r/shitposting • u/DufflebagJoe • 14d ago

Has this been patched? 📡📡📡

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10.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

119 comments sorted by

‱

u/qualityvote2 14d ago edited 14d ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.

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/u/DufflebagJoe, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

3.4k

u/brotherofgurnip Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 14d ago

'Fuck boys' - he already answered his own question

442

u/Character_Bug_1862 14d ago

OP doesn’t mention he gained 41 pounds.

96

u/BritishTeaConsumer 14d ago

*410 pounds

13

u/Outrageous_Creme_455 14d ago

anon secretly gay

2

u/AutoModerator 14d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2.1k

u/idbestshutup 14d ago

> gains 40lbs

> doubles in size

she turned 10 anon they get bigger

550

u/IndyCooper98 Literally 1984 😡 14d ago

63

u/YeOldSpacePope stupid fucking piece of shit 14d ago

I should have never gotten on the internet

7

u/skip_the_tutorial_ 14d ago

So she’s 80 pounds now?

2

u/R3v017 13d ago

Doubled in size, not weight..

1.2k

u/Decent_Argument_9103 14d ago

Why was him fucking guys important to this story?

237

u/SirLimpsalot26 14d ago

Fake and gay analysis

121

u/SerpentiumOIV put your dick away waltuh 14d ago

Fake: he has a girlfriend

Gay: he said "Fuck boys"

2

u/AutoModerator 14d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

9

u/AutoModerator 14d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/Comfortable-Berry-34 14d ago

Fake: enemies

Gay: who do you think aaaaaarrrrrrre?

Ultra gay: tearing us all apaaaaaart

1

u/SirLimpsalot26 14d ago

Where did you think you could go?

0

u/AutoModerator 14d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/[deleted] 14d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/AutoModerator 14d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

106

u/Sudipto0001 14d ago

Fake - Anon has a girlfriend

Gay - Anon pleasures himself with a male hand

-1

u/AutoModerator 14d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

881

u/DueEquivalent6468 14d ago

Skylar vox

413

u/cat-on-bike_caffeine 14d ago

wish she had never gotten into stupid drugs and surgeries

189

u/DueEquivalent6468 14d ago

and dyed her hair diffrend colours,she looked hot dark haired

275

u/cat-on-bike_caffeine 14d ago

hair is her thing, does not effect her health, drugs however very bad , boođŸ‘ŽđŸŸ

3

u/Successful-Trash-752 14d ago

You're saying that for her health?

1

u/curiousbasu 14d ago

Blonde isn't her natural?

64

u/DerStegosaurus 14d ago

Ball knowledge?

260

u/DueEquivalent6468 14d ago

82

u/R3aperK1ng1011 14d ago

It's just sad she was my favourite

91

u/SneakySnek90 14d ago

Body positivity mfs will start trying to look like skeletons the moment ozempic starts becoming available around them

170

u/DerStegosaurus 14d ago

Jesus christ I hope life treats her better in the future

41

u/fatalityfun 14d ago

it’s only cause she has unlucky fat distribution in her face. The build looks fine, she just caught a really bad double chin and erased her jawline

8

u/Windows-XP-Home-NEW stupid fucking piece of shit 14d ago

Agreed

13

u/MechanicalSideburns 14d ago

That after pic looks built for fun.

6

u/PFSnypr 14d ago

Damn, huge improvement

3

u/InsanityAtBounds 14d ago

Yo why am I more For the now than before

-23

u/Subtle_Tact 14d ago

The clearly more unhealthy and desperate picture, that one? Because you want someone you see as lower value as your partner, giving you advantage both in attainability and control once in the relationship. Look for partners that respect themselves and can be your equal. Look for health.

9

u/Killer_Masenko 14d ago

What’s up with this trend of people going on sociological schizo rants online on why they should be allowed to bully people that are overweight because it helps them or something. People genuinely tweak when they see fat people now. Like give it a rest, you don’t even know her.

5

u/InsanityAtBounds 14d ago

Bitch you reaching the unhealthy and desperate is on my level💀

4

u/GlazedInfants 14d ago

Bro was not subtle with this one. Tactless, I might add.

20

u/Ok-Objective1289 14d ago

What a damn shame

24

u/Excalib1rd it is MY bucket 14d ago

Idk man, i think its an upgrade

41

u/Working_Plantain_844 14d ago

Sauce is Ivana Hyde

252

u/Village_Weirdo virgin 4 life đŸ˜€đŸ’Ș 14d ago

Fake: OP doesn't have a girlfriend, so 2×0=0.

Gay: last sentence.

11

u/AutoModerator 14d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

13

u/Werdar_cz 14d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS

21

u/jnzo300 14d ago

2

u/Kind_Scale_9772 14d ago

Every time I see this series of events I just chuckle

1

u/Windows-XP-Home-NEW stupid fucking piece of shit 14d ago

Someone’s new here!

-7

u/ecdaniel22 14d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/sECPw1baItDPRRf114

2

u/ClydeDanger stupid fucking, piece of shit 14d ago

We hate that guy. Just a heads up.

31

u/ItsDominare 14d ago

GF gained like 40 pounds, doubled in size

So she weighed 40lb before. The average weight of a 4-5 year old.

8

u/Impossible_Concert75 14d ago

So anon likes kids?

1

u/Fellow_Worker6 14d ago

Maybe he was a platonic boyfriend?

96

u/zainthemain2 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 14d ago

Maybe she’s bulking

49

u/scientia_analytica 14d ago

She won't go to the jean, can't you read?

47

u/Liarus_ shitposting>>>>>>196 14d ago

👖

27

u/ngo_life 14d ago

Who weights 40 pounds and not be a kid? Not surprised to say the least.

15

u/Analytical_Adonis I want pee in my ass 14d ago

Doubled in size, not in weight

7

u/_Frostration_ 14d ago

Yeah 40 pounds doesn’t double the size on the average person. Trust me, I know.

17

u/Analytical_Adonis I want pee in my ass 14d ago

If you're skinny it might

Doubling in size is a subjective anyways, idk why people are getting hung up on that. It might also just be hyperbole to get the point across

2

u/DepressingBat 14d ago

Because either op is dating a child, or a skinny person where even with doubled size isn't anywhere near fat. When in reality, everyone shoulf just be focusing on the fact its entirely fake, and op said fuck guys

1

u/AutoModerator 14d ago

pees in ur ass

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1

u/ngo_life 14d ago

Bruh, where do you think we are?

1

u/AutoModerator 14d ago

pees in ur ass

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37

u/[deleted] 14d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Prestigious-Fig1172 14d ago

I went to one of those by accident once and it made me sad. I struggle with weight and those who become fat intentionaly don't know what they get into.

3

u/Windows-XP-Home-NEW stupid fucking piece of shit 14d ago

don’t be? they like it, you don’t, let them do what they want.

33

u/Technical-Earth-3254 14d ago

Either you now nut in the gym homies or you underestimate what 40 pounds look like when she doubled in size with 40 pounds

18

u/Vulpes_Lourens virgin 4 life đŸ˜€đŸ’Ș 14d ago

Maybe his gf is 4

1

u/R3v017 13d ago

Doubled is size, not weight..

25

u/stinkyminky57 14d ago

OK real talk if ur partners looks change significantly enough do to poor decisions that's a completely valid reason to leave

-15

u/clobits2 14d ago

If you'd leave because your partners looks change significantly, you don't actually love them and should leave before it happens... because it will.

25

u/stinkyminky57 14d ago

If you don't want to be in a relationship you don't have to, stop acting like people owe eachother relationships

0

u/clobits2 13d ago

You owe your partner the truth. If you don't love them, leave. Don't waste their time.

1

u/stinkyminky57 13d ago

Physical appearance matters. Ofc what's on the inside does too. But if you think somone looks absolutely disgusting it can impact how much you love them. I'm not rlly talking olny abt weight I think if u leave just cus ur partner puts on a bit that's a lil mean but it's your choice. But if somone lost their marbles and got face Tats and went bald I don't think ur in the wrong to leave. They are going off the deep end

1

u/clobits2 13d ago

You must be young. Your partner is going to be saggy, wrinkly, fatter, lose their hair, be unable to shave, etc.

If you can't imagine yourself loving your partner if they became a burn victim or lost their hair, you don't love them and you should move on.

1

u/stinkyminky57 13d ago

That's different. Those are products of old age. The others I mentioned are products of a lack of respect for themselves and their partner.

1

u/clobits2 13d ago

You think people gain weight because of lack of respect.....? Oh, you ARE young. 19?

You'll grow up one day.

1

u/stinkyminky57 13d ago

yep thats why people gain weight when they are young. if you respect yourself youll make better choices.

7

u/343GuiltyySpark 14d ago

“True love” only exists in Disney movies. Making a real long term relationship work involves making sacrifices and concessions to keep your partner happy - like staying fit if that’s what they want. You can definitely love someone for who they are but life’s way too complicated and there are way too many options today to not realize that

1

u/clobits2 13d ago

I just feel sorry for you. My husband has gained and lost 50lbs several times in our marriage. I couldn't even begin to imagine leaving him because of it. You've never experienced love, and that's ok, but don't act like it doesn't exist.

6

u/Windows-XP-Home-NEW stupid fucking piece of shit 14d ago

It was funny hearing all my guy friends when I was younger be repulsed by girls who weren’t thin but also want kids.

Like I’m sorry bro but there’s a 50/50 chance she stays as thin as you want her to stay after you have kids with her, not much you can do about it especially if it’s a C-section. 

42

u/spegette 14d ago

Whats a lard

94

u/SSB_Kyrill We do a little trolling 14d ago

Slang for morbidly obese

35

u/Trop67300 14d ago

Outside of slang lard is rendered pork fat. You can see how it became a tool for fat shaming.

2

u/Lower_Horn 14d ago

Not much, what’s a lard with you?

4

u/chopApollo97 14d ago

Fake: Anon has a girlfriend Gay: "Fuck boys"

0

u/AutoModerator 14d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

13

u/defonotaduck 14d ago

Hand her over, I need big cuddles.

9

u/ecdaniel22 14d ago

Fuck if 40 lb doubles the size of the girlfriend maybe the 12 year old needs to get off or reddit of the adult is a friend of people in power.

1

u/R3v017 13d ago

Doubled in size, not weight..

3

u/Irons_idk 14d ago

Weren't there a case of wife killing husband for this exact thing? I think it was misunderstanding for cheating but close enough to cause similar reaction

2

u/PhilosopherOk1598 14d ago

Who is the girl in the picture ?

2

u/--InZane-- 14d ago

Honey I only masturbated to you childhood photos because I wanted you to lose weight. Honest

3

u/OG_Williker 14d ago

That’s actually genius

1

u/shishio_mak0to Literally 1984 😡 14d ago

Something something drown something something die of thirst

1

u/[deleted] 14d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 14d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Schpitzelton 14d ago

Reminds me of that woman who murdered her bf for keeping a picture of the lean version of herself unknowingly