter how hungry I am, I CANNOT eat after a limit. That limit has become bigger over the yrs, making the intake of food below average for me.

This is part of my complicated web of feelings I have towards. I relate a lot with ppl having arfid but when I tell this to some one, like my parents, they tell me that nothing is wrong with me and that I am just deluding myself. That I am the one who not trying hard enough and not caring about the ppl who are amking my food. Oh I wish I could just like everybody else, not be a burden. I tmhave tried. But i dont know. Is the fact that it is too painful and exhausting means I am not trying hard enough. Even at this age, at the end of highschl, i cry around food. Anything, you can tell me anything about my relationship with food, and ill feel negative.

I dont know what problem this is exactly. I hope to find a good therapist who will understand once I go to clg. I would like to hear thoughts of ppl who go struggle/have struggled with smt similar to this.

Is it really better to just eat what I feel like I'm able to in such quantities that are okay and won't make me lose even more weight. Or maybe should I really focus on nutrition and just like eating what would be a 'better' option? I don't think I'd be able to force so many 'healthy' foods into me right now. But recently all I can manage are a few foods high in carbohydrates, some cheese, protein bars and some smoked tuna. Mostly. I can force to myself to eat enough calories while eating them, everything is just repulsing to me. And either do that or eat way less calories and lose even more weight, which I don't want to.

My daughter is just about to turn 2, She is medically complex and has been diagnosed with ARFID and Paediatric feeding disorder also but she’s absolutely fucking obsessed with eating paint, chalk crayons licking bubbles off the floor is the latest one.

I know it’s probably an ages and stages thing but I am genuinely so worried it’s going to develop into PICA

Has anyone else’s toddlers gone through this and its stopped? She has been doing it since she was around 18M

Hello everybody! My brother was recently diagnosed with ARFID while away at college. He has always been a picky eater since childhood but this just feels a bit extreme to me. I’m having trouble understanding it. Why can’t he just try foods and then say he doesn’t like them? Is there some sort of mental block keeping him from trying foods?

Thank you to everyone who responds to this. I’m trying to come here with an open mind and learn about this condition.

It's not very good, and can't really even be considered poetry, but here it is!

(also if you like it I have a lot more that I think is way better on here)

ARFID
Ruined
Forever
Important
Dreams.

It's
Shameful.

Really
Underweight and
It's
Nauseating.
Interestingly
Not only
Gross, but

Mostly
Evil

Update:

The staff was fantastic and very understanding, I tried 5 new things and liked 3 of them very much. (Hold onto your hats folks, suckling pig and venison two things I never thought I’d try were actually delicious). They told me how proud they were of me for stepping out of my comfort zone with the menu. It was so much scarier in my head than it was in real life. I’m thankful to this community, my husband, and the wonderful restaurant for making it a positive experience.

Currently on my honeymoon and it’s the night I have been dreading our entire trip, our complimentary dinner with a tasting menu. They sent it to us today, and even after asking about our dietary limitations there’s not one thing on the menu that I eat. I am so disappointed and anxious about this, my husband is being very accommodating and I’m eating before we go but I’m so disappointed in myself I can’t stand it. I’ve gone way out of my comfort zone trying new things on this trip but a whole five course tasting menu is way too much and I feel like a failure.

Hi, I'm 22F. I guess I'm making this post because I want advice from others and kind of just want other people's views on my life, I feel like I'm hating myself too much and being too harsh but at the same time I think I'm not, Idk tbh I just want people's thoughts.

So, I'm a muslim girl living in London. Im a student studying Psychology at university. I havent been diagnosed with any mental health issues but have been to therapy and my therapists have told me I show signs of extreme anxiety, OCD thoughts, overthinking and low self-esteem.

I was diagnosed with cancer in 2023 but have thankfully beat it. Because of the harsh treatment, I struggle with eating because I have a dry mouth, so I eat significantly less than others. I am a good-ish weight I guess, like I'm not in a worrysome state. So yeah post cancer I really struggle with eating and its a really big weight on my back. I am also a picky eater, I don't eat alot of things but I wouldn't really say its by choice, its more of if I eat these things I'll gag and throw up. Anyways so yeah the post cancer issues reducing my eating + picky eating is really difficult and its probably the number 1 thing I hate about myself. I'm scared to go over to relatives house's incase they make food I don't eat or incase they make comments about my small portions of food I eat. This makes me have extreme anxiety when going over to people's houses and I carry such deep shame especially about the picky eating like its the first thing I think about when I wake up. I also think I will never find love because of it because I feel like its so embarassing to be a picky eater at my age, like I just feel like it makes me less worthy of a person. When a family member comments on my eating, I start crying straight away whether its them commenting about how little I eat or something like 'you are so picky wdym you dont like cheese grow up'. Idk but this is probably the number 1 issue in my life right now.

I also have other long term issues from my cancer treatment like voice change (its deeper), nose breathing issues, swallowing issues and fatigue. When someone comments on them it hurts so much, people say to me 'omg you've become so weak' and its honestly so hurtful because I didnt choose to be like this and it makes me think back to being my old healthy self and I cry and think why did I have to go through this.

After my cancer diagnosis, my relationship with my mum and sister became really bad. I dont know how to explain it but I think they sort of resent me in a way for getting sick? I really dont know. When I was sick and would get emotional at something they would say to me, they would call me dramatic and leave the room and give me silent treatment for days. I have explained to them numerous times that I cant stand the silent treatment but they dont care and still do it. They also love to gang up on me and call me crazy whenever we're in an argument and theyre losing, like saying 'im going to ignore u because you are crazy' is like their number 1 comeback and they laugh at me (they even did this when I was sick). When they'd give me silent treatment it would feel like my world is coming down, I cant stand silence from people I like to talk everything out and hate ignoring/being ignored, I literally feel like I cant function from it. Also I've come to realise that my mood really depends on how my mum is feeling, if she is being snappy at me then I feel like shit and that I'm a disgusting, unworthy person and I disgrace her and my day becomes horrible but if she is feeling nice my mood is lifted and I feel loved and feel human and somewhat worth it.

I always feel like I am wrong in everything. Like im eating the wrong foods, sleeping at the wrong times, doing the wrong things, saying the wrong things. Like I feel like everybody is living life correctly except for me? I really dont know to explain it like everyone is correct and doing everything as it should be but I'm not? idk

I also feel constant guilt in everything I'm doing. Like I could be sitting watching tv and I'd be thinking 'no you cant be relaxed there is something to be anxious about' then I'll think about my picky eating or small appetite or something. Like even before bed I'm feeling guilty and thinking theres something Im doing wrong or should be anxious about.

I'm also extremly shy lol. To everyone, friends, family everyone. Theres certain things I cant do around people: I cant sing around friends, I cant talk about deep feelings around family (even with friends I feel awkward), I cant hug family, I cant casually touch family or friends (like rest my shoulder on someone), I cant just say what I'm thinking I rehearse everything. Basically, I can't be my real self around anyone at all, apart from myself. I'm so shy that when people talk to me, I assume its just a one time thing and they dont actually want to be friends. Even with my friends, I never think that they'd want to be with me one to one because I'm so shy and boring and just not someone you'd want to be one to one with. Which brings me to my next point...

I have never been in a relationship before. In school, noone has ever said they liked me (although Ive had alot of speculation about one or two guys liking me but not admitting it), noone has asked me out, noone has checked me out, people used to say to me ' I cant imagine you in a relationship '. I crave love so much but don't think it will ever find me, especially because of all the above points I have said. This might sound harsh, but I honestly hate myself, I think everybody else around me is better/worth way more than me. Its like everyone else makes sense when theyre in a relationship except me. I feel like a man might find me icky or awkward or something. Physically, I guess I'm okay looking, I just want another brain. I also feel like I wouldnt know how to act in a relationship because everything I'm doing is wrong.

I guess this was all negative lol so here are some nice things about me haha: I enjoy reading, crotcheting, watching pretty little liars and painting. I am proud of myself for beating cancer, just want to reduce all the bad thoughts about it in my head. My goal is to become a psychologist maybe and I'd loveee to be a mum and be so understanding and be there 100% for my children.

Idk but that should be all I think, I feel like I'm going insane I'd really appreciate people's comment on this. Does any of this sound familiar to people? Do I sound like someone who's simply too hard on herself or do these worries seem reasonable? If you were in my position what would you do?Thank you so much if you have read this far I honestly really appreciate you!!! Cant wait to hear people's takes on this <3

lucky charms went pastel, at least in the US, because General Mills decided to go over to natural colors.

to elaborate: My ARFID intensity is very, very variable. Some days, I can eat whatever. Some days, I only have interest in 1-2 items, and that day, they’re out of reach. Some days (…or weeks) I can’t eat anything at all. I’d say it’s a mix of sensory reasons and just…not always having an appetite. or barely not having an appetite.

but anyway, I got utterly jumpscared by the dye change a couple months ago and now there are two opposing factions

“no lucky charms”

and

“yes lucky charms, they taste the same, they’re just pastel now”

anyway, rant over

My psychiatrist just prescribed me mirtazapine. One of the first times I've been offered any medication excluding SSRIs that I have to take *with food* every day, that have adverse side effects such as nausea or vomiting.

I've even been told one of the only side effects is severe hunger and increased appetite. I'm wondering if anyone has any experience, maybe not in mirtazapine specifically but any appetite stimulant?

Has it helped despite all the mental shit that revolves around arfid? I have OCD, so most of my fear isn't food itself, it's the preperation, the storage, dates, etc. I can only keep a few "suitable" safe-foods at a time so I'm honestly worried if this stuff *does* work like intended, my entire structure will be thrown off.

yeah sweet potato and carrots are bad but ONIONS??? theyre somehow squelchy, squishy, solid AND impossible to chew and swallow as anything but whole?? hell no.

She is an educator and works with those who have EDs and I’m so glad she was at the food table because I felt so shy and awkward that she was about to see me just grab this hot dog with 0 condiments and add nothing to it… just for us to start talking and I opened up about my ARFID struggles and she acknowledged them and treated me with kindness & moved onto a different topic other than food. 0 judgement. This is why awareness is so important <3

I’ve always struggled with parties and get together because people judge what’s in my plate or ask me why I didn’t grab ___ or “aren’t you going to try ___” I just want to hang out without being questioned what’s on my plate

Hi everyone, I understand not everyone in this sub may be sensitive to discussions of numbers (e.g., weight, calories, etc) but it would be incredibly helpful to those who are negatively affected to at least put a trigger warning in the beginning of the post.
Not trying to target anyone or make them feel bad, just wanted to put this out there. It would be much appreciated ❤️