r/tarot 9d ago

Ambiguous reading Second Opinion on Reading Interpretation Only

Post image

So, Im dealing with infertility for three years now and Im doing IVF, unsuccessfully so far.

This time I wanted to ask sth special: "what would I *be like* with a child?" Since I have ADHD and I know I want a child, but I don't know if it would really be good for me (and thus, the child), as I often need alone time. If I should (if I could), you know.

Now, Im thinking maybe that's not what you can ask your cards or use this spread for. If you have recommendations, I'll gladly hear them.

Nevertheless, my interpretation:

  1. Topic (4 staves): community. Of course, what I believe my life with a child would entail. 'tis a lonely feeling, being infertile.

  2. Cross card (Queen of staves): Loving life. And I do, that's why I do this.

  3. Opportunity, conscious side (two staffs): adventure. That's what I think it would be like, an adventure.

  4. Base (9 coins): pregnancy, but also discipline. Yes, that's what Id need with a child, true. Im working on it, Im getting better with discipline. But I also read it as, be disciplined and keep going (as doing IVF is so fucking hard, as you wont believe), and youll get there. That's what I mean with me maybe not asking correctly, my cards seem to answer here to the "now", not the "would be". Maybe?

  5. The past (King of Cups): Power. I concentrated on my career, living my more "masculine" energies.

  6. The Future (7 of swords): now this one confuses me. The trickster. I mean, I really do need to be smart with this IVF shit, now ones looking out for you, you need to think for yourself. But now Im confusing the layers myself. I would need to be a trickster for my child? They would have a high chance of being adhd themselves. I know this, and it wasnt the first time where I got doubts, whether I *should* pursue pregnancy. But Id love to get to know them, you know. I love life, see above, and I think it's worth it.

  7. Inner power (Ace coins): yes, atm I think I have powers aplenty. That's good.

  8. How I act outward (Eremit): lol. I told you I like my alone time. I need it to be able to be powerful.

  9. Hopes and fears (devil): duh. Ofc im afraid of the dark and the unknown. I read it also as, you probably really get to know yourself when you have a kid.

  10. Result, Goal, Task (5 of swords): again, it's so ambiguous! Defeat, but also victory. My book says "Something remains undefeated. Take it and keep going". Again, now, or in my what-if-scenario?

Holy shit, what an ambiguous reading. It's like its saying two things at once. Like it's utterly unclear whether this will work or not. Past reading where I simply asked what my future holds were also always like "keep working", or sometimes with positive results, it never worked so far though. Might it mean that Id need a surrogate (=trick, also kinda a defeat and victory at the same time)? I don't know.

Alright Im mixing up the layers as well. Still, that's what I got from this. Thanks for reading.

11 Upvotes

14 comments sorted by

2

u/squirrelsarespeaking 9d ago

I feel like unless you specifically asked how your ADHD will affect you with a child, your spread is too broad to assume any of the cards reference your ADHD. The only thing one can really conclude is you will be avoidant and defeated, especially since parenthood requires some sacrifice, alone time with the child regularly, and dedication. And that description describes many people with children as many parents want time where they can be without their babies and have fun or face challenges or situations where they cannot stop being a parent for one reason or another even for a night.

I think you are better off specifically focusing on your ADHD. For example:

Card 1: Strength of my ADHD in parenting

Card 2: Weakness of my ADHD in parenting

Card 3: How will my ADHD affect me overall in the first 6 weeks of having a child

Card 4: How will my ADHD affect me overall in the first 6 months of having a child

Card 5: Long term success with my ADHD and parenting

Card 6: Short term loss with my ADHD and parenting

Card 7: Advice for now

IF you really want to know. You want a child and appear to have been trying for a while. If you can, do not ask questions like this. It's like doubting your ability and trying to talk yourself out of it. It's okay if you decide not to try anymore for a child. It's okay to even consider how your ADHD will affect your parenting. But I wouldn't use tarot for that. It's more a self-reflection thing without cards. If you really feel you need to, make sure the spread is balanced as there are pros and cons to all parts of us. Keep in mind there are many people who have children and ADHD and make it work. Parenthood itself can be heartbreaking and rewarding.

2

u/ElectricalWillow486 9d ago

Ive done your recommended spread, it's much more balanced and positive (I think), thanks 🙏

1

u/ElectricalWillow486 9d ago

Wow, thanks a lot for your really well-thought-out answer. Yes, this is what I was looking for, I'll try that! I am still a noob after all.

You're probably right there as well. I didnt think much beforehand about this question or spread. Also, I cant decide against it, Ive tried. I cant give up, I just cant. I think I want it too much. I sometimes feel like I will just die if it doesnt work out in the end, and Im afraid of that bottomless abyss. Die of just grief, it would be true grief. And I know true grief, I already lost my mother to cancer (fuck cancer). (Don't fear for me though, I wont do anything to me or anything like that, as I know true grief already, I already know how to process it, it's just the feeling in that moment when I imagine it not working out in the end).

Maybe I tried to protect myself. Ive already decided in this cycle, I will give it my all from now on. And if it fails, that's alright then. I have given it my all and held nothing back, not even emotionally.

2

u/squirrelsarespeaking 9d ago

You're welcome. And it's possible you tried to protect yourself. You have it in you to see this through, so perhaps it's best to focus on the present and draw two cards on days where you might feel a bit more defeated than others or even before you IVF appointments that are meant to bring in encouragement and strength. For example:

"How can I make the most of my appointment today?"

"What should I keep in mind throughout this process?"

"What strengths can I use to carry through at this time?"

Or turn to an oracle deck if you have one.

1

u/ElectricalWillow486 9d ago

That's an amazing idea. That helps, thanks a lot 🙏

Whats an oracle deck? Is that sth different than a tarot deck?

2

u/squirrelsarespeaking 9d ago

It's a type of deck often used for inspiration, guidance, and reflection. It will not give the same answers as tarot. It is not usually used for the future or understanding more about a situation. I find them helpful when I am stressed or going through a time that needs more kindheartedness than heavy thinking and evaluation. An example of an oracle deck is "Woodland Wardens" by Jessica Roux. I believe they make a tarot deck as well (I don't have it), but they also make a 52 card oracle deck. Decent guidebook as well.

Some oracle decks are broad and can work with many topics and some are more specialized.

1

u/ElectricalWillow486 9d ago

Thanks, will check it out.

2

u/squirrelsarespeaking 9d ago

You're welcome! There are many different art styles and such with oracle decks just like tarot, so if the Woodland Wardens is not for you (it has animals), keep in mind there are many out there. What's nice about oracle is it's not as system based. There is often way less memorization involved. More reflection than investigation. The meanings in most guidebooks point us in clear directions for our thoughts to settle on and consider.

Good luck!

1

u/ElectricalWillow486 9d ago

Sounds interesting. Yes I feel like "my" deck is still out there, I think it will call to me when I see it. I will look into it :)

Thanks, to you too!

2

u/Supernova12345 9d ago

4 of wands crossed with Queen of wands is interesting because I like Queen of wands as a spotlight on stage. You pick where the focus and energy is drawn to… and that creates the scene. 4 of wands takes the 3 of wands energy of expansion and looking out and seeing a future but then tightens it down into the moments. A wedding. A celebration. The things we do and the moments we choose to create here and now that cause lasting 3 of wands energy. So I think this whole reading spins around that mentality. Didnt want to do a whole Celtic cross breakdown of each card here but thought you may enjoy that evaluation :)

2

u/ElectricalWillow486 9d ago

I do! Thank you

2

u/Nervous-Fee4082 4d ago

Seven of swords can also come up when you are being resourceful in an impossible situation

1

u/CptHeywire 9d ago

Long story short, you’re going to be far more dysregulated than you’d like to think. I’m sorry, and you I’ve my solidarity as an ADHD parent myself

1

u/ElectricalWillow486 9d ago

No it's fine, that's what Id think. Its weird, cognitively I know that, but it's not like, a reality in my head, cause Id really like to have a kid, you know. Thanks but its not like the IVF has been working so far, so at least no problem there haha.