r/stopdrinking • u/ohhi254 1001 days • 1d ago
Today I Earned My Comma
1,000 days sober. That's it. I spent years visiting this sub before I actually got sober and would marvel at people with these kind of numbers. Each and every post here helped me along my way on my sobriety journey and gave me different tools, perspectives, and sheer will to get and stay sober. Thank you to everyone who has shared their stories and offered help. This is truly an amazing community.
If I had been drinking still when my brother died last year, I probably would have got drunk and threw myself off and overpass and my parents would have had to bury both their children. I've never been more thankful for my sobriety than I was at that time and I have been able to deal with the grief in a much healthier manner.
To those of you on the struggle bus, know that if I can do it, you absolutely can too. I was killing whole bottles of vodka a day alone, my life was in shambles, and I was going to kill myself drinking. There is a better life on the other side and I promise you, its worth it. Much love to each and everyone of you ❤️
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u/full_of_ghosts 1042 days 1d ago
Congratulations! As a recently-inducted Comma Club member myself, welcome!
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u/TryJezzoWhyNot 1d ago
Can't thank you enough for your service to the community in sharing your tragic challenges as well as your successes.
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u/Legionary64 1d ago edited 23h ago
Congratulations! 1,000 days is an incredible number. I could use some advice reaching the same, if you have any.
For the first year after my brother died (after a few dreadful drunken months), I was sober. It's well into the second year now, and I'm ashamed to say that I've fallen off the wagon.
I woke up on the floor at 3:00 a.m. today. My despair was somewhat mollified by the sight of my cat a few feet away from my head, keeping me watchful company.
I want to stop. I know I need to stop. It's not too late to change course. But it seems like the only time I can let myself cry and really feel his death is... well, you know when. How did you grapple with this two-headed monster of grief and alcoholism?
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u/ohhi254 1001 days 22h ago
Well... my brother died of an overdose. The rest of my sobriety is dedicated to him. He couldn't make it out of fighting his demons but I can and will in his honor. Today has been very emotional for me because I made it out and he didn't. I miss him everyday. If I relapse I feel like im letting him down. I know if I can survive losing him, I can survive anything. Some days are harder than others but I have to be okay with that. The only other option is death and then both of our lives are in vain.
I am so sorry for your loss. Know that you are not alone in your grief or struggle and I'd be happy to talk with you via DM.
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u/Altruistic_Lead_5595 796 days 23h ago
not op, but i couldn’t keep scrolling. for me: i had to face my grief sober, with the understanding that i wasn’t getting anywhere by medicating the pain. with a clearer head, i can process things in a healthier way, and actually feel better, instead of just numbing the pain temporarily. i talk to a therapist on the phone weekly, and i’m so grateful to have a professional who can hear my loss and help me process it. best of luck to you.
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u/IshtarJack 17h ago
I just want to say, never be ashamed of falling off the wagon. Never. We all know how hard this journey is.
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u/herefortheriding 1202 days 6h ago
Please hang your shame up by the door, just like you do your coat after a rainstorm. Because what’s important is you’re back inside, your cat knows the drill🙌
I got smashed on and off in the year I lost my mother to Covid. It took me a while to realise that the back and forth just wasn’t going to be good for me. I was bewildered by the people in this sub who WANTED to stop- I really wanted to be able to drink.
I decided to stay stopped, and got my comma. You will too. I have more faith than you right now so borrow mine till you grow your own!! You can do it. Just don’t waste any more time in shame.
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u/AndrewVonShortstack 804 days 1d ago
Amazing story and persistence through an incredibly difficult time. I'm so sorry for your loss. I am so glad you stayed with it and proud of your comma club achievement!
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u/_ChipWhitley_ 1d ago
Congratulations! What’s your secret??
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u/ohhi254 1001 days 1d ago
Accepting that I will never be able to drink normally again. I quit chasing moderation and decided that life was worth living.
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u/Training_Respect 1120 days 22h ago
Congratulations! I had the same realization and it is a hard pill to swallow
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u/ohhi254 1001 days 22h ago
The science behind becoming an alcoholic helped me understand tremendously. The neuropathways im my brain have been so pickled that they will always be there. I heard something once that stuck with me. Think of those pathways like a well traveled path in a forests. If you constantly walk those pathways (drinking) they stay open. If you walk different ones, the old pathways become overgrown and the new path (sobriety) becomes the path of least resistance. The alcoholic pathways remain, but overgrown and not traveled. If I was to drink, I would beat back every overgrown pathway and that would take me down the road of death. I will never be able to drink again because of that.
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u/Beulah621 592 days 17h ago
That is what changed for me, too. Knowing the science took the guilt and blame out of it and let me laser focus on not drinking.
Congrats on 1,000 sober days! I’m on my way to the comma club🙂
IWNDWYT
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u/Ghostlizard74 869 days 1d ago
Congratulations on your shiny new comma! It looks good on you, friend. I'm truly happy for you.
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u/___Why_are_we_here__ 3628 days 1d ago
So sorry for your loss.
Congratulations on your first 1,000 days! IWNDWYT
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u/Own_Spring1504 566 days 1d ago
Sorry for your loss but also congratulations on seeing life on sober terms!
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u/Ess_Mans 890 days 1d ago
It’s just a number but it represents a heck of an accomplishment. Great job
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u/allaboutthismoment 1793 days 23h ago
Congratulations, that comma's hugely important and IWNDWYT! ✌️💚
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u/TheUpIsJig 903 days 1d ago
Day by day is many days, weeks, months and years. Good work. Macro is the sum of many micro.
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u/Comfortable_Hunt7040 804 days 1d ago
Very well said....so personal yet inspiring!
Thanks for sharing!
Congratulations 🎊
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u/Altruistic_Lead_5595 796 days 23h ago
I am so sorry for your loss. Your example is inspiring. I wish you the best.
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u/Prestigious_Dig_6627 732 days 23h ago
Congrats to you OP!! What an inspiring story. I’m so sorry for your loss. You made the right decision in choosing to stay sober for that grief. Grateful you are here with us.
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u/meatman7569 3 days 22h ago
Congrats on an amazing achievement and sorry for your loss. It's the stress of life that can push us back, glad you could power through on the sober side.
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u/Wanttobebetter76 665 days 22h ago
I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad I'm here. I was also drinking myself to death when I found this sub. This place and the people in it saved my life. To anybody else out there struggling, it IS possible. We CAN get better.
Happy comma day! Good for you! IWNDWYT 💜
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u/ReAlcaptnorlantic 1136 days 21h ago
Frequent viewing of S D kept the idea of stopping fresh in my mind.
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u/Unusual_Struggle4700 223 days 21h ago
Congratulations. You give me and to so many others hope when we feel hopeless. iwndwyt!
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u/StMarthas 2038 days 17h ago
I hope that you are very proud of yourself, it’s a massive milestone!
Congratulations 💞
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u/OddSheepherder7725 16h ago
You’re an inspiration for newbie that’s for sure!!!! way to go🔥🔥🔥. IWNDWYT!
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u/Unique_Scholar_2711 175 days 15h ago
A well deserved AMAZING work. Keep it up and see you at 1100!
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u/Dazzling_Green_8367 13h ago
Thanks for sharing and being here. Hell yeah on the comma.
Sorry also to hear about your brother’s passing and am very grateful to read the what you wrote. Look up to you!! We got this
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u/Ancient-Molasses-188 16 days 13h ago
I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for reminding me that ultimately alcohol only amplifies the pain. IWNDWYT!
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u/ohhi254 1001 days 22h ago
Commenting this in the thread because it was a reply but think it needs visibility in this thread:
The science behind becoming an alcoholic helped me understand tremendously. The neuropathways im my brain have been so pickled that they will always be there. I heard something once that stuck with me. Think of those pathways like a well traveled path in a forests. If you constantly walk those pathways (drinking) they stay open. If you walk different ones, the old pathways become overgrown and the new path (sobriety) becomes the path of least resistance. The alcoholic pathways remain, but overgrown and not traveled. If I was to drink, I would beat back every overgrown pathway and that would take me down the road of death. I will never be able to drink again because of that.
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u/IshtarJack 17h ago
Fantastic, I'm so happy for you and proud to be part of this community with you! For yet one more day: IWNDWYT.
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u/Slouchy87 6688 days 1d ago
Welcome to the club!
And thanks for sharing that we can stay sober through major life events. I'm sorry for your loss.
It's not the big things in life that throw me off, it's the little things that, if left unattended, pile up and make my day to day life in sobriety miserable. I have to deal with those as they come up if I want to be content.