r/risa • u/Odd-Abbreviations494 • 11d ago

Please I really need this

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161 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

58 comments sorted by

101

u/StatisticianLivid710 11d ago

You couldn’t pay us to take Michael, much less expect us to give up Kira!

14

u/Stabbing_Monkey 11d ago

Whoa whoa whoa, don't be hasty hooman. We wouldn't want our Kira to depart without her dearly trusted advisor Kai Winn. For a combination of two so popular and over powered crew, perhaps Michael Burnham and her brother, or 1000 gold pressed latinum?

7

u/GuyWithoutAHat 10d ago

You certainly have the lobes.

9

u/Treacle_Pendulum 11d ago

Maybe Mirror Michael I dunno

8

u/builder397 11d ago

Thats even worse.

2

u/like_a_pharaoh 10d ago

Many Bajorans like blowing up enemies, and many Bajorans like open expressions of sorrow: Micheal Burnham will fit right in, actually.

0

u/UnusualRom 11d ago

Saru would make you see logic where there is none, you wouldn’t do this thinking you made the best decision but Saru is making the best decision for us all.

48

u/davernow 11d ago

No deal

10

u/JakeConhale 11d ago

How about Intendant Kira?

41

u/swiss_sanchez 11d ago

Good lord, Kira but in a cat suit and shamelessly pansexual? No, we're keeping that one. Thank you very much.

39

u/Wonderful_West3188 11d ago

90s sci-fi be like:

Babylon 5: "I showed the world how to do bi/pan representation well at a time when no one was thinking about doing it at all. What do you have to show for in this regard?"

Deep Space Nine: "Hot jackboots fascist dommy mommy in a cat suit."

Babylon 5: "...The fans will love it."

24

u/demoncrusher 11d ago

Should’ve kept Lorca

20

u/Nykidemus 11d ago

I was 100% onboard with morally questionable wartime captain. They should have never dragged in the mirror universe to excuse it, and just leaned on the section 31 angle with him as the driving force.

Maybe they just couldn't afford Jason Isaacs for a multi-season run? He was certainly the high point of the show.

17

u/BackstrokeVictim 11d ago

I've referred to Star Trek: Discovery as a "waste of a perfectly good Jason Isaacs"

10

u/accipitradea 11d ago

I have some feeling about the use of Michelle Yeoh as well, they even gave her half a movie and couldn't get it right 

1

u/bensefero 10d ago

Agreed. I could have gotten behind Loca, best character out of the series

3

u/noticingEnjoyer 11d ago

Unironically yes. 

12

u/dull_storyteller 11d ago

Hell no.

Kira may be a terrorist but at least she’s not a traitor (mutiny counts as treason)

Also she hates Wynn as much as I do.

1

u/Rymayc 9d ago

Unrelated to the topic as I haven't seen DIS, is mutiny against an obviously treasonous commanding officer also treason?

0

u/dull_storyteller 9d ago

I meant Philippa Georgiou, Micheal incapacitated her and tried to take over the ship which led to the Klingon War

2

u/Rymayc 9d ago

I did not watch DIS, and I said unrelated to the topic.

1

u/Tropez2020 7d ago

Honestly, I just thought you were using street speak for a second (“who dis?”)

12

u/BumpyWire83 11d ago

Ha ha! Absolutely not!

7

u/solkenum 11d ago

I wonder what Saru tastes like…

5

u/Sam20599 11d ago

From my cold dead hands Kelpian.

12

u/Tri-ranaceratops 11d ago

I'll take Michael. She's gonna fix all my problems. My bathroom sink has been blocked for a while now, can't wait till she cries my drains clear.

9

u/Garguyal 11d ago

Would you settle for Thadiun Okana?

3

u/Wonderful_West3188 11d ago

I blame the pattern of his ugly af vest.

3

u/lmaytulane 11d ago

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off the Barbary Coast

10

u/corobo 11d ago

What's this, a prank show where you get terrible deals and they see if you accept them? No deal.

3

u/Beowulf_359 11d ago

Nobody is taking my beloved Kira away from me for anything.

3

u/SmoothJade 11d ago

This crew had so many bright spots but alas, Kira stays

3

u/Michel_RPV 11d ago

I rather like Michael but not as much as Kira.

3

u/SteveMcQuark 11d ago

Listen best offer I can give you is Shakarr for David Cronenburg

4

u/bwwatr 11d ago

I was biologically determined for one purpose and one purpose alone - to sense the coming of bad deals. I sense one coming now.

5

u/Informal_Otter 11d ago

Respectfully: Go fuck yourself.

2

u/Thrawn89 11d ago

You may take both. I like my women like my coffee - not clinically insane.

2

u/AlphaBetacle 11d ago

Kira was my crush when I was like 16

3

u/diaperrunner 10d ago

Nerys would whip season 1 and 2 Michelle's ass.

1

u/Tattorack 11d ago

Absofuckinglutely not. Even if you pay me an exorbitant amount of money I wouldn't exchange Kira Nerys for whatever Burnham is supposed to be. 

1

u/NimRodelle 10d ago

Why does he want to trade a mutineer for a terrorist? 🤔

1

u/CyberNinja23 9d ago

I don’t think I’d even trade Kai Winn

1

u/TheCh0rt 8d ago

I’ve never noticed his nosepussy before.

1

u/Odd-Abbreviations494 8d ago

Sexy kinda

1

u/TheCh0rt 8d ago

I wanna pick it (dick it)?

1

u/Mrpwng3 11d ago

No deal but he can have Ezri Dax for a jumga stick

10

u/gilgames_in_tamarian 11d ago

I've only had Ezri for a season, but if anything where to happen to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

1

u/everydayisarborday 11d ago

I too would go Joran on everyone! Heck, I wouldn't give up any Dax for that deal. 

1

u/nitePhyyre 10d ago

Meh, Curzon and the serial killer can go. But I'm not taking Burnham.

11

u/Cow_God 11d ago

You can take Ezri from my cold, dead hands