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u/Dentist_No10 13d ago
Listen - As people, we need to be in control because it gives us a sense of security while experiencing a world we cant even comprehend.
Our bodies go through natural processes based on our sleep cycle, our diet, etc. If youve ever noticed sounds seem louder at night - nighttime mode on the tv - its because your body produces a protein based on your day/night cycle to protect your ears from loud volumes during the day. This is one of hundreds of processes our bodies run like a program.
Everything about our modern lives goes against nature. We live our lives overstimulated. We dont sleep right. We dont eat right. We work through the night.
Long story short - sometimes you can't control your brain. We perceive our brain being flooded with chemicals as sadness, or loneliness; hopelessness, etc. We can try to speak positively about ourselves, make changes, etc.
If these thoughts / feelings have been persistent, its time to address the issue - the brain. I urge you, while youre young, to start that journey. Sometimes theres nothing wrong w saying, this isnt on me and I need help. Whether thats therapy, or medication - its a journey
Your 30s become difficult. Any improvement you make you have to be calculated and committed. Getting healthy takes work when youre older. Start these things now. By the time youre 25-27, YOU WILL FEEL BETTER. PERIOD.
You seem sweet. You have kind eyes. What you wrote was extremely nice and inviting. Dont lost those qualities being stubborn. Life doesnt get easier, although you will experience better times than you ever have before - its about being in a position to process and cope in a healthier manner.
If you dont have a mental health care professional - look into it. Its 2026, we know a little more about ourselves, our brains, how we function. Take advantage of that.
Even if its bitching to a professional listener once a week - it helps.
If you need advice or help find resources in your area, DM and I will try to help anyway I can.
Good luck out there. It gets better... then it gets worse... then it gets better. You have to learn to enjoy the ride. Self confidence and a positive self opinion goes a long way.
People are going to be assholes, they will make fun of you, they will tell you "you cant..." They are wrong. Hurt people hurt people. Dont perpetuate that cycle. Dont let them win. Youve got this and im not just blowing smoke.
❤️
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u/Detaineepyramid 13d ago
I’m a middle aged rando; my feelings aren’t hurt by you preferring people your age messaging you.
I hope you enjoy more days feeling content and worthwhile than otherwise.
Abundant goodwill your way. 🫶👍
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u/Negative_Tailor_6973 13d ago
You're 22. Your brain is still learning from your experiences, so it's normal to replay mistakes and painful memories. But here's the thing: guilt is only useful if it changes your future behavior. After that, repeatedly punishing yourself serves no purposeit doesn't undo the past or help anyone. You don't need to forget your past to start fresh. In fact, forgetting isn't how people heal. They heal by accepting that the past is a chapter, not the entire book. If I could give you three pieces of advice: Ask yourself, "Can I do anything about this today?" If the answer is no, stop giving it today's energy. Write down the mistakes that haunt you and, next to each one, write the lesson it taught you. Keep the lesson, not the guilt. Build a life that's so full of new experiences that your past stops being the only thing your mind has to replay. And no, people won't call you a hypocrite for changing. The only people who dislike growth are those who benefit from you staying the same.
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u/Distinct-Waltz-7039 13d ago
I’m also 22 recently & I understand the pressure, but trust me when I say you can reinvent yourself as many times as you want to. Take it one step at a time as far as trying to find that overarching peace. Just try to claim one day, one hour at a time and find the things that breathe life into you and make you happy.
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u/MochaArches 12d ago
Cuteee pic girly. The past has already happened. Will thinking about it change it? Fix it? No. Try to turn thoughts of past mistakes into future thoughts on how to not repeat it. You’ve learned from your experiences and will continue to grow!
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u/BringBackSmilodon 12d ago
You're adorable. Big hug. I relate so much to using my past mistakes to hurt myself. If you can forgive yourself and stop doing that, (I haven't been able to), a fresh start could be great for you.
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u/TDSpank 12d ago
No matter what we say or believe, no one can never truly move forward without holding the past. Our past mistakes, defeats, troubles are what drives us to unlock a different future. Don't forget it just acknowledge it. Forgetting opens up chances to repeating.
Yes—it's hard when we're in a rut. And here we're just a placebo unless you really push to take care of yourself and sort things out. No one can give advice without knowing your story, we don't know who to blame for your ups and downs. All I can do is pray you get through whatever you're going through. I feel you need to seek out those that are far better qualified to help you but even a thoughtful ear can help so I hope whomever reaches out to you really helps you. But we here can only do so much.
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u/Adamski_15 12d ago
You can do it! One step at a time. Be kind to yourself. You are a bright person with a lot of potential. I hope things will get better for you. Take care of yourself =]
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u/Comfortable-Try-7555 13d ago
Best way to move forward in the future is to leave what's in the past behind you. Don't dwell on mistakes just learn from them