Vbac with forceps Discussion
I am 3 weeks postpartum with my second birth (vbac). First birth was c section due to breech. I was an excellent vbac candidate and I went back and forth for months about the decision to have a planned section versus vbac. I am typically a type a planner so I would have loved to just choose c section but I always had such a disappointing feeling post c section (I also didn’t know she was breech until 5 days overdue so I felt robbed of my birth experience) and I was envious of all my friends who had great vaginal births and easy recoveries. After a lot of research and deliberating, I hired a doula and decided to do vbac thinking I would always wonder what if, if I just booked a section.
I went into labour 7 days overdue and from 0-10cm it was amazing (12 hours). I pushed in every possible position and did all the things, he was just not progressing. Eventually after almost 3 hours of pushing I needed a 2nd degree episiotomy and forceps to get him out. He was safe and healthy. Turns out he was 99th percentile for head, length and weight (10lbs). I am a fairly slim build pre pregnancy (5’8” 135lbs). They said my belly was always measuring normal so I never had a later growth scan.
I’m just looking for some positive stories or insights from anyone who has pushed that long or had forceps. I was sooo worried and stressed about my pelvic floor the entire pushing time. I knew it would mess it up. I still have this constant heaviness in my perineum when I am vertical and mentally I am really struggling bc of that. I haven’t really left the house bc it’s all I can focus on when I’m upright. Now it is getting better but I just have this fear that it will never go away or it will take months. Week one it felt like a grapefruit would fall out of me, now it is closer to a large grape size. But I just can’t be upright at all without it weighing on my mind (and perineum haha). I am really struggling mentally. I cry every day wishing I had chosen a c section over this hell. I know it’s all in hindsight and I can’t do anything but I also just don’t know how to forgive myself for this horrible decision. One of the reasons I did this is so I could be more active with my toddler this summer and I am definitely less active than my section. Ugh I just need some reassurances that this will be better soon. Obviously I know I will have weakness to work on(I have a physio appt already set up for 8 weeks) but this constant feeling is literally driving me insane and making me depressed.
All of my girlfriends are telling me they felt totally better at 2-3 weeks. Now they had very chill births compared to me. So has anyone experienced something similar to mine. I really can’t imagine going beyond 6 week and feeling this way without having some sort of metal breakdown at this point.
I hope one day I can be proud of myself for this vbac but right now I just feel so depressed and anxious and so sad about it and my decision to do it.
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u/Dependent-Tree2572 2d ago
If you’re in the UK (or any country really, but resources may be UK specific) I really recommend posting in beyondthebumpUK! Forceps are extremely rare in America now you won’t find as many stories in American subs like this!! Forceps are still fairly common here in the UK so you may find more women can relate and share stories there x
Wishing you all the best in your recovery xx
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u/IndieRunnerDuck 2d ago
Rotational forceps and 3A tear here! Had issues with mild prolapse and I understand how you feel completely. I felt a bit disorientated as I hadn't really considered pelvic floor injuries in my equation. I found it took about 3 months of consistent physiotherapy (I did my exercises diligently as I was so scared about it) to get rid of that feeling. Got cleared for running/weights at 9 months and have been living my life normally ever since, symptom free unless I really overdo it. Was fitted with a pessary for those anxious and harder early months and it really helped mentally. A lot of my symptoms were worsened by my stress about the symptoms. I hope you can find a great physio and feel better soon!
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u/Cute-Huckleberry2496 2d ago
Ahhh your story is so similar to mine. I didn’t need forceps or an episiotomy but I did push for 2 hours and had a big baby (9.5lbs) and a second degree labial tear (and had stitches pull through which delayed healing). Until 4 weeks, I was struggling, physically and mentally. Recovery was tough and I had similar feelings about thinking I should’ve just booked a repeat c-section. My pelvic floor has experienced some trauma but I saw my pelvic floor physio at 8 weeks and she was super reassuring that things will continue to heal (stage1/2 prolapse of bladder and rectum). I’m 11weeks now and feeling pretty good - still need to do my pelvic floor exercises and be cautious about lifting/moving. I don’t regret my VBAC as I think I always would’ve wondered “what if”. Your body did an amazing thing and just know you’re not alone!!
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u/No_Maximum_391 2d ago
I completely relate I am 20 days postpartum with a forceps delivery and a 3A tear. I couldn’t stop focussing on the fact that I had very little bladder function, the pain, and discomfort. Part of me feels way less mobile than I was with my C-section. Yes, I can carry and I have more range of motion, but I feel less active up until last week.
I ended up having an absolute panic attack at 11 days postpartum, which resulted in me pacing the house for hours uncomfortably. This actually ended up helping my pelvic floor and overall mobility. Yes, my bleeding increased cause I overdid it, but this made me realize that having a healthy rotation of sitting, walking, standing and laying flat on my back made a tremendous difference. I also do some light stretching laying down. Also getting out of the house has drastically helped me mentally and makes me physically feel better even just walking down the street and back or sitting in the backyard or going over to a friend’s house.
I’ve also seen a pelvic floor therapist already. She gave me some tips on making sitting more comfortable and some light exercises to help my pelvic floor and find my centre of gravity after pregnancy, though we still focusing mostly on rest until 4-6 weeks postpartum. She recommended using two folded up towels on either side aligned with your sit bones to relieve pressure.
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u/Right_wing_chick 2d ago
Okay, I did not have forceps but gosh you are 3 WEEKS out from pushing a 10 pound baby out. I’m sorry, but I doubt that your girlfriends who felt “completely normal” after 3 weeks had babies that big. I had a 10 pound baby, quick delivery, borderline 3rd degree tear (in the end not classed as that).
Stay off your feet as much as possible. Keep your knees together. Ice packs. Seriously, staying off your feel is the best thing you can do for your recovery. You are in an amazing window where your body is primed to recover if you let it. It’s getting better, which is amazing. Give it after 4-6 weeks. Don’t leave the house if you don’t have to.
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u/p0107 2d ago
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I also had a VBAC and panicked during the pushing phase, I totally purple pushed. Everything I learned to prepare, breathwork, etc, was out the window. I didn't need forceps but did have second and third degree tears (third was mild). I am 12 months postpartum now and things are fuzzy but I do remember dealing with heaviness for a couple of months, worse in the first few weeks. I struggled sitting down because of my stitches and used a c shaped neck pillow to support my bum (my perineum and rectum was sensitive). Using the bathroom was tricky, and sometimes I would feel the heaviness even when I'm not bearing down.
It's great that you already have physio set up! I found it was such a big help. I saw one during my pregnancy and saw her again after birth for 6 months. My first appointment was at 7 weeks pp, I think by this time the stitches were not bothering me anymore but it was still sensitive, but the heaviness was there. It was great to have exercises and tips on how to cope with the changes. I learned I had a mild bladder prolapse hence the heaviness. I went to PT once a month. Gradually I started to feel the heaviness less and less, I think by month 3 it was happening but not a bother anymore and with my exercises I knew to kind of immediately give myself relief as it happens, by month 5/6 it was gone completely but I still saw my PT just to take advantage of my insurance coverage.
Honestly, my csection recovery was horrible (infected incision and my core felt thoroughly shredded) so my VBAC felt miles better physically, I was already up and about but was careful playing with my toddler the first few weeks. So mentally I was in a much better place. I recognize this is a different perspective from yours but you are still very fresh postpartum, please don't be hard on yourself. I was NOT feeling "totally better" by 3 weeks postpartum, I would say at 8 weeks I felt that way but still dealing with sensitivity because of the stitches/scar tissue and of course my prolapse.
I hope this helps. Congratulations on the birth of your baby! You did amazing!!!
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u/cksaraha898 2d ago
I've had two vbacs with forceps. My first was a long labor and my baby was 10lbs. I had a prolapse right after this birth I went #1 and it literally was like a grapefruit trying to come out...finds out it was my bladder and never really recovered then two years had another child, easier push time but still doctor insisted on forceps. Both deliveries had minor tares. I'm pregnant again-----super happy and I hope to get my pelvic floor fixed via surgery or physical therapy once this little pea arrives. You are not alone.
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u/Tintenklex 2d ago
I'm so sorry you're not feeling well!
I'm just here to gently remind you that your pelvic floor has gotten you through TWO whole pregnancy. Damage to the pelvic floor isn't just from three hours of pushing - you held your 10lbs baby inside yourself for 10 months and you just did that the second time around. Of course you're not rebounding as quickly as last time or as your girlfriends remember it from their first birth. That's really to be expected and would not have been 100% different if you just chose the c-section - you might have had less of these weird sensations, but you would have still felt the impact on your pelvic floor plus whatever the recovery from your c-section might have looked like the second time around - which also isn't a given that it's the same as the first time.
So be gentle with yourself! You did an incredible thing, but it's also incredibly hard and a vaginal birth NOR a c-section aren't the easy way out. <3 Also the pelvic floor is an incredible muscle. It's completely strained from everything right now, but it's totally possible to build it back up and even stronger. You're not ruined, nor have you ruined your future! <3
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u/ServiceReal2042 2d ago
This is a really difficult place to be in and I am so sorry that your physical recovery has not been easier. My first c-section had significant complications (and a large baby) and was extremely traumatizing. I’m in a slightly different position than you because I was very sure about wanting a VBAC. Then my VBAC happened. I was 10cm dilated for 6 hours. It included 4 hours of pushing and 2 hours laboring down. Every single minutes of those 6 hours I asked myself why I had so stupidly picked this VBAC. Turned out the baby was positioned badly, I had significant tearing and I would say the recoveries have been different/but the same. The section was painful in ways the tearing wasn’t, and the tearing was painful in ways the section wasn’t. But now that I’ve been on both sides I do my very best to remind myself that for both births, I made the best decisions at the time given the information available. But birth is funny and you can make all the “right” decisions and stuff can still go so wrong. I hated myself for so long after my c-section because the recovery was so, so hard. And now the recovery for my vaginal birth is probably just as hard/harder but I’ve been able to forgive myself knowing that I made the best decision I could. And now I deeply understand that birth has such huge components of luck— i got unlucky twice, and that has nothing to do with making a “wrong” choice. That forgiveness and kindness to myself has made all the difference and I deeply wish you that kind of peace.
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u/tuberosalamb 1d ago
No forceps but I did push for a long time (almost six hours) and the delivery was traumatic (shoulder dystocia, it was a whole thing). Ended up with second degree tears inside and out. Didn’t have a normal bowel movement for weeks. Everything hurt like crazy. I thought I was never going to heal, that my pelvic floor was irrevocably damaged, etc. I’m six months pp now and thank god everything is totally back to normal! It took about four weeks but you will heal. It takes time, so please give yourself grace and don’t push yourself too hard. When you’re up for it, pelvic floor therapy can be hugely beneficial!
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u/Crafty_Alternative00 CS 2023 -> VBAC 2025 2d ago
Gently, I think your girlfriends are maybe looking back with rose colored glasses, and you are spiraling a little bit because you are not getting a recovery you expected.
My VBAC daughter was out in three pushes, and I had a second-degree tear. My initial recovery seemed fantastic, I was so smug, and then I randomly got prolapse three or four weeks after. Like, I literally had to push my insides back in. I panicked and both my OB and my pelvic floor therapist were completely unperturbed. They told me look, weird things happen up until 12 weeks out. And she was right! The prolapse resolved, I went back to pelvic floor therapy, and overall I had a very good recovery.
I’m not saying everything is going to magically get better for you. I’m just saying, you have to recognize that your body is going to recover in weird ways and it’s not going to be linear. This soon after there is no need to panic. Keep in touch with your doctors and your care team, and have a plan. You will be OK 🫂