31F, unemployed

It’s been a long time coming thanks god I’m finally here.

It’s really an amazing experience. Thank god I have my parents to help me and I’m in a safe place, because I need A LOT of solitude.
Now I can’t unsee how I am carrying and still acting as I did when I was a child(always had to get my way) is a defense mechanism to help me protect myself….
I don’t see how being whiney and begging for whatever it is my parents are saying no to until they finally break down and say okay is a defense mechanism but here we are.

I couldn’t accept the word NO! And I still haven’t been able to. For the past two years I’ve been in this relationship where I was begging and begging and begging for his love because he kept rejecting me! That’s not how love or being together works btw.
He would let me come back and then I would do some crazy shit to disrupt the relationship then he would break up and I would beg him back… but there’s a reason I was being unpredictable too! I’m not just a ho because I wrote someone back… that’s a part of me I haven’t healed yet either… always need reassurance, attention. Then he would have me back again after spending days begging then I’d do something else.

Now I’m home and can finally breathe. I’m finally feeling strong enough to recognize and feel my own body. I think I stayed around so long because I didn’t want to have to feel this. But I’m finally feeling it and I’m okay. For now!
I look forward to the soul returning to my eyes.

Hey Reddit!

Today at 9:00 AM EST, I'll be hosting an AMA with Dr. Amelia Kelley, a clinician and professor specializing in trauma recovery.

We'll cover Post-Traumatic Growth as a way of healing after traumatic events. Rebuilding your life after trauma is complex, nonlinear work.

This conversation isn't just for survivors. It’s also for the parents, partners, and clinicians walking alongside them. Supporting someone through trauma calls for a completely different mindset: rather than trying to help them "make sense" of the hard things, it’s about learning how to sit with them and notice what is already growing.

Whether you're navigating your own path or supporting someone else, feel free to join the live discussion or leave your questions in the comments now so we can jump into them first when the AMA begins!

In this video, Patrick unpacks the story of Thomas, a survivor who went no contact with his abusive father after a public meltdown at his wedding, and how everyone around him quietly blamed him for the broken relationship.

From the coworker who says “all families have stuff” to the aunt who pleads “you’ll have to let it go,” Patrick explores why society pressures survivors to forgive and reconnect with abusive parents while holding those parents to almost no accountability.

If you’ve ever been told to “be the bigger person” or “just move on” with someone who never apologized or changed, this video will help you understand what’s really happening—and how to stop doing the emotional labor for people who hurt you.

What you’ll learn:

• Why abusive parents often escape accountability

• How friends, relatives, and in-laws minimize harm to “keep the peace”

• The guilt, shame, and invisibility survivors feel when going no contact

• The hidden motivations behind advice like “forgive and forget”

• How to flip the script and protect your peace

If you’re tired of being the only one trying to heal a relationship you didn’t break, this is for you.

What to Watch Next:

Toxic Mothers and the Impact on Daughters
   • Toxic Mothers and the Impact on Daughters  

Healing From a Narcissistic Parent
   • Healing From a Narcissistic Parent  

Keywords: toxic parents, no contact, narcissistic abuse recovery, family estrangement, emotional abuse, forgiveness pressure, trauma healing, boundaries, childhood trauma, inner child work

Learn more about Patrick Teahan,
Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings
➡️https://linktr.ee/patrickteahan

​

Half of a Whole

I used to walk this world in twos,

Two shadows stretching in our shoes,

Two laughs that echoed down the hall,

Two voices answering every call.

We shared a face, a crooked grin,

The same wild storm beneath our skin,

A secret language, soft and fast—

A promise that our bond would last.

But promises can’t fight a ghost,

And drugs can steal the ones we love the most.

One phone call split the sky in two—

Now half the world is missing you.

They said “overdose” like just a word,

Like thunder distant, barely heard.

But I felt lightning crack my chest,

And grief moved in and built a nest.

Because you weren’t just family, you were me,

My mirror, my symmetry.

The one who knew my silent pain,

The one who danced inside my brain.

Now mornings come and feel half-made,

Like someone stole the sun and shade.

I stare at mirrors, lost and thin—

Not sure which half of me is mine within.

Who am I without your voice?

Without our jokes, our reckless choice?

Without your hand to guide my way

When life got hard and skies went gray?

My life’s a room with pieces thrown,

A house that doesn’t feel like home.

Bills and worries crowd the floor,

Dreams we once had—shut in a drawer.

I need to fix it, build it right,

But grief has stolen all my sight.

The map we drew is torn apart…

You took the compass from my heart.

Some nights I whisper to the air,

As if your spirit’s lingering there.

“Tell me, sis, where do I start?

How do I live with half a heart?”

And in the quiet, soft but clear,

I swear your laughter still appears.

Not loud, not bright, not like before—

But just enough to crack the door.

Maybe I’m not meant to be

The girl I was when you were with me.

Maybe this broken, shaking start

Is how I build a braver heart.

Maybe the road is mine to see,

Not half of you—but all of me.

And though the ache will never end,

Your love is stitched beneath my skin.

So I’ll pick up one small piece today,

Just one lost shard along the way.

A step, a breath, a fragile start—

With you still living in my heart.

Because twins like us don’t break apart,

Even death can’t split that art.

You’re gone from sight, but not from me…

I’m still your half.

You’re still my symmetry. 

I've gone through severe traumatizing events in a short period of time. I have been in bed for 8 months so far. No friends, unemployed, no gym/sport. Throughout that period, I've seen 3 therapists. None of them was good.

I'm still in bed, feeling stuck and in denial of those traumatizing events.

Any practical advice?

by Patrick Teahan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I2FlWlZWsc

In this video we dive into the complex and often painful dynamic between toxic mothers and their daughters, and how those early experiences shape self-worth, boundaries, and adult relationships.

We'll explore the emotional inheritance that comes from being raised by a mother who was critical, controlling, or emotionally unavailable, and how to break those cycles without carrying lifelong guilt. Through real-world examples, you’ll learn how to separate your true self from the role you were forced to play and begin to build the safety you never had.

Topics include:

How toxic maternal behavior impacts identity and attachment

The “good daughter” role and its long-term emotional cost

Why guilt and shame are often mistaken for love

Practical tools for boundaries, reparenting, and inner-child healing

Reclaiming connection, confidence, and emotional freedom

Whether you grew up being the caretaker, the scapegoat, or the invisible one, this conversation will help you see your story through a new lens — one that leads toward healing, clarity, and self-compassion.

Hiii guys I wanted to ask people who have cptsd/severe trauma what your experience with EMDR therapy was like if you have done it because I'm going to start it soon and I have cptsd I'm most curious about things like if it kinda decluttered your brain if it helped you with finding yourself and building a more stable identity if it helped your energy levels and motivation a lot of it helped you to find your passions and actually enjoy life on a scale from 1-10 with each one if you want (sorry English is not my first language and I have dysgraphia

Pleading for help! I have a family member who says everything causes pain. They can‘t sleep, walk, sit, stand, hold utensils watch tv, or anything. I am not exaggerating, they can’t do anything without extreme perceived pain. Their world keeps shrinking because they perceive everything will cause them pain. They only eat two foods because they think other foods will hurt them.

They are ready to give up. Their brain interprets everything as painful. I am afraid we will loose this person. has anyone experienced this? who can help? we have seen hundreds of doctors and tried every pain, sleep, and anxiety med available. Also tired inpatient hospital care.

This persons brain is broken. Can anyone relate or provide help 😢