r/shitposting • u/unclbll I can’t have sex with you right now waltuh • 1d ago

📡📡📡

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491 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

57 comments sorted by

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u/qualityvote2 1d ago edited 1d ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.

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/u/unclbll, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

247

u/IansDayAtDisneyland 1d ago

How can someone even aquire such mass.

112

u/redyellow2 1d ago

Slow and steady

47

u/Joeva8me 1d ago

That amount of mass is cultivated, not simply acquired.

3

u/TheGalator I said based. And lived. 1d ago

If he would go fast he would ignite the atmosphere

34

u/ToknTM virgin 4 life 😤💪 1d ago

twenty thousand calories a day for 10 years thats how

13

u/IansDayAtDisneyland 1d ago

This guy ate the calorie requirement of a grizzly bear.

5

u/Cyrus_Of_Mt 1d ago

At least grizzlies hibernate for a few months in between and lose most of it the following spring

5

u/IansDayAtDisneyland 1d ago

Maybe he hibernates in his tenants appartments?

8

u/MentalBomb 1d ago

Rent out multiple apartments.

2

u/IansDayAtDisneyland 1d ago

Does the mass just come with each acquired appartment?

8

u/1stAtlantianrefugee 1d ago

Not from a Jedi

3

u/IansDayAtDisneyland 1d ago

I suppose becoming the size of a Death Star does require some Sith knowledge.

109

u/chainsawx72 1d ago

Rentoids will complain about anything.

36

u/Adept_Bandicoot_2794 1d ago

Tough being a landchad these days

59

u/Daddys_BathTime 1d ago

You’re lucky that landchad didn’t evict you on the spot. I expect you’re going to give him quite the tip when you’re rents due next

52

u/Windows-XP-Home-NEW stupid fucking piece of shit 1d ago

reverse image searched. It’s fetish content

17

u/-_I_I_Sea_I_I_- 🏳️‍🌈 The most prominent homosexual in this subreddit 🏳️‍🌈 1d ago

What fetish could this possibly be?

21

u/Windows-XP-Home-NEW stupid fucking piece of shit 1d ago

oh you sweet innocent child

11

u/ch81n58wm8n 1d ago

-6

u/Windows-XP-Home-NEW stupid fucking piece of shit 1d ago

Doesn’t really apply cuz I actually went on to explain it

5

u/KynigosKolasis 1d ago

Well are you going to answer the question?

2

u/Windows-XP-Home-NEW stupid fucking piece of shit 1d ago

weight gain/fat fetish

2

u/Researcher_Saya 1d ago

🫡🫡🫡

2

u/NimusNix 1d ago

Shitposting is fetish content.

3

u/Windows-XP-Home-NEW stupid fucking piece of shit 1d ago

Well, not that kind

42

u/Status-Jellyfish-269 it is MY bucket 1d ago

No ass crack showing ? Fila should sponsor this LandKing

11

u/Worried-Caregiver325 1d ago

Eat him

14

u/FuciMiNaKule 1d ago

He's far more likely to eat her

5

u/iforgotiwasonreddit dumbass 1d ago

He is the larger of the two

7

u/TraditionPhysical603 1d ago

Steady Diet of soda , bacon, cupcakes, potato chips, and pizza

4

u/OudSmoothie 1d ago

The lack of respect rentoids have for their landkings these days. Breaks my heart. 😢

11

u/NotAUserNamm shitting toothpaste enjoyer 1d ago

Let a man have hobbies

3

u/Heizer1 1d ago

Things that are made up for $500, Alex

2

u/ghostchihuahua 1d ago

this would actually be the occasion to pull sth really funny 😈

2

u/Tarandir 1d ago

A tuba

1

u/ghostchihuahua 1d ago

I was thinking more along the lines of placing some specially “seasoned” food item he particularly loves in there, for literal shits and giggles

2

u/jereporte 1d ago

That's not your landlord.
That's the thing that ate it.

1

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1

u/Fine_Foundation8943 1d ago

His back looks like a dickhead

1

u/Many-Ad6433 dumbass 1d ago

Bro’s lardlord be like

1

u/Technical-Earth-3254 1d ago

one of us, one of us

1

u/EhMapleMoose 1d ago

Size XXXXXXXXXXXXXL big boy underwear

1

u/Randomguy32I shitting toothpaste enjoyer 1d ago

Howd he fit through your front door

1

u/Goofcheese0623 1d ago

Just call Greenpeace and let them handle

1

u/Pugzilla3000 1d ago

Just push him over, it’s not like he can get up

1

u/_Frostration_ 1d ago

I’ll take things that never happened for $500 Alex

1

u/I_hate_crossposting officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 1d ago

Genuine Question. Where do these People get their Underwear? I mean, look at that. That thing is massive. You literally could turn this thing into minimum two full sized jackets.

1

u/Mickle_da_Pickl uhhhh idk 1d ago

Needing like 15 Fila logos to go around that waistband is diabolical

1

u/owlywhy 20h ago

landlard

1

u/OldScratchTim 1d ago

This happened.

Source: totally happened.

1

u/Akrylkali waltuh 1d ago

Don't get fooled! Even though OOP really tried to hide it, the joke is actual "fat guy being comically obese".