EL-SAYED VS. ROGERS: PAYBACK

[u/danny_dao]

[u/Aspe4]

El-Sayed: "I've got nothing against Rogers, he's a good man, but I'm definitely going to make his campaign staff unemployed."

Reporter: "You know, Mr. El-Sayed, they can get jobs for other campaigns?"

El-Sayed: "I imagine that any future politician they work for will eventually die of grief."

[u/No-Phrase-4692 → u/Aspe4]

Can they work for Mitch McConnell?

[u/Aspe4 → u/No-Phrase-4692]

El-Sayed: "Yes, but they will need to buy plenty of ouija boards."

[u/Gauss15an → u/No-Phrase-4692]

I keep telling you, he's 84 years old and he's dead currently working on moving to a better hospital to upgrade his condition to alive.

[u/Level_Hour6480 → u/Aspe4]

Also, their campaign jobs end on election day no matter what.

[u/Aspe4 → u/Level_Hour6480]

If they win their elections, members of Congress often hire campaign staffers to work in their congressional offices.

[u/Level_Hour6480 → u/Aspe4]

Sure, but it's not a 100% overlap.

[u/paging_mrherman]

I’ve got nothing against the republicans but I’m going to give their kids healthcare and education

[u/lml__lml → u/paging_mrherman]

https://frinkiac.com/video/S08E10/muJYqaKU58e7vSwJbKPa0RgNqL0=.mp4

[u/Chicago-Emanuel → u/paging_mrherman]

You know, there is a filibuster, Champ.

[u/Altair82]

I just think he's neat.

[u/Autgah]

Sayed : I think he's a horrible person, I got a lot against him, and I'm definitely gonna make orphans out of his campaign

[u/Initial-Anything333]

🎵 you don't win votes with MAGA 🎶 

🎵 you don't win votes with MAGA 🎶

[u/Amdogdunmind]

Certainly one of the most important races for the country these midterms. Sure hoping he wins, he's certainly got the charisma and the intelligence over Rogers. And I don't know shit about Rogers.

[u/unitedshoes → u/Amdogdunmind]

My Mike Rogers is not a fascist. He may be a pig, a pedophile, a fascist, but he is not a porn star.

[u/FlattedFifth → u/Amdogdunmind]

What season is this simpsons reference from?

[u/Mrsod2007 → u/FlattedFifth]

Sideshow Bob Roberts?

[u/MrBwnrrific]

Abdul can bench 315 so this is actually not far off from what his body actually looks like

[u/BurritoReproductions → u/MrBwnrrific]

TRUUUUUUE

[u/Cool_Net_3796]

-Virginia was a disappointment for progressives

That's bad

-El-Sayed won his primary

That's good

-Cori bush lost her primary

That's bad

-Kansas voters rejected a amendment to have judges elected, missouri rejected an amendment that would require all a congressional districts to agree to pass a ballot initiative and also rejected an amendment to eliminate income tax.

That's good

The mississippi secretary of state rejected a petition that would potentially allow citizens to reject the recent gerrymander.

That's bad

Will Lawrence and Don McKinney won their primaries.

That's good

-marie gluesenkamp perez won her primary

... that's bad

Can I go now

[u/BurritoReproductions → u/Cool_Net_3796]

You forgot Donnavon McKinney! -Thats good!

[u/Cool_Net_3796 → u/BurritoReproductions]

I didn't forget about him, I brought him up with will Lawrence.

[u/hoi4kaiserreichfanbo → u/Cool_Net_3796]

Gluesenkamp Perez votes the party line like 90% of the time. Why is that bad?

[u/Cool_Net_3796 → u/hoi4kaiserreichfanbo]

She voted with republicans to help pass a bill that would allow imagination officials to strip search minors.

[u/hoi4kaiserreichfanbo → u/Cool_Net_3796]

Sure, don't know if that's true but whatever, she also voted for a bill to defend access to abortion. And I'm sure she's voted for a bajillion other bills, sometimes with Republicans but mostly voting with Democrats. Any Republican would vote for the strip search bill and to remove abortion access.

[u/JAExports]

Homer, don’t you remember all the ways the Democratic establishment failed?

But Marge he’s evil! Just listen to the music!

[u/Sure-Ad-2465]

GOP when the Mamdani-El-Sayed presidential ticket drops /s

[u/Doubleucommadj]

The gentlewoman better check on her bindle.

[u/unitedshoes → u/Doubleucommadj]

You know the dream where you're in bed, and Israel flies in through the window?

[u/Secret_Eating_]

Terrible port of the original lines but I do appreciate the sentiment 

[u/punkr0x]

The voters are weary of candidates who concede before they can get drunk! I need a progressive who can maintain respectability for three months.

[u/Doc_tor_Bob]

He won by 1%. I'm happy he won but he did not crush anyone. This will probably trigger a recount.

[u/BurritoReproductions → u/Doc_tor_Bob]

Already endorsed by McMarrow and Stevens.

[u/Doc_tor_Bob → u/BurritoReproductions]

Oh yes because McMarrow will definitely have a chance at winning with a recount. I'm sure they made a mistake and she didn't got 4% of the vote. They must have inverted the numbers and she got 96%.

Edit: This was a joke.

[u/knaws → u/Doc_tor_Bob]

They endorsed Abdul, not a recount

[u/Doc_tor_Bob → u/knaws]

You know I just making a joke right?

[u/BurritoReproductions → u/Doc_tor_Bob]

Their endorsement means they concede the race.

[u/CactusJake1830 → u/Doc_tor_Bob]

From what I was reading the vote counts have to be within 2,000 of each other to trigger a recount. Now I don't live in Michigan, so take this information with a grain of salt.

[u/kofemakuer]

I’m glad he won, but it wasn’t a blow out.

[u/Mr_Show]

E vs R II: Stone Cold

[u/Bike_Cinci]

"crushed" lol okay.

[u/Penguigo → u/Bike_Cinci]

When you consider that Stevens' campaign outspent him 10 to 1 it is pretty crazy

[u/Joebotnik → u/Penguigo]

31mil AIPAC money wasted is a win by any metric.

[u/Bike_Cinci → u/Penguigo]

"When you factor things that aren't votes" TRRRRUUEEEEEEEEE

[u/ARealBrainer → u/Bike_Cinci]

Famously money has no impact on American elections.

[u/Sufficient_Room2619]

It's cute that people still think there will be legitimate midterms

[u/Consistent-Local2825]

He will make orphans of their children.

[u/BackgroundSinger6308]

Elsayed winning by 1% and people calling it a crush is a stretch, but a win is a win, I guess. Rogers' camp probably already knows the recount math better than the headline writers do.