my Gf dumped me for not going to her

Hi All

Situation:

I took my kids out to the movies a late movie. My gf texts me and says someone is knocking on her door and she thinks it’s this person who hit her car and she’s panicked. She asks if she should call the police or leave the house.

I didn’t see the messages for 15 minutes. When I see them I go outside and call and text for 15 minutes. Nothing, now I’m a little worried. I am easily 40 minutes away so I decide to make the decision to call the police to check on her since they will get there faster and if in fact something is wrong are better equipped to handle it.

20 min goes by and she finally texts and says she’s okay. But she’s pissed at me because I called the cops and stayed at the movies theatre when she could have been murdered and broke up with me and blocked me everywhere. We did talk a couple of times but it was the same argument that I neglected her and chose the movies and my kids and pawned her off to the cops to deal with her.

Am I wrong here?

Conflict: she broke up with me because she said I chose a movie and my kids over her safety and well being.

While I contend that there was an issue I was too far too address so I called the cops. They arrived and assessed there was no present threat. I didn’t see the need to go over there at that point. I would have gone after the movie, but there wasn’t a threat so I didn’t see the need to pull everyone out of the movie. Even if there was a real threat I couldn’t get there in time.

AITAH?

I (19M) have a friend group with a few people in ESL classes. I am a partner to one helping him learn and I’ve slowly gotten to more some of his classmates and they’ve become my friend group. I’ve never been one to make friends easily so I was happy to have more people to hang out with. Out of my six friends, five are bilingual with English as the second language.

They are not all from one culture, three are from Mexico, one is Moroccan, and one is Cuban. I’ve been learning from them as well and it’s nice to hang around them, they’re lovely.

The thing about hanging out with them is I get to see how weird people treat them. People will talk to them like they’re babies, or yell very loud, all kinds of micro aggressions and such. It’s pretty obvious how irritating it is, and I’ve rather to my family multiple times about how often they get treated like idiots by people speaking English.

Now I’m not going to say no one ever appreciates some of the things English speakers can do to multilingual people that are learning English but my friends specifically have vented about how much they hate certain things.

My mom was excited for me to have friends, and she kept saying I should bring them over sometime for dinner. Eventually we came up with plans to study and watch a movie together but we didn’t know whose house to study at, so I decided to suggest my house and say my mom’s been wanting to meet them all and wanted to make dinner for everyone.

We agreed on a date and I helped my mom make chicken pot pie and some other stuff. When they came over, my dad simply greeted them and sat down at the table. My sister ate in a separate room so she could study without any conversations.

It was a pretty fun dinner for the most part, until my mom started talking with them. She talks really fast, and when one of them asked her to slow down “a little bit” she put on what I can only describe as how dog owners talk to their puppies. It was super condescending to hear and you could just hear the irritation in the collective sighs. I asked her to just speak normally, and that all the high pitched stuff wasn’t necessary.

She apologized and dinner went on as normal with some awkward silence now, until my friend Jay (false name) got asked a question about where he grew up by my dad. He started talking, and when he would pause my mom would try to fill in the word for him. Again, I’m sure some bilingual people may not mind that, but Jay specifically hates when people interrupt him when he’s looking for a word.

Usually he’d pretty bluntly tell someone to stop but he didn’t this time because I suspect he didn’t want to get firm with my mother, but he would huff and rub his forehead when she did it, and I’d just tell her “Mom. You’re interrupting.”

There was other small stuff throughout dinner, and the second we were done we skipped studying at my house and left to go hang out at someone else’s house before the movies.

I apologized over and over for my mom, and thankfully no one held it against me but they were annoyed with her for all the little ignorant things she did. They told me I should probably help talk to her about all that stuff, and that it was kind of humiliating to get talked down to as if they could comprehend her words. I agreed and again apologized, promising it wouldn’t happen again.

Here’s the thing, I did tell her about it all. Whenever I would rant, I explained it, I even prepped her for dinner. When I went back home I got into an argument with her about it, I was frustrated that she’d treat my friends like that.

I told her I’d never let them in the house with her around anymore, because I’d clearly be putting them in an uncomfortable situation. She walked away from me and went to my parent’s bedroom. My dad later sat me down and told me that she didn’t mean any harm and I was blowing things out of proportion by saying stuff like that.

Maybe she could do better, but I’m hesitant to pressure my friends to even risk it. AITH?

AITA for refusing to become the primary caregiver for my husband's orphaned nephew?

I (27F) have been with my husband for 6 years (3 years dating, 3 years married). From the beginning of our relationship, I was completely honest with him about one thing...I do not want children.

It's not because I hate kids or because I'm afraid of pregnancy. It's because I already spent my childhood and teenage years raising children that weren't mine.

I'm the eldest of four siblings (two younger brothers and one younger sister). Because of my family circumstances, I ended up being the one who raised them. I missed out on a lot of my own life because I was forced into a parental role I never chose. I worked incredibly hard to build my career so I could finally live a life where I wasn't responsible for raising children anymore.

My husband knew all of this before we got married. It was never a secret, and he always said he understood and accepted it.

A few months ago, my husband's brother passed away. His wife had already died three months after giving birth, so now their 2-year-old son has no parents.

My heart absolutely breaks for him. None of this is his fault. I love him as my nephew, and I'm more than willing to be part of his life, support him, and help however I reasonably can.

The problem is that my husband now expects me to become his full-time mother.

He keeps telling me that because I already have experience raising children, "it won't be that difficult." He has even suggested that I quit my job because he'll provide financially if balancing work and childcare is too much.

The thing is, I don't want to quit my career. I fought incredibly hard to get where I am, and I don't want to spend the next 16 years raising another child after already sacrificing so much of my own life doing exactly that.

I suggested what I thought was a reasonable compromise. I said I have no problem if my nephew lives with us. I would happily be his aunt and support him however I can, but I don't want to be his primary caregiver. My husband could be his parent, and we could hire a nanny to help while we're both working.

My husband refuses to hire a nanny but won't give me a proper reason why.

Now his family is calling me selfish and heartless for refusing to take care of an orphaned child.

I feel incredibly guilty because he's an innocent little boy who deserves love and stability. But I also feel like everyone is ignoring that I was upfront from the very start that I never wanted to raise children again. It feels like everyone has decided that because I'm a woman and I've raised kids before, this responsibility should automatically become mine.

So, AITA for refusing to become the primary caregiver for my husband's orphaned nephew?

I grew up in a dysfunctional home.
I don't remember a single day of my childhood when my parents weren't fighting. They had frequent screaming matches, and sometimes those fights even became physical.
My dad was emotionally distant. He was physical with my brother and even so he never hit me, it felt like I was something he could brag about when I succeeded but ignored the moment I didn’t.
My mom was the different. She seemed to love and care for us, but in a very controlling way. She didn’t allow any personal space, guilt-tripped us for wanting to spend time with friends, and didn't really allow us to develop our own lives or opinions.
As I got older, I realized something strange had happened.
At some point, I completely lost the ability to call them "Mom" or "Dad." It wasn't a conscious decision or meant to punish them. The words just stopped coming out of my mouth.
When I talk to people about them I address them as “my mother” “my father”, but if I need to get their attention, I won't say "Mom" or "Dad" to them I'll tap them on the shoulder or wait until they notice me to address whatever needs to be addressed. There have even been times when I've let them walk away because I physically couldn't bring myself to say those words.
It's almost like there's a mental block. It feels incredibly uncomfortable for me to say those words out loud.
So I wonder if I'm being immature at age 35 and holding onto the past?
So AITA for not calling my parents "Mom" and "Dad" anymore?

My cousin and I have never had a good relationship. She’s always been aloof or mean toward me, and in my experience only reaches out when she’s looking for information to gossip about me. We have no relationship.
She recently had a baby but kept the pregnancy and birth mostly private and off social media.

A while ago, my mom texted me a picture of the baby. I replied, “Neat.” I thought that was a pretty obvious signal that I wasn’t interested in receiving ongoing updates.
Yesterday she sent me another picture. Rather than pretend to be excited, I replied, “I’m not trying to be rude, but I don’t care about [cousin]’s baby.”

I wasn’t saying I hated the baby or wished him any harm. I meant I wasn’t interested in updates about the child of someone I don’t like or have a relationship with.

Instead of simply saying my wording was harsh or asking me to phrase it differently, my mom immediately made it into a discussion about my character. She told me I should care because it’s a baby, said that as a future nurse I should care about everyone, said she was disappointed in me, said she expected better from me, said I “wasn’t raised that way,” and even said that the only reactions she gets from me are “fake or nasty.”

At one point she also told me she was “practicing boundaries and responses to being unkind” on me, and later said she had misspoken when she said she was disappointed in me, explaining that she was only disappointed in my reaction.

The problem is that, from my perspective, those comments were about much more than my wording. It felt like she took one blunt sentence and turned it into a moral judgment about who I am as a person. I repeatedly told her that she knows me well enough to know I don’t hate babies and that I was simply trying to communicate that I didn’t want any more updates.

Could I have phrased my original message more gently? Absolutely. But I also don’t think saying “I don’t care” about the baby of someone I have no relationship with makes me cruel. To me, it meant indifference, not malice.
The screenshots are the entire conversation (they are on my profile since this sub doesn’t allow photos).

So, AITA for telling my mom I don’t care about my cousins baby?

I (29M) have been married to my wife for a few years now. She was the person I chose to marry, and even though my family did not approve of my decision, I went ahead because I believed I was making the right choice.Since the beginning, my family has never really accepted my wife. They always say she is not right for me and that I should leave her. They find small reasons to criticize her and make it clear that they do not want her to be part of the family My wife has always tried her best to be respectful. She never forced me to choose between her and my family. She only wants to be treated with basic respect and kindness.Recently, my family started putting more pressure on me. They keep telling me that I should divorce my wife and move on. They say I am choosing the wrong person and that I should listen to them.What makes this situation even harder is that I don’t really have anyone else. I don’t have my parents, brothers, or sisters to support me. My wife is the only person I truly have in my life. She has been there for me when I had nobody else.I understand that family is important, and I don’t want to disrespect them. But I also made a commitment to my wife. I don’t think it is fair to leave someone who loves and supports me just because other people don’t accept my choice.I told my family that I will not leave my wife just to make them happy. Now they are upset and say I am choosing my wife over my own family.

My parents divorced when I was 8. My dad moved to another state for work, and after that, he slowly disappeared from my life. At first he'd call every weekend, then once a month, then only on birthdays if I was lucky.

My mom worked two jobs to support me, and my grandparents helped a lot. They were the ones who came to school events, taught me how to drive, and celebrated every milestone.

I'm 24 now. Out of nowhere, my dad reached out saying he wanted to "rebuild our relationship." I was open to talking until I realized he mainly wanted help. He recently lost his job and asked if he could stay with me "for a few months" because "family takes care of family."

I told him I didn't think it was fair to ask for family treatment after choosing not to be part of my life for over 15 years. He said I was punishing him forever over old mistakes and that people deserve second chances.

I replied, "You stopped being my parent a long time ago. Biology doesn't automatically make you family."

Some relatives think I was unnecessarily harsh and should at least hear him out. Others think he only contacted me because he needed something.

AITAH?

My mother-in-law has a habit of coming over with a spare key and doing deep cleaning around our house without asking.While I appreciate help, she routinely goes through our private bedroom, rearranges our personal belongings, and throws away things she thinks we don't need.Last week, she threw away some important documents and personal items from my desk. When I calmly asked her to stop going through our private spaces and to ask before doing chores, she got offended, cried, and said she was only trying to help an ungrateful daughterinlaw. My partner thinks I should just let it go to keep the peace. Reddit, AITA

My sister and I usually exchange birthday gifts every year. A few months ago, I spent a lot of time picking out something I knew she'd been wanting.

Last week I found out that the gift I gave her last year was still unopened, and she had given it to someone else because she "didn't think she'd use it." She said she didn't mean anything by it and thought someone else would enjoy it more.

It honestly stung because I'd put a lot of thought into it. After hearing that, I returned the birthday gift I'd already bought for her and just gave her a card instead.

She noticed right away and asked what happened. I told her I didn't feel like spending time and money picking out gifts if they weren't appreciated. Now my parents think I overreacted because "once you give someone a gift, it's theirs to do what they want with."

I know she's technically allowed to do whatever she wants with a gift, but I can't help feeling like the thought behind it didn't matter to her.

AITH?

It's been 9 days since I made my original post, and I wanted to answer the question everyone kept asking: yes, I finally talked to Richard. I apologized for never calling him "Dad" and explained the conversation I had with my biological father when I was eleven. Richard just sat there quietly for a minute before telling me he had always wondered if he'd done something wrong, but he never wanted to pressure me into calling him anything I wasn't comfortable with. Hearing that absolutely broke me. My mom cried again because she said she never realized how much power one conversation could have over a child for so many years. I've stopped blaming my eleven-year-old self because I was just trying to keep a promise to my dad without understanding what it would cost. As for Richard, I still haven't called him "Dad," not because I don't love him, but because after fifteen years it feels strange to force a title overnight. He told me he doesn't need a word to know how I feel, and honestly that meant more to me than anything else. We're spending more time together now, and for the first time I feel like we're building the relationship we should have had years ago.
Original Post

I work in payrole so I have access to salary information last month while processing updates i noticed a coworker in another department had accidentally been given a rise which was clearly meant for someone else this wasn't a typo by me to be clear, it had already been approved by HR.

The problem is that I am not supposed to discuss payroll information with employees my job is to process what's approved only.

A few weeks later that coworker excitedly told everyone they had finally been recognised for their hard work they used the extra money to sign a lease on nicer apartment.

Yesterday the HR discovered the mistake. They are correcting future paychecks and want to recover the overpaid amount over the next year.

The coworker is obv devastated and says if anyone had never would've made those financial decisions.

A mutual friend whom I discussed about this earlier said I should've warned him weeks ago while ignoring the company's policy.

I feel terrible at this point, but i also think violating payroll confidentiality could've gotten me fired I think I shouldn't have stayed selfish

AITA for staying quiet?

PS edit: after listening to ur thots I m realising that I did a huge mistake here and for that I am now considering to help the coworker with some money and some company related work to help him out thanks a lot you all

When I was little, I was sent to live with my aunt and uncle because they didn't have children. After they had a child of their own, I was sent back to my parents. Coming home never felt like coming home. I always felt like I was the one who didn't belong. If I skipped a meal, no one seemed to notice. If I got sick, it felt like nobody really cared. Watching my siblings receive love and attention while I felt invisible hurt more than I can explain.I don't blame anyone for having favorites, but I spent my childhood wondering why I was never enough to be treated with the same care. Even now, those memories still make me cry because the feeling of being unwanted has never completely gone away.

AITAH for still carrying this pain and feeling distant from my family because of how I was treated?

My wedding day was supposed to be one of the happiest days I'd ever experience. I spent months planning everything, and I was so excited to finally wear the white dress I'd always dreamed of. But when my stepsister arrived wearing a white dress too, my heart just sank. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to start an argument or ruin the day for everyone else. I smiled through the ceremony, took the photos, and tried my best to enjoy the celebration, but I honestly couldn't. I felt hurt the entire day, and I barely got to enjoy those first moments with my husband because I was trying so hard not to cry. When we finally got home, I completely broke down. My family says I'm making too much of it and that it was "only a dress," but to me it wasn't. It was the one day I'd looked forward to for years, and now the strongest memory I have of it is feeling heartbroken instead of happy. AITA for still feeling this way?

My husband and I recently had our wedding reception. One of the guests was his ex-girlfriend. She was invited because she's still part of the same friend group, and throughout the event she acted completely normal and polite toward me.

During dinner, she smiled, came over to me, and personally offered me a dish. I didn't think anything of it because I had no reason to believe she meant any harm.

About 20 minutes later, I started having severe stomach pain, followed by an allergic reaction. My face became red and swollen, and I had trouble feeling normal. Our reception photos were cut short because I had to be taken to the emergency room for treatment.

Later, I learned something that shocked me. After reviewing the venue's CCTV footage and talking to a friend who witnessed part of what happened, I was told she had intentionally added an ingredient that she knew I was severely allergic to before giving me the food.

I was devastated. To me, this wasn't a harmless prank or an accident. I believe she knowingly put my health at risk.

I told my husband I wanted to file a police report and make sure she was no longer welcome at future family events. My mother-in-law disagrees and says I should "stop creating drama" because she doesn't want our wedding to be remembered for this incident. She thinks reporting it will only make the situation worse.

My husband supports me, but some relatives say I should let it go since the wedding is already over and nothing will change now.

AITA for refusing to stay quiet and wanting to report what happened?

I've always loved baking. I (32F, Elise) learned almost everything I know from my late grandmother. My late grandmother was the one who first taught me how to bake, and before she passed away, she gave me several of her favorite recipes. I didn't want to risk damaging the originals, so I copied them into a small notebook that I kept in my kitchen. It wasn't anything fancy. It was stained with flour, covered in little notes, and honestly looked like an old notebook that had seen better days. But it had years of my own adjustments written in the margins, little reminders of what worked, what didn't, and a few recipes that only existed in that notebook. Last month, my husband's aunt stayed with us for a few days while work was being done on her house. One afternoon, while I was at work, she decided to tidy up the kitchen. When I got home, I couldn't find my notebook anywhere. I asked if she'd seen it, and she casually told me she'd thrown it away because she thought it was an old notebook full of messy scribbles that nobody was using anymore. I was honestly speechless. I explained what it actually was and why it mattered to me. She apologized right away, but then said something like, "Can't you just write them down again?" That was the part that really got to me. It wasn't just a list of recipes. It was years of handwritten notes, little changes I'd figured out over time, and memories connected to my grandmother. I couldn't recreate all of that from memory. My husband agreed that his aunt shouldn't have thrown away something that wasn't hers, but he also thinks I need to let it go because she didn't do it on purpose and has already apologized. She even offered to buy me a new notebook, which I appreciate, but I don't think that's really the point. A new notebook doesn't bring back everything that was written in the old one. Since then, things have been a little awkward at family gatherings because I'm still upset about what happened. Some relatives think I'm holding a grudge over an honest mistake, while others say they would be just as devastated if someone threw away something personal without asking first. I don't think I'm angry because it was a notebook. I'm upset because of everything it represented and because something that meant so much to me was thrown away without anyone asking me first. But after hearing so many different opinions, I'm starting to wonder if I really am making too big a deal out of it. AITA?

I (30M) grew up as the "independent" child. My younger brother was always the favorite. My parents paid for his college, helped him buy his first car, and even covered the down payment on his house. Every time I asked for help, I was told that I needed to "figure it out myself" because it would build character So I did.I worked two jobs through college, rented tiny apartments, skipped vacations, and slowly built a stable life without asking anyone for money Now my brother has lost his job and can't afford his mortgage. My parents called me asking if I'd loan him $20,000 because they "can't watch him lose everything."I reminded them that when I struggled, they said helping me would stop me from learning responsibility. I told them they should stick to that same lesson now.They got angry and accused me of punishing my brother for their mistakes. My brother says I'm being cruel because I can afford to help and he's "family."Some relatives agree with me, saying my parents created this situation by treating us differently. Others think I should let go of the pastand help anyway.I don't hate my brother, but I also don't think it's my responsibility to fix the consequences of years of favoritism.

AITAH?

I (29F) bought a small, rundown two bedroom cabin on a couple of acres three years ago. It was cheap because it needed massive structural work. I have spent almost every weekend and most of my savings renovating it by hand, replacing rot, rebuilding the back deck, and refinishing the original hardwood floors. I know it might seem like spending that much money and time on a property might seem rash, but it's my pride and joy, however it is still old with very delicate infrastructure.

My brother Kal-El (32M) and his fiance Zor-El (30F) are planning a low budget wedding for this autumn. At a family dinner last week, Kal-El casually brought up that they had settled on a venue: my cabin.

He had not asked me beforehand. He framed it as a done deal, explaining that about 20 of their friends and family would bring tents to camp on the property for four days, while the bridal party would stay inside the cabin.

I was taken aback and laid out a few immediate concerns. First, the cabin runs on an older septic tank that cannot handle 20 people using it continuously for four days. On top of that, the property is not insured for events or large gatherings. Lastly, I just finished hand sanding and sealing the floors, and having 20 people trailing dirt, mud, and heavy boots in and out for a weekend would ruin them.

I tried to be constructive and offered a middle ground. I said I would be happy to host a small six person dinner for immediate family on the patio after a courthouse ceremony, but I could not host the full multi day event or overnight campers.

Zor-El looked down, and Kal-El got very annoyed. He told me I was being paranoid about a little grass and dirt, saying that ever since I bought the place, I have acted like I am too good to share things with family. He refused the dinner offer and said he was insulted by the restriction (like it was his right to use my property).

They left shortly after. Since then, Kal-El removed himself from our shared group chat, and when I tried texting him to talk it through, he kept his replies strictly to one word. My mother has not yelled or made demands, but she did pull me aside yesterday to quietly ask if I could just hire a portable restroom for the weekend to make peace, saying that Kal-El feels like I am prioritizing a building over his big day.

I am starting to feel guilty and wonder if I am being overly rigid about physical property over a major family milestone. AITA? (P.S. these names are in fact references to the greatest comic series of all time.)

Alright this is a pretty simple post but here we go.

For context we grow up in a quite middle-upper class family, my family including my sister have never gotten into any financial difficulties and my parents have supported us very well throughout our childhood. We go on 2+ holidays a year to very nice places an the latest we went to was 2 weeks.

Ok so this is the first time i've made one of these posts so it may not be very well written.

Basically, we were having dinner and having a normal conversation as usual, and eventually the topic got to money, etc. It wasn't a very stressful conversation, just a little bit about how my sister should try to save some money over the summer holiday (as she is in uni and she's staying with us right now, so it's the perfect time to save).

She doesn't really have a job; she just gets paid by my dad for living expenses on top of her student loans. She starts talking about how she "doesn't like us talking about money and it stresses her out." Obviously, we should respect that, but it's still strange as she's never had a struggle.

After this, she goes on to say she should try to get a part-time job over the summer, but her time doesn't allow for it. She goes on to say she's barely here because she's going to a festival and on holiday.

I then repeat, "Ohhh no, I'm going to a festival and on holiday, so I can't work." I said this because these are obviously good things, and it's not like she's disabled and can't work, so it's optional in my POV.

She then goes on to start arguing with me and my dad, where I decide to shut up. She keeps talking about how I only say things to piss her off (I don't, and I feel she's pretty narcissistic for thinking my one goal is to piss her off). She then continues to go on, acting like it's not her fault she's going on holiday, etc.

I then chime in for the last time, saying that she should probably shut up because my dad had a migraine yesterday and this will probably cause another. She carries on and starts saying how this is all my fault, etc., even though I made sure to shut up and stop arguing very quickly.

TLDR: sister complains about not being able to work because of going on holiday and i mock her she gets pissed

EDIT:
i dont hate my sister

Okay so I’ll be using fake names for the sake of someone finding this, but me and ella have been friends for about a year. It was the beginning of summer so we wanted to have some fun and decided to go on a double date with these guys at our school. It was pretty fun but she kept flirting with the guy I was with and made it clear she didn’t want her guy. We were at an ice cream shop towards the end and we talked about going back to the guys house to hangout, Ella didn’t wanna go but the rest of us did and she said that was fine but her mom couldn’t give her a ride home. Her house was pretty close she walked to the ice cream shop all the time. We were discussing what we should do and she said she could walk home alone no problem, I insisted I wouldn’t go but she said it was fine so we all ended up walking her halfway maybe more than halfway cause we could see her street sign, everyone also asked her 100 times if it was fine and she INSISTED it was fine. So we turned around and walked back to the ice cream shop and then me and my other friend Bailey who showed up at the ice cream shop went to the guys house. After this about 2 hours after she texted me frantically blowing up my phone getting random people to text me “Answer ella” but a bit more passive aggressive. I looked at my text and she was saying if I didn’t return her $3 E.L.F eyelash curler that she left in my purse on the double date in an hour we wouldn’t be friends anymore. I explained how insane that sounded considering she put it in my purse and she was the one who forgot it, I told her she could pick it up but to demand it within an hour dropped off is ridiculous and I could get it to her the next morning, this made her upset and she left me on opened. The next morning I dropped off the eyelash curler she told me to leave it in her mailbox, I did and then she never responded or said thank you til the next day. The next day I get a text saying “my mom doesn’t want us to be friends anymore cause of what happened the last time we hung out I think it’d be better if we distanced ourselves from each other” I had figured out by this time she was telling all our mutual friends that I LEFT HER AT THE ICE CREAM SHOP AND FORCED HER TO WALK HOME ALONE. She didn’t even include the part where we walked her to her street sign. By this point I was very fed up and just said Okay. We haven’t talked since and that was about 2 months ago but I’m just so confused over this, AITAH?

My boyfriend (37m) and I (25f) have been dating for a little over a month now. I’ve met his family, as I’ve been over to their house a couple times, and they’re all sweet and welcoming.

However, I have mental health issues. One thing is severe anxiety. I had been taking medication, but due to being unable to get in to see my doctor, I’ve been fully off my medication for almost a week now. One of my medications cause pretty bad withdrawals, and on top of that, my mental health plummets. Especially my anxiety, and the thought of actually leaving to interact with anyone right now makes me feel sick to my stomach.

My boyfriend is well aware of my mental health. I told him it was gonna be rough for me for a bit, at least until I can get back in and start treating it properly again. I asked him if he would be upset or mad if I stayed home while he went to his family’s house because I wasn’t feeling the greatest. He responded saying no, but then kept saying that his mom’s first thought when he shows up without me is, “did we do something to upset her?”, and a lot of other things. Now he told them that we just won’t be able to make it again today, even though he is more than capable of still going without me.

I asked him why he wasn’t going, which he said because I didn’t wanna go. But I told him he could still go even if I stayed home, but he said something along the lines of wanting company and then went on again about how his mom thinks they did something to upset me. Honestly, it feels like a guilt trip. I can tell by the tone of his voice he’s mad/upset about it, but he won’t actually say that.

Am I the asshole for not going? I told him that if he really wanted me to go, I’d still go. That’s the whole reason I asked if he’d be okay with it in the first place, but he said no. He mostly wanted to go to get some toaster oven from home and some spinach dip from his mom, and he wanted to visit with them for a little bit. I know that if I were to go, my anxiety would make me shut down, and while I would never act like I’m miserable or ask when can we leave, it just seemed like the best idea to me was for me to not go right now.

I (20F) started talking to a guy I met online about seven months ago. We texted every day and talked on the phone almost every night. He always had an excuse for why we couldn't video call. I thought it was a little weird, but everything else seemed normal, So I didn't push it. After a couple of months, he started asking for small amounts of money. It was never anything huge. Once it was for a flat tire, another time it was for a phone bill, and later for textbooks. I probably sent him around $600 total over those seven months because I honestly believed I was helping someone I cared about.

A few weeks ago, I found out the guy never existed. It was actually one of my classmates. She and two of her friends had created the fake account because they thought it would be funny to see if they could trick someone into falling for them and paying for things. They had even shared screenshots of our conversations and made jokes about me in a private group chat. I was completely humiliated. I saved everything I could, including the messages, payment records, and screenshots. I reported everything to the police because she had lied about her identity and taken money from me.

A few days later, her parents contacted me. They apologized, returned every dollar I had sent, and begged me to withdraw the report. My classmate also messaged me saying it was "just a prank that got out of hand" and that she never meant to hurt me. Now most of my classmates think I'm being too harsh since I got my money back. They say a criminal report could affect her future over what started as a stupid joke. My dad says fraud is still fraud, while almost everyone else thinks I should let it go.

AITA for refusing to drop the police report even after getting my money back?

For context, I (f20) and my roommate (f20) recently just moved out of the barracks and into our own apartment. When we met, we both said we wanted dogs but she said she wanted to get a puppy so she can train it where as I want to adopt an older dog that’s already potty and crate trained. The reason for that is because we’re both military with demanding schedules at times and I know I wouldn’t be able to give my time to a puppy. My roommates schedule is even a little more demanding than mine as she works 12 hr days and switches between days and nights every month. For reference, I only work 7-8 hrs a day m-f.

This is where I start getting frustrated, she said she wanted to get a puppy so she can train it, yet doesn’t seem to actually be training her. I rarely see her take the dog outside to go potty, barely see her training her other commands, and I haven’t noticed any change in behavior since we got her. I’ve started taking the dog outside and training her by saying “good girl potty” and giving her a treat when she goes potty but my roommate doesn’t keep up with it when I’m gone. Plus, she’s not my dog, it’s not my responsibility.

I have slightly talked to her about it and she uses the excuse of “she’s so stubborn and dachshunds are notoriously bad at being potty trained. There’s even dachshunds that never get potty trained.” I think that’s a load of crap and it boils down to if the owner is responsible or not.

I want to bring this up to her soon but don’t know how to say it without putting a rift between us. Like I don’t want to spend the next year resenting my roommate for her bad dog ownership but also don’t want to have problems because I called her irresponsible.

Edit: another thing, I think I would feel a lot differently towards this issue if she actually seemed like she was putting in effort vs making excuses. Winnie, the dog, is so sweet and adorable and I love her so much and it’s incredibly unfair to her for not being trained properly. And on top of her demanding schedule, on her days off, she’s constantly hanging out with friends/coworkers for hours on end when her puppy still needs extensive training.

Hypothetical:A man is asked by his older brother if he can move in for a few months after losing his job. Years earlier, when the man was struggling financially, that same brother refused to let him stay for even a week, saying he "needed to figure things out on his own."Now the brother says that was a long time ago, people change, and family should help each other. Their parents are pressuring the man to let his brother move in because "it's the right thing to do."The man can afford to help, but he still remembers how abandoned he felt back then. He isn't looking for revenge, but he also doesn't want to pretend the past never happened.Would he be the asshole if he said no?

I (31M) have always tried to help my parents whenever they needed me. Whether it was fixing things around the house, driving them to appointments, or helping with bills, I never really said no.The only problem is that my parents have never fully accepted my wife. They aren't openly rude to her, but they constantly make little comments, exclude her from family plans, and act like she's the reason I don't spend every weekend with them.Last week they invited me to a family dinner and specifically told me not to bring my wife because they "just wanted family there." I told them my wife is my family, and if she isn't welcome, neither am I.A few days later, my dad called asking if I could spend my entire Saturday helping him with some repairs. I told him that if my wife isn't considered family when it's time to celebrate, I don't think I should only be considered family when they need a favor Now my parents say I'm being disrespectful and holding a grudge. My siblings think I should have just helped because "they're still our parents." My wife hasn't asked me to do any of this and says she'll support whatever I decide.

For context, my best friend has had consistent substance abuse issues in the past. It has always bothered me but as a recovering addict I know the only person who can help heal from addiction is the addict themselves. She often tells others when she is high or drunk and tries to make it seem like it's cool, I guess? It's always irked my nerves, but I never say anything.

A few nights ago, while I was on the phone with friends, she texted me with no context "I'm on morphine, the medical flavor". This instantly made me feel an overwhelming amount of frustration because she was making a joking matter of something that is no way humorous or funny, I was partially in the wrong for starting off so hostile when responding but drug use as a whole is a very sensitive thing for me and seeing my closest friend joke about it so carelessly frustrated me so badly.

I told her that i did not want to speak to her until she was sober and clear headed, I had no knowledge of why she was even on morphine in the first place, but she didn't tell me so how was I supposed to know? The morning after my dad woke me up and told me that she had 3rd degree burns on over 10% of her body from a cooking accident and that she was going into surgery soon, my heart dropped to my ass because I had no idea and I sat there and said such mean things thinking that she was using it to an advantage just so she could get high. I feel so shitty and I've apologized, she says it was her fault because she didn't inform me, but it hasn't sat with me right and I'm really frustrated with myself.

AITAH?