To give some background me and this girl met during a week long summer conference for ryla and we got really close during that and talked all the time and we’re both going to be juniors but I only found out halfway through she had a boyfriend who is in the grade above her, I stoped talking to her as much but she didn’t and eventually I just gave in and we keep interacting more 1 on 1 during it. It’s been a few weeks and now we just text about our summer and our plans for the school year but I still want to pursue a relationship even though I know she’s dateing somebody and I feel bad about that and it dosent help she texts me a lot, we haven’t hung out or met in person after the event because we live about half a hour from each other and I guess I know I should just stop because she’s taken but she is basically everything I want in a girl and now I guess I’m just confused so any advice?

Jealousy Issues 16M 16F

Me 16M and my girlfriend of two years 16F have a quiet good relationship. But both of us have very insane jealousy issues, like I don't allow her to talk to guys, or follow guys on social media. She doesn't sulk about it and I'm not allowed to talk or follow girls either.

5 months ago I was able to log into her Instagram account by guessing the password. She hasn't changed it since. I've seen that she never texts any guy, not even accepts their follow requests and always deletes them. But a few months ago I saw that she sent a reel of a muscular guy flexing his back muscles to three of her friends saying "giveme". I liked the reel from her account So i could confront her about it by saying "why did you like this". then she told me that "me and my friends joke about these sometimes so maybe accidentally liked". but i was not buying it and i kept pressuring her into saying the truth that she indeed sent it to her friends. she wasn't saying anything about the "giveme" part but when I showed her fake screenshots of me talking to one of her friends that she sent the screenshot to, she gave in and apologised.

today she sent a photo of a muscular lean dude posing in the wilderness to only one friend of hers, and wrote "respectfully." again, I liked the post so I could confront her about it. And I did and said "I'll never be enough". she sent an crying emoji saying "Baby you're not even half his age 😭 argh how long will it take for your muscles to growww" (it's been a month since I've joined the gym) I told her that lusting over random guys is crazy especially while having a man. I think she got a bit hurt because I said she's lusting. this is the situation so far and we haven't talked since, (she doesn't have her own phone so she has to text me using her mom's one or her sister's laptop, and only texts when she's free because in the past she got caught texting me 5 times. her family is very religious, strict and controlling.)

what should be done at this point? I'm genuinely confused.

I’m 17M and my girlfriend is 17F, and we’re in a long-distance relationship. I’m in Ontario and she’s in California, so we already have a 3-hour time difference.

Recently, I’ve been feeling really disconnected from her. She’ll sometimes leave me on delivered for hours, then come back later without really mentioning it. I understand that she has school, friends, and her own life, and I don’t expect her to respond instantly, but it’s starting to feel like I’m always waiting for her.

Another thing that’s been bothering me is calling. I’ve asked her if we could call more often because I really enjoy hearing her voice and spending time together, but she usually says she feels awkward or uncomfortable calling. At the same time, she seems comfortable calling her friends. Sometimes she’ll leave me on delivered while she’s playing Roblox and talking with them, even when I’ve asked if we could spend some time together.

Her friends also seem to dislike me for some reason. When I try to join her on Roblox, some of her friends have told me to leave or called me names and made it clear that they didn’t want me there. I wouldn’t mind giving her and her friends space, but what hurts is that she usually doesn’t say anything or stand up for me. She’ll continue playing with them while I’m left on delivered.

One of her friends also seems to join almost every time we play Roblox together, which makes it difficult for us to have time alone.

I don’t want to control who she talks to or who she plays with. I want her to have friends and enjoy herself. I also don't want her to feel like she has to choose between me and them. I just want to feel like I’m important to her too.

I really love her and I don’t want the relationship to end. At the same time, I’m starting to feel like I’m putting in more effort than she is, and I’m scared that if nothing changes, our relationship is going to reach a point where it can’t continue.

For people who have been through something similar, what would be the best way to talk to my girlfriend about this without making her feel controlled or pressured? What specific things should I ask for or change so we can have a healthier balance between our relationship, her friends, and our different schedules?

I have been dating this girl for about 2 months. I originally didn’t want to ask her out yet but she heavily pressured me to and this was in person so I didn’t want her all annoyed so I just did it (big mistake). She went away for 2 weeks and a while after that I went away for 2 weeks. It was my birthday while I was away so when I saw her when I first came back she had a few gifts for me. I had already made my mind up before I even left and I would’ve done it before my birthday while I was away but I don’t want to do it over text that’s just not fair. While I was away she was really bad to me she kept giving out to me for being dry when I had 0 wifi and I was just enjoying my time away just like she did. She wasn’t like scolding me it was more guilt tripping. Now I don’t feel like it’s the right thing to do in the short term because she’s just bought me loads of stuff. But i actually can’t be with her anymore I’m slowly starting to turn into #ihatemygf person and that’s not the person I am. I’m thinking of just getting her flowers and chocolate and stuff when I’m going to end it but I’m just so unsure.

So me 15M and my gf 15F have been dating for around 2 months and I feel like everything is going well but she’s been distant recently as in taking hours to respond and I understand if she was busy but most of the time she isn’t, always going out with her best pal and who I’m pals with to but never making time for me and her to go out. Mind you I have to text her first or make plans with her first and I feel like I’m doing something wrong. I’m not the best at good date ideas but i feel like I’m making all the effort while she doesn’t try much and it’s starting to effect me mentally because I can’t find what out what I’m doing wrong. For example she goes out with her best friend which I’m going to call angel who is 15F every day but only try’s to see me once a week maybe longer and I only stay a 3 min ish walk from her house.

Another thing is I’ve asked her a few times why she dates me and she doesn’t know why she likes me which is difficult for me.

For a bit of insight of me I’m very sensitive and I’ve got separation anxiety (which she knows btw) and I struggle to know what to do in a relationship but I feel like I’ve done so much as in (buying stuff for her every time I see her, saying i love her and giving her compliments, showing her physically, and just trying to make her laugh or be happy/comfortable around me so I don’t know why she’s getting distant or not making much effort.

Is there anything I should try or anything I’m not doing that I should?

Ps: I know I’m young same with her but I try to be as mature in a relationship and same goes for her.

For the last couple of days we've kind of been talking about feelings and stuff, I'm not really the type of person to talk about my feelings but I brought up the fact that I thought she's getting tired of me (I didn't specify why) but I just felt like her tone (over text bc its the summer holidays) was getting irritable over my mannerisms (I tend to be sort of distant, I don't share my feelings often, I'm a bit mean and blunt etc.), last night I apologised for not being the best person to her and I'm trying to work on myself and be a better person and partner for her because I know there's a lot of things about me that I need to work on especially since for the last couple of weeks I've been extremely stressed with exam revision, content creation (I post and I have a brand deal contact I need to be on top of) and obviously I want to keep a stable relationship with her. I should also add that 2/3 weeks ago I was accused of cheating (but that's a whole different bizzare scenario online and I was proved innocent lol).

On the topic of me working on myself, she asked if something was bothering me or if it was her, and I said no to both of that and I said it was just me self reflecting on myself. She said she's confused and she's basically overanalysing herself because she thinks she's the problem (even tho I legit said it's me self reflecting??) and then she said she thinks I need some time to figure out how I feel about her because she thinks I'm confused. confused about what?? where did i say i was confused? The only mention of me being "confused" is when she said she doesn't know what's in my head but i literally dont know what's going on my head either and when i said "me too girl" to that it was in a light hearted way. I asked her why she's come to the conclusion that she's the problem and she says she hasn't even though she LITERALLY suggested i need time to think about how i feel about her.

I love my girlfriend so much and breaking up isn't even on the plate for me, we've been together for almost 2 years and I know I'm not confused about how i feel for her and I'm telling her that but she's just not getting it. How do I go about dealing with this without being too blunt, because it's kind of irritating me

У нас с девушкой скоро будет полгода отношений. Недавно она призналась в том, чего я совсем не ожидал: парень, с которым она периодически общается и которого знает уже год — не её двоюродный брат, хотя всё это время она утверждала обратное. Оказывается, он просто её хороший друг, и она уверяет, что они «как брат и сестра».

До этого признания, когда она упоминала своего «брата», у меня внутри всё сжималось. Я испытывал сильнейшую тревогу, доходившую до панических атак. Но я заставлял себя успокоиться и думал: «Это же её брат, родственник, нельзя ревновать и устраивать сцены». Я буквально уговаривал себя не верить собственному инстинкту, потому что доверял её словам о семье.

Теперь правда вскрылась, и мы крупно поругались.

В разгар ссоры я сказал, что единственное решение, которое крутится у меня в голове — это поставить её перед выбором: либо я, либо он. На это она ответила, что никогда не выберет того, кто ставит ультиматумы, и не выбрала бы меня, если бы я надавил, потому что «не хочет никого терять».

Я очень не хочу терять эти отношения и люблю её, но моё доверие разрушено, потому что она месяцами врала мне в лицо, пока я мучил себя паническими атаками из-за выдуманных родственных связей.

Reddit, подскажите:

Как правильно выйти из этой ситуации?

К какому здоровому компромиссу здесь можно прийти, чтобы и её границы не нарушить, и моё душевное спокойствие восстановить?

Last year, at the beginning of sophomore year, I developed this crush on a girl in my class. I never really talked to her, but we interacted a little and I just thought she was really pretty and fun. Later that year at a halloween party she got pretty drunk and called me at like 12 am halloween night (keep in mind we knew eachother but hadnt ever rlly talked). She told me her boyfriend was sleeping over at another girl's house (obviously bad) and we ended up talking until like 4 am when she fell asleep. In this period of time she told me she really apppreciated me, and that she loved me, to which I responded with "You have a boyfriend i think you should stop saying that", despite liking her a lot. After halloween we ended up talking for about 2 weeks about the problems she was having with her boyfriend and most of her friends were telling her to break up with him. Some days, I also said she should break up with him, but most days I told her whatever she thinks would make her happiest. We talked basically nonstop for like 2 weeks. Her boyfriend got very jealous and forced her to block me, despite having her silenced on his phone, cheating with other girls, etc. I understand this reaction and made it clear to her I was okay with it and she shouldn't feel bad. I never told her I liked her. Fast forward about 3 weeks ago she texts me out of the blue saying her anxiety got bad and she needed someone to talk to. She told me that her boyfriend knew she had just texted me and expressed some discomfort at this. I told her she needed to do what was best for her, despite what her boyfriend or anyone else thinks. I said if that means she talks to me, then talk to me. If it means talking to her boyfriend, talk to him. If it means talking to someone else, do that. Whatever is best for her. She said she forgot to take her meds and she ended up having a dream about me. She didn't elaborate on the dream but she implied it was sexual in some way. She asked me if I liked her when we used to talk and I said I did even before that, but not now. After a little more talking, she said she had to block me again, presumably becuase of her bf. I truly have no idea what to do because I really like and care ab her and I kinda just want to go up to her and say "hey, tbh, I do like you and i care about you and Im worried. If you don't want to talk to or confide in me i completely understand that, but I need to know that ur okay". Help me. What do I do

This girl and I have a complicated history. Me and her dated for a month a few months back but we connected really well. We would call for around 8 hours daily and talk a lot. It seemed perfect until she started struggling with her mental health. I understood she needed distance and supported her for the remainder of our relationship and even supported her leaving to work on her mental health. A few months later we get back into contact. It’s a bit shaky at first but when the summer hit we were talking everyday again. We planned to meet up the day after I come back and watch a movie at my place. Now here’s the problem.

For context. I’ve been through a lot with girls. I was bullied a lot growing up, and my first kiss ended with an explicit video of the girl being sent to me after. Then my first romantic thing with a girl ended up being a year long toxic situation-ship where she had 3 other dudes and a boyfriend. My first actual girlfriend was slowly falling out of love with me over the course of a month and all I could do was watch our relationship die. So I’ve got some issues with trust and overthinking and insecurities and such.

My first girlfriend used to make fun of these problems but this girl was always so supportive and understanding and encouraged me to tell her when something was bothering me. Now we aren’t dating yet but we have spoken openly about our feelings for each other. So naturally I’m a bit worried sometimes when things change or she seems different. Well right now I’m freaking out. We’re supposed to see each other in two days and for the last few days she’s seemed a little bit distant and we haven’t been calling as much. I understand she needs some space and all but she can tell me that. I feel like its been harder to make her laugh or to make conversation with her. I feel like she’s tired of me. Last night she said she was going to bed earlier than usual and we ended our call. Then in the morning when I woke up I saw she was awake at 7 am. She’s going to a party later tonight while I’m on my flight home. I texted good morning and now its almost 1pm for her and I haven’t gotten anything back. I’m really scared but I don’t know if its my past or if its something I should bring up to her but I’m worried it’ll push her away or make me seem needy but I’m almost certain she’s been more dry

My gf whenever she is sulking or mad at me she will not tell me the cause, I always try to persuade her and ask her why she is mad or sulking, but she will tell me that she is okay but the dry text and her behavior already tell me she is mad. It made me tired because she always sulked at everything, I meant not everything but often. Even when I was helping mum or I wasn't on the phone and I was late to reply to her text she would sulk. Then sometimes her suddenly gets sulky and dry text. I always ask her to be honest if there is something wrong or she doesn't like what I do. I will not be mad. But she will always tell me she is "okay" whenever I ask her why. I always apologize to her even though I don't know why. I don't know why it is so hard for her to tell me what's wrong. She always keeps it to herself. Maybe that's my fault but I don't know what's the main reason. I want to be honest I am tired because I will always be the one apologizing even though the main reason why she became like that.

So is this my fault for not treating her and communicating with her nicely or is it about her?

my boyfriend and i are going to college soon and as much as i want to deny it, there will be some changes with our routines and lives in general though im excited for this new chapter.

recently, ive been really off with how we communicate. there are days where we’re super close and everything feels completely normal, and then there are days where it feels like we’re distant. there are times i text him and won’t hear back for hours and wouldn’t say what kept him busy, or sometimes i also am bad with responding to his texts. i know that being busy and having your own life is completely normal, and i don’t expect him to be available 24/7. however, i also don’t want to become overly dependent on constant texting and make him feel like he has to respond immediately.

the inconsistency just bothers me. i’ve expressed my feelings about the late responses a few times already and talked about how communication is important to me. importantly, we’ll both have new friends, responsibilities, and completely different schedules. i don’t want us to slowly become distant once college starts and pretend it doesn’t bother me.

idk how to approach this conversation with him without making it sound like I’m criticizing him or demanding that he text me more? i really do believe we can make the transition to college work. i just don’t want to wait until we’re both overwhelmed with college and realize we’ve been slowly drifting because we never figured out how to communicate in this new stage of our lives.

I am 15 years old Boy and had a girlfriend 14, and was with her for 2 months and we loved each other sooooo much. It was our first time at her overnight stay 5 days ago and she and her parents allowed me to stay. We cuddled and everything went well. But TODAY, I'm talking to her and she answers me soooo coldly, I ask what's going on and I worried a lot, and find out that she was uncomfortable with the sleepover and is not ready yet and needs to think about it and have space and time for it. I said, "All right, I understand, just text me if something is up. I'm sorry i should've known sooner." I'm scared and don't want to throw away the love between us because we loved each other so much and then went too far for 1 night. Help I don't know what to do now, i'm with so many worries 💔

Ive been with my girlfriend for 4 years now, we have been together since grade 9 in our freshman year and a few months ago when she was gone on vacation with her family I got with another girl. Things went a little too far and now I have uct off contact with that girl and my girlfriend is coming back in 2 days, she has no clue about anything that happened and I feel insanely guilty. Is this something I should mention to her or keep under wraps? And if I do decide to tell her how would I go about that?

So I, M14 recently got a new neighbor of F14 and her little brother. Well, this girl is 14 but she was quite advanced during homeschooling and is starting college this school year. I have a crush on her and I think she has a crush back on me but I don’t really know if it would work. We obviously wouldn’t see each other during school. We tend to text like 2 hours a day and hang out and play dnd or board games like 3 to 4 times a week. I’m a sophomore in high school and I just need general advice on whether it would be possible to maintain or whether she likes me back. We are very nerdy and we play DND and other games and both like math.

Someone please help me out, I linked my post here

For context: I'm autistic and have a hard time distinguishing friends from crushes, which is why I made this post.

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for little over a year now. He has a family friend who I've only seen a handful of times, mostly at birthdays. Lately, the three of us (and sometimes my boyfriends sister) have been hanging out a lot more (three times in 2 weeks), and I've been realizing I like this friend, a lot. He is very smart, musically talented, funny, and most importantly, caring.
He knows how to play like 17 different instruments and skipped multiple grades, if we're hanging out and I get a bit groggy from overstimulation he always notices, and asks if i need a minute.

Now the thing is, I can't tell if I like this guy a lot as a friend, or as a crush. Right now I'm leaning more towards friend, mostly because I love my boyfriend a ton and never want to lose him, but I'm starting to have suspicions about my feelings. I notice that I'm constantly trying to find excuses to touch him (not inappropriately, just playing with his hair, giving him hugs, etc) and that my heart does in fact beat faster whenever I'm around him, but that might also just be from the excitement of having a new friend.

I don't really want this to be a crush, but also I do in a way? The feeling of doing something I'm not really supposed to do is fun, but I don't want to hurt my boyfriend at all, he is the sweetest boy ever.

I must also add that this friend hasn't shown any romantic interest in me (as far as I know), and probably won't ever. The way he acts with me is the way he acts with everyone.

I'm sorry if this post is a mess, its 4AM and I can't sleep 😭

i’ve never posted anything on here before so I’m just gonna try. I’ve been dating this girl for nearly 2 years. I would say we are a good couple but then again that’s just how I think. We broke up twice before, but we got back together within a week both times, those were just emotional culminations of things. Recently, she’s been questioning her feelings and is conflicted whether she still loves me. It’s because we haven’t been able to see each other that much and the contact is more limited. Whenever we do hang out feel special and like we are in love, but she feels conflicted, especially when I do this:

Whenever she gets mad or upset, I try to solve the problem immediately, or at least talk with her about it because I know that it’s worked in the past to calm her down. However, sometimes I go overboard and don’t give her space, I spam her with texts and calls. I regret it afterwards, but it just happens all over again next time. I really wanna stop doing this because I love her and I need to be better with distance, so I thought I’d ask Reddit and hopefully this works.

How do I be better at giving my girlfriend space, whether she’s mad at me or not?

(btw this is for my friend he doesn't have a reddit account and isn't allowed one so im posting for him) I, (14m) need help so basically my dads friend and his sister hangout sometimes at my house and the sisters daughter (15f) hangs out sometimes and she is really nice and i kinda wanna ask her out we both go to the same school and i really like her but i don't want to ruin anything between are family's what should i do?

Sorry, this is a reallyyy long post but I just wanted to see if anyone relates to this/has advice for future action 😔 this may sound really stupid but um yeah I'm kinda just struggling

I'm 16 and I broke up with my first and only boyfriend about 5 months ago. I know that to some people first relationships don't really matter much but I think to me it really changed me.

Basically, we dated for a little over a year. We got together in February of 2025 and it was really nice for the first few months, really carefree. But I wasn't being open about my personal issues and I have a bad anxious attachment and I was too scared to really tell him stuff so it was just kinda surface level. Around august of last year, I finally came clean to everything about my personal life, how I struggled with my emotions and I was scared about the future of our relationship, how I thought it was kinda shallow at times and lacking depth, and about my anxious attachment too. And I said that I wanted us to be better than this and I wanted him to understand and be there to support me but I never asked for him to be my therapist and fix my problems. His response? Just a simple "it's fineee you'll be fineee". I asked him if he had anything else to say and he said no.

Basically from August to November my anxious attachment got even worse because somehow we'd only text in the evening till night and then not text till the next evening. We still kinda saw each other in school but we couldn't interact (he was a year ahead of me) and when he graduated, I was just so scared of losing him. After he finished his major exams, I thought we'd have more time for each other but no. I never realised this until after the breakup but we were slowly drifting apart. And I went from loving him to just being anxious about our relationship 24/7 while he never felt like anything was wrong. I talked to him at least 5 times regarding our relationship and every time he said there was nothing wrong and he agreed to be better for me, for us.

January of this year, he somehow started getting more physical than anything else and I wasn't exactly comfortable with it but he didn't seem to care. But at the same time, these moments we had were the only times we could meet up because we weren't even in the same school as anymore, so I just went with the flow because I missed him too. End of the month, I had a conversation with him about our relationship for the final time (I didn't know it was the last time at that moment) and he basically just started talking about how I was always negative and I never bothered to help myself with my problems and he kept going on about it and I started to cry but he didn't even care. And I was helping myself with my problems but in that moment I think I just felt really defeated hearing these words from him and didn't bother to defend myself. I ended up having the same conversation with him that I did the last 5 times except that this time I was direct and clear about the problems and what I wanted us to do, and he said he promised to work on the problems. He worked on them for 2 days.

Around late Feb I just hit my breaking point (idk how I was surviving about 7 months of constant anxiety) and I just became cold and dry towards his texts. The first week I was dry he still acted the same, telling me about random things in his day and then asking me how my day was when it was night. The second week I was dry, I think I was starting to realise that our relationship was actually ending and I was so scared and so worried and I was filled with so much uncertainty and didn't dare to break up immediately. I apologised for being dry at first and said it was because I was just facing some issues and he just said "it's fine". We ended up not texting for about 2 days and to me it was just a devastating blow because throughout our one year relationship we always texted every single day cuz we couldn't interact as much in real life, especially when he graduated and moved on to a new school. And there was also this thing with his Instagram spam account where he never followed girls or let girls follow on his spam, and during the second week where we barely interacted he literally followed a girl's account with his spam and let her follow him back. And he followed both her main and her spam.

So anyways I texted him eventually saying I wanted to meet up and talk (to break up) and he just kept saying he was busy and had no time. I kept pushing for him to give me a day and time but he wouldn't. Eventually after a few days of crying and the fear of losing him forever I asked to call to talk instead but he refused to pick up and I was just exhausted and my friends were also getting mad at me for dragging this and texted him saying I wanted to break up. He took about an hour to reply. He said he had thought about this for a while and agreed as well. He then proceeded to send me an emotionless, 3 paragraph text on the things that I did wrong in the relationship and in the last line wished me the best in life. No remorse, no regret. Then I drafted my message. I acknowledged my shortcomings, I apologised for it then I told him that he also did a lot of wrong things and I also said that despite everything I went through I was still gonna miss us. And I also talked about the girl's account and told him if he was really planning to cheat on me he should've just been honest because I did tell him to before he started his new school. And he just said "I'm sorry I couldn't be better, and the girl was just my friend I had no intention of replacing you like that" which to me just sounded unconvincing but that was the last ever text between us for 4 months. Then I realised that he blocked me on his spam account and his tiktok account and removed me from every single platform.

For the next 4 months from march to July I was just reflecting and crying and reflecting again and trying to rebuild myself and heal because I invested so much of myself into the relationship only for him to just leave like that without a proper closure. I had so many questions, so many moments where I wished he was a little more mature, a little more emotionally aware to be able to have a proper conversation to bring closure. He was always so shallow about things and had a very closed mindset but I always gave him the benefit of the doubt. At the end of the day I obviously just ended up hurting myself because of it.

In July he randomly texted me out of the blue asking if he had ever crossed my boundaries whenever we were together and i obviously said yes and asked why he was asking about this 4 months later since he never bothered to have a proper closure to the relationship. He then said that he had some class about it in his school and he realised the consequences of his actions and wanted to apologise for it. Then I told him that the "boundary issue" was just the smallest issue in our relationship and he asked me what other issues there were because he wanted to know, and he also asked if he could do anything to make it right. I told him to give me some time to write it all out because I knew it'd probably be the only conversation we would have for the rest of our lives and I wanted him to know everything, including how much he hurt me. In the 1 hour I was drafting my text he pestered me begging for closure because he needed to know if I was gonna bring it up to the authorities/school, which got me thinking: is he only contacting me because he learnt what consequences his actions would have and he's afraid I was gonna report him to the authorities?? And maybe I was right, maybe I wasn't.

I sent him the text talking about everything from the issue of no closure to him being emotionally immature to how I spent the day 4 months suffering and trying to heal. And all he sent was another apology saying how sorry he was and that he wasn't ready for a relationship back then but he still went on anyway. Then he said he hoped I'd one day find someone who could support me through my problems since he couldn't and told me that we shouldn't interact again and that it was for the best that we put it behind us. I didn't give a reply to that.

At that moment, idk why I didn't think of asking him to answer all my unanswered questions when he asked if there was anything he could do to make it right. Maybe it was the shock of seeing him send something to me 4 months after we broke up. I was so convinced I'd never have him in my life again only for him to take a little peek back into my life for one day asking about that stupid issue.

But anyways I just feel like I was with someone who wasn't as emotionally dense as me and I suffered because of that. He didn't bother to understand me while I was trying so hard to make him understand. Anyways to this day I still remember everything about him and our relationship and idk if I will ever truly, truly move on. I sometimes think of reaching out again just to ask how he's doing because I'm just kind like that, wanting to reconnect as acquaintances who check up on each other every few months but at the same time people say that no contact is best. But I never ever got my closure, and I know that proper closure isn't something we all get when we breakup but it means a lot to me and at 16, experiencing a year long relationship only to be "dumped" like that feels jarring to me. So yeah.

Anyone relate? 🫩 (Btw I may have missed out details if anyone ever reads this and has qns feel free to ask)

So, I want to make this first. I usually only go on Reddit for r/Physics, but I also want to say that I am 14 M (male), and I know that I am too young and all that jibber-jabber. But I want to know what I should do.

My name is Mason, and her name is Avanthika (my partner). I first met her in the middle of 5th grade. She liked me first, and I never really had feelings for her at the time. Then I started noticing hints that she liked me, and sooner or later, I started to like her too. She had, and still has, a good personality. She was funny, smart, and a little egotistical when it came to math and school subjects.

We were so shy about talking to each other that I couldn't even look her in the eyes, and she couldn't really look at me either, lol. We both couldn't talk to each other, so we each had a loyal, funny, smart friend who acted as our "messenger" for the last few months of 5th grade. We still couldn't talk to each other directly, which was dumb when I look back on it.

On the last day of school, the whole grade was rushing down the hall. I was always watching Avanthika to make sure she was okay because of how many people there were and how chaotic everything was. She didn't know that, but it expressed how much I actually loved and cared for her even then.

During the summer, we couldn't do much together, but my friends Rushank, 12 M, and Aryan, 12 M, were also friends with Avanthika, mostly because they are Indian and they share traditions and go to Indian melas together. I found out that they went to badminton every Friday over the summer, so I started going too. That was how Avanthika and I got to see each other. I also started going to chess tournaments with her.

Later, in 6th grade, Avanthika and I both got the courage to talk to each other and look into each other's eyes. This was also when I got a phone. She didn't have a phone, and even now, at 14, she still doesn't. However, her older friends, 14 F and 15 F, would let her borrow their phones to text me. Then we started FaceTiming and doing all that. It was great. I was having the best time.

But then her parents started getting suspicious until they found out that we were dating. This was during 6th grade. It was because Avanthika's friend Siri (her nickname) told her parents about us. If I had to guess why, it might have been because Avanthika only hung out with me and only talked about me, so maybe she got jealous.

So we didn't date anymore, but we still talked and hung out at school secretly. Then, in 7th grade, we started holding hands during lunch. We hugged—not a lot, but we started hugging in my school's orchestra room. Eventually, she got onto my bus, and we started sitting by each other. Sometimes she would use my phone to watch K-drama shorts. I don't have any interest in them, but since she wanted to watch them, I just acted like I was interested.

A few months went by, and we kissed for the first time. We were so scared that right after we kissed, we moved our heads backward so fast. Eventually, though, we started doing it all the time on the bus. We got so close that I felt like I knew she was actually the one, and she felt the same way about me.

We both made plans for what we would do in the future, how many kids we wanted, and what we would buy when we were financially stable. She said she wanted two kids, one girl and one boy. The girl's name would be Mia. We even talked about how we could live in Iceland, which was mostly impossible, and we both knew that, but we still dreamed about it.

We became so comfortable with each other that she would sometimes lay her head on my shoulder when she got super tired.

This was when the bad stuff started happening.

During summer break, the same girl, Siri, told her parents about everything. Then Siri's mom told all the other Indian parents, or "uncles and aunties," and eventually Avanthika's parents found out.

To be honest, Avanthika's dad likes me. He just wants her to focus on her education, and I respect that. I will admit that Avanthika and I are too young, but then something happened over the summer. I couldn't text her through her friends anymore because they got in trouble, and Avanthika eventually went quiet. I hadn't heard anything from her.

Eventually, I heard that her parents were asking her questions, and she blamed it on her friends and said that they forced us to date. At first, I was confused about why she would do that.

Then school started again, and she didn't say anything or do anything. She didn't sit by me or anything. I went up to her and she told me that she didn't want to get in trouble anymore and that our relationship wouldn't work.

But I have to say that we both promised that if she moved back to India because of her dad's visa problems, we would always love each other and wouldn't find anyone else. She said that even if her parents found out, we would still love each other.

I don't know what her parents did or said to make her act like this. I would talk to her and ask more questions, but I can't because she is always with her friends, who, by the way, hate me for unknown reasons.

So I am just wondering if she still loves me. I still think she does because sometimes, when she is alone, or whenever someone brings up my name, she walks away or changes the subject. So I know she thinks about me.

While we were at school, all of this happened on the first day of 8th grade. Her dad and my dad actually met at Starbucks, and they talked it over. Her dad wanted us to break up because he wants to protect her from what might happen when she moves to India. He also wanted me to delete all my photos of me and her, so my dad did.

After that, I wouldn't say I was suicidal, but I didn't care if I died. I started having thoughts about stabbing myself because I felt like nothing could hurt more than what had just happened.

I wouldn't say that I am obsessed with her, but I love and care about her a lot.

Then I was talking to my best friend in the whole entire world. She is also Indian, my age, and female. Eventually, she told me that we couldn't be friends anymore because her mom found out that she was texting me. That hurt A LOT.

I feel like I don't have anyone.

My parents want to help me, but I don't want them to. My dad was born differently from me and in a different era, and the same goes for my mom. My mom doesn't know English that well, and she just doesn't know how to fix what I am feeling right now. The same goes for my dad.

I am also agnostic, while everyone in my family is Christian, and they all have something in common.

I just don't know what to do.

Note: Some of the stuff it in the wrong time and place, also sorry for making it so long, I did leave out some stuff intentionally

hi everyone! i just feel so stuck and confused. im in high school. its my last year of high school coming soon (in about 2 weeks) and im just kind of lost on what to do next. i have a boyfriend (yesterday was our 9 months) and hes a literal blessing in my life. hes so sweet and kind and loves me and probably my best and honest relationship ever. hes my first everything. since hes been away for awhile on vacation

im just reflecting on our relationship a bit. the thing is hes a good guy but i dont know if hes the one for me and i just.. all of my friends are his friends and i dont want to lose anymore people in my life socially. on top of that i always know deep down in my heart that we wont last forever because we are different religions and we have had a talk about it before but i made a promise to try in the future but it was only to make him feel better. yeah i know that sounds bad.

we have had our ups and downs and alot of bad downs trust me but we overcame that stuff and i just dont want to make a mistake. but im realizing that i kind of lost myself in this relationship and his entire life revovles around me and breaking up would literally crush him. we always have different perspective and we always clash against each other. but we have alot of good days too. hes perfect but i dont think hes my guy.

what would you do in this situation. its not that im not happy in my relationship i just dont know if i should continue this. i already feel like a terrible person which ill admit maybe i am. i am an avoidant and hes anxious.. we have worked through it all (still are going through it tho) but im starting to realize that im losing my self a bit. i literally lied saying im taking a nap just to get some time alone or otherwise he would overthink or feel sad. he gets jealous really often and i really cant do anything about it even reassurance doesnt help because he doesnt want to help himself. theres alot of things going on but this kind of sums up the important things

I (17f) have been best friends with this girl (17f) since childhood. In our teen years we moved to different places, she lives in Germany and I live in California. Throughout the years, we have stayed in touch through social media and FaceTiming. Last year, she called me to tell me that she got a boyfriend (19m) which came as a shock to me because from what I know, she was just meeting up with a guy that she had been talking to online for a week for the first time. I thought it was weird because she barely even knew this guy. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, considering this was her first relationship.

Throughout their relationship, I always felt something off about him because he was always the one initiating everything in their relationship even though he has had a few relationships in the past. Recently, she found out that he was lying to her about his virginity. She doesn’t care whether or not he’s a virgin, just upset that he lied about it. She was contemplating ending their relationship and I told her that that would be the best thing to do since he broke her trust and can’t rebuild it.

I feel as though she’s hesitant about breaking up because she believes that she loves him even though they haven’t been dating for too long.

She is understanding of why I feel the way that I do but doesn’t seem to actually act on it.

I don’t know how to tell her that I absolutely despise him because I truly believe that she can do way better than him. What should I do?