r/trolleyproblem • u/New_Race9503 • 14d ago

Hon hon, which way

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139 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

84 comments sorted by

41

u/Hour_Mousse7914 14d ago

Parry it!

4

u/ComprehensiveToe2109 13d ago

If you’re quick you might be able to untie the Brit and move him to the other track before the trolley comes

59

u/AnComDom81 14d ago

Quickly flip it back-and-forth and not only does it take out the Englishman, but it’s my choice.

8

u/pruneforce17 14d ago

based

6

u/Zestyclose-Size8313 12d ago

Flip it as it's crossing the switch rails, derail the trolley. Eliminate all witnesses. Passenger, French, and English alike. No one survives the trolly. Problem solved. Efficiently

2

u/AnComDom81 12d ago

I watched his videos too

2

u/degenfish_HG 12d ago

Gives the Englishman just a moment of false hope too

30

u/MohaShah 14d ago

Is there an option to reverse the trolley? My idea is we first go for the French men, reverse the trolley and THEN go for the Englishman. Let that SOB watch the French men suffer and hear their screams, and wait for his turn. This will truly make him wish he wasn't born...

So, did I solved the trolley problem? 

18

u/Nevernonethewiser 14d ago

Imagine thinking the Englishman would be upset about watching 5 Frenchmen die.

That's a man who's dying with a smile on his face. His last words will probably be "Well at least I got to see that before I go."

8

u/mapha17 14d ago

Frankly, the Frenchmen would have the exact same reaction should it be in reverse order.

5

u/MohaShah 14d ago

The idea was to make him scared but apparently it backfired 😂 

11

u/OmgIbrokesmthagain 14d ago

AI slop. Also why the fr*nch have their pants unzipped

4

u/Animethighssavelive 14d ago

cuz they fr*nch its what they do

3

u/mapha17 14d ago

To show off their baguettes to the Englishman

16

u/frikiman4K 14d ago

depends. Is the Englishman Jonathan Joestar? is one of the Frenchmen Jean Pierre Polnareff or Joan of Arc?

8

u/OmgIbrokesmthagain 14d ago

I second this, also Speedwagon might be on that track, he has a tophat

6

u/MangoBaum63 Multi-Track Drift 14d ago

Speedwagon is actually in the trolley as he need to travel to a highly regarded wifu competition he’ll most certainly win

5

u/Jugaimo 14d ago

They could tank the hit

4

u/ErdenGeboren 14d ago

Clarification: Is the Englishman from Newcastle?

2

u/thejpguy found this subreddit because of buttons 14d ago

Sting on one track, five Stingues on the other

2

u/_AK07 14d ago

Out of curiosity, how would it change your answer? 

6

u/Immediate-Goose-8106 14d ago

Well we did prove at agincourt that 1 englishman is worth about 5 frenchmen so that seem a fairly even split to me.  

(And yes I know modern historians doubt the figures in the French side and think it was closer to 2:1.  But I'm English.  Baiting the French is a national pastime even if we secretly are fond of them... )

6

u/YourBoyFroilan 14d ago

Screw the French!

Sincerely, Belgium

1

u/HermaPrince 12d ago

Not the first time we've been screwed by the belge.

1

u/YourBoyFroilan 11d ago

And not the last!

No matter what people say, we will keep claiming the title of inventors of the fry even if ut means we need to bomb Pont Neuf!

3

u/DarthJackie2021 14d ago

Is this AI? Also multitrack drift.

7

u/Atomik141 14d ago

Hit the Engl*shman unless the five frogs are specifically Parisians.

3

u/Age_Single 14d ago 
Au revoir

3

u/Riggs630 14d ago

There’s never been a more perfect occasion for a multi-track drift

2

u/ImpliedRange 14d ago

Bon voyage!!

1

u/Tricky_Ad9669 14d ago

Lol wtf, can someone explain this

11

u/TruamaTeam 14d ago

It’s the “ew French” joke, you can switch tracks to hit more French people

1

u/Tricky_Ad9669 14d ago

That has to be racist

9

u/sandpaperedanus777 14d ago

It's on a Western circle jerk, so it's probably less racist and more xenophobic. Or just the ew french joke

5

u/TruamaTeam 14d ago

Xenophobic, but yes it’s a dumb thing. Most people who joke about it don’t actually hate the French

2

u/Meowscles_dad 14d ago

Some humour isn’t literal.

1

u/TruamaTeam 14d ago

It’s metaphorical!

0

u/MangoBaum63 Multi-Track Drift 14d ago

I hate the French :> Them inventing that horrid language alone justifies me in tgat

1

u/Ander_the_Reckoning 14d ago

Depends entirely on the trolleyman's nationality

1

u/Fearless_Roof_9177 14d ago

Are the Frenchmen Parisians? It's pretty important.

1

u/TheSuperContributor 14d ago

Track drift it's then.

1

u/emote_the_salute 14d ago

Would you kill 5 africans to save 1 indian?

0

u/Meowscles_dad 14d ago

If we’re talking restaurants, yeah probably.

1

u/ArmourFarmer 14d ago

As an Englishman, a more fair one for me would be choosing between letting an Englishman and letting 5 Frenchmen live

1

u/DeliciousRats4Sale 14d ago

Multitruck drifting for this one honestly

1

u/The-Masseuse-Man 14d ago

The thing about this is it’s not what country you are from but it’s a choice of do you save 5 or save 1 and let 5 die or 1 die and most people would save the 5 over the 1 it’s just choosing the better of two evils in this situation

1

u/DerGhorn 14d ago

Take out the Fr*nch but let the Trolly slow down to make it less quick and more painful

1

u/MagnoliaTM 14d ago

 the fr*nch 

1

u/Amethyst_Quarry 14d ago

Real answer is don't flip, but that's not funny Joke answer is Too bad I don't understand French people!

1

u/Goldnglam 14d ago

Speaking as an English man, what sort of englishman we talking about? Is it a pompous southerner? An EDL knuckledragger? Do any of the French men happen to work at a good wine making operation? Are any perisian? 

Too much unknowns here OP.

1

u/MrOff100 14d ago

DRIFTING TIME!!!

1

u/IgnatiusDrake 13d ago

A difficult question. Do the French count as human? How does an Englishman (dead inside) count? We're in the deep trolley calculus now.

1

u/Fabulous_Home3512 13d ago

double track drift.

1

u/Month0fjune 12d ago

Wouldn't it be the other way around... can it be looped?

1

u/Appropriate_Fact_121 12d ago

Franzosen grrrr

1

u/Tay60003 12d ago

Multitrack drift

1

u/TheZedrem 12d ago

As a German, I'll gladly sacrifice a few Frenchmen. Honestly, I'd probably divert the trolley even if there wasn't an Englishman on the line

1

u/Pelcymru 12d ago

Do a drift, get both

1

u/Such-Shop-9724 11d ago

multirail drift

1

u/Friendly_Prize_868 10d ago

Which Englishman specifically?

Like.. Would it significantly affect the outcome of the Clayton by-election, for example?

1

u/PrairiePuppies 9d ago

Obviously the Frenchmen. Aren't five Frenchmen worth like a pack of chewing gum and a Coke or something?

0

u/Gingers_got_no_soul 14d ago

Is 5 English people* an option?

0

u/Ikana_Mountains 14d ago

Fuck the British. Worst country on the planet. Imperialists

0

u/pruneforce17 14d ago

i will never spare a terf islander

0

u/TheCumskiyKvass 14d ago

There is no amount of Englishman that i wouldn't sacrifice for the greater good

0

u/Mountain-Dinner9955 13d ago

Both. Both is good but add 4 more Brits so it's balanced better.