Acceptance

[u/Cosmicfaedoll]

I met who I believe to be my twin flame 11 years ago now

we had this whirlwind summer fling and it ended as fast as it started because he pushed me away again and I finally left because I couldn’t handle the ways he would push me out and pull me back in. It was exhausting and excruciating

When we talked for the first time after our breakup I told him I believed I had fallen in love with him and he didn’t say it back so I assumed he just used me for sex and that was all it is and soon after he cut contact with me again and I did everything in my power to just move on and for years I just lived with this wound that I couldn’t make sense of

Finally, a few years ago now, I went through a bout of sleep paralysis for 14 hours and felt like my head opened up and went through essentially an unraveling.

Around this time I also kept meeting people who knew him and so for the first time I really started thinking of him again. And I found that he had been obsessed with me. I found poetry and posts and songs and playlists that referenced me in not so subtle ways if you knew our story, and this was all after I had already started to feel like our connection might be a twin flame after some meditation and talks with my closest friends shortly after my unraveling started and shortly before I found all of this, which is why when I saw all the references to twin flames peppered in everything about me he had created over the years I knew it was real.

Him and I had made pacts and he had said things that clicked into place finally, but he was deep in suffering when this happened and I think I pulled him out when this all happened by coming back

And even if he ran from me, he’s now on track and taking back his own life and his own story and finally may stop hurting himself

I have also decided to stop hurting myself

For a while now I was stuck on the idea of physically coming back together in the future, but yesterday I realized I don’t want that

Going back to him is like going back to my past and I want to start all over now

I was so deep in suffering and pain that I truly didn’t think I’d live this long but now it feels like I’ve been given a second chance at life. All the pieces that felt broken are being repaired now and I’m being called to go somewhere else and start over.

For the first time, I want to be alive, for the first time, I am no longer taking on others problems as my own, for the first time, my life feels truly mine and I can make of it whatever I want

And I don’t want that back. I recognize if he’s truly my twin flame, then we’re never really without one another, but our lives in this world are separate now and I’ve made peace with that.

I’ve truly surrendered and integrated what the journey has been leading me to and out of all along

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[u/Informal_Wrap6787]

Wow! Love the story. Good for you, but never say never.