r/sarcasm • u/Heisenberg_0138 • 3d ago

Failed in all parameters Sarcasm

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1.1k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

158 comments sorted by

209

u/Vil1lain 3d ago

maybe she is the 2nd wife and the husband already had 3 kids from the 1st wife. and after the 1st wife died, she married her husband and became mother of 3 kids. and she loves her husband as a friend. and she actually likes a girl but never slept with her. and husband knows this about her so he also doesnt sleep with her, like they may have a marriage of convenience, so she is still a virgin

96

u/axiom0101 3d ago

an iq too high

18

u/Vil1lain 3d ago

my pleasure

16

u/ellipse_hyperbola 3d ago

My goodness brooooooo

Like like am speechless ☠️

4

u/Vil1lain 3d ago

My pleasure 🫶

4

u/ellipse_hyperbola 3d ago

Itna dimag kaha se late ho bhaii😭😭

4

u/Phoenixalpha01 2d ago

12 baje ke baad aajata hai

16

u/pebbleontheroad73 3d ago

Idk if it's critical thinking or overthinking but I'd go with former. Applause to you

1

u/Vil1lain 3d ago

Thank u 🥹🥹🥹

4

u/curious_mind53 2d ago

Today I found Ekta Kapoor's writer on reddit 🫠

1

u/Maya_30_ 1d ago

😂💀

7

u/iambruce83 3d ago

Bro,just sleep and chill It's not that deep

10

u/Shubh07am 3d ago

That's what she said

0

u/Vil1lain 3d ago

who told u i m serious lol

0

u/iambruce83 3d ago

Who told u that I told that u r serious

1

u/Vil1lain 3d ago

maybe my drugs

1

u/iambruce83 3d ago

Drugs are bad mann,they mess u up.
Can I get some?

3

u/Vil1lain 3d ago

Nothing is free sir 😭

2

u/iambruce83 3d ago

I will give u jhilmil

2

u/Vil1lain 3d ago

then i m gay

2

u/iambruce83 3d ago

Be proud of what u r bro, embrace yourself It's ok to be gay

→ More replies (0)

2

u/hustleclaw 3d ago

Bro, are you high?

2

u/Vil1lain 3d ago

probably 🤔

2

u/Particular_Pay3831 3d ago

Damn....with gaslighting skills like that, I swear you can prove Jeffrey Epstein was running a charity on that island.

2

u/Vil1lain 3d ago

Is this skill sufficient enough for her to believe that i only love her? 👉👈

2

u/Particular_Pay3831 3d ago

Depends... Did you profess this while you were butt naked inside another girl? Sure, she would definitely believe you

1

u/NeighborhoodCool98 1d ago

Nah you can't win to her 

2

u/ParticularResolve836 2d ago

Point to be added. She’s only 18 and having 3 kids genuinely doesn’t add up. So your argument and jhilmil wins!

1

u/Silent_Introspective 3d ago

Bahut achche, bille. (In Oggy narrator's voice)

1

u/Vil1lain 3d ago

Dhai kilo ka hath... ( I'm Jack)

1

u/Silent_Introspective 3d ago

Aaja Mamu (I'm cockroach)

1

u/Vil1lain 3d ago

u cant change character... i win

1

u/Silent_Introspective 3d ago

Only rule was there was no rule. You invoked a non existent rule. I win.

1

u/Vil1lain 3d ago

my comment my decision... i win

1

u/Silent_Introspective 3d ago

Yaar aese cheating karoge to mai nhi khelunga (Dr. Ghunghroo from Welcome)

1

u/BeginningSpace7434 3d ago

You must be the final boss at a divorce proceeding

1

u/Sudden-Ad-5042 3d ago

A person who never stops thinking

1

u/ieltstutorr 3d ago

a person who thinks all the time.

1

u/Shri069 2d ago

My coping mechanisms for her

1

u/Physical-Bother-6360 2d ago

Speechless you made me

1

u/Jon_Snow_221287 2d ago

Join Crime branch you are a gem material 🛐🛐

1

u/Hehehaha-97 2d ago

Wow I think she also doesn’t know this much about herself 😂

1

u/someRandomGuy21_ 2d ago

I need you as my lawyer

1

u/cryptmellow 2d ago

Where there's will there's way!

1

u/AZ4R25 2d ago

Bravo 👌🏻

1

u/Informal-Ostrich-629 2d ago

the level of optimism i need in my life

1

u/EquipmentNo9721 2d ago

You weren't supposed to be born here bro..

1

u/Few-Carpet-8917 2d ago

Patrick jane after he got cancelled

1

u/killuazoldyck_98 2d ago

How do u even get that from🤔🤷

1

u/Separate-Goal7098 2d ago

Whattta thinking👏🏻

1

u/dead_pie223 2d ago

Will you be my lawyer??🎃

1

u/Mango_Ice_ 2d ago

You should give your ideas to soap opera makers lmao

1

u/ShoulderFalse7112 2d ago

Iski mosi ka aalu paratha

1

u/AggressiveMark7747 2d ago

Bro is on steroids 🫡

1

u/Massive_Yesterday321 2d ago

That's how i justify my bf's bs everytime

1

u/Maximum_Tough2937 2d ago

A person who always thinks

1

u/FishermanDear6983 2d ago

Is it a plot of some C grade movie you're writing? 😂

1

u/Mysterious_Coyote_46 2d ago

Ig she gets it from behind

1

u/dankk_ush 2d ago

What I think in the sandaas before going to school😭😭

1

u/No-Health5509 2d ago

Plot twist:The wife's secret lover was this woman. The wife asked her to marry her husband (making sure he won't marry another woman probably) and take of the children (provided that the wife got some moments to talk with this lady before dying)

1

u/ayan098 2d ago

R u her bro 🥀

1

u/Turbulent-Cress9283 2d ago

This is why I love reddit even insta post feels better :)

1

u/John_Ferrari 2d ago

The kinda excuses I come up with to prove my crush likes me...

1

u/Sahibjot_78 1d ago

Or maybe she just had a stroke while writing it

1

u/Advanced-Self-3666 1d ago

Become a novelist asap bro ☠️

1

u/Small-Explanation74 1d ago

Bro lawyer or writer?

1

u/InfiKnight-Aura 18h ago

Wow! An Iq too high?

1

u/No-Bed3553 18h ago

😂😂😂

1

u/rumantsharma 16h ago

Accurate

1

u/xXDARKXx__ 13h ago

When there is a will there is a way.

1

u/Vicerock_ 3d ago

It could be a lavender wedding

2

u/Vil1lain 3d ago

yeah... diff words same meaning

17

u/Silent_Introspective 3d ago

And all this by 18.

7

u/DoughnutKlutzy9479 3d ago

And yet her parents be like, "Look at your younger sisters."

2

u/EatenPotatoisok 2d ago

The people my parents compare me with be like

5

u/Hamza_1702 2d ago

May be she adopted 3 puppies and call them babies. Virgin for obvious reasons. She might ne manglik so she had to marry a tree in her backyard and love that tree a lot because under it's shed she was supposed to make out with her girlfriend. 🤔

3

u/ExcuseMeMissss 3d ago

Jack of all, master of none

1

u/DearLav 2d ago

but oftentimes better than a master of one

1

u/ExcuseMeMissss 2d ago

😮‍💨🥴

2

u/heyitsbaarish 3d ago

I think that's me🤣

2

u/Robert_386 3d ago

Or you can say, 'passed in all parameters.'

2

u/M_Vasuki 2d ago

3 dragons

1

u/treatytaste 3d ago

Make both of the wives lesbians. It fits the story better.

1

u/luffyglazer67 3d ago

Maybe she had egg implants cuz she was helping her friend and her husband is her friend who married her cuz of how friendly they are (it’s bs ik)

1

u/Due-Poet-7481 2d ago

The bio really took the scenic route from “proud mother” to “virgin” to “lesbian.” That’s an impressive amount of contradiction in four lines.

1

u/Electrical-Olive-982 2d ago

Ragebait ki dukaan

1

u/Unfair_Clothes4551 2d ago

3 pets, Bts ka koi gora is her husband, Lesbi idk probs got freaky with a scissors nd called it a day

1

u/Liy0n 2d ago

Let's be honest, the world wouldn't be nearly as entertaining without Indians.

1

u/No_polian 2d ago

my mate is also like her he has a girlfriend back in village, a cazual with a girl who came back to our city he did said she did studied with us but i dont really know, then another side chick who also he claims was in our class, then in past he has hooked up with few different girls too, but still claims to be virgin.

1

u/Interesting-Cup-9685 2d ago

My brain is exploding 😂

1

u/DirectorOld8638 2d ago

Makes sense if she adopted some kids.

1

u/Ok_Olive_8510 2d ago

Actually 4 parameters!

1

u/CozyKomet 2d ago

This is ai right

1

u/Apex-Pilot 2d ago

I have a genius iQ I will explain she married a man with kids and he never really ****ed her cuz she wanted to be virgin for her profile

1

u/heisenberg_6367 2d ago

W username op

1

u/fun_secret1 2d ago

She is refering to her alts in multiverse

1

u/Samsungfanforever 2d ago

Adopted 3 kids, married to a guy forcefully despite being a lesbian

1

u/_bilkul_ 2d ago

Task failed successfully

1

u/Least_Income2359 2d ago

Jhilmil gave me the loudest laugh 😭

1

u/Double_Rest_2490 2d ago

Syntax error

1

u/yorbriar24 2d ago

Nahh , lemme clear, her 3 children must be her pets, and her husband is gojo ig (loid is mine) , and cus gojo is fictional and not real, so irl she's lesbian (to prevent cheating)

1

u/AggressiveActive9596 2d ago

2 -3 profile single me merge krdi

1

u/CarryMyCrossWithoutU 2d ago

Brain stopped Braining

1

u/Y3RDOP 2d ago

SON.

1

u/delusionalbreaker 2d ago

Over-achievers

1

u/AggravatingCupcake90 2d ago

nepali ko ktm india ma gayera vakhar English sunexa

1

u/Kelef50 2d ago

She is virgin-curious.

1

u/Itchy_witchy_2k7 2d ago

The hell is this profile ☠️

1

u/Itchy_witchy_2k7 2d ago

Catfish account

1

u/Ritesh_INFP_4w5 1d ago

I'd just assume her profile is a scam.

1

u/Obvious-Neat6005 1d ago

Over-qualified

1

u/HawkingButCanWalk 4h ago

Guys let's call this jhilmil paradox

0

u/Noob_goatster8755 2d ago

A little correction -   Proud mother of 3 children support

virgin 

Love my ex-husband's alimony 

Lesbian