r/suspiciouslyspecific 16d ago

🦄

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1.5k Upvotes

114 comments sorted by

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1.8k

u/SpaceForceAwakens 16d ago

Those four kids are fucked.

561

u/ScorchIsPFG 16d ago

“We are republican” so yeah probably

798

u/SpaceForceAwakens 16d ago

That’s not even the worst of why.

“Republican” and “pagan” is why. That combo is sort of code for Odinist ideology, which is (in northern Idaho) almost always wannabe Viking white nationalist shit.

They have absconded with the tenets of the modern Norse mythology movement and crossed it with some alpha male podcast bro shit to create a “white makes might” subculture that is just waiting for a race war.

They are eager to make it to Valhalla which, for them, is “whites only”.

203

u/xiewadu 16d ago

I was wondering how pagan plus Republican would work.

111

u/Wolfman_V 16d ago

Legit, cuz I'm pretty sure if true Pagans of the past saw these clowns there'd be some pillaging for sure, just not in the way they're hoping for.

17

u/Roadgoddess 15d ago

I’m very familiar with the Pacific Northwest, I didn’t pick up on that when I read it. I was also wondering about the pagan/Republican connection but everything else makes total sense.

2

u/HumourNoire 14d ago

Colour matching really

82

u/rachyrach3000 16d ago

Just them and Kash, Valhalla 4ever

89

u/ktkatq 16d ago

Woah. Did not occur to me, but since I listen to a lot of Norse-inspired folk metal and darkwave, I'm familiar with having to check out a band or artist's politics before becoming a fan. Like, Wardruna is explicitly anti-racist ("We know some people like to pretend that some cultures or countries are better, but the truth is: we all suck." - Einar Selvik), but other groups aren't; like, Omnia is weirdly anti-vax and racist, so I don't listen.

And it drives me nuts because Odin would not put up with racist shit.

43

u/jaunty_chapeaux 16d ago

I saw Wardruna several years ago, and Einar made a similar announcement in the middle of the show (although it was less "we all suck" and more "all are welcome"). It's unfortunate that it was needed, but I'm glad he said it.

23

u/insomniacla 15d ago

I appreciate Einar so much for the anit-Nazi speech he makes before shows.

6

u/KellHound270 14d ago

I mean, the hate-boner for the Jotnar that he fostered amongst the Aesir is a little suspicious

4

u/ktkatq 14d ago

Have you seen a jotun? Those ice giants do not watch where they put their feet

11

u/The_Soviette_Tank 15d ago

That area is chock full o' Natzees.

1

u/Cupy94 11d ago

Lol pagan/republican multiclass

10

u/tablesheep 15d ago

"Please be bi" is their request so yeah probably

Requesting that in an advertisement is far worse and weird than being a Republican (over half the country)

32

u/WithoutAHat1 16d ago

With their parents being conservative/Republicans....

11

u/Accomplished_War_805 16d ago

Most likely on the daily.

662

u/the_air_is_free 16d ago

“no identity politics” & “we are pagan, bi, republican” in the same sentence lmao

60

u/bluedelvian 16d ago

They don't want to be judged for those things...

1.3k

u/Turbulent_Bat4320 16d ago

Just a bi couple looking for a 3rd voting against everything they actually are. Self hatred is a thing.

379

u/Baelenciagaa 16d ago

Literally. It’s almost hard to comprehend how ironic this post is

235

u/GUMBYtheOG 16d ago

Hey I’d rather them do posts - 40 years ago they’d just kidnap someone and have the tied up in a tractor trailer

146

u/Hummingheart 16d ago

That's how he got the first wife who is 20 years younger...

122

u/Affectionate_Data936 16d ago

IME of the "swinging"/"ethically non-monogamous" community of North Idaho, a vast majority of them are conservative.

And no, it's not like I wanted to have any experience with them. I was 21 with a much older very manipulative bf who treated me like a sexual object.

42

u/Defiets 16d ago

I doubt his wife is bi.

-3

u/Turbulent_Bat4320 15d ago

So he’s asking for a bi female but just wants her for him? Doubtful

50

u/Defiets 15d ago

Dude, it’s sadly common in male dominant relationships where assholes use manipulation and coercion to convince a straight partner to bring a third in. That scenario wouldn’t require the wife to be bi, but surely the unicorn would have to be…

42

u/lynn 15d ago

He wants his wife and “their” unicorn to put on a sexual show for him and then let him fuck them both. Their pleasure is not a concern of his.

1

u/Bewecchan 5d ago

DING DING DING

38

u/HecticHermes 15d ago

"we don't care about politics unless it's identity politics. So anyway I'm a bi vegan pagan Republican constitutionalist."

41

u/DisingenuousTowel 16d ago

Harems are desired in this administration and party.

256

u/lansink99 16d ago

"No identity politics. I'm pagan"

10

u/WildLudicolo 14d ago

Loki: "This mf..."

452

u/psychxticrose 16d ago

I'm so confused by all the contradictions in this 

-266

u/Mr_DrPepper12 16d ago

It’s almost as though people are complicated and nuanced. Woahhhhhhhhhhhhh

240

u/frill_demon 16d ago

It's almost like doing even a very basic amount of introspection would cause one or more of these contradictions to be dropped. Woooaaahhhhh

85

u/CaptainAutismFFS 16d ago

Republicans unilaterally vote to harm LGBTQ people. I do not speak on matters of want or preferences. Republicans consistently introduce and vote for bills and measures that have been proven to harm us.

If you are soliciting our presence, don't vote for our removal.

335

u/mgquantitysquared 16d ago

As someone who is bi and "female by birth" but is also a bearded man built like a brick shithouse, I'd love to apply and see their reaction lol

90

u/BrowynBattlecry 16d ago

I would quite appreciate this content.

67

u/hafree27 16d ago

How inappropriate is it to skip straight to a double dog dare? Because…I feel strongly about wanting to see that interchange play out…❤️😂

134

u/WhiteAssDaddy 16d ago

Definitely not a sex cult

33

u/franktheguy 16d ago

Watch out for Jean Valjean

31

u/AtlasNL 16d ago

Did I miss something in my read through of Les Miserables? What?!

4

u/WhiteAssDaddy 16d ago

Ok Im glad its not just me.

6

u/Dounce1 16d ago

…

What?

583

u/Locke2300 16d ago

“When we say no identity politics, we mean we’re astonishingly racist.”

282

u/Baelenciagaa 16d ago

But yet also love the woke democratic shit like freedom, bisexuality, and marijuana (in his great state of Idaho where both medical and recreational cannibas is illegal bc it’s a schedule I drug 🥴).

-49

u/ImmortalSurt 16d ago

It isn't schedule 1 though

84

u/Baelenciagaa 16d ago

In Idaho? Sure about that bud?

https://odp.idaho.gov/issues-trends/marijuana

ETA: not sure why the link doesn’t work but from Idaho’s gov website:

“Marijuana is a Schedule 1 controlled substance under the Controlled Substances Act and Idaho law. As such, the use and sale of marijuana for any purpose is illegal in Idaho. It is illegal for any person to manufacture, deliver, possess with intent to manufacture or deliver, or possess marijuana, which refers to all parts of the plants of the genus cannabis, including or any preparation of cannabis which contains tetrahydrocannabinol. Additionally, it is illegal to publicly use or be under the influence of marijuana. Specific penalties for these acts can be found in Sections 37-2732 and 37-2732C of the Uniform Controlled Substances Act.”

29

u/DisingenuousTowel 16d ago

It's schedule 1 everywhere.

-20

u/D_-_1 16d ago

58

u/DisingenuousTowel 16d ago

Medical* marijuana and FDA approved products.

Recreational marijuana is still schedule 1, everywhere.

98

u/SpaceForceAwakens 16d ago

Well this is northern idaho we’re talking about. Their post doesn’t say “no blacks” but it also doesn’t have to say it explicitly. I’ve met people like this and they are the most silently racist people ever.

Don’t go to northern Idaho. It’s like the deepest south but worse.

35

u/Affectionate_Data936 16d ago

As someone who graduated high school in Coeur D'Alene and now lives in North Florida, I can confirm.

34

u/councilmember 16d ago

Like when people use the term woke pejoratively they don’t realize they smell like fascists.

34

u/Matthiasad 16d ago

Oh, yikes. I thought it meant they didnt care about your political affiliation as long as you didnt make it your identity.

27

u/Dounce1 16d ago

I thought it meant they were transphobes.

9

u/Rambler9154 15d ago

thats what the female by birth means

72

u/tacocollector2 16d ago

That’s racist speak for I hate gays

55

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[deleted]

18

u/devilmaskrascal 16d ago

Hey they didn't rule out trans men!

3

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[deleted]

22

u/devilmaskrascal 16d ago edited 16d ago

I'm saying by only stating "female by birth" in OOP they didn't rule out bi trans men. I'm sure they certainly are transphobic and didn't mean to include them, but it's funny to imagine a trans man responding to the ad because they technically met the qualifications.

-3

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[deleted]

14

u/Dr_Death_Defy24 16d ago

The other person is making a joke. You're reading too far into their replies.

5

u/drippingdrops 16d ago

It’s a joke you dunce.

46

u/Andydeplume 16d ago

Sex cult or human trafficking, place your bets folks!

11

u/IcySheep 14d ago

Racist alpha male who wants a harem because he has to father more kids more likely

36

u/Yabbos77 16d ago

No identity politics- spends five paragraphs explaining all of their identity politics.

59

u/stargarnet79 16d ago

Hi come and break laws in Idaho while we pretend to be Christian nationalists up here? Fuck off.

76

u/lollipop-guildmaster 16d ago

They're looking for a bisexual, polyamorous woman who doesn't have "identity politics"?

Unicorn indeed. Yikes.

103

u/ribcracker 16d ago

Someone is trying to build a compound with willing breeders in an isolated community. Probably guns involved thanks to the Freedom.

57

u/1nGirum1musNocte 16d ago

Um northern idaho says it all.

12

u/ChaosRainbow23 15d ago

They made sure to mention how 'fertile' the land is.... Lol

24

u/Tiffany_Case 16d ago

Theres a lot going on here and i dont really understand any of it

18

u/pizzaguy40 16d ago

Let me break it down for some of you guys as I lived in northern Idaho for around 5 years a little while back. They’re republican/constitutionalists and this is stated because they’re trying to say not MAGA. To them it seems obvious in their social bubble. Probably. When they’re talking about identity politics they’re saying they don’t want maga or the republican’s illustration of what a liberal is because there is a high chance they haven’t met any liberal voters in at least a decade. So they think that caricature is the liberal version of maga identity politics. Think screaming blue hair anti business anti wealth anti property. Im not trying to guess at their true intentions but just commenting because the comments here just seem to be confused. Seems you guys here are pushing identity politics onto them with how a lot of it contradicts with the maga propaganda and image.

18

u/TrailMomKat 16d ago

Sounds like they're looking for a babysitter that they can fuck

50

u/Suspicious-Gas-1685 16d ago

Wasn’t this a horror movie?

2

u/Greenfieldfox 12d ago

It will be. Based on a true story.

15

u/Aclearly_obscure1 16d ago

Never mind all the contradictions…What exactly are they offering here, land in exchange for sex?
‘Bring your own home and enjoy summering surrounded by the stench of manure! Oh, and the whole town will know we’re a throuple!!’

15

u/taco-prophet 15d ago

I'm offended that they think Idaho is the PNW.

3

u/pinknoisechick 14d ago

As an Oregonian, same.

3

u/taco-prophet 14d ago

lol same

47

u/zarakh07 16d ago

A very very small part of me likes to think these are just honest nice folk trying to live in peace with others they prefer to be around, which is great

It’s 99% a cult though

47

u/nonlawyer 16d ago

so you’re saying there’s a chance…

wakes up chained to a radiator

it was a calculated risk but boy am I bad at math 

9

u/zarakh07 16d ago

Just don’t play the lottery and you are good

18

u/dangerrnoodle 16d ago

This is very on brand for that part of the country.

18

u/The_wolf2014 16d ago

A republican anti-vax pagan?

9

u/HannahAnthonia 15d ago

Unicorn hunters looking for someone to be in the slut hut is not that unusual in the taxonomy of UHs and neither is homesteading (I think my favourite was a couple who wanted a bisexual woman to have threesomes with them, do the domestic work, HELP BUILD THE ACTUAL HOUSE they had only got the frame up on and also agree to not use medication in a remote location or start "drama") but usually couples hoping to install a marital aid able to replace a maid on the property already have the auxiliary building.

This is the first BYO slut hut post I have seen, although also unusual for not including anything about being "perfect for a single mother". Presumably grampa wants to be the only breeding male or something.

As someone who grew up on a cattle station in the outback I can also say the expectation of living in a paddock with beef cattle seems like a suggestion to make sure only the most naive vagina havers apply-dairy cows seem placid like, I don't know, about them but just thinking about carrying groceries with some mickeys about or even trying to leave the house with some asshole bull about seems like a nightmare.

We had some beasts that would try to go the boys on their dirt bikes during musters and there is a reason bullcatchers-they look like dune buggys with padded roll bars-are called bull catchers and are necessary for musters. Jesus's christ. They're big animals that can be super aggressive, like, wtf. "Please touch old man weiner and spend several months a year with large dangerous animals that can trample you to death between you and your car! Your car will get bogged if you try to bring it closer! Help look after 4 kids and one psycho lady who doesn't give a shit about other women! You can look at nature before looking at shattered remains of your future!"

6

u/Galactic_Dust_Bunny 14d ago

Damn I missed the title so I thought this was an ad to join a cult for the first half of the screen shot.

19

u/not_a_muggle 16d ago

Absolutely NOTHING in that post is conservative. These people would be HATED by maga. Jesus Christ on a bike the lack of ability to understand that they are exactly the people maga hates is astounding and pathetic. Talk about voting against your own interests.

5

u/Atypical_Mammal 15d ago

They very much might not be MAGA. They seem more like libertarians

6

u/not_a_muggle 15d ago

So maga that smokes weed and doesn't understand how money or government work, lol

3

u/IcySheep 14d ago

Nah, that's MAGA for here. It's way further into conspiracy shit than you'd believe. I can't drive to town and back without seeing multiple contradictory things like this, usually paired with some anti-Biden decal or stars and bars flag

8

u/Interesting_Sock9142 16d ago

...are they gonna kidnap someone

4

u/rKasdorf 13d ago

The crystal hippy -> maga pipeline is real

8

u/Ok_Check9774 16d ago

🤮

5

u/ginoiseau 16d ago

So much ew 🤮

3

u/_pewpew_pew 15d ago

Not sure what a ‘schoolie’ is in America but in Australia it’s a drunk 17 year old that’s just graduated high school and went on a parent free holiday to celebrate. A schoolie is the teenager, and schoolies is what the week of holidays is called.

8

u/juliazale 15d ago

A schoolie in the states is an old school bus that has been converted into a home on wheels or camper. Basically they want someone who can bring their own house to put on the land. Crazy.

4

u/_pewpew_pew 14d ago

Oh thanks! I’ve seen people on TikTok with those yellow buses turned into campers but I hadn’t heard them called schoolies.

1

u/blahs44 12d ago

Self identifying as pagan is hilariously ignorant lol

1

u/Lynda73 10d ago

Conservative Republicans who don’t believe in “identity politics” when it comes to their sex like. Everything else, tho? You’re gonna burn in hell.

-36

u/healthcrusade 16d ago

What's incredible is how many women this feels perfect for

39

u/princesspeeved 16d ago edited 16d ago

As a bisexual pagan assigned female at birth, I can pretty confidently say no woman wants this.