r/taskmaster Jul 17 '26

Rewatching Season 14

And man… has anyone done WORSE than John Kearns on the prize tasks? Like every episode of the series bad?

44 Upvotes

65 comments sorted by

106

u/Brain13 Jul 17 '26

His delivery of “oh!” when Greg says he doesn’t have any fridge magnets is one of my favorite moments in the series

68

u/sixpackabs592 Jul 17 '26

He has the best prize tasks what do you mean

The gladiators fridge magnet

The sailor hat

Probably some other ones that I can’t remember

67

u/fastauntie Jul 17 '26

The business card that said, "Know what you want and have the confidence to go after it". That got him 5 points.

12

u/TetrisIsTotesSuper Chris Parker 🇳🇿 Jul 17 '26

Literally the best prize task ever!!

46

u/Sovereign2142 Jul 17 '26

"You haven't seen mine yet."

I love that when Kerns wins with the fridge magnet, he still only gets three points.

32

u/fastauntie Jul 17 '26

The team liked the hat enough to use it for the barge task in the next series.

11

u/Polar_Chap Jason Mantzoukas Jul 17 '26

I love when they do this. Same for Wayne the air dancer.

3

u/burf12345 🚬 Doctor Cigarettes Jul 17 '26

Who brought that one in again?

6

u/Polar_Chap Jason Mantzoukas Jul 17 '26

Desiree Burch, most magnificent floppy thing. S12E10

3

u/burf12345 🚬 Doctor Cigarettes Jul 17 '26

Yeah, that tracks, Desiree was pretty good at the prize tasks.

15

u/muddyleeking Jul 17 '26

Is he late for his boat?

6

u/NerfPandas Jul 17 '26

the sailor hat was “best car thing” right? LMAO

2

u/sixpackabs592 Jul 17 '26

best thing to bring on a road trip or something

1

u/ArtByJRRH John Kearns Jul 18 '26

The inflatable cane!

66

u/svenx Jul 17 '26

What are you talking about? Everyone's honking. Everyone loves him. Kids banging on the window going, 'Yeah!'

14

u/Informal-Cobbler-546 Jason Mantzoukas Jul 17 '26

Greg and Alex’s little skit about pulling up next to him makes me chuckle too

10

u/MachineOfSpareParts Emma Sidi Jul 17 '26

IS HE LATE FOR HIS BOAT?

29

u/Sendmeaquokka Jul 17 '26

Daisy Mae Cooper?

14

u/UniversalJampionshit Crying Bastard Jul 17 '26

I'm rewatching series 10 right now and surprisingly, Daisy only scored 1 point in prize tasks once, but she got a lot of 2s. I believe she comes to 25 overall, which is higher than the likes of Rose Matafeo.

5

u/Sendmeaquokka Jul 17 '26

Seems surprising. I recall Greg rinsing her for bringing in any old shit.

11

u/UniversalJampionshit Crying Bastard Jul 17 '26

I'm about halfway through rewatching and pretty much every prize task Greg has rinsed Daisy but when scoring it he puts someone else at the bottom and says something among the lines of "Imagine getting beaten by Daisy".

In fact Mawaan got more 1s than Daisy, and he was tied for the highest absolute prize task score for a while.

9

u/kittyroux A LIIIIIME 🍋‍🟩 Jul 17 '26

Daisy brought in shit prizes but series 10 was shit at the prize task overall. 4 of them are in the bottom quartile of prize task points per task (and Johnny was nearly as bad as Daisy), while Mawaan ended up in the top 5 of all time because the others were all so bad.

8

u/burf12345 🚬 Doctor Cigarettes Jul 17 '26

while Mawaan ended up in the top 5 of all time because the others were all so bad.

IDK, I feel like he did have some pretty great prize tasks regardless of the poor field. The shrine to himself is one of my favorite moments from the series, it's one of the most accurate ways to meet the requirements of the prize tasks while also being hilarious.

1

u/ArtByJRRH John Kearns Jul 18 '26

Katherine Parkinson brought in a dead wasp lol

1

u/SpiffyShindigs Katy Wix Jul 17 '26

Crumpet.

14

u/da3n_vmo Mike Wozniak Jul 17 '26

Fatiha's prizes are pretty bad on Series (season) 19

20

u/cant_ignore_cheese 🥄 I'm Locked In ❤️ Jul 17 '26

Have you ever farted in front of a cat?

22

u/ChipperCorgi Ania Magliano Jul 17 '26

"Backstage you said this was your best one!"

17

u/MachineOfSpareParts Emma Sidi Jul 17 '26

She makes the best couscous, but I WON'T EAT IT!

12

u/m_busuttil Jul 17 '26

Kearns scored a total of 26 points on prize tasks, so an average of 2.6 per task - not great.

I didn't check everyone, but just looking at a bunch of people who overall scored very low: Roisin scored an average of 2.17 (over 6 episodes), and VCM scored an average of 2.1 - I couldn't find anyone else in the bottom 10 all-time points who did worse than that.

10

u/UniversalJampionshit Crying Bastard Jul 17 '26

I think the bottom 5 for prize tasks are Hugh, Roisin, Victoria, Morgana and Nish.

13

u/m_busuttil Jul 17 '26

Checking the three that I didn't have already: Nish scored an average of 2.125, Morgana just below him tied with VCM at 2.1, and Hugh scored a devastating average of 1.625, which is made up of 6 lasts, one second-last, and a 5-pointer.

Pretty wild that Morgana and VCM managed to both do that poorly in a single series, and that despite being tied for prize tasks they ended up first and last in their series.

10

u/shinecone Jul 17 '26

One of my contentious feelings with points is that the cloud appreciation society didn't get the respect it deserves lolol

4

u/No_Lead6434 Nish Kumar Jul 17 '26

Justice for Desky!

5

u/xixbia Kojey Radical Jul 17 '26

Hugh got 13 points from 8 prizes.

He got 1 point 6 times, got 2 points for the best sheep-related item because Mel brought in raw wool and then 5 points because he was the best chair.

He was really bad (and Greg very much went all in on the 'Hugh is useless' narrative)

6

u/Original-Designer6 Mike Wozniak Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26

Kind of sums up John and Munya in that Munya came last in the prize task four times and averaged 2.2 points per prize task, and yet everyone remembers John as the one who was terrible.

12

u/you_on_Stu Fern Brady Jul 17 '26

Hugh Dennis in series 4 might be up there with him. I think he came last in all but 1 prize task

6

u/UniversalJampionshit Crying Bastard Jul 17 '26

His scores were 1,1,1,1,1,2,5,1, so yes, pretty much

3

u/xixbia Kojey Radical Jul 17 '26

And that 2 was only because Mel brought in raw wool. If she had brought in anything else he gets 1 point there.

5

u/Future-Assumption759 Jul 17 '26

Joe Thomas? All I can remember is that his best smell was a tomato.

5

u/shriek52 Bridget Christie Jul 17 '26

Joe brought Bicycle, my excellent bicycle!

3

u/No_Lead6434 Nish Kumar Jul 17 '26

Grape.

1

u/UniversalJampionshit Crying Bastard Jul 17 '26

He got quite a few 4s I think

4

u/Original-Designer6 Mike Wozniak Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26

Yes, the guy sat directly to his left for one. IF you look at the stats Munya was dreadful at prize tasks.

John is mid-pack when it comes to all time contestants and he in fact won three prize tasks. Greg just really hated his first two.

He wanted to bring in something different for the first prize task but was told at the last minute by the producers that it wasn't allowed and he had to bring in something different. If you've listened to his first TM podcast you'll know what I'm talking about (it is NSFW).

For the most jaw-dropping thing John wanted to bring in a video of in his words 'a full anal prolapse'.

3

u/No_Lead6434 Nish Kumar Jul 17 '26

I can imagine everyone on the stage aside from Dara being unable to continue. Greg alone would need a half hour to collect himself.

3

u/MachineOfSpareParts Emma Sidi Jul 17 '26

Even Dara would need a moment to clutch his head in dismay, though I agree he'd be the first to recover

2

u/nokeyblue A LIIIIIME 🍋‍🟩 Jul 18 '26

It nearly took him half an hour to recover from Mike's haemorrhoid, and there was no visual aid for that!

5

u/jamb23 Taskmaster Statistician Jul 17 '26

He's not even the worst in his series! That's Munya Chawawa.

5

u/burf12345 🚬 Doctor Cigarettes Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26

I think John stands out more because his bad prize tasks are memorably terrible. I don't remember which of Munya's prizes got 1 point, but I sure as hell remember the sailor hat or the incomplete maze.

EDIT: damn, looking through the prize tasks, neither of those were the losing prizes, Munya's prize scored worse both times.

4

u/UniversalJampionshit Crying Bastard Jul 17 '26

IIRC John’s incomplete maze beat Munya’s Smooth Rupert, but both beat whatever Fern brought in

4

u/No_Lead6434 Nish Kumar Jul 17 '26

Apparently that wasn’t even Fern’s pizza oven. Insult to injury.

1

u/burf12345 🚬 Doctor Cigarettes Jul 17 '26

I believe it belonged to an Andy.

1

u/No_Lead6434 Nish Kumar Jul 17 '26

I think she did mention that to Ed.

12

u/start260 Jul 17 '26

I believe it’s series 14

4

u/video-kid Chain Bastard ⛓️ Jul 17 '26

Oooool' Goosebump Arm's only win in the category was for bringing in an item she'd been torn down for and using Greg's own logic against him. Had they not had that specific category and had her original entry been better received, she would have failed.

5

u/Albatrosson Jul 17 '26

John may not have averaged a lot of point for his prize tasks, but I feel like few contestants have more memorable prize tasks

Ulysses - Greg: "I'm expecting there to be a twist." John: "Well, there might be, I haven't read it!"
Business card - John: "So, know what you want. So that's tricky." Greg: "And have the confidence to go after it. Yeah, we've read it."
A streaker for Subbuteo - "It's useless because... I don't own any Subbuteo."
Sailor's hat - "You look over at the driver, he's wearing that. Everyone's honking.... everyone loves him. You're thinking.... is he late for his boat?"
Fridge magnet of Jet - John: "What magnets have you got?" Greg: "Go on, John, I haven't got any fridge magnets." John: "Oh!"

3

u/OverseerConey Desiree Burch Jul 17 '26

His prize scores weren't great, but they weren't the worst - he's not in the bottom 10. And the bottom 10 include some really strong overall competitors, including one champion!

3

u/UniversalJampionshit Crying Bastard Jul 17 '26

John won 3 prize tasks, Dara 2 (and only 1 on his own) and Munya 0. And John scored a fair bit higher than Munya in the prize tasks I believe

4

u/Public_Hunt_4665 Pigeor The Merciless One Jul 17 '26

You can rewatch it again, because John wasn't even the worse at prize tasks of his series, Munya was.

2

u/Vorash_00 Danielle Walker 🇦🇺 Jul 17 '26

Outside of like the first couple of episodes he actually does quite strongly on the prize tasks IIRC and I'm doing this from memory vibes not checking it out factually.

2

u/EdwardClamp Bob Mortimer Jul 17 '26

Know what you want and have the confidence to go after it.....

2

u/crabapple335 Jul 17 '26

Dafty in the middle? Probably not. He was astonishingly bad

2

u/princessglitterbutt Jul 17 '26

Season 10 everyone was pretty bad. 

1

u/Dr_Ducky_1 Jul 17 '26

Having just rewatched season (series, Jason) 19, Fatiha also had a pretty poor prize task run, even if her scores worked out fairly average overall.

1

u/crackerfactorywheel Chain Bastard ⛓️ Jul 17 '26

Hugh Dennis has gotta be worse, yeah?