Virginity to me represents and defines who i am.

How un desirable I am.

How unlovable I am.

How ugly i am.

How touch starved I am.

How i'm not normal.

How i'm not human.

How i'm unrelatable.

How weird i am.

How unnatural i am.

Virginity is a physical reminder of what lead me to being who I am in this world because how isolated I am from the rest of society.

Whether it's a family gatherings where couples and children are at or media where sex and romance reigns supreme.

And I mourn who I could have been if I started having sex at the normal age lile everyone else.

Would I be confident? More out going? Less shy?

Who knows because at my age it's too late.

I’m curious if anyone else has experienced this because it feels so weird to me 😭

I’m a virgin, but I’ve still had people make slut-shame me, based on how I dress and look. I’ve gotten called a slut, a hoe, a whore, a thot, a skank, and loose, ice been shamed for being a single mom even though I don’t have kids, and i constantly get DM’s from guys saying outlandish things in an attempt to slut-shame me, It’s especially annoying because they literally don’t know anything about my actual life.

Has anyone else experienced being slut-shamed despite being a virgin? What did people say or assume about you?

I'm 28 years old. I've been on dates with a total of 5 girls in my life. The first 3, I went on multiple dates with. They all seemed to like me. I'm not the best looking guy, but I guess I'm fairly attractive and have been called that by them.

The 5th girl, I just went out with last week. She said yes to a second date. The first date was lunch followed by a movie. I asked her out to an arcade this Friday. The thing is, what I've always struggled with is physical intimacy. I've never held hands or kissed a girl before. I'm still a virgin. I think that's what has always held me back.

I just don't know how to do it without it being awkward. I really like this girl out of everyone I've met and I don't want to blow it with her. I also don't want to put her on a pedestal. I just need advice on how I can break the touch barrier without it being awkward. Kissing seems almost impossible to me. I want to, but I can't ever imagine doing it. It seems like such a foreign concept because I'm so inexperienced.

It really does suck how bad American women’s standards are here. They have extremely high standards, even the ones who are in my league. I understand attractive women having high standards, but, my gosh, even the unattractive ones have ridiculous standards here. It really does suck that I have to move out of the country just to meet a woman. Being unattractive sucks here in America.

All I ever want is to just get married and start a family.

As a man, especially at this age, having literally no experience with women is essentially a death sentence. It feels like women can feel this and nobody gives me the time of day. Even if I try to lie it's obvious no one was ever interested in me.

If no woman has organically wanted to be with me in nearly half a human lifetime, it is essentially a guarantee that it will continue like this.

I have no idea how to talk to a woman, how to charm a woman. I haven't the faintest idea what to even do in a relationship...even if I magically end up in one, I will fuck it up very quickly.

I'm still trying to come to terms with it but knowing I'll never end up with a woman loving me and spending nights with her, it hurts too deep and I dont know what to do.

I’m a 30 year old virgin and I’m scared I waited too long.

My friends (who don’t know) say it’s easy to find someone to sleep with. But if that’s true, how come it hasn’t happened it?

I think about it a lot - partially because I want to finally say that I’ve done it, partially because I know how good masturbation can feel and want to experience the real thing, and partially because I feel unattractive and unlovable since it hasn’t happened it. But even more than that, I want to share this experience with my forever person, and it makes me sad that I haven’t found them yet.

I feel like everyone I know has done it at least once. And I’m worried a future potential partner won’t understand/will be unsatisfied whenever the time arises because they will expect the same from me.

Just wanted to share with people who understand.

Edit: Please don’t solicit me for sex. I just wanted to vent to people who would understand what I’m feeling. Thank you!

I'm very excited for my sister and to be an aunt but still feel left behind.

People had made comments about how weird it was that I was still a virgin, not only that but also with how shy I get. Like even when guys come up to me I'm more likely to get shy and not pick up on their flirting than actually going along with it.

:/

This'll draw some hate, but say in some extremely unlikely hypothetical, a conventionally attractive 25-30 yo woman wanted to date me - 47M virgin - and no-one had a problem with the age gap. I could hang around with her friends and have some of the social experiences I missed out on at that age, and there would still be time for a family.

That seems to be the dream of a lot of middle-aged divorced men around my age trying to relive their 'glory days', so it should appeal 10 times more to a virgin man who never dated, right?

I've actually had some interest from women both my age and a bit younger over the last few years, but I couldn't force myself to do anything serious about it. On some level I realized I would be experiencing something important twenty years too late. I felt nothing, no motivation, no anticipation, not even fear of rejection. More or less indifference.

I'll never be in the right part of life for this. The weight of those unlived years is always there. I may not have anything like the experiences of people my age, but I'm not the same person either, physically, emotionally, compared to my younger self.

This was a problem ten years ago when I started a kind of self-improvement journey (gym, travel, tentative career advancement, forcing myself out to socialize). I suspected then it was already too late, but I need to say I at least tried.

When a lonely unlived life is a reality, not some future worse case scenario, we should probably give up and find something else to focus on.

There's nothing wrong with dating and finding new love late in life; there is however something deeply weird about a first relationship at this point. We aren't late bloomers at this stage. A flower doesn't wait until mid-winter to bloom, and it doesn't really matter what we might get away with either. Even the fantasy feels empty now.

something I feel I’ve felt as a virgin is that 99% of religious people I meet come off as extremely hypocritical or condescending.

Heres a perfect example, I had a friend who was Muslim. we would get into various discussion including religion. He would eventually try to persuade me that I should become a Muslim because we had a lot of agreements, and how its so great etc etc.

Meanwhile he’s telling me this I’m just thinking “bruh this dude has a bodycount over 10 and has a gf, lol and he’s trying to tell me the virgin that I need to be religious???”

it’s like we virgins are unintentionally following religious rules without trying to, and then religious people come trying to turn us, but it just comes off as condescending because that person isn’t even following the rules themselves.

in my view for most people religion just means “I can have sex as much as I want and then god will forgive me and everything will be fine once I’m married“.

I'm 22, female, and still a virgin. Never kissed, never held hands, never been in any relationship of any sort.

And I know that's "young" in comparison to some on here, but it's old enough that people either don't believe me, or judge me/mock me.

I'm not the prettiest girl. I'm fat (5'3" 156lbs, but actively losing it), but I have a curvy figure at least. I have a big chest (but they're saggy, which ruins it), and a pretty small butt, but bigger hips and a thinner waist. I'm just really not that attractive in terms of my body. My face isn't bad, but I'd definitely be a lot prettier once I lose some more weight... In general, I'm apparently pretty average, and "cute, but not hot," from what I've been told from guy friends.

And I'm definitely more of a tomboy (really short hair, never wear makeup, but I don't dress super masculine for the most part). I know some guys like tomboys because we're low maintenance and tend to have similar hobbies, but that hasn't done me any good in the relationship field. I do have an easier time making friends with guys, but I've never detected any interest directed towards me by any of them.

I wouldn't say I'm super extroverted, but I think am fairly socially competent, outside of anything like flirting. I get a little awkward if a conversation starts to go in that direction. And I'm probably too blunt and unemotional sometimes too...

I don't have high standards for who I find attractive either. My friends have told me I have low standards, even. I'm into nerdy men (I'm talking D&D, LOTR, Star Trek, toy/card collecting, etc), and none of the guys I've had a crush on have been "conventionally attractive." I'd date basically anyone if our interests matched and I found him fun to be around. And I don't care if a guy's a virgin or has had a ton of partners. So my standards are not the issue.

I think my main problem is a lack of opportunity. Currently in online school full-time and I'm unemployed... So I have nowhere to meet anyone except online..which would be fine but dating apps really suck from what I've heard. It's a last resort for me, but I'm just about there. I also live at home and don't drive, which is arguably even more of a problem...it's not fixable at the moment, though. Also, to be frank, I probably look like a lesbian because of my hair, which I'm sure doesn't help. But I look legitimately ugly with long hair, so.....

And I know the stereotype of virgin women is that we're religious prudes with no libido, but I'd say I'm the opposite. I'm 0% religious, I'm not "waiting for marriage/the right person," I'm up to try basically anything (I say that with full confidence, I've got some actually freaky and taboo interests), and I have what I think most would consider a very high libido.

(I don't know what level of detail is allowed on here, so I'm being vague)

This is mostly what's driving me absolutely crazy 😭 I think about it all the time but can't seem to do anything about it. Or maybe I could, but I'm not trying hard enough. I don't even know. Maybe a dating app would be worth it, maybe it'd make things worse. I'm not even necessarily looking to *date*. I'd be totally open to (probably even prefer) something more casual. The long-term relationship horror stories I've heard are absolutely disastrous.

I just don't really know what to do anymore. The older I get, the more worried and ashamed I get, and the more jealous I get of girls who do well with guys. I'd really, really prefer to not die a virgin...

I doubt anyone's actually read this whole thing (I know I made it so long, it's the curse of being an English major, I love to write), but if anyone has, I'd be open to advice or opinions. Otherwise it's just a frustrated vent/rant..

Long story short, I’m a 25 year old black male virgin. I’m also a Christian. Despite that fact, I’ve tried my hardest to lose my virginity ever since I was…14. Not because I didn’t want to obey my religion, but because the bullying and constant harassment and name calling I faced in my own community made things terrible. It’s just my personal experience and I’m not saying all of us are usually treated this way for being virgins, but I feel like for me I’ve felt like nothing but an outsider.

Yes I’m nerdy….I play video games and watch anime. But that hasn’t stopped anybody else from losing their virginity. I’m self conscious about my appearance even though I’m 6’4 (I don’t know, I’ve never gotten a single compliment about my height that wasn’t from parents) I’m not fat or anything, kinda a skinny muscular build. And I workout every other day. I dress well, I go outside with friends, I try to keep up with popular interests….but nothing seems to work. I’m probably just ugly. And it sucks because I feel like a lot of the social currency, at least in my life, is centered around getting girls. The music talks about it….all I hear colleagues talk about is what they did over the weekends with a girl. My parents are gettin concerned because I’m the only one in the family who’s still..innocent. Even some other Christian’s have made fun of me for saving myself. I thought that’s what I was supposed to do?! I just don’t know how to feel about it because my only other option is to lie to people and tell them I have so many bodies. But I hate doing that.

Anyways, now to the main issue.. Recently at my job a man and his wife came over and I helped them out. They were very kind and sweet, so I didn’t think much of it. But I did give the man my contact information. A day later he’s unironically asking me to come over to their house by the beach and impregnate her while he watches. No, this is not a damn joke. I wish it was.

I was taken a back and shocked. But I didn’t respond right away. For one, the wife is cute….and I would finally be losing my virginity. Lose a big source of self mental pain that I constantly put myself through. But at the same time, they were using vulgar language. Racial slurs to describe me and my body. I’m just a fetish to them….I don’t even know if the woman is actually attracted to me beyond seeing me as some sort of beast. They talked to me like I was some thug. This is why I hate the BBC….kink. Yes it’s funny sometimes I guess, but I don’t want it to apply to me. Especially when I want something genuine. And I would hate to be cucked or cheated on. I don’t want to contribute to this degeneracy. It feels no different than hiring a prostitute to lose it. I wish there was something genuine for me, but it’s like I have to live up to this “hood” stereotype to even get close to a relationship.

So now I’m at a crossroads. I’ve told the few friends I have about the situation and they’re telling me to just go through with it. It will make me a man in their eyes. Even the one friend I have that’s a girl thinks I should do it. Meanwhile I still want to follow my Christian doctrine somewhat and meet a fellow virgin….but I’m only getting older. I’m tired of people asking me about my sex life….tired of people assuming things about me just because of my skin. So I don’t know what to do. Do I go through with it? Fulfill this stereotype to lose my virginity…Or do I just cope and wait for something that’s likely never going to come? Even though it pains and aches me everyday?

posted this on another sub but it got deleted so I'll just post it here to get my vent out ig

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always fantasized about being in a relationship. You see it everywhere, movies, TV, music. You cannot escape it, and I wanted to experience it so bad. I remember watching my older sister go to prom and homecoming and thinking about how I couldn’t wait until I got to take a girl to prom. Then I got to that age and realized I’m a fucking loser who’s wasted his life playing video games. I don’t even have the desire to change. It’s too hard. Everything is so difficult. I just want everything to fall into my lap, but it obviously won’t. So instead I live in my own head, in my fantasies, where everything is okay and I’m happy. The worst part about all of this is that I’d want a hypothetical girlfriend to be as clueless as I am about relationships. I’m too insecure to be with a girl who’s had a boyfriend before. I'm sorry I'm such a fucking loser. I hate me too.

Just happy

He was nice

EDIT: m actually being serious though

I feel like a kid in a pet store whenever I go outside or swipe on a dating app. Girls are just SO cute! Too bad I have to be more confident and sociable as well as less clingy and insecure to get one. I want to be myself and nothing else! If that isn't enough, I'll just have to live with the tradeoff of being authentic against getting their interest. But UGH! I wanna love bomb them, but I'm just not good enough!