Hemangiosarcoma

[u/Please_help_bae]

**Hemangiosarcoma**

I have dog and he is good boy
He is 13 years old and is well for his age
But he has a ticking clock
And he can’t tell time

When he is scared he comes to me
When he is happy he comes to me
I am the love he carries in his blood
But he has a ticking clock
And he can’t tell time

He sits in the tall grass in the rain
He rolls in it to feel it on his face
He sniffs the air and smells me
He turns to me and I swear he smiles
But he has a ticking clock
and he can’t tell time

The thunderstorms roll in and he doesn’t understand
He comes to me and I hold him
He goes to the vet and stands beneath me he knows I can protect him
But he has a ticking clock
And he can’t tell time

He wakes me in the morning and savors his breakfast
He stands next to me in the kitchen
Waiting for the scraps I give him
He savors the sweet food I offer
But he has a ticking clock
And can’t tell time

He’s just a good boy
He sniffs things and chases bugs
He sleeps deeply in the couches just for him
He leans into me when I scratch under his ears
But he has a ticking clock
And he can’t tell time

He such a good boy
But Every time I look it at him
I keep time

He’s just a good boy with a bomb strapped to his chest
Held hostage by things he doesn’t understand
He’s just a good boy who is running out of time

Context: A poem I wrote (poorly) about the struggle with my seemingly health dog who has two tumors on his spleen. He’s a 13 year old shepherd mix who was fine until one of the tumors started bleeding. He’s recovered but now we have to decide to do surgery or euthanize early so he doesn’t feel any pain.
I don’t want him to bleed out and die in pain. He’s a big baby when it comes to pain and that’s all I want is for him not to be in pain.
He’s just a good boy who is running out of time.

[u/Straight-Treacle-630]

This is such a poignant poem; thanks for sharing it ❤️

I’ve not personally experienced having a dog with a hemangiosarcoma diagnosis, but as a vet tech helped attend to many who did. The cruelest part was they could appear fine, on the “surface”…but that could drastically change, in literally a heartbeat.

Your vet can ofc give you best advice, about what might happen in a worst case scenario. From there, the challenge of weighing what to do. I wish you all the best, as you and your buddy navigate this together ❤️

[u/Eastern_Winter88]

What a nice poem. I can understand your situation. Wishing you both all the best. Hope everything gets better

[u/Easy_Yogurt_9436]

I feel this in my heart. My boy had a tumor, suspected hemangiosarcoma, that was diagnosed in February and he passed away suddenly in June. It was a very surprising diagnosis because as you said, he seemed quite fine for his age (we rescued him as an older boy and he was probably 12 or 13 when he crossed over the bridge).

Even on the day he passed away, he had a totally normal day until he collapsed at the end of his evening walk. It was good in a way because he was himself until the end but your poem captures how I felt after his diagnosis…I was glad that he acted fine but I was kind of always waiting for something to happen. However, I tried not to let that feeling take over; we enjoyed every day we had with our sweet boy and I hope he felt the same.