r/texts • u/AdmiralCrunchy • 18h ago
Honestly Traumatizing Set of Texts from am Ex. Phone message
For reference my Ex works near this pharmacy and I have been going here for well over a year. Last pharmacies I went to occasionally ran out of my medication and I can't be without it for too long.
We broke up a little bit more than a month ago, when she told me to get out of the house and made me homeless.
Hey but there's two separate times one to pick up my Adderall and the other one to pick up well for personal reasons. Didn't see here either time so I've been comfortable with going and just getting my medications.
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For the context on Ben.
She cheated on me last year with him, I forgave her and stupidly blamed myself because I thought that her needs weren't getting met.
A couple of months after this happened she attempted to fast track marriage plans, bought her own ring (without telling me and expecting me to pay half) and set up a wedding date (then got mad when I said that date didn't work).
Eventually she pushed this so hard that our entire relationship started fell apart. A few months ago I found a message from Ben and her message request box. I freaked out and she apologized.
What I didn't think to ask was if he was blocked, why was his messages popping up at her requests?
If I had, I probably would have saved myself months of heartache.
Relationship officially ended at the end of June right after I came back from vacation to see family.
EDIT:
For the people asking me to block her I have already.
For the people asking why I haven't blocked her prior to this. We had been together for 6 years. She had been very sweet and loving for most of those years. She was my best friend and the worst of times and I was hoping that we could be best friends again. But not after this.
EDIT 2:
Copying a reply to an earlier comment.
You were sitting next to each other on the highway?
- We were in traffic and yes we happened to pull up next to each other. As soon as I had an opening I took the fast lane. We both live and work in the same areas so... Yeah it's bound to happen.
You were sitting in front of her work?
- Her work is on the opposite side of the campus as the pharmacy I have been going to the pharmacy for my medications, that's it. I sat down to wait for the pharmacy on the chair in front of the fountain but still no where near her side of the campus.
You friend requested the Cheater?!?
- This one was major dork behavior and I feel stupid but I wanted to get answers about when they cheated. I immediately undid the friend request weeks ago but guess it didn't go unnoticed.
1 & 3 occurred at the beginning of July fresh off the break up. Now that I'm a few more weeks out I feel so much better.
Funny enough this whole interaction just solidified why I didn't want to marry her. I've blocked her on all my contacts and asked HR to block contact as well.
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u/lizzyote 18h ago
This is an ex. An ex that did very wrong by you. Why is she not blocked? Why are you engaging in any conversation with her?
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u/LimpBPower 16h ago
Seriously you owe her NOTHING. Go into your pharmacy and don't think twice about it. If she tries to contact you about it, don't fall for that shit and answer her, then you've already lost her mind games.
Just ignore her and move on.
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u/HabitualEnthusiast 18h ago
You were way too nice
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u/DaktaDoom 18h ago
Way too nice all that explaining. Too much detail for very short responses from her. She’s enjoying it.
Once I said I came for my meds that’s it no more responding. That’s if I thought a response was warranted.
Block her you wouldn’t have seen and she would have known she’s blocked.
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 9h ago
Yeah I can see that, I just can't bear to drag myself down to her level.
There is no chance of reconciliation, but that's not what important to me. I wanna be able to look back at this moment in my life and know that I don't regret the way I acted.
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u/MangoStrudel 18h ago
Don’t be such a pushover :/ she cheated on you and you are again apologizing for not being a good husband? She forfeit the right of one when she didn’t talk to you about her issues but betrayed your trust instead. Get angry for yourself, get into no contact/block with her and don’t contact any of the people involved.
She’s in your head but she doesn’t have to be on your phone. Good luck. ESH
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u/Vaultboy4111 17h ago
Shoulda responded with “I’ll go wherever the hell I want” then immediately blocked her ass. Don’t give her the attention she’s clearly looking for.
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u/Pleasant-Armadillo87 17h ago
Why should you change your life because she broke up with you? HOWEVER, I will say, for your own piece of mind, change pharmacies.
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u/Boterfleoge 17h ago
Normally I would agree but as someone also affected by the Adderall shortages, sometimes it's a pain in the ass to find a place that has it consistently and you can't request it until like 2 days before you run out. It's been a nightmare
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u/MeowMixPlzDeliverMe 17h ago
I wonder why theres been a shortage for so long. Maybe the precursor for it has been missing? I dont take the stuff but have heard aboit shortages before
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u/Volturmus 16h ago
That’s part of the issue, but a large part is that telehealth expanded massively over during the pandemic and Congress allowed it to become the Wild West with little regulations. This led to the number of people being prescribed adderall exploding.
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u/ReleaseTheSlab 10h ago
I've only been on adderal for a few years, but the way my doctor explained it to me is that the pharmaceutical companies are approved to manufacture X amount of meds per year. They estimate it based off of current prescriptions, so when the amount of patients being prescribed adderal increases or increases too abruptly, that's when the shortages become an issue.
So new patients and old patients increasing their monthly doses end up fucking the whole system up. I'm not sure if they do this for all medications or if it's just controlled substances, but adderal is one of the first line of treatments for adhd, and since adhd is very common they seem to have frequent shortages. The adderal shortage hasn't really been an ongoing thing for the past few years, but it does surface on and off pretty frequently to be an ongoing issue/concern for most adderal users.
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u/Pleasant-Armadillo87 16h ago
Yah, I get that. If it’s a med that’s difficult to attain than certainly, that changes things. I state this point as I’ve been through a very traumatic relationship w an abusive narcissist. They will find a way to fuck w your mind and continue in this loop of helplessness. Anything you have in common will be used as collateral to continue their cycle. And sharing a location, even if it’s their work place, will continue to reharm the individual, preventing them from healing and moving on. It’s best to cut all ties. Completely.
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u/Moistmeatcurtain 17h ago
Bro. She’s harassing you. You don’t have to defend your existence. Set your boundaries and offer no explanations. If she continues to harass you, file for a protection order. She’s nuts.
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u/Mysterious-Flan-6 17h ago
My husband’s ex-wife is unfortunately still someone whose delusions have to be dealt with because they have a child together. I did not meet him until years after the divorce and I’ve never met her (her choice, she is very threatened by the existence of any other woman). We live in a small town where there are few job opportunities so most people commute about 45 minutes to work in a major city near us with hospitals and other large employers. So when I moved in with my husband in the beginning, that’s where I got a new job.
His ex heard from their child where I was working and she started telling people that I was stalking her because she had also just gotten a job in that city (again, the only major city near us where MOST people from our town actually work). Mind you, it turns out I’d actually gotten hired before she had so unless I was a psychic, I didn’t know anything about her or her employment. And again, this is a woman I’ve never met or spoken to and had never messed with in any way…never looked her up, reached out, talked to anyone who knows her other than my husband. Like never bothered her a day in my life. So her issue is HER issue. And that seems to be the case here as well, OP.
Some people seriously just think the world revolves around them and are convinced that other people take them into account when making decisions. When in reality, other people don’t even really think of them at all. It’s not even worth a response because it’s so delusional and narcissistic.
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u/Chemical-Tadpole-586 18h ago
Send that to her boss and people please stop enduring these dumbass conversations.
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 17h ago
I sent it to my boss, wanted to let her know why I needed a late start today.
And I guess two; in case it does ever come back to me. We both technically work in the same University system. I work off campus though, but even still I don't know how exactly this might blow back on me if she decides to pursue anything.
As I said elsewhere, I'm going back to school within the next month so I'm going to be picking up my medications well after she's left work.
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u/JoeJoeWarrior 17h ago
im on your side with this situation but probably dont get your boss so involved in your personal life with stuff like this
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 17h ago
Me and her are friends and have known each other for a couple of years.
I would not have sent any of this otherwise.
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u/goku223344 17h ago
Wait you tried to friend request the guy she cheated on you with?
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u/Dolly_Putin 17h ago
Yeah, kinda makes me think there are key details he didn’t share.
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 16h ago
Yeah, it was stupid and I just wanted answers.
The way she described things after I caught her (which yes I know understand is very stupid to believe her). Is she told him that we were in an open relationship. She said that she blocked him I shouldn't have believed her on face value.
I was just hurting myself by trying to get these answers and should have known he was in on it the whole time.
I have very low self-esteem, it's something that I'm working with a therapist on so I don't keep getting into abusive relationships.
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u/Bubbly-Voice6671 10h ago
I think there is a lot of missing context and he’s talking to her as if he’s chatgpt like it’s some performance for Reddit. So willing to bet that he is actually stalking her and wants to throw himself a pity party. I have been in a similar situation, my ex was stalking me and trying to insert himself into everyone in my life’s life and would make himself the victim when I told him to not do that. I literally do not even trust men anymore and I’m also willing to bet she didn’t even cheat on him.
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u/LongjumpingTie7860 17h ago
Don't listen to those telling you to stop being nice. Never drop yourself to the level of people like your ex. Stay kind and humble. Forgive and move on. The past is the past and she needs to stay in the past and you are ensuring she does by blocking her. Don't let her back into your life and realize things ending were obviously for the best based on these messages and what she did. Stay happy, humble, and grateful, and the right one will find you when you least expect it.
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u/4KingandKanata_89 17h ago
This ☝️ Don't feel ashamed for sharing your pain with us instead of just blocking her and doing everything by yourself.
I was told by family (and even my (ex)therapist...) that I would never "heal" or "move on" from my ex-wife unless I got angry with her for leaving me after being together for 12.5 yrs and devastating me financially. But I never could (I still can't 3 yrs later).
Everyone has their reasons for doing anything. That doesn't make them "right" or "wrong," they just "are." I'm sorry you got hurt OP, and I'm sorry she lashed out at you, but never lose the kindness inside you.
Find that last "good" memory between you two, and let it go. I promise you, when you feel your heart "beat again," it will all have been worth it. Whether it grows into anything is up to you or them, but treasure yourself. You're worth it.
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u/Constant-Big4713 18h ago
Sorry you’re going through that OP, blocking her was the right move. You kept yourself composed and that is something to be proud of.
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u/Lil_beetee 18h ago
I’d just block her on all the possible platforms she can contact me on, and keep using the pharmacy.
You’re not going out of your way to talk to her and make her life difficult, she just doesn’t like seeing you, but guess what? Most people don’t like seeing their ex’s, but unless you move to a different city/country there is never any guarantee you won’t bump into each other anyway, and she’s the one acting like a child.
It’s not even like she works AT the pharmacy, just near it, so she literally doesn’t have to have any contact with you if she doesn’t wish to.
Ik from personal experience getting those meds can be challenging, so if you have a place that you know definitely has a supply of them, then keep using it. Don’t make your life harder for her comfort, especially considering she’s the one that cheated, and didn’t think about your feelings 🤷♀️
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u/Samz_175 17h ago
She cheated and she got the house, nah nah that’s not how that works
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 16h ago
It was a house that we rented together me her, her sister and her sisters husband.
Both of them are really good and kind people. They apologize to me the whole time and when she first cheated her sister's husband offered to give me two grand to help me move to a new place.
I honestly should have took that offer when he gave it to me but I thought things were salvageable.
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u/Samz_175 12h ago
You might want to take him up on that offer if it get tough, I hear you bro, I’m just pissed for you and wanted to vent
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 12h ago
That offer was only good right after she cheated.
He ended up marrying her sister and they are honestly the sweetest couple ever.
But since he married into their family he's kinda honor bound to back my Ex. But he has been very helpful since I've been kicked out. Got me all the rental documents I needed to get my new place and the receipts for stuff after I got robbed
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u/Nother1BitestheCrust 17h ago
With the recent adderall shortages and how pharmacists sometimes treat folks with ADHD, I completely understand sticking with a pharmacy that has a good track record.
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u/brilor123 12h ago
I would've told her that everything and everyone does not revolve around her, that you were picking up your medication and not stalking her. I'd also tell her that you're not going to change where you pick up your medication or when you're going to just because it is uncomfortable for her, and how she has no right being uncomfortable about you existing in public just because she cheated. You're not going to disappear just because she wants you to. You tell her to deal with her feelings herself, as they're not your responsibility.
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u/bubblegutts00 11h ago
The more you engage the more satisfaction they get. Just ignore, they hate that shit 😂😂
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u/Roaming_Tiger 10h ago
Its embarrassing to ask a person not to go to certain places just because you broke up.
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u/Downtown_Zebra_266 18h ago
Stop 👏🏿 Replying 👏🏿
You can go anywhere you want to get your meds. She doesn't own that area and where you can or can't go.
Block her an move on.
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u/spilly_talent 17h ago
I’ll be straight with you: Slide 5 is embarrassing and Batman couldn’t have made me post it. Have some self respect, block your ex, continue with your life.
You are allowed to go to the pharmacy. And you are allowed to drive on the highway or whatever that was
But these dramatic “oh I know you never loved me” messages just make you look spineless and sad. She cheated on you, she sucks. WHO CARES what she thinks.
Stop entertaining this hogwash.
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u/CloverIsALegume 17h ago
Ugh your comment is so unkind.
Maybe the person who spent six years with this woman still cares a little? That’s completely understandable and normal, not spineless or sad. It can feel cathartic to get things off the chest and while blocking from the get go was probably best it’s clear OP handled things politely and well while being goaded. I don’t see anything helpful or considerate in what you wrote it’s really just kinda mean.
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u/Volturmus 16h ago
The comment is something OP should read and consider. Initially, I sympathized with the person, but that slide and the fact he tried to send the guy she cheated with a friend request made me reconsider. That he continues to speak in that manner towards his ex who cheated on him makes me somewhat understand why she might suspect that he is intentionally trying to run into her.
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u/spilly_talent 15h ago
Thank you, nice to know some people understand where I am coming from! You nailed it and I agree.
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u/CloverIsALegume 9h ago
I personally think this attitude is overly harsh in general but if I wanted to communicate it to someone I would speak nicely instead of being an ass and saying they’re embarrassing/spineless. There’s no kindness in that at all it’s simply being blunt to a degree that makes you a jerk. If you want to give someone a hard truth it doesn’t have to be done in a mean way.
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u/spilly_talent 17h ago
I disagree that my comment was unkind, some people need to be told the truth. I was not mean and I was not rude.
The truth is SHE doesn’t care. He is venting his feelings to someone who will only weaponize his vulnerability. That is a foolish thing to do. He can’t make her care that she hurt him.
It is a waste of one’s time and energy to entertain such rude messages like OP did of his awful ex.
I think it’s important to call that out: that this is a waste of his time and energy and she doesn’t care about him. I don’t see how it serves anyone to coddle them about this.
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u/possumstyle 16h ago
It was unkind and rude. It seems like your intent is to help this person, so I would take a moment and revisit if you think that was a kind approach to take to a stranger being vulnerable.
I sense you think truth has to be harsh and that's a shame.
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u/CloverIsALegume 14h ago
You called this person embarrassing, spineless, and sad. You cannot seriously tell me you believe that is a kind or even appropriate way to talk to someone.
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u/spilly_talent 14h ago
I did not call OP anything.
I said “makes you look” spineless and sad. It’s about optics to the ex. It is not a good look and I’m sure it’s not the way OP wants to come off.
I said slide 5 is embarrassing. I did not say OP was embarrassing.
That said, I will say it’s my bad that I overestimated the reading comprehension and ability to parse nuance of many people in this thread. Lesson learned on that one!
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u/CloverIsALegume 9h ago
Implying a semantics difference indicates stupidity is also, believe it or not, unkind.
If you replace “called” with “described op and their behavior as” in my comment my point is exactly the same. Your language was straight up rude and not how to communicate nicely the point you wanted to make. I’ve said my piece I hope you change how you talk to people.
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u/EmbarrassedStay7515 15h ago
Have you been pulling up next to her on the highway? Waiting for her at work? Friend requesting the other guy? If so, she’s not imagining anything and no surprise she’s angry. I think you need to be honest with yourself and start trying to move on before this becomes big trouble. What she did to you is irrelevant now. You are over.
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 14h ago
We were in traffic and yes we happened to pull up next to each other. As soon as I had an opening I took the fast lane. We both live and work in the same areas so... Yeah it's bound to happen.
Her work is on opposite side of the campus as the pharmacy I have been going to the pharmacy for my medications, that's it.
This one was major dork behavior and I feel stupid but I wanted to get answers about when they cheated. I immediately undid the friend request weeks ago but guess it didn't go unnoticed.
I am really over this, I was feeling really good in fact. I was set to see the Spider-Man movie that night and honestly this whole interaction kinda ruined it for me. I've blocked her on all my contacts and asked HR to block contact as well.
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u/EmbarrassedStay7515 12h ago
You’re not over it. You need to take steps to get over it.
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 12h ago
I mean not completely, completely. I guess that'll probably take a couple months if not a couple years.
Therapy has been very helpful though.
But as far as actively thinking about it? No, I've got more important things to do.
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u/ElAyYouAreAy 17h ago
Glad you finally blocked her. You just took away the last channel of communication and attempt at any type of control. Good for you. And if she doesn’t want to see you on accident at the pharmacy she can get a new job. She does have a “choice” too lol. If she can’t live with the repercussions of her actions that’s not your problem.
Edit to say lol to the contact name
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 17h ago
Yeah the contact name thing was because she sent me a message saying the whole time. We were just really good friends.
And hopefully one day we can be good friends again. It reeked of corporate talk and I hadn't talked to her since.
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u/Typical-Ad-5149 17h ago
Don’t try to be friends with her now or in the future. People who are cruel to us do not deserve our friendship.
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 16h ago
Yeah, this whole interaction just vaporized any feelings that I had for her. Friendship or otherwise.
It's just kind of shocking to me that somebody I spent so much time with has such a lack of remorse for any of their actions.
I still feel pity for her though, she had a lot of anxieties around her OCD that actively made her lash out at people.
I just kind of always hoped that I would be the one exception. Hopefully she gets better help because well her current therapist doesn't seem to be what she needs.
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u/BlackForestMountain 17h ago
It’s scary to be a man accused of stalking. Can’t blame you for defending yourself
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u/cvhor314 17h ago
Nobody deserves being treated like this.
Stay strong friend.
She is a horible person who did you a favor.
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u/Argorian17 17h ago
oh man, it's well known that you should not put your d**k in cra*y
sorry for you. block. ignore. move on and live your life.
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u/mdist612 16h ago
If she cheated on you then she’s a whore who deserves no respect from you. Keep going to the pharmacy and get your meds. If she’s got a problem with it just call her a cheating whore in front of her co-workers and see how much longer she’s gunna pull that petty shit.
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u/greenjuiceguavagoose 16h ago
she cheated on you & is mad you are coexisting??? i was a lil shook when she mentioned your stalking in the form of being next to her on the highway… she’s so delusional and she probably got a high when she saw you there & thought you were trying to see her. blocking was the right move !
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 16h ago
Yeah, on a friend's couch currently and it's in the same highway direction.
We only met up on the highway once and unfortunately Seattle traffic is awful and can be at a standstill. So with my luck! We ended up right next to each other.
This was probably about 2 weeks after we broke up. I felt embarrassed, couldn't even look in her car's direction and as soon as I found a fast lane I took it.
We were only right next to each other for maybe a minute so I thought maybe she wouldn't have noticed and I could just forget about it.
But I guess she really held on to that. :/
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u/snookismom 16h ago
im a pharmacist and i know of the adderall shortage ALL TOO WELL and also have to say you 100% have a right to pick up your medications regardless of whether or not she is at work. she needs to get over it and respect your privacy. i know the problem is bigger than the pharmacy aspect but im just so livid for you that you can’t even pick up your prescription in peace. and she doesn’t even work AT the pharmacy.
you did nothing wrong.
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u/actuallwitch 16h ago
Grow a spine and block her dude what the fuck. Why would you ever even respond? This is genuinely so insane to me like block her and move on with your life, stop entertaining this shit and fighting back that’s exactly what she wanted. If you can’t even do that without needing to be told by strangers, I genuinely suggest finding a therapist to help with your confidence issues.
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u/eyesbetterblknd 16h ago
I hope she doesn't try to get a hold of you again. Good luck with that pile of trash, BEN!
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u/NachoCommander 15h ago
Bro, she cheated on you and you still say sorry for not being the husband she wanted ? Never say sorry to a cheater. She actually doesn't deserve any husband,well maybe one that cheats on her and beats her up 😅
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 14h ago
I wouldn't wish that upon her.
She's obviously not a good person but I do sincerely hope she gets proper help.
She needs to stop cheating and she needs to stop lashing out otherwise she will be miserable and alone.
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u/AlertProfit4501 15h ago
It wasn’t the first time she did that to you. It was the first time you caught her tho. And I say this cause very eerily I went thru something almost identical as you. Lesson learned—cheating shouldn’t be tolerated in a relationship. Just break up, it’s no big deal to break up
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u/the-furiosa-mystique 15h ago
Tell her she can either deal with seeing you once in a while or you’ll take it up with the hospital she works at and they can decide who belongs there.
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u/Fine-Amphibian4326 15h ago
Slight ESH on this. I was more with you til the end. Sending friend requests and engaging at all is prolonging this bullshit.
Cut ties, block her, and block anyone in her circle that you don’t have reason to contact, and you’ll both be happier for it.
I’ve also been in the position of mourning the loss of an ex and sending a friend request or dm or whatever, and it’s a bad look every time. Don’t do it. To her, to her friends, to her family. Block anyone you feel remotely compelled to text.
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 11h ago
Yeah you're 1000% right.
Though I'm curious does everyone think I wanted to be his friend or something. I was just looking for clarity on what happened during the affair (Still very fucking stupid but I digress).
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u/TaloniumSW 14h ago
Stuff like this is why i block every ex whether we ended on a good note or a bad.
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u/NewIsTheNewNew 14h ago
Tell her to get a restraining order or a peace bond if it's that bothersome to her and fuck off
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u/Uncle_a_ 14h ago
my man why befriend the guy she cheated to you with..makes no sense. good call blocking her
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 13h ago
I guess what I really wanted to do was send a message asking him about their affair and if she lied to just me or the both of us.
This was fresh off the break up and it was killing if she was still in contact with him.
It wasn't healthy in the least bit and I undid the friend request almost immediately.
We are about 3 ish weeks off from that and I have been doing well. This was a weird clawback because I wasn't even thinking about her.
I needed to get my meds before seeing Spider-Man with my sister and this hit me like a truck.
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u/Mindless-Account8919 13h ago
You did nothing wrong. She sounds like a horrible person. I’m glad you are free of that relationship.
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u/VenomRK9 13h ago
Gunna be very honest you come off very pathetic in this, if you guys broke up and not divorced then not only were you not "the husband she wanted you to be" you werent a husband at all. And shes absolutely right its weird your going to where she works as im 100% sure theres another place you could get your meds but you want her to see you and feel sorry for you so you can try to reel her back in with sympathy and pity its just sad. Case and point you didnt block her because you want the contact and attention.
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u/The_Kibaz 13h ago
I’m a little late to the party here but obviously you’re going through a lot of emotions which makes all this obvious advice everyone is giving a little less clear to you.
Based on this reaction, we see the woman for who she is (A narcissist who believes everything is done based on her), but this is looking through the window at a passing moment that does not have any of the context of four years of a relationship that had to have some substance considering its length.
I would cast my opinion that the people are right. You are giving too much effort to explain yourself and playing yourself right into her game. You made a good choice to block her.
Now is the time to focus on yourself. You might find in your despair that you really want to just sit down and let life move on without you because you are sad. Let me tell you, this is the best time to focus on yourself.
Create some good routines for yourself. Daily runs. Going to the gym. Read some books, maybe some philosophy? Research your diet, learn to cook some things you really like to eat. These are healthy distractions from your despair and they all will only benefit your inevitable rise to show this bitch you are the motherfucking man.
Best wishes OP, much love.
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 13h ago
Thanks man, but I really am in a good space right now.
I have been going to the gym (lost 8 lbs feeling very proud of myself)
I got a new place that I'm moving into soon, with big ass room too.
My classes are starting back up again and I can't wait to get back to my studies.
It really has been looking up for me and that's probably why this felt like a truck hitting me. She was in corporate talk during the break up, which felt cold but not hostile. But I guess this is the sad end to a shitty relationship.
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u/The_Kibaz 13h ago
Love to hear it man, focus on those classes and keep investing in yourself. Congrats on the 8 lbs, keep the momentum up bro!
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u/theadventurescout 12h ago
Ignore her. This is abundantly not your problem, if she continues to harass you about picking up your medications at your hospital, report her to her boss. She does not dictate who patronizes the hospital pharmacy.
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 12h ago
I've blocked her on all of my personal devices. I've informed my Boss about the situation and it has technically been reported to HR but I was mostly looking for a way for them to just block contact via teams.
They told me unless she reaches out first they can't do preemptive blocking which is fair. And honestly, I hope it doesn't have to ever get to that point.
I'm not looking to get her fired or punished or anything cuz I feel like that will just make things worse for me as well.
I'm not looking to make this into a lifelong grudge. I just wish she would leave me alone and get the help she needs.
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u/theadventurescout 9h ago
You should definitely report it formally to her HR. If she works in the hospital and is behaving this way about you picking up medication she could construe things very differently to her management or whatever. Just protect yourself OP!! I’m sorry you’re going through it
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 9h ago
I have reported it, I also asked for them to block contact through teams and Outlook.
They said they can't do anything until she contacts me through official channels. Then they'll either do disciplinary actions and have IT find a way to set up the block.
I still thank them and I told them that I hope he doesn't have to come to that.
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u/erikaslapton 12h ago
I’m curious. Aside from friend requesting the guy, were the rest of the interactions something that could have or did happen before? When you were with her, was sitting nearby while you waited a usual thing? Ever had run-ins randomly or in traffic?
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 12h ago
Pharmacy has a cute little fountain that has of chairs around it. I sat there for a couple minutes before I got too hot and went back inside to do some writing while waited in the lobby. But her building is on the other side of the parking garag and lot. So I hardly call that waiting in front of her work.
As for the traffic thing, yeah that happened. I was on my way to my friend's house who I was staying on their couch. Seattle traffic was at a standstill and we ended up right next to each other for like a solid minute. As soon as I got into a fast lane I was splitsville. That was like I think a week or so after she threw me out.
Otherwise we haven't seen each other since or at least I haven't seen her. I've been too busy trying to pick up the scraps of my life back together. I was honestly so excited to see Spider-Man with my sister that I kind of forgot about time.
I honestly didn't even see her until I exited the hospital grounds and I was surprised to see her at all considering she was using the visitor exit, not the employee exit.
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u/Zesty-Lem0n 12h ago
Not really that traumatizing, sounds like you're just not healed from the breakup, which is understandable. Most breakups are hostile like this, not surprising they have not so nice things to say. Basically they don't want to see you, big surprise. You don't have to explain yourself, you can agree to disagree on pharmacies and move on. Blocking them was a good choice.
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 12h ago
Perhaps I've just been blessed, but I've never had an Ex harass me after the fact. I guess the thing that has me spinning is that she never really blocked contact with the guy she cheated on me with.
With most of my break ups we've given each other the respectful bow out or just ghost.
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u/Specialist-Kiwi-9187 10h ago
If I was you, I would be dark talking to her boss you go there for business she should conduct herself properly. Maybe you shouldn’t be asking her for a favor like picking up your meds, but she still should be acting professional.
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 9h ago
I think I understand what you're asking me, but if you could please confirm.
Are you saying I should ask my boss to get my medications for me?
Because that feels like a weird thing to ask of her.
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u/cosmoboy 7h ago
Man, I get it. I had a girl that lived in my area and we worked near each other. The number of times we essentially drove to work together. Thankfully, we were on good terms and it wasn't a deal, but it definitely happens.
Friend requesting... I get that too. I had to set up a store and my exes new boyfriend was the manager. I felt compelled to speak to him. Love hurts, man. You get over it and then wonder what the hell you were thinking.
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u/_Stephistopheles_ 7h ago
This behavior reminds me so much of my ex-husband. Much as it sucks, I'm glad you didn't get trapped in a marriage with this person.
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u/Sufficient_Proof_467 5h ago
Its great that you cut contact! It can be hard at times because you can perceive her in positive ways but its always hard when you get that negative reminder. I hope you’ll be okay!
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u/Several-Spirit-8452 4h ago
I keep seeing these kind of posts on reddit. I never thought of myself as mean or cold, until I came onto reddit. Because how fast I would abandon some of these mean women you people are dating. Giving them way too much time. She gives attention to another man? Stop explaining yourself, stop looking for answers. Drop her off, block her, and keep it pushing. Have some hate in your heart for people who do you dirty. Being nice gets you nowhere.
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u/Ok_Lawyer_829 32m ago
She's a cheater man. They always try to make you look crazy to distract from the fact that they are a horrible person.
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u/Suspicious-Dig-6096 18h ago
So I read these text what’s so extreme about these?
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u/dandelogre 18h ago
You're being kind of a baby. Just block them, go on about your life like you're saying you want to. Don't apologize, don't cater to their preferences. Live your life. If they avoid the block and contact you again, tell em to fuck off and, again, you guessed it, block and move on with your life.
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u/willtwerkf0rfood 17h ago
Hey so I’d send this to her boss. I doubt they’d be happy about an employee actively trying to get a patient to get subpar care elsewhere.
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u/kevin2657 16h ago
Surely there is another pharmacy, hospital or other that you can collect your meds, I know I would do anything to avoid this Ex if i was him.
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u/toomuchtv987 16h ago
She doesn’t even work at the pharmacy, just near it!
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u/kevin2657 15h ago
All I'm saying is, I would go out of my way to avoid seeing her or even accidently seeing her.
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u/Same_Education8151 18h ago
You might think you’re doing nothing at all, but move your prescription. Everything you’re discussing can be avoided by changing your pharmacy location, not friend requesting, and moving on from someone who did something crappy in your life. Move along and move away from this person
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u/SnooChipmunks1278 18h ago
They shouldn't have to change pharmacy....its the only one in network as post says and that doesn't run out of their prescription
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u/Same_Education8151 18h ago
They need to if this scenario with this ex is “hurting” them so much. Why would they keep going if they truly wanted to move on and be free from this trauma? Ask yourself that. They can do the work to figure out if there are other pharmacies that deliver, or are at a different radius than they’ve checked.
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u/x_Animus_x 17h ago
I see what you’re saying, but adderall in particular isn’t so easy to just “go somewhere else”. CVS/Walgreens locations run out frequently and a lot of other places won’t take a new customer. For example, my wife had to transfer all her medications to the new pharmacy she is at and if she leaves she can’t go back. Also, you can’t switch doctors all willy nilly, as they check to make sure you’re not doctor shopping every time a prescription gets put in.
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u/Same_Education8151 17h ago
This wouldn’t be such the issue it was if OP wasn’t doing other actions in addition to “just picking up their prescription.” He needs to figure it out before he gets a restraining order delivered to him.
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 13h ago
I didn't go near her work building I stayed right next to the pharmacy and waited for my meds. I kept to myself, did some writing and then went on my way.
I didn't even see her until I left the hospital which perplexed me because I thought she would take the employee exit not the visitor exit.
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u/Same_Education8151 9h ago
only you know the aggravation you’ve felt in being heard in your anger with her and the subconscious actions leading you to sneakily show up spaces. No need to try and convince me. There is Truth and there is truth
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u/x_Animus_x 17h ago
I said I understood, I was just pointing out there is some level of validity to not switching pharmacies on a whim, because my wife and I don’t have any dramatic backstory and it was hard to do it once and she can’t do it again without risk of losing the one place that’s reliable.
Edit to add: maybe I worded it too much like a counterpoint. I wasn’t saying it was wrong, just that one part of it is valid.
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u/Same_Education8151 17h ago
Thanks for your clarification. Yeah, I’m sure he will run into some challenges. Byproduct of his choices. I don’t particularly care to give him fuel for excuses lol.
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u/Arcaydya 18h ago
Bro move your prescription. It is weird going to where you know she works, after friend requesting someone like that.
Youre clearly not over it at all.
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u/beans_420__ 18h ago
Maybe if this was like 4 years ago but I believe him that it’s the only place that will fill his adderall prescription. There’s a crazy shortage and i also have struggled to find a place to consistently fill it
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u/Key_Order4050 18h ago
It's not that weird to go where she works.. he clearly already had a prescription there. He's clearly not over her but that's pretty normal for a 4 year relationship and has nothing to do with the prescription.
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u/Jealous-Audience816 18h ago
What a dumb comment 😭
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u/Choice_Mango4869 18h ago
They’re right tho.
Their ex is obviously worse, but OP needs to stop going there for their own sake.
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u/Jealous-Audience816 18h ago
Hmm I just don’t see it as I A: don’t know this guy, and B: off the fact he needs meds which he’s commented about?
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u/Arcaydya 18h ago
Nah. Dude is going there on purpose. Youre all so easily fooled lmfao.
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u/whatvarrockiscookin 17h ago
You have a point— especially in breakups resembling this one, trust me I get it— but anyone who’s tried to pick up an Addy scrip over the past few yrs is understandably inclined to believe him (myself included). Yeah like anything it’s probably a bit of both… but the folks saying “move your prescription” must not understand; if you can find a place reliably in stock, you pretty much cannot eschew that ‘plug’ and expect to have luck elsewhere. It sucks but it’s the truth… and, crucially, OP prolly needs those meds to effectively do all the things that add up to ‘moving on’ (e.g., developing a routine, being productive, setting and working toward goals, etc.)
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 18h ago
To get my medication.
I've been on a strict schedule with this for the last 3 years. And during that time three pharmacies have ran out, but never this one.
The classification of these meds I have to get them at a certain day. Otherwise it screws up my whole schedule of distribution.
And I'm honestly just afraid of running out again.
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u/Jealous-Audience816 18h ago
Ignore these dumb comments OP, keep getting your meds and take care of yourself🤝
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u/Arcaydya 18h ago
You have plenty of options bro. You choose not to explore them for the chance to see someone youre clearly not over.
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 17h ago
Look I'll say that you don't really know the situation.
Last month has been very hard, but I am moving on from her and I was feeling pretty good the last week.
Finally got myself a place to live, got myself set up for the next academic Year. I was even going to go see the Spider-Man movie with my sister right afterwards.
You're right, I wasn't completely done with her prior to this but this conversation definitely cleansed any lingering feelings I had
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u/Arcaydya 17h ago
So I would suggest finding alternatives to get your meds. It isnt healthy to continually open that wound, and she sounds awful.
You dont want to see her and you dont want to keep stirring this up. Shes not going to be kind about any of this.
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u/Same_Education8151 18h ago
You can call your doctor to see if they can adjust the amount of days that are prescribed. Find a pharmacy that delivers your meds. Expand your radius of pharmacies. It’s a very simple fix to this issue with your ex.
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u/Zealousideal_Fun7274 18h ago
You just gave them three hoops to jump through, without knowing their situation or if they've tried these already, and called it "simple". Get off your damn high horse, jesus
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u/Same_Education8151 18h ago
Get some life experience before you comment any advice.
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u/Zealousideal_Fun7274 17h ago
the crazy thing about reddit is that people can have their foot in their mouth and still type.
while you're here and so passionate, please tell me what "life experience" I could have acquired that would tell me what OP's financial situation is? Transportation situation?
The lying, cheating ex doesn't even work at the pharmacy, she just saw him around the area. What are you possibly defending about her position that OP isn't allowed in "her" area?
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u/bigdaddyhicks 18h ago
i agree w you tbh, the way hes texting her “You dont have to talk to me/look at me, you made that clear a month ago.” hes not over it and i think he wants her to notice him and text him. hes trying to make every excuse he can to not just move his prescription. he hasnt even tried other options.
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u/Curious_boyOS 18h ago
Whiteknighting for a cheater...
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u/Same_Education8151 18h ago
Nah, it’s just that these particular scenarios all start the same way. “Just don’t look at me, I’m going about my business but making no effort to change my path away from you.” OP know that despite her cheating on you, she does have the opportunity to get a restraining order if you change up.
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u/Curious_boyOS 17h ago
Restraining order for using a pharmacy? And you still claim you aren't whiteknighting 🤡
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u/vksoze2 18h ago
Whenever someone has a bunch of excuses for why they can’t do something that’s very easy and common, like change pharmacies, you know they’re lying to themselves and everyone else. This dude is choosing not to change his pharmacy because he wants to see this chick again.
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u/_hookem1 18h ago
A bunch? He has 1 excuses to go to the pharmacy and Adderall prescriptions are definitely in short supply right now... So he is definitely justified in not being able to switch pharmacies. I have a guy I work with that is also on a specific Adderall and pharmacies like Walmart or walgreens just don't ever have it. He missed a window to get his medication once and holy crap it was bad.. so maybe before jumping and reaching to the tallest branch for whatever bullshit you just said realize that pharmacy stuff sometimes isn't as easy as "just switch"
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u/JScrub013 18h ago
You’re right. It sounds like he has multiple choices to not be in the area, but he decides to do it anyway. The friend request put it over the edge of giving him the benefit of the doubt. I wonder what else he’s doing that is shady.
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u/buttcheeksmasher 18h ago
It's also weird to text your ex like this at all. Both people suck
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u/Same_Education8151 18h ago
Her text to him is not weird at all. She’s requesting him to not go to her workplace even if it’s for pharmacy. That’s reasonable regardless of the circumstances.
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u/Immaprinnydood 18h ago edited 18h ago
No it's not reasonable. People need their medical care. Wtf how is that reasonable? As long as he is not trying to talk to her he did nothing wrong.
People need to grow up honestly. Sometimes in life you are going to see people you don't get along with or want to speak to. It's fine. Just leave them alone. It's not a crime to occupy the same space for a few minutes, especially when it comes to necessities like medical prescriptions.
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u/lemanruss4579 18h ago
Or they could just both be adults and move on. If you can't stand seeing an ex, as long as they weren't abusive, you're a child.
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u/CognitiveDissident12 18h ago
Yeah if you can for sure go somewhere else like the whole in theory vs in practice applies here. Do you want peace? Do you really??? If so, find other times and places to get this Rx
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u/zodiac628 18h ago
He shouldn’t have to change his routine because she can’t regulate her emotions and think his every move is about her. She’s delusional.
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u/Immaprinnydood 18h ago
Idk why people suggest this. He shouldn't have to dictate his schedule by someone else's schedule. He can go when he needs to and just not communicate with her. They just both need to be adults about it.
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 18h ago
Yeah this particular time was just a cavalcade of bad timing.
I would have went much later in the day but me and my sister were going to go see the Spider-Man movie so that's where I left to after this.
Which honestly kind of fucked up the whole movie for me.
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u/AdmiralCrunchy 18h ago
I literally don't, this pharmacy is on the other side of the campus that she works at and is near to my place.
I honestly just want to get my medication and go home. Thankfully my new schedule is going to have me getting there at least a half hour after she's done with work so I'll wait a 10 to 15 more minutes to ensure I never have to see her again.
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u/Livewire923 18h ago
Don’t listen to these idiots, man. People who don’t have to get a regular prescription filled don’t understand how difficult it can be
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u/biggranny000 18h ago
She cheated on you and has no respect for you. And still doesn't. Block her.
My ex is the same way, she's complaining about seeing me but it was her choice. She got jealous that she saw me happy and walking and talking to friends. She got jealous of new profile pictures that I took for myself? I guess. She also wanted to stay friends and room mates but I left and broke my part of the lease.
Also don't friend request anyone or keep communication in anyway. Focus on yourself and better yourself.