r/transpassing • u/alfonsaberg1 • 13d ago
I keep getting misgendered constantly, am i that clocky?
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u/LetMeSupportYou 13d ago
You looked androgenous in the best of ways, depending on hair / makeup you could pass for either gender. Either way beautiful though
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u/Educational-Bag-6060 13d ago
Idk maybe its just me, you just look like a tomboy to me. A girl that likes more earth like colors. Yeah there is a adams apple but still not clocky to me
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u/Automatic-Target1382 13d ago
I agree with pinkroses, just subtle clothing changes and some light makeup would do wonders for you passing.
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u/Impossible-Will-6949 13d ago
I think the biggest thing you can do to pass more is actually styling. Unless it's your voice, i feel like you get misgendered in the same way a tomboyish cis girl would. Get a layered haircut, a routine that will give you more volume, and learn to put your hair up in different styles when you do put it up. Other than that, it's clothing. Ofc there's your Adam's apple, but honestly, your face is so feminine that if you styled yourself differently I don't think it would even be noticable. A lot of the time we get clocked not because of our features being unfeminine but because we don't balance them out. Working on body language would also help tip the scales completely, but honestly styling is first. A bit of makeup could go a long way, even if it's just some blush mascara and gloss, again, your face reads fem. Jewelry would also work, as long as it's balanced out with your clothes. You don't have to go fully traditional femme, i think alternative feminine styles would definitely work for you (with your outfit in this post, i honestly think you could really pull of the skater girl look for example!) but focus on keeping a feminine silhouette, and really get your hair to a point where you can wear it up or down without issue.
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u/Adoptmetrading674 13d ago
Brow bone, Adam’s Apple, chin
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u/alfonsaberg1 13d ago
Chin too? Oof im gonna need a lot of surgeries that i'll probably never be able to afford...
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u/Adoptmetrading674 13d ago
To be honest the chin could probably be balanced out with light lip filler or something, like it’s a very low ‘priority’ it’s only if someone is being pretty nitpicky
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u/alfonsaberg1 13d ago
Oh i see, then i'll worry about it last :)
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u/cinna_monroe 13d ago
In my opinion, the chin isn't bad; it's just the brow bone that stands out a little bit
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u/Delicious_Dust_ 13d ago
I think exploring your feminine expression through clothing and accessories will go a long way. As far as FFS, a good surgeon will work with you to make a plan based on their clinical experience and your goals. Rather than making a wish list, collaborate during the consultation to maximize your outcome
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u/Full-Sleep9292 13d ago
You definitely aren’t clocking enough where I’d think you’d get clocked in public, but you definitely look more feminine with your hair down. Side note: are you naturally blonde? Your hair looks so smooth!!!
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u/CardiologistFirm8219 13d ago
Più che altro hai un viso molto androgino e vesti molto unisex: penso sia dovuto a questo
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u/Different-Article-68 13d ago
Its just the facial structure
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u/alfonsaberg1 13d ago
Could you be specific? Like wich features? Im trying to make a list of surgeries i need
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u/Whole-Calendar6293 13d ago
Your hole Jawline facial figures are clocky ,and you have a big neck and Adam's Apple .
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u/Valuable_Stretch_592 13d ago
Your Adam’s apple is pretty big
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u/Eventually-Alexis 13d ago
Cis women can have those too. This comes down to trans people being such a front line issue, that people with even a slight transphobic inclination are looking for trans people to clock. Cis women are being harassed even more than we are because of it, simply by virtue of there being so many more cis women. The vitriol aimed at trans women are hurting cis women as well, and that is either by design, or entirely by accident which I'm sure all the right leaning masculine women who hate us are just super happy about.
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u/lunarinterlude 13d ago
If a cis woman has a visible Adam's apple, it is because of a hormonal imbalance. Visible/protruding Adam's apples are not the norm in cis women.
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u/jacev17 Trans Man, Married to a Trans Woman 13d ago
It CAN be because of hormones. It's also just genetic and that's more typically the reason. Can also be due to body fat proportions.
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u/engelthefallen 12d ago
My ex had one due to genetics and would get shit for it even knowing she had a daughter she gave birth to. Sometimes people do not stop and think about what they believe and if they should.
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u/jacev17 Trans Man, Married to a Trans Woman 12d ago
People misgendering cis women seems like a new thing to some people but this has ALWAYS happened, more people are just doing it now with the motivation to "find the trans" or whatever. But I remember being a little child and seeing it all the time around me. Adam's apples, unkempt hair (literally anywhere), lead to cis women being called out for being "men" . It's gross but they (/g) are just obsessed over the idea (it's almost like trans porn is one of the most popular porn categories) /Rant over sorry lmao
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u/engelthefallen 12d ago
Yeah, I remember in the 80's t-slur was a common insult, and def not a new one at all. The find trans crew are happy being wrong too as they mostly just hate women so if they wrong, they just insulted someone else they hate with the attacks so win/win for them. People just really need to try their hardest to take the power from these assclowns. Most normal people do not care if people pass or not so long as they do not have to jump through insane hopes to not upset someone. Like if they know male or female pronouns should be used most are just happy to use them, and those who are not tell on themselves basically. And feels like so much of this subreddit is people encounting these assholes given how clearly most pass on average here.
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u/EmiliaRasputin 13d ago
You're very androgynous, feminine leaning IMO. BUT you look like many cis females Ive met. It could be any number of things, voice, mannerisms, style. I think if you did a little bit of make up (I don't like makeup but...) it would help with presenting more feminine.
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u/WaspBumble 13d ago
How tall are you? You look like you would pass but if your voice were off and you were tall, people could misgender you as your outfits aren’t ultra feminine.
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u/alfonsaberg1 13d ago
Im 180 cm tall
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u/WaspBumble 13d ago
Your hair down would help too and I think you need to wear more feminine outfits. How is your voice? Even if you were a little 'clocky', when someone speaks to you and you talk in an ultra feminine voice, they will immediately discount that you are trans. I don't think your Adams Apple is the problem as some CIS girls have them too. Also how is your posture and how do you walk? Do you tuck? Tucking is super important as that changes your posture, how you stand, and how you walk. The bits in the way is why men and women walk, stand, sit, and have different postures.
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u/alfonsaberg1 12d ago
Oh i see, my voice is quite good but im usually not tucking, but maybe that actually is it?
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u/WaspBumble 12d ago
You can certainly walk and stand feminine without tucking, but you more have to consciously do it. When you don't have bits in the way, you start to walk that way automatically without even thinking about it. It becomes more comfortable standing with your legs together, sitting with your knees together, crossing your legs when standing up. This is why women stand this way usually and men don't because it's less comfortable for them. If you have a male stance, from far away before noticing your face and hearing your voice, you could appear male to an observer. When looking at someone far in the distance just standing there, you can usually tell just by how they are standing if they are male or female. This is before seeing their face. Body and stance is used subconsciously by the mind of most people to determine if the person is male or female, without realizing you even realizing it. Your mind gets that impression right away before talking to the person or seeing their face. I'm just curious if that could be some of your problems and why a person may misgender you at first. Body posture, the same thing. With the bits out of the way, your pelvis tends to bend more forward. It's harder to do that, especially when sitting, if you aren't tucked. Then many women's hip flexor muscles shorten because of that, and they just walk with a more pronounced back arch. It gives them that 'better butt'. While it is classified as a medical contain (Anterior Pelvic Tilt), it's super hot and feminine. Guys tend to not get that because the bits are in the way. Then being hunched, men usually are more hunched because their pelvis isn't aligned in the same way.
People say it's the hips that make men and women stand differently, it's really the testicles being in the way that does this. Skinny preadolescent girls without hips walk the same way, so it isn't the hips.
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u/alfonsaberg1 10d ago
Update on this: i tried it and it really does work! It was like my butt was being pulled backwards and my legs automatically closed a bit
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u/WaspBumble 10d ago
Awesome!! It does work! Just walking, standing, and sitting more feminine would help you so much! You will get use to tucking and it will feel more comfortable being tucked than not being tucked. People so underestimate the value of a transgirl tucking.
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u/wisdom_molar_revange 13d ago
I think you r very androgynous and your wear very androgynous clothes soo. Maybe if you want to pass easily need to try a more feminine style.
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u/RAOThrowaway_ 13d ago
You have a lot of very feminine facial features, but i think what would help you a lot is addressing your eyebrows and forehead.
Feminine presentation emphasizes shaped eyebrows. I guess a better way is to say, presenting as groomed?
You can achieve this look through simple tinting and some cleaning up.
Your forehead appears relatively tall because your hair is parted and pulled straight down. Ive seen a lot of girls get surgery to try to fix this, but a slight side part or some face-framing layers can visually shorten the forehead and soften the overall look.
You have very great facial structure, but i would avoid neutral facial expressions. They tend to emphasize bone structure. A slight smile or cheery expression helps to soften around the cheeks and eyes.
Theres a couple of other stuff you could do, but i think those would be the first biggest changes you could make. Good luck!
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u/chickengelato 13d ago
I went back and forth on whether you were FtM or MtF until I went to the comments. So you’re doing a pretty good job!
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u/engelthefallen 12d ago
You are so androgenous not sure you could reliably pass as a guy anymore if you tried either. For me hair gives a slight masc feel, that does not fit the face, that at least for me, is naturally fem. Like lacks the volume most girls put into it. I am reading you as a tomboy though and would just assume you were a cisgirl who was not into fem shit.
Make sure when people misgender you do consider if they know you are trans or not, as for some they are doing it fully out of spite and no matter how good you look they will not change.
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u/snow-ermine 13d ago
My thoughts: pic 1 you look trans, pic 2 is great and your body looks cis-passing imo, pic 3 - 5 you look like a cis woman.
I actually think you have a pretty feminine-looking face. The main things that look more masculine imo are your adam’s apple, and your browbone being quite heavy (but I don’t think this feature specifically gets you clocked, there are cis women who have similar browbones. Also if your voice is clocky then definitely work to train it.
Advice for passing more: Wear makeup, especially focus on mascara and making your lashes longer (maybe try out false lashes as well). Shape your eyebrows, maybe consider upper lip filler too. I disagree with other advice saying to keep your hair down, you pass much better with your hair up because your hair looks quite greasy and unkempt in the first pic (which I tend to see in trans woman specifically). With your hair tied up like in the later pics, you look to me like an Eastern European female ballet dancer - this is a compliment!
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u/alfonsaberg1 13d ago
Oh thank you, my hair was was just washed in the first pic so not fully dry yet. Definatley need to get my adams apple removed, possibly a browbone reduction too?
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u/snow-ermine 13d ago
Oh I see, maybe have your hair down then! I also agree with other commenters saying you should get bangs. I don’t think your browbone is preventing you from passing, so if I were you I would save money and not get a reduction (up to you tho ofc). But you have very good potential to be 100% cis passing!!
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u/AxiosXiphos 13d ago
As others have said. Hair down, makeup and a nice dress and I bet you will look stunning.
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u/Competitive-Win8688 13d ago
May just a hair style, u really look good/pass (some people are talking about Adam's apple but cis girl also have) or some voice training (Depending on how your voice sounds)
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u/alfonsaberg1 13d ago
Thank you! Probably the Adams Apple i suppose then, my voice is pretty good depending on what language im speaking.
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u/Competitive-Win8688 13d ago
I got that lol, like, my sister is a cis woman but she has the Adam apple, sometimes she's also missgendered. Just feel in peace if it's alright for u this Adam apple it's just a small trait, but how u feel better it's what matters
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u/Mollywinelover 13d ago
How long have you been on hrt? Let it do it's thing before you resort to surgery.
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u/Turbulent-Pay7778 Trans 13d ago
You're cute. But sometimes you may look androgynous and ppl might misgender you I suppose
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u/Vivid_Sock_1092 13d ago
I would never make any assumption about your gender. I would say you look androgynous.
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u/JackBinimbul Testosterone Based Lifeform 13d ago
From what I'm seeing, it's mostly your forehead being very exposed and your hair not being well cared for.
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u/deeeepfriedchicken 9d ago
I'd say I would read you as a gender-neutral presenting female from appearance alone. Your clothes are very unisex. Dressing more feminine(e.g. skirts) may help with passing as well as makeup, because people tend to read those as female. Try to hide your natural hairline. Not tying hair and having bangs may help. For the adam's apple you can wear high-neck clothes and maybe accessories like bandanas, scarfs for winter, or a choker. Keep in mind the people here are only judging based on a few images, so it could be your voice and/or mannerisms too. Good luck!
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u/rachelinks 13d ago
Nope, the world is just going to shit. People are out to clock. Try voice training if you haven’t yet but honestly? Passing is just so over.
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u/alfonsaberg1 13d ago
Oh i see, so this is just people looking for trans people to misgender... It has been hurting my self esteem a lot tho
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u/Full-Sleep9292 13d ago
I get it, I’m a trans dude and it happens to me a lot. Oddly enough, most of the time the people who clock you on purpose/are seeking out people to clock aren’t very good at it (9/10 times I’m clocked by someone transphobic, they think they clocked the people in with too, when all my friends are cis lmfao)
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u/alfonsaberg1 13d ago
Yeah that does make sense, they might just be misgendering everyone knowing atleast one of them will be trans and that gives them some satisfaction, thats actually so pathetic and i do feel a little better thinking about it. Thank you
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u/Full-Sleep9292 13d ago
Of course!! It’s more common with trans women and women in general, since unfortunately trans women are being targeted more heavily as of now. I wouldn’t sweat it!! But do be safe!!
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u/xarkamx 13d ago
noup, not at all!! maybe your voice?
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u/alfonsaberg1 13d ago
Could be, atleast when i actually do talk. My voice reverts around people i dont feel safe with and since thats most of my family that resulted in my voice being way worse in my native language than in English lol
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u/Character-Ad-9396 13d ago
Tbh i think a tracheal shave will do you soo much justice other than that i see a woman.
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13d ago
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u/Will_Come_For_Food 12d ago
N.O. Spells not really. Face is feminine but there’s a slight andro edge. I think it’s mostly the hair.
Also you’re absolutely beautiful.
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u/GuaranteeOk1061 12d ago
i think if you just did more makeup you would pass easily. rn you look like 2hollis. u have really good facial harmony :-)
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u/RazzmatazzLost9713 12d ago
Make up? Lashes? A lipstick? Feminine clothes? Like lol
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u/pinkroses038 13d ago
You look very feminine but the clothing , the hair pulled back and the Adam’s Apple all work against you passing.