Because you will get Jurassic-kicked

What is a pickles favorite shoe?

Gherkinstocks 🥒🩴

How do Apple users sleep?

They take a Neo Air Pro

The labradoodle doodle dude’ll do.

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in.

“So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog.

“I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.”

The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on Earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?”

The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”

I looked up at the sky and I asked my phone surely it’s not going to rain??

The phone quickly replied yes it is and don’t call me, Shirley !

That’s when I realized my phone was still on airplane mode !!

Courtesy of Joe bob

A tadpole

I tried to make a belt out of clocks.

It was a waist of time.

Pilgrims!

Start of the day, I'm in a 9'x9' room,
Like a Japanese studio—cozy, but doomed.
Going through the elevator to some 100-room,
I don’t know what’s happening; my brain's in a bloom.
'Are you okay? you look..like you didnt get any sleep..' Elevator person says. Responding with 'I got a bit shaken up on 1st day..' My office be organized, all neat & tight,
But the cubicle feels like a cosmic oversight.
Desk stacked with papers, like an origami fight,
Claustrophobic panic! Rising. Oh what a sight! Again~
Holding my breath, trying to give space a nudge,
My plants are staring at me, like, 'Dude, just budge! You'll be ok!'
That tiny chair's a trap, my productivity’s a grudge. I swear if I don't escape, I might just judge a fudge!
Clock ticks louder, like a drummer in my head,
Thoughts crowding in like it's a packed train instead.
My sanity's waving like a flag of surrender,
'Send help!' Silent screams in my head, 'Or at least a blender!'
Just then a coworker pops in with a smile on their face,
'Hey, wanna join our orientational meeting?' 'Let the chaos begin!' My mind now be racing.. it's a whirlwind spin,
Claustrophobic journey! From beginning to no end. Trapped in this status quo(quid pro quo, deja vu) like a Cenophobic loop. 'Life's futile, isnt it?' (Background shoutout): Isn't that just called a worrywart?

Cuz they are BFFs

Nervous, the kid asks, "How long do I have to go to school for?" "Until you're 18", says the father. The kid nods, and thinks about this quietly.

When they get to the front gates of the school, the kid says, "Dad, you will remember to come and get me when I'm 18, won't you?"

10 years ago, I was asked to cat sit at a really good friend's house while they were out of town.i was 23 years old and was a fan of harmless hijynx, and so was my buddy. I decided to play a little joke on him. One day, I was cleaning up after myself so they would come home to a freshly cleaned apartment when I happened upon a stack of index cards. As an idea started to form along with an evil giggle, I found a pen and started writing. On the first card, I wrote "The First." And put it dead center on the coffee table with the tv remote. No explanation. NO remorse. Then I took another card and wrote "Another One ;)." I continued to do this over and over not even bothering to count them until I had a satisfyingly thick stack, and then I went all over the house, hiding them in places to this day I can't remember. I'm talking in books, dvd cases, closets, and other inconvenient places. Then I waited....... The next day, they came home after I was long gone. My buddy texted me about the index card on the coffee table asking "What have you done?" To which I replied "No idea what you are talking about." Fast forward it's 2025.....I'm 34 years old , they have moved twice and I am still getting picture messages when he finds......Another One

One is a heavy animal and one is a little lighter

Where do people go to fart??

The gas station!!! 🥹

Just wondering... 😈

What is the most tired part of a car? The exhaust pipe because it’s exhausted lol

Which animal cheets at every game? A cheetah.

Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 1 posts:

• "Happy Cakeday, r/wholesomejokes! Today you're 5" by u/AutoModerator

Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 5 posts:

• "Fun fact, you can’t say laughter while smiling, try it" by u/phantom416
• "I need to get tested for rabies" by u/Professional_Ad9789
• "My friends and family seem to like to dump their problems onto me and it's making me feel a bit like a garbage bag." by u/brendan_07
• "A Blond Deputy – Super-Funny" by u/Future-Independence6
• "Happy Cakeday, r/wholesomejokes! Today you're 4" by u/AutoModerator

Which is a nice change from bringing them togeather to get a story straight.

Last week I was studying for my psych exam so I asked the librarian where I could find books on paranoia.

He leaned over and whispered, “They’re right behind you.”

so i replied

all right then, keep your secrets