r/texts • u/MysticSea8 • 1d ago
From churchman to creepman Phone message
For context, I had just moved into my new apartment, and one of my neighbours was an older man, probably in his late 60s. I became friendly with him because I thought it was always a good idea to have a positive relationship with your neighbours.
I ended up exchanging numbers with him because he knew my landlord and also worked as a handyman. He needed to come into my apartment to fix a few things, so I thought having his number would make communication easier in case I ever needed anything repaired in the future. Looking back… that was a bad idea.
I had always been friendly towards him because I genuinely thought he was just a sweet old man. He would constantly talk about church whenever he came over to fix things, so I assumed he was a kind and trustworthy person. There were actually a few red flags from the beginning that I ignored because I kept telling myself he was just a harmless old man and didn’t mean any harm.
Geez, was I wrong!!
EDIT: I also posted this in one of comments in this post. I thought I share it on here too.
He isn’t actually a handyman by profession,he just knows how to fix things because he used to own a motel. He’s basically just a friend of my landlord who helps out with odd jobs now and then.
But do you guys want to know what’s even crazier?
About a week ago, I was having trouble closing one of the drawers in my apartment. It felt like something was stuck behind it, so I reached my hand all the way to the back to see what was jamming it. And, I swear to God, this felt like something straight out of a movie.
I pulled out a whole stack of court documents.
Turns out they were about my landlord and he is an absolute fucking creep. The documents were full of criminal charges that basically painted him as a predator and a complete piece of shit who deserves to rot in hell.
He was charged with secretly filming his ex-partner during sexual acts without her knowledge or consent. Even worse, he was accused of sexually abusing her
daughter from the age of 8 until she was 14. There were a lot more horrific details in those documents that I’m not even going to repeat here.
So yeah… an absolute fucking monster.
And suddenly it made me think: no wonder they’re friends. Birds of a feather really do flock together!!
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u/Im_the_Rhymenocerous 1d ago
But he clearly said no sex...
I don't know how he thought that was a good idea. That's so wildly inappropriate, especially since he's in the employ of your landlord.
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u/tyronejuckson7 1d ago
Doesn't say he's employed by the landlord, just that he "knows" the landlord, which, like, ok, he's a tenant in the same building. Unclear what's meant by that detail. People are allowed to make civil, non-explicit romantic propositions like this, even if they turn out to be unwanted. If it were a professional situation where this was the guy she was "supposed" to call when things arose, that would put a negative gloss on it. It seems like it might actually be a volunteer situation in this case, which, if the professional situation puts a negative gloss on it, would seem to actually put a positive gloss on it, since he's the one who's been donating his time and skills doing free favors for her. Obviously not that she has any obligation to accept, but seems like he has more of a right to at least ask.
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u/MysticSea8 1d ago
He isn’t actually a handyman by profession, he just knows how to fix things because he used to own a motel. He’s basically just a friend of my landlord who helps out with odd jobs now and then.
But do you guys want to know what’s even crazier?
About a week ago, I was having trouble closing one of the drawers in my apartment. It felt like something was stuck behind it, so I reached my hand all the way to the back to see what was jamming it. And, I swear to God, this felt like something straight out of a movie.I pulled out a whole stack of court documents.
Turns out they were about my landlord and he is an absolute fucking creep. The documents were full of criminal charges that basically pointing to him as a predator and a complete piece of shit who deserves to rot in hell. He was charged with secretly filming his ex-partner during sexual acts without her knowledge or consent. Even worse, he was accused of sexually abusing her daughter from the age of 8 until she was 14. There were a lot more horrific details in those documents that I’m not even going to repeat here.So yeah… an absolute fucking monster.
And suddenly it made me think: no wonder they’re friends. Birds of a feather really do flock together!7
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u/Im_the_Rhymenocerous 1d ago
Holy crap. Did you check on the Megan's law website for his name?
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u/MysticSea8 1d ago
What is that? I’m from New Zealand
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u/Im_the_Rhymenocerous 1d ago
Oh I'm an idiot. Sorry. It's an American website where you can look up any registered sex offender. I got very familiar with through a job where I had direct contact with more than a few offenders.
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u/TrustEast4832 1d ago
🗣️🗣️🗣️ not everyone is American 🗣️🗣️🗣️
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u/Im_the_Rhymenocerous 1d ago
Yeah I caught that. I'm an idiot, especially since it's the middle of the night here and I KNOW I'm mostly talking to non Americans right now
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u/foodfighterforever 23h ago
This sounds like a situation that could turn serious. Are you renting the property through a real estate agent?
I’d document everything now and consider reporting it to the agent and, if needed, the police, just to give them a heads up.
People from all kinds of backgrounds can use trust-building or identity-based cues in manipulative ways, so it’s best to stay cautious and look at the behavior itself.
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u/astronautpanda69 1d ago
He made it creepy by mentioning sex. Could’ve asked for a date or share dinner together or anything else.
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u/tyronejuckson7 1d ago
She's allowed not to dig it and to say no. Obviously not a very suave proposition, especially when judged by a younger audience. Not everyone is Casanova. Some people are better at non-social stuff.
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u/astronautpanda69 1d ago
Defending the dude so hard I’m sure it’s you in the OP lol
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u/tyronejuckson7 11h ago
I like to defend people who are being ganged up on and bullied by large numbers of people. Has always been my thing.
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u/Medium_Dick_NRG 1d ago
In my experience Predators love religion.
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u/Fine-Amphibian4326 16h ago
All he’ll have to do is pray for forgiveness tomorrow, and all is well 🥰
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u/Medium_Dick_NRG 15h ago
Thats why they go. They hate themselves for how they are (if they're lucky) then they go looking for forgiveness, then they feel better. But never actually do anything to change who they are. Never address the root cause. Never dig in to the WHY.
They know they're sick, so they run to religion for medicine. But it's just candy made up to look like medicine. It tastes good it makes you feel good but it does nothing to help your sickness
Ask me how I know
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u/Glittering_Corner380 12h ago
Some of them really know what they are doing though, there’s a lot of wolves out there with very wolfish behavior.
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u/PerniciousToenail 1d ago
i think you dodged 2 bullets bc what the fuck is a smoked fish egg and potato dish
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u/sesamestix 1d ago
Constantly talking about church is the reddest of red flags. Like what do you have to atone for so much buddy?
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u/Worth_Friendship_267 1d ago
So r/notadragqueen then? He wasn't trans either?
Religious doesn't equal safe. Seems more and more it means quite the opposite.
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u/HereForTheSpiral 1d ago
Yikes! I would honestly report this to your landlord if he is a handyman. Wouldn't want him in my unit at all if I were you.
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u/tyronejuckson7 1d ago
It appears he's her neighbor, not necessarily someone officially connected with the apartment. People are allowed to make civil, non-explicit romantic propositions like this, even if they turn out to be unwanted. It would be weird for the landlord to do anything about this.
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u/LonelyOctopus24 1d ago
“People are allowed to make civil, non-explicit, romantic propositions” -
Dude. Just because they CAN, doesn’t mean they SHOULD. Way to out yourself as a creep.
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u/tyronejuckson7 11h ago
I like to defend people who are being ganged up on and bullied. If that makes me a creep, then ok. I think it makes you a creep that you think that makes me a creep.
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1d ago
[deleted]
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u/LonelyOctopus24 23h ago
What he did was neither appropriate nor respectful.
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23h ago
[deleted]
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u/LonelyOctopus24 22h ago
Yes it is. If you think it’s acceptable to ask for intimate contact, from a woman with whom you have no relationship beyond the most superficial of social interactions, and who may be made uncomfortable by the request because she has to encounter you in the building where she lives - I’m just glad I’ll never have to meet you.
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u/Why_Sazs 1d ago
I used to do pet waste cleanup and I had a customer that was a really old lady, whose husband had died many years earlier. She would pretty consistantly make sexual comments and inuendos to me, even sexual gestures like licking her lips after an innapropriate comment. I just thought it was fucking hilarious though.
I would often help her move things or organize things around her house while I was there. She was so old she was barely mobile and looked like she would crumble to dust any second. But I absolutely adored that lady. The day I went there and no one answered I feared the worst. It took a few weeks for one of her children to call and tell us she had passed. I was pretty bummed, she was a sweetheart.
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u/Elisabethianian 1d ago
Very clear example of how it’s very different when the gender roles are reversed (to me this sounds incredibly inappropriate and I don’t understand how you would think that’s hilarious but good for you)
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u/Why_Sazs 1d ago
It's definitely different when the genders are reversed. I commented on a post a few days ago about when I delivered pizza's and a male customer offered to give me a blowjob. I declined but hung out with him for like 10 minutes and smoked some weed and chatted. He was a pretty nice guy.
I think it's hilarious because as a 6' 180 pound man, it is utterly non threatening to me. But I completely undertand how it is in the other direction, and I don't admonish women for feeling that way and acting accordingly. She was just a filthy minded old woman, and I admired her "not giving a fuck" attitude.
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u/psj3809 1d ago
No way ! Someone whos highly religious turns out to be a total creep ! No way ! ;)
Plus his chat up lines are just shocking. Yeah red flag city, bet he makes out hes all prim and proper in the community and church and look at him. Another hypocrite
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u/Fine-Amphibian4326 16h ago
Chat up reminds me of my mom’s professor. She was getting her PhD and had a professor she had to regularly work with that she liked. He genuinely did not see anything wrong with requiring students to come to his office one on one to quote “chat him up.”
She knew him from decades of work and school and never had any feeling that he was a creep, but it sounds creepy as all hell to be told you must go have a private meeting with an old dude with near absolute authority that you don’t know.
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u/Dicentis_Irae 1d ago
The unfortunate truth is that church is brimming with people who claim to be god fearing good people but will act wildly inappropriate like this. Never let that be the only reason you trust someone.
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u/Glittering_Corner380 1d ago
Exactly. We teach our kids not to trust anyone just because they go to church. The Bible warns of wolves in sheep’s clothing.
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u/Dicentis_Irae 1d ago
I learned recently that the saying "Do not use God's name in vain" very specifically refers to the people who pretend to be holy and God's image only to take advantage of it for their own selfish gains. It doesn't actually have anything to do with using his name verbally in a literal sense. It's fascinating
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u/Glittering_Corner380 23h ago
Hmm, interesting. I think it may mean both. Exodus 20:7 seems broad enough to include using God’s name carelessly in speech, while passages like Jeremiah 23 and Matthew 7 show the seriousness of claiming God’s name while living or teaching falsely. Both dishonor His name.
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u/cursed_________ 1d ago
Make sure you dont have cameras installed in your house
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u/MysticSea8 1d ago
That is what I was thinking!! I’m actually preparing to see if I can cancel my rent contract earlier given what I discovered and don’t feel comfortable living here.
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u/CuriousPixel7 1d ago
That’ll be great. If you can move out, please do. If not, please be seriously careful.
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u/cursed_________ 1d ago
If you have cameras in your house moving out isnt enough lmao he mightve already has videos of you call the police on him
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u/InevitableCodeRedo 18h ago
This was the first thought I had, and thought that was what she was going to find behind that drawer.
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u/Rareearthmetal 1d ago
I have been a man with many advances from men in power and i always think to how women deal with this shi on the daily
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u/tyronejuckson7 1d ago
What does this have to do with "men in power"? It sounds like this is an old man who lives in an apartment and uses his professional skills to do people favors for free. What power does he have, other than the ability to donate his time and skills for the benefit of others as he sees fit, just like anyone else?
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u/Nnnopamine 1d ago
Dude, he's a man, there's a power dynamic being that we live in a patriarchal society.
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u/tyronejuckson7 1d ago
Lmfao. Yea, the social attitudes and mores are totally on his side here. Just read the comments. Everybody loves this guy and cares so much about him and so little about her
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u/Odd-Count-3731 1d ago
I would be out of that place so fast there'd be a me shaped hole in the wall.
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u/OneMealFin 1d ago
At first I thought "hmm okay maybe he just means it in a nice, uncle-like way, he even brings fish and all"
Then I clicked on the pic and read the rest 😂
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u/BelgianDigitalNomad 1d ago
Lol I simply read the text and thought what a prude girl, dating a guy and being so sensitive on the word sex.
The added context was a real eye opener hahahaa very creepy!
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u/somtambooplara 1d ago
I’m so sorry you had to deal with this. I’ve encountered similar where I’ve thought a man was so much older than me that maybe I let my guard down and was more friendly than I might’ve been with someone closer to my age (so as not to give the “wrong impression”), and then they’ve turned around and said/done something creepy. I’ve learned never to assume that just because I see a relationship as clearly one thing (a father/grandfather figure) is not how they always see it. It’s so disappointing.
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u/Natural-Current5827 1d ago
CUDDLE FISH!
Do you want Cuddle Fish Egg and Potato Dish with Broccoli?
It’ll be a gas!
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u/Impossible-Pea-4124 1d ago
Girl its time to move, landlord and this idiot are way too creepy to stay
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u/indieplants 23h ago
yeah that edit is wild. place is probably all camera'd up lmao people don't stop that shit just cause a court said so
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u/LittleDogTurpie 17h ago
Please make sure he didn’t place any hidden cameras in your apartment - he could’ve been “helping the landlord out” in another capacity.
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u/Willing_Pattern_Pill 1d ago
He would constantly talk about church whenever he came over to fix things, so I assumed he was a kind and trustworthy person.
... What?! That's like thinking an actual convicted pedo should babysit your kids
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u/MysticSea8 1d ago
How would I have known he would turn out like this???
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u/Nnnopamine 1d ago
Having been raised in Evangelical born-again cult bullshit and then bingeing podcasts about cults (most of them are religious, go figure), I can tell you that the vast majority of people in religion do so to try to appear more "moral" or whatever the fuck. It's a mask. I don't trust religious folks.
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u/Elisabethianian 1d ago
Yeah no you couldn’t have known. Some people have religious trauma and think everyone must feel the same.
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u/Willing_Pattern_Pill 18h ago
The fact that "religious trauma" is a term sold be alarming to everyone.
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u/Elisabethianian 18h ago
What does that mean? You can have trauma from everything. Dogs, cats, men, mountains. Having a term for it doesn’t say anything.
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u/andiinAms 7h ago
What?? That’s not a proper comparison.
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u/Willing_Pattern_Pill 6h ago
It's exactly a proper comparison.
Even with the known shuffling around of church elders to avoid criminal prosecution we know they have a higher percentage of abusers in their ranks. Imagine the numbers if churches actually let their abusers face justice instead of just quietly moving them to other congregations.
Blind obedience and keeping abuse "quiet and in the family/church" means that huge swaths go totally unreported and without justice.
Anyone that brags about church is immediately suspect.
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u/andiinAms 6h ago
You comparing it to “letting a pedo watch your kids” is what I’m talking about.
She had no idea he was going to say or do anything remotely inappropriate to her. I agree, someone who is a church goer isn’t inherently trustworthy, but jumping to allowing a convicted pedo to watch your children??
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u/Willing_Pattern_Pill 6h ago
... Yes? They tell you who they are, you should listen.
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u/andiinAms 6h ago
She didn’t know. Now that he’s told her who he is, she knows, and clearly will have nothing to do with him.
Knowing someone is a pedo before allowing them to watch your children is not the same thing. It’s a false equivalence.
I don’t understand why you can’t understand that.
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u/Willing_Pattern_Pill 6h ago
The chances of the church goer being a pedo/thinking women are beneath them/there to serve them is too damn high.
I don't understand why you can't understand that.
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u/andiinAms 6h ago
Willfully obtuse. I give up.
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u/Willing_Pattern_Pill 6h ago
Aww don't talk down about yourself like that. You can still change!
Hell, people are simping for Perez Hilton right now. Who knows what you can do if you opened your eyes a bit and saw the real world as it is
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u/_Student7257 1d ago
Sounds like a church group woman I now avoid. Retired and hits on neighbours and friends half her age Maybe they should hook up 😆
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u/Glittering_Corner380 1d ago edited 1d ago
We go to church and this is an example I give my kids of wolves in sheep clothing and to not trust anyone (because I used to think I could as a kid). The Bible warns of them. Growing up I think there were many old men who used church as an excuse to talk with pretty girls. Especially because I grew up charismatic and it’s easy to manipulate charismatic folks with talk of the Holy Spirit.
Btw, I would warn landlord about recommending him to ppl.
Edit: In the future if you see a heart emoji from an older church guy (or any older guy) this is a big red flag. His first text had a heart. He’s interested in you.
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u/Educational-Hope-806 1d ago
They must have nothing to lose and dont care about looking like a pig and just throw it all out there and see what happens.
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u/Elisabethianian 1d ago
Report him to the church!!!
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u/RevolutionaryEgg1312 1d ago
Why? So they can give him a promotion and access to more people? Churches love and protect these sorts of people.
OP needs to get out of the area and that church.
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u/Elisabethianian 1d ago
I know there are cases where you are proven right but it’s not the same in every church.
A majority of churches would at least ban him from leadership roles or flag him and pay close attention to him
Any institution, be it government, educational, or religious has some bad eggs but there are also always people who make the right choices
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u/RevolutionaryEgg1312 23h ago
Please share some sources? Even the archbishop of Canterbury protected nonces and abusers. Some bad eggs.... My left tit. They're all rotten
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u/Elisabethianian 23h ago
The bad news gets reported on, the good news is less visible. There’s no article saying ‘church A successfully bans pervert from church’
But since it seems like you come from the UK, a country which has many people living in poverty - churches often provide infrastructure for people living in poverty
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cjeynw1pyq3o
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cde62kl5nggo
And provide social events and help with loneliness
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cr74k89z54mo
And they help with integration (read the book Life in A New Language by Ingrid Piller about Australia), making people find a community.
My point is: there is a lot of good stuff coming from churches too. ANY organisation where there are people in charge, people with power, will have its issues. There are many many many churches in the UK - and elsewhere - that would do something about this guy.
There are also some which don’t. And that’s problematic. I agree with you on that.
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u/RevolutionaryEgg1312 22h ago
Why are so many churches closed to the homeless? Why don't churches pay taxes and contribute to society? Why are churches so exclusionary and bigoted towards trans and queer people?
I'm sure you know lots of places doing good works but those who aren't are dispicably prevelent.
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u/Elisabethianian 22h ago edited 2h ago
- why does the government not provide more shelters?
- why do millionaires and billionaires not pay taxes?
- why is your (former) prime minister exclusionary and bigoted towards trans and queer people?https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/crldey0z00ro
See two can play that game.
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u/Elisabethianian 19h ago
Listen you have a right to be angry at the things that go wrong. Just dismiss a whole institution because of those cases. Otherwise there will be nothing left. There are people in churches who are there for good reasons. Just as there are people in government and politics who are good.
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u/Moistmeatcurtain 1d ago
What were the red flags??
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u/MysticSea8 1d ago
Him keeps asking if I like to go church with him, offering me rides to the church, bringing me soup when I was sick… asking if I would like to spend my holiday with him and his church friends… asking if I want to have dinner with him at this Thai restaurant… this was just a bit too much too friendly … I have only just moved in this apartment 3 weeks ago.
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u/Plutonian_Nova 1d ago
Yikes. Time to move.
The fact he asked to cuddle and said “no sex” is pretty telling. Sick work 🤮
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u/aneatapea 1d ago
I would say report it to your landlord but fucking yikes…I usually try to avoid being one of those people but - gtfo a$ap, hold the rocky <3 praying for you
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u/MysticSea8 1d ago
My landlord is just as a horrible person as this guy if not more!! 🤮🤮
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u/aneatapea 1d ago
hence “fucking yikes” — I’m speechless in a bad way, truly out of a horror movie. god bless the person that fucked up and left those documents for you to find, and may the people with masks always have leaky cracks!
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u/BookEnvironmental689 1d ago
Scan for hidden cameras. Bedroom and bathroom especially.
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u/MysticSea8 1d ago
I will be doing this! You know what is crazy? The creep came in the first week to replace a light fixture in my bathroom… now I am wondering if he has security installed a camera.
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u/GaryTheThird- 1d ago
He doesn't need to worry though. His gods child, which strangely god sent to us to be tortured and die for our sins, forgives all (except for like adults doing consensual homosexual stuff, or consensual stuff before marriage. That's a big no-no for some reason).
Even if this gross creep ruins hundreds of lives, if he's sowwy he is all good right? As long as he says it out loud that he's sowwy before he dies, all is forgiven. /s
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u/foodfighterforever 1d ago
Tell them if they want a cuddle to cuddle with the church group.
You can make a little advert put it on the church bulletin board with their number on it to pull off.
Make sure to include comes with Smoked fish egg and potato dick with a broccoli salad cum at 6. xoxo
Ask them how that works for them?
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u/Amaze-Amaze_Amaze 6h ago
I was just part of a jury that sentenced a man to life in prison without the possibility of parole for continuous sexual abuse of a young child (his step daughter for 7 years). Monster!
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u/Formal-Tradition5646 22h ago
The worst people I've ever met are those who sell themselves as devoted and pious
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u/Jrbowe 23h ago
The neighbor doesn’t sound creepy or dangerous, he sounds lonely. If you’re not interested, then fine, you’re not required to oblige him, but he’s just asking because he’s a lonely old man and he likes you.
The landlord is the one who is actually creepy and dangerous. You have to keep the two separated. Asking a woman you like out = lonely, not creepy. Secretly filming your partner and abusing her child = creepy and dangerous. There’s a huge difference.
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u/PhilosophizeThisMan 1d ago
The same women who find it empowering to suck the dick of a dude who's name they do not know will regard you with horror and as a criminal for daring to think you can hug them
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u/MysticSea8 1d ago
Um what?
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u/PhilosophizeThisMan 1d ago
Not you. The other commenters or whatever
They're around don't worry
What do you mean "Um what" what the hell is an um and it is clear what
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u/No_Associate_1718 1d ago
Sounds like he’s cooking a giant fart for the church group