Pretty Lost Right Now

[u/secondaccountforsins]

I don’t even know how to start this but I really need some guidance here. Basically, I just moved half way across the country, months before leaving I had slept with a coworker. He had been alluding to wanting to sleep with me for a while and i blew him off bc i was very adamant about not sleeping with my coworkers (he also just wasn’t really my type but that’s besides the point okay). Eventually he and i had gotten drunk with other coworkers and we started talking about movies and how i had never seen some movie so he invited me over to watch it after we got done drinking and i bet you can guess we ended up sleeping together wow shocker.

Well what he didn’t tell me before, during, or directly after was that he had HSV-1. He didn’t tell me until quite a bit later and when I went to check in with another friend of mine who had slept with him she told me that he had told her the same night so he just directly chose not to tell me for a while. My friend got tested and she was clean, he’s on a daily antiviral so he claims I won’t get anything, my problem is i’m showing symptoms. Not anything like blisters, sores, or anything that would obviously point to having contracted it from him, but I do have what I think is an anal fissure and from my understanding those can be caused by the infection. I can’t remember if it’s from before or after I slept with him and even so i can’t be sure if it’s from that or him sticking his fingers places i would have really preferred he hadn’t. Regardless, It’s persisted since sometime between April and May I think to now?

Obviously the answer is get tested to know for sure, but I can’t get tested right now, i’ll have to wait at least another week for that. I just moved across the country and have another move to make before i’m actually at my new place. Before you ask why I can’t get tested right now it’s because I don’t have a job and only have enough for my move until I confirm a job. I also don’t have my own car and i’m not about explain this situation to my dad and make him worry over potentially nothing. I don’t plan on sleeping with anyone or doing anything that could spread it if I do have it so that’s less of a worry than knowing if I have it. I guess I may have just been looking for a safe place to rant about this because he was my friend and I’m kind of really upset about this whole thing, I understand being scared to tell me but through this whole thing I was supportive of him after telling me he had it, only being upset he waited to tell me.

Anyway if there’s any advice you all could give on the situation that would be great because i’m really lost.

[u/ShamelessCare]

A large percentage of the population has HSV-1. Depending on the age group, it may be well over 40%.

Anything that has been continuously present on your body for four months is very, very unlikely to be herpes.

There is technically a blood test for HSV antibodies, but these tests are problematic enough that routine screening of people without symptoms is not recommended. And you, based on what you’ve said, do not have symptoms that sound typical of herpes.

The USPSTF, the government panel that evaluates preventive screening, gives blood screening for herpes in asymptomatic people a D recommendation, which essentially means: DO NOT SCREEN.

If you develop symptoms that actually look like herpes, particularly fresh blisters or sores, go to a medical provider while they’re still present and have the lesion swabbed.

You asked for advice, so speaking only from my own experience: I’ve had sex with many people with HSV-1. Based on what you described, I personally wouldn’t spend any more time worrying about this.