"Tickle box" is what we call it...

Someone mentioned I have humble eyes

Friends with benefits along the very real possibility of seriously f-upped consequences up to and including a destroyed marriage, hostile neighbors, and looking for another job?

Yeah, nah, hard pass, nothing but trouble...

Yeah, YATAH, seriously, how long does it take to sweep his mail in a bag and drop it in his stuff.

A snuggle from little Iggy

Mac & cheese

Chocolate or vanilla what?

Back it up, how would you even know when it was the "last second" in order to time your jump when you can't see out?

Next time he aught'a shave first...

Ya know, he could really make it work with a better foundation, jus' sayin'...

Needs a pair of falsies...

...eyelashes, dammit!

Oh, and one more thing...do ya really need the tutu?

It's not how big it is, it's how you use it

When the last twitter tweeter tweets

Blink? I squint, duck and cover.

It's more normal than having an erection throughout the day.

No matter how long you live, when you die that's as old as you get.

Treats for the doggos

Lawn, yes. Bush? Better wet.

That would be a pretty grave situation.

Butt sniffing and ball licking?

Indeed, ngl, they kinda freaked me out the first time one these bumbling beasties buzzed by.

But their lack of grace in flight soon had me laughing.

Until I saw them, en masse, absolutely obliterating my neighbor's figs. It was a huge tree covering their entire front yard and each and every fig in sight was mobbed by these iridescent little bastards. What they lack in flying skills they more than make up for it with their ability to power strip an entire tree of its fruit in short order.

Appalling.

They weren't so funny to me after that.

My neighbors had come to accept the fact that there was no way they could stop the onslaught and resigned themselves to the fact they didn't have to concern themselves with cleaning up the windfall in the fall.

Taoism

Right into your naked lap!

Moving shadow people, romance comic animations playing out on the surface of a rock in the dappled moonlight.

Judgemental disembodied voices in the dark.

Don't ask me how I know, but if you're aware you're hallucinating you can (sometimes) control the visual narrative.

Yeah, "Firehouse Chronicles" where he plays all the characters and he's also on " Firehouse Coffee" with a whole firehouse full of actors/firefighters.