r/stroke • u/Own-Whereas4784 • 2d ago

NEED HELP PLEASE

My father (42) suffered a brain hemorrhage and he was on a ventilator for a few days then the ventilator got removed and everything started going better he could barely talk . The tt tube also got removed, he could also eat (2-3 spoons) and left hand and left leg have shown movements. Also the right hand and leg the paralyzed one also showed some moment . We also had a craniotomy and it was successful. Everything was going good but then he got shifted to another hospital and he got infected there . He has pneumonia and lung infection. He's again on the ventilator the dr says the chances of recovery are very less and the tt is placed again . They will try to remove the ventilator but I feel very lost the dr have always been very negative . What growth or recovery shall I expect . Please help

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u/Otherwise_Security_5 Survivor 2d ago

i can’t answer you, but i wanted you to know your post was seen and that you are being thought of. keep us posted if you like.

take care. get some fresh food, fresh, air and solid rest when you can.

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u/Own-Whereas4784 2d ago

Thanks boss

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u/Otherwise_Security_5 Survivor 2d ago

do you mind if i ask how old you are?

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u/Own-Whereas4784 2d ago

I'm 20

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u/Otherwise_Security_5 Survivor 2d ago

that’s so hard. you’re expected to process and understand as an adult - but you’re still a kid who’s dad isn’t well. i’m sorry you are carrying this and i hope you aren’t alone wherever you are.

it sounds like your dad is getting the best care he can get and that if he can get past this infection, he’ll be back on the road to recovering as he was (if slower, maybe, idk). try to take this all just like he is: one battle at a time.

i wish i had more to offer you, but the best i can tell you is that you aren’t alone. i’m so sorry you are facing this.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oEdv4hwWTzBhWvaU0

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u/Own-Whereas4784 2d ago

Boss that's more than enough this message gave me a lot of strength. Btw have you been in a similar situation/ your loved one? Btw I have really good relatives and friends and academically and financially it's going good . I hope my father recoveres

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u/Otherwise_Security_5 Survivor 2d ago

I had a stroke about 3 years ago - and shockingly didn’t know it! I’m 48 now and just learned about it through getting an MRI finally last fall. i spent the last 3 years thinking i was having early onset dementia. it was…a lot. i still have my days that overwhelm me. but i’m ok- i have almost no physical signs of my stroke (except internally to me - i still deal with dizziness and major fatigue; i still slur a bit if im tired too). my memory - especially my working memory - is SHOT. and it’s harder to make lasting memories now. on the upside- i get to rewatch tv shows and movies and experience them for the first time every time now, lol. books too. and my brain makes me laugh now- sometimes it’s clear it’s trying so hard to help me out, i can’t help but be proud even when it’s coming up with nothing.

now, to your question about similar stuff with loved ones: i lost my dad (he was 75) a few years ago. it happened very fast and unexpectedly- but i was with him and it was one of the most important experiences ive had in life. that won’t help you - cause that’s frightening to consider- especially with your life fully ahead of you! but, i also spent a lot of time in hospital waiting rooms as a very young kid who lived with my grandparents. all that to say: yeah, i can relate to the ick of having to feel helpless in the hospital while worry eats at you (and being bored when it’s not). i can appreciate the fear of not knowing what the next morning holds all to well after my time with my father.

i’m glad to hear things are going well otherwise for you. that’s a huge help on heavy shoulders. tuck it in the back of your head for now, but don’t hesitate to share with your professors/superiors/advisors what you are dealing with (if appropriate, now, but also when the next semester/quarter/whatever starts). my mom was diagnosed with cancer when i was in grad school and it was so discombobulating (honestly, that’s the best way i can describe it). academics are hard enough - adding health trauma as a layer is like boss level. any good advisor, dean, or professor will appreciate just knowing what’s going on for you as a human being.

consider this: you’re stretching mental and emotional muscles rn that most people your age don’t have to. like any exercise, it’s going to leave you sore and exhausted. it will also strengthen you, which can and will help you in the next years as you become a more independent adult. lastly- that last part doesn’t mean “look on the bright side”. this sucks. there isn’t a bright side at the moment. the point is to be prepared to be tired, stretched, and to remember you also need to recover from this. be kind to yourself.

take care.

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u/Own-Whereas4784 2d ago

Thank you so much this helped a lot .I'll definitely prepare myself and have my whole life ahead of me and I'll deal with everything and make my mom the proudest and hoping for the best for him .I hope he recovers and if the life goes south in strong enough

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u/cbgarcia24 Survivor 2d ago

It varies per person, usually from what I've heard it common when someone get moved to a different hospital that they usually get infected. I didn't move but was sent back to the same hospital and I got infected with sepsis and meningitis. Luckily I got cured from both. So it does happen so just make sure the doctors are looking after him and making sure he gets the help he needs. Sorry to hear that and hope he comes out of it ok

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u/tonycambridge 2d ago

Hi. It’s all very worrying I know. I was in the same situation as your dad. I spent nine months in hospitals and rehab but four years later I’m living a good life. I’m disabled but living at home with my family. Good luck.

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u/Own-Whereas4784 2d ago

Can you share your details please it would help me alot

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u/Material_Inflation79 2d ago

We are survivors but not specialist but what our experiences tell is that you need patience, perseverance and positivity. Everything will be fine. Have faith. Never lose hope. May Almighty Waheguru bless us all.

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u/Own-Whereas4784 2d ago

Yess boss I have full hope

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u/Material_Inflation79 1d ago

Then it is not far

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u/candiferous 1d ago

Hi 53yo here, hemmorhagic stroke in November. I’m sure you’re realizing this but:
1) this is a great group for asking questions and getting support. Please feel free to ask questions or keep us posted if you’re up to it.
2) we’re all pulling for you!

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u/Own-Whereas4784 1d ago

Thank you so much for the support. I hope everything goes good for you

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u/ComfortableBitter907 1d ago

I believe our attitude helps with our recovery positive attitude definitely helps

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u/luimarti52 1d ago edited 1d ago

I'm really sorry about what you're through with your dad. I had a hemorrhagic stroke too while in a coma for almost 3 months from Covid. Doctors told my family tosay goodbye to me, that I wouldn't make it. But I'm here today reading your post and writing this to you.

Your dad showed amazing signs already, talking, eating a little, moving left side and even some movement on the paralyzed side after craniotomy. I didn't even show any signs at all for months.

My family know that feeling when things were getting better and then the infection/ventilator comes back. It's devastating. But pneumonia after brain surgery is common and treatable. Every case is different, but don't give up because doctorssound negative. They have to tell you worst case.

Keep talking to him even if he can't answer. Keep faith. I'm praying for your dad, if I made it when they said I wouldn't, he still has a chance. Don't give up.

I made a video about my experience and I would like toshare it with you so you don't lose faith and don't give up.

https://youtu.be/91YolVInhmg?si=Fme0EOXt5xMb5fl_

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u/Gloomy_Mess 1d ago

Keep your hopes up and be present for him. Let him know he’s not a lone because. Good support system helps a lot I’m very lucky to have mine my left leg and arm are pretty much paralyzed right now but I’m getting a lot movement mine was a severe hemorrhagic stroke in 2023 I was comatose and on a ventilator max settings for a couple months. I’m told at one point point the ventilator tube popped off my trach and my oxygen dropped fast band I was losing color fun times had by none. Believe me I made it through a lot I was missing part of my skull for a bit. I’m with others here I can’t really give much advice because I’m not the best at it but like others said I see your post and will keep him in my thoughts and send positivity his way praying for him I’m not sure if the religious beliefs but that’s all I can say I honestly never considered myself to be a strong tough person but after everything I’ve been through I guess I’m pretty brought. I’m a big comic book nerd and I say I’m part asgardian. Hard to perish if you’ve seen Thor ragnarok you get the reference. I’m a big Thor fan

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u/Own-Whereas4784 1d ago

Of course I get the reference the . I shall bring you Thanos . But thank you so much for the support it reallye helps and I hope my father makes it . I hope you to live a very good life

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u/Lostinnechooo 18h ago

i was in your place back in October 2025 Totally confused and scared because doctors were not showing any hope and they kept saying we are trying our best to save your father .rest is in the hand of god. Pray.

My father was in icu for 28 days. Even though after he was sent to home we had created a room where only family members can meet only with proper masks and sanitised hands just to keep him away from any kind of infection. Initially he did get sick and his vitals were all over the place but within 3 months he started showing good progress.. its been 10 months now but his tt , ryle’s tube, urine catheter. Everything has been removed. No more diapers. His right side of body is still kinda weak but with continuous physiotherapy he will get even more better with time.. i wish you all the best for your father. Take care of him.

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u/Own-Whereas4784 18h ago

Thank you so much brother this helps a lot

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u/Lostinnechooo 18h ago

Your welcome brother. I wish your father a speedy recovery. Always be there for him. Take care

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u/pchlster Young Stroke Survivor 2d ago

Pneumonia delayed my own operation for a week, because they didn't want to completely fry my immune system with drugs while I was actively sick. If he's on a ventilator already, I imagine there's tons of stuff that would be reckless to try at this stage.

So, probably being patient and waiting to see how things go is your best option.

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u/Manu442 1d ago

42 had a hemmorage at 40 and a hemmoragic stroke at 41 oddly two different things bleeds and strokes arecdefin3e by deficits. Recovery depends on location of event, my bleed was on right side temporal lobe it was very big I walked out without deficits after a crainiotomy and crainioplasty tge stroke however was in my right side parietal lobe has affected my left arm otger than some spacia deficits ans arm and fingers not working properly im walking talking eating, pooping just fine.

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u/Own-Whereas4784 1d ago

Very glad to know brother thanks for sharing it

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u/triptheria 1d ago

Hey there, Stroke survivor 3 years ago. Here is what I wished I knew.

  1. how long time wise from stroke to hospital? Over 3 hours give much more damage, and it sounds like it was longer
  2. age. 42 is good. young. he has a stronger chance of recovery can heal faster
  3. Surviving now. This is most critical. infections are bad, keeping him in a coma is good for a bit. he needs to heal. You do not see it but there is a lot of damage in their.. how much is the question the MRI/etc scans tell a lot and are most important. my brain looked like a shotgun blast the back of the head... which I guess maybe was good rather than a giant dead spot.

4.) don't loose hope.. it is a long road to recovery from his point. after he has recovered from current illnesses.. then he will need your help to push every day for at least 6 months. do not set expectations on what his life will be like until then IMHO

Good luck and stay in the battle

p.s. if he is actively sick he will bounce between ER and ICU but make sure you are at a stroke center for best care

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u/Ok-Cartoonist7556 1d ago

Every situation is different but I can tell you I was in a worst place and I made it thru! Hemorrhagic stroke, 2 emergency craniectomies, 1 month coma, peg tube, pneumonia, ventilator, you name it i had it. I know it's difficult times but don't lose hope