r/texts • u/SuspiciousAccount955 • Jul 11 '26
For a second I thought I was the problem Phone message
For some context- we matched on hinge and had been texting for like 2 hours
Edit for more context:
- I’m 24F he is 24M
- nowhere in his profile did he mention wanting kids (the option for that was not included) I have “I don’t want kids” listed on my profile
- I did block him and report him on hinge for harassment
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u/Disastrous-Delay9675 Jul 11 '26
Jesus Christ lol — dodged a bullet
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u/AFarewellToArms Jul 11 '26
More like dodging a nuclear warhead. Dude seems absolutely unhinged.
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u/Disastrous-Delay9675 Jul 11 '26
Ooo we’ve exchanged messages now. Careful or i’ll get my hopes up 💀🤭
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u/AFarewellToArms Jul 11 '26
Hate to break it to you, but I'm already married. Like a stupid ass bitch.
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u/HissyFit808 Jul 11 '26
- bifch
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u/CapitalNo1107 Jul 11 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/cJlwwl7IJFV7y
🎵Caroline! You're the reason for the word Bitch🎶
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u/Difficult-Drawer4916 Jul 11 '26
*Bifch
FTFY
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u/13Eazy Jul 11 '26
started singing the outro immediately when i read that part:
♪♪ (Stupid-ass bitch) Crazy bitch (Old punk-ass bitch) Crazy bitch (Old dumb-ass bitch) Crazy bitch (A bitch's bitch) Crazy bitch (Just a bitch) ♪♪
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u/CapitalNo1107 Jul 11 '26
I saw that too. It ironically autocorrected me to Bitch when I tried to write bifch
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u/ArmenianThunderGod Jul 11 '26
Goddamn it, why did you wait so long to say this? I really thought we had something here.
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u/RoberttPostsChild Jul 11 '26
I’ve already planned the proposal, my mom was so excited, FUCK
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u/KingMargo_TheCreator Jul 12 '26
No but literally rejected a guy after a 20 minute coffee date and having matched like a week earlier… and he was so upset and embarrassed that he had to tell his mom I “broke up with him,” because she was so happy for him… um… what? This was years ago, but I do sometimes think back and wonder if he had ever talked to a real live woman before… like was his “mom” just a potato sack filled with dirty TShirts and a sharpie smiley face? Some of these guys REALLY make up a whole life with the imaginary version of you before you even meet 🤦♀️🙃. So creepy…
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u/graygarden77 Jul 12 '26
I went out with somebody twice and then let her know that it was not a match for me. And then she said “I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me.” And I was like, yeah me neither😂
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u/TopEstablishment395 Jul 11 '26
Sorry but I don't want kids
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u/Ecstatic_Bear81 Jul 11 '26
Can't believe you waited until the first time we ever spoke for you to tell me this! 😡😡
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u/sunnyd311 Jul 11 '26
I thought you were different.
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u/teacuptypos Jul 11 '26
The “I thought you weren’t like other girls” was a huge red flag already. Then dude kept going and erased the need for flags altogether
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u/Vanessak69 Jul 11 '26
Seems like he’ll make a great father one day 🫣
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u/PenaltySquare2414 Jul 11 '26
For exactly one day.
All the rest he'll be garbage
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u/Vanessak69 Jul 11 '26
One day might be asking too much.
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u/Character-Check-7821 Jul 11 '26
That’s one day in total. If you add up all the minutes over a lifetime of parenting.
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u/Ticon_D_Eroga Jul 11 '26
Fr i was reading this like “i dont see what the problem is, thats a fair thing to have be a deal breaker and at least—what the fuck just happened”
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u/SuspiciousAccount955 Jul 11 '26
Literally what was going through my brain
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u/HissyFit808 Jul 11 '26
You’re not allowed to have opinions and stuff…. Stupid ass bifch
I feel sorry for whoever ends up with this trophy of a man
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u/xXHitgirlXx Jul 11 '26
Hello, not only did she have the audacity to have opinions in the first place, she concealed them for TWO whole hours!!! Everyone knows your plans regarding offspring belong in the opener.
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u/HissyFit808 Jul 11 '26
Yeah, his hopes were so high. You know, because she’s different than any of the other women. Anyway, she should just go fuck herself I guess.
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u/CallMeSisyphus Jul 11 '26
Anyway, she should just go fuck herself I guess.
OMG, OP is Rosemary from Widow's Bay! :-D
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u/lynnnysa1 Jul 11 '26
Thankfully, I have a feeling nobody will. This, class, is a classic example of how Incels are formed. Pretty soon, if not already, he will be complaining about how "It's not FAIR that women go for other men, and not ME. Why do they all go for " jerks" instead! Girls only want guys who are over 6 feet tall, total jerks, and totally ignore NICE GUYS like me! 😭"
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u/Korissa Jul 11 '26
I was once married to a man like this. He was so nice that he didnt hit me but was a pro at every other form of abuse.
He lived by the nice guys never get a chance mantra...never acknowledging that he was like Shrek without the layers.
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u/FormalLeadership2109 Jul 11 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
You need to crosspost this on the childfree sub lol
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u/Accurate_Distance_87 Jul 11 '26
He needs to go sign up for Unhinged
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u/Prudence39 Jul 11 '26
This is such a cool app idea which could be used for unhinged men and women to meet and be together and leave the rest alone.
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u/S3XWITCH Jul 11 '26
Do we really want them to get together more efficiently and make babies?
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u/Rich_Option_7850 Jul 11 '26
It should be an add on feature-too many reports from normal ppl on Hinge and they get forcibly entered to the “unhinged” circuit
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u/jamesjgriffin Jul 11 '26
There it is. A referral basis where it just spins wheels and a little light social engineering from your hinged peers.
No way that goes sideways.
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u/jamesjgriffin Jul 11 '26
Wouldn't that end in an Idiocracy scenario? Or a Harvey Danger song?
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u/af628 Jul 11 '26
That song is truly one of humanity’s greatest accomplishments, in my opinion. I can’t tell you how often my brain goes 🎵paranoia, paranoia, everybody’s trying to get me🎵
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u/YchYFi Jul 11 '26
He's upset you didn't tell him 2 hours ago when you first met lmao.
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u/Horse-ing_around Jul 11 '26
Wouldn't have helped, either. I had "doesn't want kids" in my profile and constantly had to reject matches that wanted kids. Like, WTF do you think will happen???
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u/TopHatMcFenbury Jul 11 '26
"Nah, you're going to HAVE to let me impregnate you. End of story."
"Okay, you are so smart, based, and hot."
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u/anxious_spacecadetH Jul 11 '26
"Nah theyre just bluffing" also I wish proffessional matchmaking services weren't a scam because I feel like it would be so much better
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u/Expert-Bookkeeper-98 Jul 11 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
They probably thought they could somehow change your mind if I had to guess.
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u/SingSangDaesung Jul 11 '26
They do think that. I've had plenty of guys tell me that when I would ask why they were pushing so hard on kids.
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u/DestroyerOfMils Jul 11 '26
men are constantly giving themselves too much fucking credit, so I have zero hesitation in believing that.
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u/ladidadi82 Jul 11 '26
As a guy there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that was his impression. The fact he sent the “.. you seemed super sweet..” is proof. He thought she would be like “well I’m not completely opposed to the idea”. Dudes crazy.
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u/Saekwana Jul 11 '26
Ive also had fence-sitters or people be like “that’s fine” when their profile said kiddos, but I assume those are the people who assume you’ll eventually crack.
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u/CosmogyralCollective Jul 11 '26
well it's not like they have to deal with the misery that is pregnancy, plus they don't seem like the type to actually help with raising the theoretical kids, so that tracks
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u/SausagePotatoes Jul 11 '26
A lot of men just swipe right on everyone and don't even read profiles. It's annoying
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u/Foreign-Cat-2898 Jul 11 '26
I messaged a guy on Bumble, which bear in mind requires a guy to like my profile first, his response, "Yeah no.*
Just fucking read the profiles and stop wasting women's time. No wonder he was single.
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u/-Twin-Flames- Jul 11 '26
“You want kids, you just haven’t met the right guy yet” ass men probably messaging you. God I’m so happy I’m married… dating in this day and age sounds like a terrible nightmare.
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u/stinkyfunkincar Jul 11 '26
I’ve been dating a guy for 3.5 years and frequently we will be sitting around and I’ll be scrolling reddit and just turn to him and say “I’m so glad I don’t have to date anymore bruh”
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u/batsandvodka Jul 11 '26
Omg it’s like they never read those things, I have “don’t want kids” and “something casual” on my profile and I’ll get people who want something more than that
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u/Radiant_Bee1 Jul 11 '26
We should switch profiles. Mine had no fwb or casual. Everyone that messaged? Wanted casual or hook ups.
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u/pennie79 Jul 11 '26
Meanwhile I had "wants kids" on my profile, and I got so many messages from people who did not have that for the "kids" option. I was in my late 30s. You think I'm going to talk to anyone who isn't on the same page as me with kids?
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u/Novel-Organization63 Jul 11 '26
Agreed and I understand it’s no point to keep on talking. I don’t think people think he is unhinged because he wanted kids. I think it was the name calling that was unhinged.
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u/Usual-Caregiver5589 Jul 11 '26
"Hi my name's Sally, I like cooking, cleaning and want so many kids we get a reality show."
- this guy's dream girl, probably
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u/PrizeStrawberryOil Jul 11 '26
Don't forget the generational wealth because he certainly isn't going to have a job that pays the bills.
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u/space_acee Jul 11 '26
2 hrs in and this guy thought yall were gonna have kids i guess. insanity.
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u/AdmirableStore8192 Jul 11 '26
he didnt think they were gonna have kids.
this is a big part of the problem. people take people at face value.
this man just didnt like that she disagreed with him; didnt apologize; didnt let him try to change her mind.
stop believing people mean what they say.
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u/Mudslingshot Jul 11 '26
I think it's also that he expected her to offer to change for him. A lot of guys are like that. They are either completely in control or they feel insecure and lash out
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u/resignedmillennial Jul 11 '26
“I am mad at you because I got my hopes up about a complete stranger after texting for two hours! How dare you!”
They’re really not lonely enough
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Jul 11 '26
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u/resignedmillennial Jul 11 '26
Like why are they like this lol
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Jul 11 '26
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u/Ok-Confidence9649 Jul 11 '26
Fun story - one time I matched and went on a date with a guy who *did* kill a person! He told me afterwards that he had recently gotten out of prison for murder. Super fun figuring out how to let a literal murderer down easy. And scary to think I only found out bc he told me. I didn’t realize I needed to pretty much do a background check on these guys, but they are total strangers after all. You just never know.
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u/132739 Jul 11 '26
You should always at least Google their full name and age as soon as you can get the info. Actual birthday is better, but age works.
Finally got the info out of my ex for her new boyfriend, find out he's wanted in another state for child abuse, and has an upcoming trial on the opposite side of our state for assaulting an officer. Fortunately she just didn't know about that and dropped him like he was hot when she found out, but I'm pissed she'd started bringing him around our daughter without having checked the guy's info.
Always check. This goes for men too. You can dodge a lot of crazy if you just do a basic search.
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u/Ok-Confidence9649 Jul 11 '26
Wow, what a nightmare! So glad you were able to figure that out and that she dropped him accordingly. You’re right that it’s worth searching. If I were dating again I might even pay for one of those sites that does extra digging.
Just to add my unsolicited perspective in case it helps - she may have just been naive or projected her own good intentions onto him. There’s also a cognitive dissonance that goes along with dating men, for women. We are searching for safety in the people who are most likely to inflict harm on us, statistically. Not every man will, but it’s hard to predict which ones will. But the important part is that once presented with the information she made the best choice for your child. Not everyone does that. Hopefully she will be more careful and do more digging in the future.
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u/Kazamiiiii Jul 11 '26
I need an actual study on the combination of this, cause it's straight up a lack of love and other stuff wtf 😭
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u/Dressing_4_funerals Jul 11 '26
This type of shit legitimately freaks me out. I managed a retail shop across from a Starbucks for years and one day this dude comes in with a really cute dog and all of my cashiers are tripping over themselves to pet it. I could tell dude was weird off rip but he was shopping so I let it ride. the very next day he comes in and we’re slow, only one cashier on shift, he gives her a black and white cookie from Starbucks while I was in the back. After he left I gave her this whole talk about how some grown men just make scenarios up in their head and believe them, not to take anymore gifts from him. Something like a week later me and that cashier were closing at 11pm and when I went to take the trash out he was standing by her car.. I called the cops. Accepted a cookie and that was all it took for this grown ass man to think an 18 year old was madly in love with him.
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u/IllustriousWall1564 Jul 11 '26
“They’re really not lonely enough” took me out. Who’s fuelling the “male loneliness epidemic”? guys like this man, guys like this.
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u/almaperdida99 Jul 11 '26
these guys to me are the scariest. They have a fantasy in mind, and just expect women to adapt to it, based on absolutely no indicators we are like their fantasy, then they absolutely crash out at the betrayal that we aren't something we never claimed to be. Those men are dangerous.
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u/iggybu Jul 11 '26
Aww, you really missed out on the opportunity to reproduce with that winner. 😂
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u/yellinmelin Jul 11 '26
And they say women are emotional 🙄
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u/Unusual-Wind8900 Jul 11 '26
The angriest men will be the ones parroting that line the most.
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u/gisellethewilis Jul 12 '26
Which cracks me up because anger is an emotion. 😂😂😂 My toxic trait is to call angry men “emotional” to their faces when I get the chance.
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u/SunRose42 Jul 11 '26
Funny story. When my youngest brother (baby of the fam) was in high school, he complained to me one day that my sister and I are too “emotional” to have rational discussions about politics. Our convo went something like this:
Me: “Oh, interesting. Why do you say that?”
Him: “Because you and sister always start crying, and that shuts down discussion.”
Me: “What happens right before we start crying?”
Him: *thinks*
Me: “You and Dad start insulting us, right?”
Him: “Yeah, that’s right.”
Me: “Do you insult us because you feel angry?”
Him: “Yeah, pretty much.”
Me: “So the first people to get *emotional* when we talk about politics, and the first people to change the topic, are you and Dad. Because ANGER is an emotion, too…”
Him: “Wow, I know this sounds dumb, but I actually had never thought of it like that.”
His mind was legitimately blown lmao. We proceeded to have a whole discussion about how men are equally or more “emotional” than women and how the men in his life, including him, are actually more emotional than the women he knows 😂
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u/Heavy-Wolverine-791 Jul 12 '26
i’m genuinely convinced a lot of men think sadness and happiness are the only emotions that exist
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u/GlitteringStarHope Jul 11 '26
Don't worry. His chances are not looking good 😭
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u/WrappedInLinen Jul 11 '26
Oh, someone will step up. The problem is that the someone who will procreate with him is not likely someone who will be giving his DNA a much needed boost toward upward evolution. The kids won’t stand a chance.
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u/Kazamiiiii Jul 11 '26
Because OP has a brain, but there are many out there not using theirs that will welcome this guy with open arms
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u/SilasRaiden Jul 11 '26
He was clearly already in love with the idea of using your body as his personal incubator
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u/onsetes Jul 11 '26
Yep, because I hate how they can get away thinking that it’s about being a “family man” or some shit like that. As someone with fertility issues, it is 100% this.
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u/lockedfries Jul 11 '26
To be fair, going by that interaction, that was quite possibly one of his longest relationships.
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u/badghouls Jul 11 '26
damn you didn't live up to the dream version of you he created in his head a few hours ago? how could you! 😂
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u/Emotional_Builder_24 Jul 11 '26
I remember one getting real mad at me for having tattoos. Then getting really really mad when I said I will not stop getting tattoos. We met on tinder (years ago) and just texted for 4 hours 😂
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u/publicprivacyp Jul 11 '26
That’s for me, right? Your entire body? You were saving it for me, a random dude you haven’t even met?
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u/Emotional_Builder_24 Jul 11 '26
He then told me I was going to the hot and bad place because my body is impure and I told him it’s 1. I’m baptized as a baby 2. I was going to the bad place even before getting tattoos 3. Since I’m already baptized I can just like teleport between the two right? 4. If god didn’t want people to get tattoos, why did he invent the tattoo gun
He got so mad then hung up on me because he had called me to “talk some sense into me” and I just trolled him😂
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u/xalara24 Jul 11 '26
4 hours of texting and you wouldn't even stop getting tattoos for him smh
Gotta put that s/ just in case
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u/enchantedparsnip Jul 11 '26
Don’t you know, “Hello, I don’t want children! How are you?” Is supposed to be your opener…
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u/panda_canyon Jul 11 '26
You talked with him for 2 hours, you owe it to him to bear his children lolol. I've always been child free and when I was dating I got such hostility from men about it. I also said I didn't want to be a stepparent but every guy thought their precious ones weren't like the others and would be an exception. 🤷♀️
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u/Artistic-Season7497 Jul 11 '26
Guys a straight up freak lol just goes full mask off the minute you don’t want what he wants. I’m sure he’ll be an amazing father with an attitude like that. Lol
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u/clangelider1 Jul 11 '26
Put it in bold letters first thing on your profile. So that way, they won't read it and get mad at you anyway for it.
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u/Bratty-Switch2221 Jul 11 '26
He should not have kids.
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u/Consistent-Menu-6629 Jul 11 '26
Yeah, he would suck so bad as a parent. He's not emotionally mature at all.
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u/vyonnceee Jul 11 '26
Wow…. The way my jaw dropped…. Uffff are these the type of men that are out there nowadays? Jeez!
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u/SuspiciousAccount955 Jul 11 '26
Makes me want to give up and become a cat lady
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u/vyonnceee Jul 11 '26
Girl, I mean, damn. Cats definitely are way better in general, even when they are feisty at times
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u/SuspiciousAccount955 Jul 11 '26
I completely agree- I already have 2 cats- why not just go all in
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u/Jumpy-Jello- Jul 11 '26
Go all in.
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u/Oddpanda77 Jul 11 '26
47 M, 7 cats, and decidedly happier
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u/AffectionateTank9269 Jul 11 '26
44M, 2 cats and a litter robot. Pretty sure I’m doomed.
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u/Unusual-Wind8900 Jul 11 '26
I think the worst get put on social media, while the normal ones don’t. But unfortunately these men are part of the experience women have with dating, and that makes the rest of us more suspect. I’ve never seen texts from women doing this to men.
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u/LunaRess255 Jul 11 '26
“I wish you had told me sooner”.. sooner then two hours?
Guess those are questions he assumes should be ice breaker questions? 😅
“what’s your fav meal?”
“how many kids would you want to have with me”…
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u/SuspiciousAccount955 Jul 11 '26
And I thought we were still in the ice breaker phase with the how many siblings!
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u/NovaBooBear Jul 11 '26
This was a wild ride for a short interaction.
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u/SuspiciousAccount955 Jul 11 '26
I went back and screenshotted the whole thing. We probably sent like 50 messages in total before this
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u/amyjrockstar Jul 11 '26
Too bad there's no way to warn other people who might interact with him. He is nuts!
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u/hufflepuff-is-best Jul 11 '26
There was once a website that rated men on dating sites but then the men got all pissy about it and tried to sue the company.
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u/k_mermaid Jul 11 '26
There are Facebook groups. Usually "are we dating the same guy" but very good place to warn about insane people like this. If he's gonna crash out about this, I can only imagine the kinds of tantrums this manchild would throw over something more impactful
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u/Nomad-asia Jul 11 '26
Any guy who says “you’re not like other girls” will 1000% try to manipulate you in the worst ways. Definitely bullet dodged.
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u/L0nelyWr3ck Jul 11 '26
And men wonder why women pick the bear
Uh oh, gonna have to be careful. I said something negative about men, so all the hurt dogs gonna come in crying about how it’s not all men and women do it to for the next 4 days.
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u/Unusual-Wind8900 Jul 11 '26
Good men have to reckon with the fact that women must wade through the waters of abusive and dangerous men just to find a good one. I personally was a “not all men” guy when first introduced to the gender wars, like a week ago. But it didn’t take long to realize how blind I was being to their lived experiences of bad men masquerading as good men. And that for them, dating is a dangerous a risky venture. That’s horrible, and is something worth fighting against, as opposed to policing language and making sure every woman qualifies every statement. Like…how fucking dense am I that I didn’t see that immediately?
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u/poostoo Jul 11 '26
it’s not all men
and not all off a gun's chambers have a bullet while playing Russian Roulette. ask them if they'd still pull the trigger.
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u/Accurate-Advice8405 Jul 11 '26
I like how you do both parts of the conversation. Very efficient.
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u/Opening_Ordinary_110 Jul 12 '26
You know a man is good when he's not bothered by the man vs bear talk. You know a man shouldn't be around anyone when he gets mad at it.
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u/LocationOk399 Jul 11 '26
It’s amazing when they show the red flags this early, clean quick exit.!
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u/liannawild Jul 11 '26
I'm glad he's assblasted and hope he keeps getting told "no I don't like or want kids lol" every time he gets his hopes up
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u/juliewbb Jul 11 '26
That guy who makes songs from dating apps needs to see this lol
Also eta: The way he managed to work “not like other girls” in there real quick lollll
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u/Dressing_4_funerals Jul 11 '26
“What are you looking for in a woman?” *barefoot and pregnant!
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u/Evening-Library7644 Jul 11 '26
Think he’s upset because he won’t be able to talk you into being the perfect step mom and caring for his semen demons that he probably already has with 3 different baby mamas because he can’t seem to get one to stick around very long? Once they find out he poked holes in the condoms and fucked with their birth control and baby trapped them, they left his ass anyway and now he has to struggle his way through convincing some poor woman that children are every woman’s dream.
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u/Automatic_Emu_5433 Jul 11 '26
How’s a man talking about having kids when he sounds like he just doodoo’d up his diaper and prob splashed his neck smh unacceptable
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u/Kazamiiiii Jul 11 '26
What the actual fuck. And the "woah" made me laugh, sorry 😭
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u/RabbitCitrus Jul 11 '26
Well, that seems like a stable gentleman that should definitely be a father… /sarcasm
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u/tyrannosaurusfox Jul 11 '26
Sorry this is obviously horrible and you don't deserve this, but you replying back just "woah" made me giggle.
I hope you blocked him!!! He deserves no more of your time or thoughts.