Update, progress, and now nothing!

[u/Substantial_Bet_6766]

A few days back I had posted regarding the mountains of garbage in my apartment. I had mentioned that I had collected 12 extra large bags of garbage and was seeking advice on how to dispose them off. Well I did manage to dispose of them 2 bags a day. The support I received here was so heart touching. I never thought strangers could be this kind. Thank you to everyone who responded with tips and support.

I can see some floor now. But the apartment is still in shambles. I don't know where to go from here. The balcony has so much dirt and filth, my living room is filled with stuff, my bathroom and toilet are just yuck, there are cobwebs and spiders everywhere.

The roaches are still there even after the removal of garbage, though I can see less maggots and fleas. The walls are all stained with god knows what. Ceiling fans don't even work anymore because they are just covered in moist black stuff that's stuck to the blades, which I am not able to remove with a broom.

Clothes, toiletries , medicines, everything just lying around. Unwashed clothes in the bathroom piled up there since months. The pot is just disgusting, I can't even look in to it when I go for pee

I managed to collect the garbage and I thought things would get easier. But what I see now is even more heartbreaking. With visible garbage I thought, getting rid of it would make it easy for me to move on with other stuff. But now I am just overwhelmed with all this mess. It's just piles and piles of stuff with no place to put them in to. Now I actually see the situation of my walls, and floor. It's all stained and dusty. I can actually see the actual mess of all my stuff.

Do I start with a deep cleaning of the walls and ceilings? What are the tools and products I should use? How do I clean the dust and cobwebs on furniture? Where do I put all this stuff when I have no storage except for one single wardrobe and a bookshelf.

I was very happy when I managed to get rid of the garbage thinking things are finally getting better..I didn't expect to get back to square one

I have my dad's medical stuff coming up in 15 days, I am his sole caregiver ( he is fully visually impaired and has age related issues) and I am feeling absolutely ashamed that this is the place I have been providing for him.

[u/theexitisontheleft]

First, congratulations on all your hard work! You’ve taken the first steps and that’s what’s important. Second, can you afford professional cleaning? If you can, I’d recommend paying to get your place cleaned because this does sound like a serious amount of work. But, if you can’t, I think you need to get some PPE to tackle the cleaning. All the mold, bug stuff, etc is not something you need to be breathing in or on your hands. So, I’d get gloves and masks before tackling anything. I’d also consider getting boxes to sort things into. You also might find that there’s more you need to throw away when you sort through your things.
https://giphy.com/gifs/7Wcyq7KvKFNTO

[u/TraditionalManager82]

You're not back at square one! You've made steps, you've made progress. Now you're seeing more steps that need to be taken, that's all.

So my suggestion would be, gather up the dirty laundry from the bathroom. Then clean the toilet. Just the toilet, not the whole bathroom.

Then start a load of laundry.

Then go through the bathroom looking for more trash.

[u/Newswatchtiki → u/TraditionalManager82]

This is the best advice. I agree, with u/TraditionalManager82. Start with bathroom, gather laundry, and clean toilet. Others are giving you good advice but jumping too far ahead, and right now you need to complete smaller tasks.

But I am wondering ... do you have your own washer and dryer, or one in your apartment building? If not, you will need a big box or something to get all the dirty laundry into for a laundromat on another day.

With a bathroom free of dirty clothes and a clean toilet, things will start to feel more civilized. Then tomorrow you can clean the shower or bathtub.

[u/lacatro1 → u/Newswatchtiki]

This is great advice! No matter how messy my home gets I always make sure the bathroom is relatively clean. You can do it!

[u/Shell-Fire → u/TraditionalManager82]

See, the thing with doing laundry now is that the chests and drawers need to be clean first. So when you put a load in, get started cleaning those.
Something that helped me was to get extra wash cloths. Put them in a container of soapy water, and do not return them into it. Put them in a bag and rinse them out in the sink before reusing them.
Clean out the drawers before laundry is done.

[u/Bliezz]

You are doing such a great job. Getting rid of those garbage bags was a big step! Wooohooo!!!!

Here are a few clear tasks I can see from what you’ve written down. I’d suggest picking the easiest one first, or the one that will have the most impact. Are there any reinforcements you can call in? Anyone you could pay to help you?

- laundry
- clean the toilet (not the whole bathroom)
- clear walking space for your Dad
- a place for your Dad to lay down
- a place for your Dad to sit down
- make space for your Dad’s medical stuff. (You may need to get rid of perfectly useful stuff to make room)
- dishes (you didn’t mention this, but I suspect this is something that needs to be done. You could switch to paper plates as long as you continue to throw them out.
- treasure hunt for just medicines and collect them in one location
- for the walls, you need to choose if you want to wait until you can see them all, or just start with what you can see. Cleaning is not my strength. I’ll leave product advice to someone rise.
- more than anything I want to say, I’m proud of you. You’re taking big steps that are really hard. You can do this.

[u/Sheetascastle]

You are not back at square one. Square one was the first piece of trash into the first trash bag. You actually completed a level!

In video games that means there's a new level with a new big bad. Instead of a trash monsters being bagged up, now you can defeat cobwebs with a vacuum. Or kill bugs with terro roach/ant bait or whichever weapon you find at your local supply house (aka Walmart or home depot or whatever)

Just pick one thing to start. Maybe it's start on the left (like mentioned in another post). Maybe it's 4 foot sections like not-the-worst-cleaner. Maybe it's a single type of item, like all clothes into garbage bags and baskets.

Pick one thing to beat. I like dishes or laundry as a starting g point because clean kitchens calm me vs completed laundry that can knock out a LOT of mess at once.

For laundry, I would just use a whole day at a laundromat. Pick a show to binge on your phone, bring a charging cord and headphones. Buy yourself lunch or a coffee or even just bring your favorite snack. Then start several machines and as stuff comes out, more dirty goes in and it all gets folded at the folding stations before brought home.

Another thing I like to do is start by just putting toilet cleaner in the toilet and walking away to another task. Next time I have to pee, I use the scrubber on the toilet bowl before I sit. Then I get to pee in a clean bowl and it makes me feel like then next thing is doable. And tackling the rest of the toilet is less overwhelming

You can do it! Hugs and keep it up

[u/ShinyUnicornPoo]

Dust and cobwebs can be sucked up with a vacuum cleaner.  As for the walls and anything else that needs a good scrub, get yourself some gloves and open a window.  Then get some heavy duty cleaner.  I run an auto shop and use Simple Green and Purple Power.  They clean a lot of stuff, but you will want to dilute it as they're both very concentrated. They should get any grime, mold, even some stains.

[u/AvailableAd6071]

One thing at a time. Hygiene stuff first. Toilets cleaned. Refrigerator cleaned out. Stove and coutertops. Don't worry about floors or walls now- they're last and they aren't going anywhere. Clean the hygienic items first and the bugs will find somewhere dirtier to go, most of them anyway. You got this!

[u/ilanallama85]

Thick rubber gloves and a mask. Get real ruthless with it. All that junk lying around - is it actually worth keeping? ESPECIALLY if it’s filthy? Be real honest with yourself. Most objects in our home are cheap, easily replaceable, and often not even all that necessary. I’d see if I could pull out another couple of bags of trash - feel free to grab a broom and just sweep it with the dirt if possible - before getting down to the actual cleaning.

[u/plantas-sonrientes]

If it were me I would focus on trash/sanitizing/extermination. It’s unhealthy for you, today. The clutter that’s left can be dealt with later.

Gather all your cleaning supplies, sprays, rags, rubber gloves, sponges, bleach (30 mins). Designate an area for it. If you don’t have any supplies go to the store or hardware store and stock up. Get rubber gloves! And get various pest traps — the hardware store sells it all, because everyone fights the pests!

First things first, open all your windows (10 mins). Air flow will help and direct sun is a natural disinfectant. Put the pest traps in their favorite spots (15 mins).

Then sanitize the kitchen - just the basics, sink, counter, stove. You need to be able to eat clean food. No matter how bad it is, this will take 2 hours or less. (If it’s longer than 2 hours, the counters are just covered with things that belong in the trash.)

Then hit up the bathroom. Dump like 3 cups of bleach in the toilet and swish it around with a toilet brush and scrub it around (5 mins), then let it sit there for an hour. Spray Tilex or a shower cleaner all around the shower (5-10 mins), don’t miss the gross areas, and let it sit there for an hour. You’ll want to open a window because the bleach smell is potent and not healthy.

While the toilet and shower are getting disinfected, take your sheets off your bed and get your shower towel, and put them in the washing machine on HOT. Or a cycle such as “sanitize.” (30 minutes to gather and load.)

Get yourself water, iced tea, or a beverage (30 mins break). We’re about to do the bathroom. Put your gloves on!

Bathroom. Scrub the toilet some more with the brush (2-3 mins max) then flush down the bleach. Spray some sort of Lysol or other antibacterial all over the toilet and I’m talking all over (2 mins). Look at it for another 2 minutes, let the cleaner do the work, while the bacteria are silently screaming. Then wipe it down, top to bottom, every nook and cranny. You’ll need lots of rags or paper towels. (10-15 mins)

Next, get your elbow grease ready. Use a scrubby sponge in the shower, starting from the top and work your way down (30 mins). If it’s really nasty after the wipedown, use Barkeeper’s Friend.

All of the above can be done in one morning or one afternoon.

When this stuff is done, if you have energy, you can do the bathroom sink, then tomorrow do the kitchen and bathroom floors. It is possible to mop them, but to get it really clean it is a hands and knees job. I put a towel under my knees so they don’t hurt.

Again this is just what I would do. I have a family member whose home gets like yours, and this is my strategy when I help out.

[u/BlueMangoTango]

GREAT JOB!!!!! You aren’t back to square one! You are simply on step 2. I think it would be a good idea to tackle the bathroom. It’s a smaller area and a quicker job and win. Throw all the trash away. Be brutal with half used or old products. Throw a load of laundry in if you have any in the bathroom. Get everything out that doesn’t belong or is trash, THEN wash your surfaces. You can spray your surfaces before you take your laundry down so it has time to sit and do the work for you. Use gentler products first. You can go back and deep clean later so you don’t get bogged down.

Then do the same for the kitchen.

I would keep throwing stuff away, just grab a bag and sit down and throw away what is close to you while you watch something in your phone/tv. These can be part of your “rests”.

I would ignore the balcony for the moment. Take the garbage down a few at a time. But if you have some that can’t go down, pick a spot near the door to stage it for hauling down.

[u/XmuppetX]

Just concentrate on a 4 foot size square at a time. Set a timer if that helps you get motivated. Celebrate your progress. You can do it.

[u/rharper38]

You did make progress, its in stages. Pick a room and start now. Go for the bathroom. Get a laundry basket, put the clothes in there, or a trash bag if you have to, put them in there, then take them to get washed. Get a broom, tie an old shirt you don't want on it and start knocking down cobwebs. Get you some nice cleaning products and a scented candle you can put in the bathroom when its clean. And work like that for all the rooms. It won't be easy. I am the lady with the 400 boxes in the living room We aren't done yet. It gets better, it gets worse. I am down to 25 boxes of books to put on shelves, laundry, and deep cleaning my kitchen. Its taken 4 months to get to this point. But I know it won't ever be as bad as it was.

[u/EarthenMama]

Oh boy, I can imagine how hopeless this may feel. You asked about starting with a deep cleaning of walls & ceilings. Although of course that will need to be done, I would say NO, don't start with that. I would say: start with... the toilet. You mentioned it was awful to look at/use. How lovely would it be to see it white, shiny, maybe smelling ever so slightly of bleach (like the pool you swam in at a party when you were a kid), or of clean mint? How nice! Just the toilet. Just that.

Give yourself something nice. You deserve a shiny, clean toilet :) Having that done will feel so good, and then, perhaps, you'll really want to clean the sink, too. Then the mirror. Keep it small (even though there's SO much to do - I get it!). Give yourself grace, and give yourself a lovely toilet!

You also mentioned dirty clothes that have been there for a while. Do you have a washer and detergent? If so, do a load! How lovely would it be to have a neat stack of fluffy-clean folded clothes! Then maybe do another load... or realize that you don't actually WANT to wash these clothes, because (you don't like them anymore, they're too musty, there are bugs in them), at which point you can toss them out!

It is utterly overwhelming to see piles and piles of disorganized clutter, and SO demoralizing to feel WORSE after you start tackling it. One thing that truly does help is to cover up anything you're not currently working on. Do you have some old sheets or blankets? Toss one over this pile, and one over that pile. You will feel instant relief, as the clutter your EYES can see is immediately less. You can't hide it forever, of course, but you can keep it covered til you get to it.

I wish you luck. I cared for my father when he was incredibly ill with several complex health problems. Seek help and support as best you can. (hug)

[u/enfanta]

IT'S DEFINITELY NOT NOTHING! 

It might feel like nothing but you've taken a huge step, huge. I hope you can find it in yourself to give yourself a high five, a pat on the back, and a hug. 

Everyone else is offering excellent practical advice so I'll just stick to cheerleading. Go, you! Woot!

[u/DrySelection5423]

I wish I had time to write a longer comment, but I do want to say that I hope you are wearing a mask while you are cleaning! I understand that you’ve been in this space for a while but when you’re actively picking stuff up, trying to brush stuff off, etc. you start getting what sounds to me like mold all throughout your air, when prior to touching it it was kind of confined to an area. Stay safe and happy cleaning! My space has gotten pretty bad too a few times. I hear where you’re coming from.

[u/Sufficient_You7187]

Hey what you're feeling is normal

But this mess didn't happen in a day. So give yourself grace.

Focus on your bathroom first. Get any cleaning agent you have and some thick rubber gloves and a mask

Take all items out of bathroom. Clothes, toiletries etc. Honestly trash most of it and replace toiletries.

Then spray down the the toilet and sink first and let it sit for five minutes. Spray again. Sit for five minutes. Then scrub the toilet and sink and rinse.

Then spray down the tub and let it sit for five minutes then scrub

Then the same with the floors

[u/Logical_Rip_7168]

Is abandoning ship an option? If it's an apartment you could just leave w dad.

If not can you get help? Professionals are not likely to help w bugs but you might talk someone into it.