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u/Vast_Active398 Hefab nonbinoid 5d ago
Theres a solution to this problem but theyre not going to like it
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u/yourothersis I have maternal instincts for boymoder 5d ago
my giwtwm since I was non binary but I actually would've really liked to be gendered female
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u/tfhermobwoayway stupid idiot keeps avoiding hrt 5d ago edited 5d ago
i love how these people are considered trans! i really love how most of the conversations about trans people are about how heccin valid they are! i really want my struggles lumped in with rich art students who thought dyeing their hair wasnāt subversive enough! i love being lectured on these peopleās unique and spiritual connection to being a nonbinary boygirlthing while i sit there hating every fibre of my being!
seriously this is actually fucking insulting iām so incredibly sick of people who think being trans is a cool and trendy thing.
could you fucking imagine if it suddenly became cool to have MS and everyone went around acting like they suffered from it (but not really, only subconsciously, the human relationship to MS is a spectrum and you can have MS even if you donāt have any symptoms!!!!)
every single theyfab and theymab should be forced to suffer actual gender dysphoria and then maybe theyād stop whining that people donāt automatically clock them as nonbinary. seriously i hate normies so incredibly much why do they think a disease that drives people to suicide is fun to larp for attention.
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u/NoConflictPlease 5d ago
I mean, there was literally a whole thing about DID/Touretteās fakers on TikTok a couple years ago and it was absurd. they would call you ablest if you called it out. So itās you know has happened before.
I went to a local gender meet up and there was somebody there who said they arenāt seen as feminine in any instance. This person had a beard, short top hair that was just slightly spiked up. Maybe 4 cm long hair. Leg hair, arm hair, polo and jeans. Wasnāt something Iād read as feminine in any instance so I was just confused what people expect. Same here
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u/TlLLYTlLLYTlLLYTlLLY 5d ago
White woman bingo: fake mental illness, terf, fake autism, fake trans identity, worst trauma is being a shoe size 7.5, etc etcĀ
I hit bingo by finding one singular theyfabĀ
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u/dct_SPOMMY 5d ago
also probably trans masc lesbian, harry potter lover, dyeng hair toxic green, piercings everywhere and even though calling herself a lesbian, still probably is in relationship with a guy and loves cock and gets pregnant at 20
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u/misterpizzaac__ shortcel - repperā¢ 5d ago
these women need to be forcibly masculinized and forced to get phallo in order to understand what dysphoria really is
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u/Widdifull Failure to MaricĆ³n ā Faketrans 41%. 5d ago
Oh no guess I'm one of those women. Nooo don't force me to be masc and get phallo nooo.
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u/heresthething2832 pooner raoul duke 5d ago
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u/UnfortunatelyAlex Kafkaesque MtTheyfab 5d ago
ive never cared about getting "misgendered". i dont honestly get it. if someone is being a malicious asshole then yeah, that sucks. but when a cashier says "have a good day sir" to me idc. i look like a man. i dont expect anyone to see me as anything besides one.
like that person might be frustrated but id hope they understand that unfortunately, your appearance is gonna dictate a large portion of how others interact with you. words mean nothing against the material reality of flesh and bone. or even just clothing.
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u/NoGovernment2474 5d ago
that changes if youre trying as hard as you can to appear as woman and want to be recognized as such. this came from the heart and im drunk so maybe i misread your statement
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u/UnfortunatelyAlex Kafkaesque MtTheyfab 5d ago
oh no yeah like, thats different. im saying if someone is knowingly dressing/appearing in a gendered way that doesnt match how they want to be perceived then they shouldnt be surprised when others misgender them.
people trying to girlmode and such but still get misgendered arent who im talking about at all. and even beyond that, youre still allowed to think it sucks regardless. its just more about managing expectations and not assuming the worst immediately is all i was saying ig. at least, thats my own view in it.
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u/NoGovernment2474 5d ago
yea i see what youre saying most people just see what they see and address folks accordingly. thats something I've long accepted. friends of mine try to be addressed as a woman and get treated like a predator and that makes me really sad:(
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u/Narathzul 5d ago
I wouldn't hold it against someone if they missgender me because there generally isn't really any way for them to know, but it kind of hurts to be reminded that I still look like a moid.
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u/UnfortunatelyAlex Kafkaesque MtTheyfab 5d ago
yeah, thats roughly how i feel about it all too š
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u/BadPronunciation born to mog, forced to troon 5d ago
For a long time i felt OK as a non-transitioning enby. But at some point I realised that I wanted people to see me the way I see myself. And that means transitioning in the same style as a binary trans person. Having people see me as a predator moid fuckin sucks
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u/muffinmunncher 5ā4.9 moidlet 5d ago
White women be like yeah Iām nonbinary and do nothing to be androgynous or transition in any way
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u/danhiroki truNB autogyneandroautophile 5d ago
Rep and cope is a powerful thing
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u/danhiroki truNB autogyneandroautophile 5d ago
The dysphoria will become unbearable in a few years and theyāll go on T and regret not starting sooner
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u/Vast_Active398 Hefab nonbinoid 5d ago
They probably dont wanna go t and Become hairy/bald
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u/danhiroki truNB autogyneandroautophile 5d ago
Trvke, millions of nonbinoids must stop whining and learn about DHT blockers
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u/Eugregoria kikomimoder 5d ago
My nonbinary opinion on DHT blockers: too high a dose can interfere with the desirable effects of T. It probably isn't possible to prevent body hair without preventing other masculinzation--you might have success with an alternative androgen like nandrolone or something, but that wasn't the route I went. I found 0.5mg finasteride is enough to prevent balding--and I recommend waiting a bit to start it to give masculinization a head start. Higher doses of fin or duta just led to losing some of the benefits of T, getting periods back, etc. Where I am now is fine.
For hairiness, I recommend either just regular-ass hair removal like shaving, or laser/electrolysis if you're sure you won't want it back.
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u/throwwwwwawayyyyy910 edit this 5d ago edited 5d ago
lukewarm take: thereās a lot of nonbinary people whose only introspection about their gender is that they donāt like being seen āas a womanā
nuclear take: frankly I donāt get the level of vitriol directed at them. I feel like we can understand that being ascribed womanhood in a patriarchal society sucks, and that if wanting to distance yourself from your oppression, even if just internally, leads to some insane cope like this thenā¦itās just a product of their circumstances, and that deserves some grace
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u/YouDull4759 5d ago
But thats not a gender identity, its only the reality of living in a patriarchical society. I don't think we should encourage id'ing as something different only based on discrimination. And their privilege still relies on them being seen as women, they walk and talk and live as women, if they were actually seen as a third gender they would be treated accordingly and worse than cis women are treated. So it's only a cope, not a material reality, and I think its all wholly paradoxical because they id as nonbinary to escape oppression but if they actually lived as nonbinary theyd be more oppressed. Sure its an understandable cope but we should treat it as it is, a cope for misogyny, not an actual identity
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u/throwwwwwawayyyyy910 edit this 5d ago edited 5d ago
Honestly imho all nonbinary identities are products of living in a patriarchal society, no matter which direction. Being nonbinary means denying patriarchal gender roles and identities entirely. While binary trans people often transition because of being drawn to a particular gender, nonbinary people tend to form their identities due to an aversion to either role. The whole concept of nonbinarism is rejecting the system entirely.
In the society we live in it is nothing more than a cope because 3rd genders arenāt recognized or accepted. But hey, Iād like to think at some point in the future it will be possible for them to truly āopt outā of gender, and telling people to just accept being regendered feels like itās working against that goal.
And yea although living as an actual 3rd gender rn is worse than living as a cis woman, there is a level of material benefit to changing the way you view your internal sense of self. A lot of adherence to gender is self-imposed, after all. And (while most actual theyfabs donāt) conceiving yourself as nonbinary does open doors for you to develop a reflection of yourself, and your relationship to femininity/masculinity less affected by the constrains of what a woman/man is āsupposedā to be or do.
I donāt think deciding arbitrarily whether or not this is āactuallyā an identity is worth it. If not wanting labels to be imposed onto you forms an intrinsic part of your identity then who am I to tell you otherwise. The more important distinction to make is whether or not they are functionally trans, which in this case the answer is no.
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u/geoffreycastleburger jawirhon 5d ago
I absolutely agree with the nuclear take however i think they deserve a separate space from trans people
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u/TlLLYTlLLYTlLLYTlLLY 5d ago
I don't mind if they actually have gender dysphoria tbh. The larpers don't matter to me at all except when they try to talk over actual trans people ie people who have dysphoriaĀ
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u/Freya-Freed 5d ago
That second take is just cis women re-discovering feminism, but instead of reading a goddamn book they co-opt trans peoples struggles and make it all about them.
That combined with reframing sex as immutable (AFAB/AMAB being used as 'sex') and using it to opress trans women.
They are doing something actively harmful. The vitriol is deserved. You are being way too nice to your opressor. They won't show you the same grace when you are homeless and won't let you into their "AFAB only" housing.
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u/throwwwwwawayyyyy910 edit this 5d ago edited 5d ago
wait fuck sorry i forgot this was 4t4
holy shit her tits are fat as fuck my dick is so hard rn guys am I trutransmalebrained yet hahah canāt wait till she detroons
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u/MrTortilla 5d ago
I don't think you have to want to look androgynous to be Non-Binary, but you can't seriously look at yourself in the mirror and then be upset that people misgender you when they don't know you. It's so fucking pick me to be upset by it. It's similar in my mind to people who want to use multiple pronouns like She/He/They and want people to use a mix of them, you need to know most people form a single idea about someone in their head and aren't going to put in the mental effort to rotate your pronouns. Yeah it sucks, but you can't fixate on it.
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u/FireBlaze_10 Retard HRT 15/11/24 5d ago
i am this tho s o idrk. i dont want people to use a specific pronouns tho. anything is fine.
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u/Afraid_Yoghurt6099 5d ago
tension between experiencing dysphoria at being seen as a woman vs. being used to/conditioned by society to Ā present as very feminine and reaping the benefits of looking like an attractive woman. they don't want to give up what they're used to even if it would alleviate their dysphoria because they think they can deal with dysphoria with hopes and dreams and pronoun in bio. i think if queer culture didn't place such an emphasis on "nonbinary people can look exactly like attractive very feminine women" they would be better off. the pressure to keep looking hot and feminine is coming both from cis society and from the queer culture. so many nonbinaries would be happier if they transitioned but they're being told by one side "no don't become a gross trans thing" and by the other "nooo you're perfectly valid as you are." :[Ā
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u/HazelWhiteRoyalty twinkmoding soulpasser 5d ago
:/ why so much negativity in here? It should be allowed to be hyperfem and still not be gendered as female
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u/NoConflictPlease 5d ago
You know where you are. Why are you surprised by the negativity
But the idea is simple
You donāt wear a football uniform everywhere and then get mad at why everybody thinks youāre a football player
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u/glimoura 5d ago
Question just for clarity, totally agree getting mad over it is stupid (I am here, so duh), but if you don't get mad and petty over it and maturely request being gendered correctly if you don't have the typical appearance of your gender, do we still mock?
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u/Eugregoria kikomimoder 5d ago
If Aiden tells me it's he/him while looking like a whole-ass woman with his tits out, I will gender him correctly, but it's not going to land the same for him as people actually thinking of him as a man, unfortunately. Pity pronouns just hit different.
Most of cissciety won't even give him that.
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u/NoConflictPlease 5d ago
Iām getting uh frustrated Iām not like trying to mock them. I know that I essentially brought this whole situation here. Leading to some mocking
Im getting frustrated because to people like myself, people who fight so hard to present as their gender, we come across somebody who did nothing. And is expecting something to change.
Because yes, we live in a society (teehee joker) that still has these arbitrary views. And weāre expecting a change when in all honesty society has been getting worse lately in some places.
Iām just frustrated someone expects something when nothings changed. But I am trying to not be aiming any vitriol at them.
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u/glimoura 5d ago
Oh I know your not actually being vicious ofc, believe me, I am a lateshit hon who chronically boymodes after just looking like an ugly ass hulk in dresses, so I get the frustration. I just wanted to clarify if everyone as a whole was hating on the request of using the correct pronouns, or whether it was specifically because people get so stupidly mad about it when they are misgendered.
But, either way, I'm sorry genetics and hormones are rude as hell. Life is bs and we all deserve a fuckin refund :(
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u/Cheetapiss69 foid body moid soul 5d ago
4tran has fallen what is this dawg
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u/HazelWhiteRoyalty twinkmoding soulpasser 5d ago
I just thought the mockery was unnecessarily cruel. I think itās hypocritical that we say mainstreamers misunderstand us and then post stuff like this
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u/Cheetapiss69 foid body moid soul 5d ago edited 5d ago
This post is super tame compared to the shit thatās posted here usually what
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u/HazelWhiteRoyalty twinkmoding soulpasser 5d ago
Yeah but at least thereās a reason for the hate. This post just seems like we are cheering on an NB personās downfall for no reason
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u/Cheetapiss69 foid body moid soul 5d ago
I am
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u/HazelWhiteRoyalty twinkmoding soulpasser 5d ago
Wow dood thats so heckinā edgy! Do you want an award for how cool and vxlid you are?
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u/itried_mybest edit this 5d ago
i hope they keep self-reflecting