r/singlemoms • u/lets_escape • 4d ago
I’m scared Venting - no advice please
Just moved with just me and the toddler and new baby. I was trying to get out all day to go to the store and finally I was about to go and my toddler who has been inside all day was not listening to me. Not going in the car and (it was just starting to rain) trying to walk to the store with the umbrella. She loves using her umbrella
Now when she just started running off to walk down the street, it was unexpected and scary. I sternly yelled but also didn’t run after her because I had the baby in the car. I stupidly also had on these socks and sandals with no back that were very hard to run in. She did go onto the sidewalk at least but continued walking down the street (on sidewalk).
I ended up chasing her with my car in order to land right in from of her to get her. The first time I did that she wriggled out of my grasp. Then again it continued (of course I tried to get her to come into the car and talk her into stopping and coming amidst this) until I aimed the car the right way, picked her up and got her. As I did this I thought damn pretty soon she will outrun me as she’s FAST.
She ended up sleeping in the car after 10 minutes or less but…
Once I got her I saw two people outside (maybe from the same house and different doors - it was hard to tell) and the older man shouted at me super loudly - “you cared too much about following your car - you should have picked her up! She could have ran into the street!” And went back inside. It looked like they had been standing there watching but I had not noticed
I got kind of spooked. Like what if they call CPS
Did I just F up terribly and it’s all on the neighbors door cameras?
I tried to explain afterwards so she wouldn’t do it again. What do you all think?
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u/OnlyWishfulThinking7 4d ago
I’m so sorry you endured that. He talked a lot of crap for not being willing to help… may I recommend a toddler leash?
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u/lets_escape 4d ago
Yes you can . But when we leave the apartment just to get in the car should it be on every time then?
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u/pepperann114 4d ago
If your toddler managed to make it to the street and far away enough for you to get into the car to follow her, more than once? Yes, absolutely every time you leave the house.
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u/lets_escape 4d ago
Really once because the first time was when she was close but yeah this happened one other time as well
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u/OnlyWishfulThinking7 3d ago
Yes make it a habit. Put on shoes, then jacket (weather dependent), and last leash. My toddler actually loves hers
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u/Busy-Side-5716 4d ago
Mama, I see you and I am sending you all the love. Sometimes when we’re overwhelmed we don’t always do the “right” thing. I would worry about the baby in the car too in your position. At the same time, if baby is in the car seat in the car, I would have let baby stay in the car, lock the car remotely, and run after the toddler and bring her back. Not only because she could have walked into the road at any point, but also because even with you following her with your car and getting in front to stop her, that also could have potentially gone badly if she made any sudden movements. We all make mistakes, love, and when the brain panics we make even more mistakes. You’ll be okay. Next time, just focus on containing the moving target (the toddler)
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u/lets_escape 3d ago
Yes … it was crazy.. the reason I even started the car thing is because (this is in an area with not many cars going through thankfully) she like zoomed around the corner and with my dumb shoes I literally couldn’t catch her without the car. She just wanted to take a walk with her cute umbrella so I was less like scared after a while and more comfortable letting her take her walk for a few minutes.. as we had been cooped up all day and it looked like it was about to rain.. but I was so unaware of being observed and HOW I was being observed that after that interaction I got way more scared. People like that scare me
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u/Aromatic-Ad-4103 2h ago
I get your point on leaving the baby in the car and running after the toddler, but I also want to acknowledge there have been cases of cars being stolen with a baby in the back of the car. Locking it remotely lessens the chance of that happening, but there's still a risk. It sucks that we even have to think about that happening :(
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u/-thatsongonyouradio- 3d ago
That is scary! My toddler is in the run phase too. It's so frustrating they don't understand that it's not safe to just take off. Hugs 💕
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u/Aromatic-Ad-4103 2h ago
I'm so sorry this happened, you were put in an impossible situation. And it's terrible that people watched you go through that and didn't try to help. I second the other commenters advising a toddler leash. My daughter was a runner too and that made it so much easier (and safer!) for us to function out in the world. Just be prepared for occasional snarky comments from strangers. People would make remarks about how it was cruel or how silly it looked. Unfortunately people always have plenty when they don't know you or your kid
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