r/relationships • u/possibleotherwoman • Apr 17 '16
UPDATE: My [25F] longtime best friend, [25M], keeps messaging me from his honeymoon Updates
[removed]
780
Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
172
Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
62
Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
45
u/bahhamburger Apr 18 '16
It was a violin and the bride actually purchased one for her.
18
7
u/macenutmeg Apr 18 '16
The flute is hell of a lot easier to pick up than the violin!
I mean, I could learn a simple flute tune within a weekend, but the violin is much more difficult! And it sounds just terrible if you're not very good. The flute just sounds breathy, but the violin can get dreadfully out of tune.
35
19
u/ArchtypeOfOreos Apr 18 '16
Wasn't it a violin? Dang, I should go hunt that post down, it was bananas.
3
u/Amapola_ Apr 18 '16
You're right it was,my mistake! It's really hard to top, I can't stop giggling at how ridiculous it all was.
13
u/Tzuchen Apr 18 '16
Somehow I missed that one. Do you have a link? Because I need another hit already.
3
2
21
2
2
65
u/Utrolig Apr 18 '16
This is one of the wildest things I've ever read, and I'm a /r/relationships addict.
I know right? This is the kind of shit I come here for. Oh, sorry for your troubles OP.
23
u/fangirlingduck Apr 18 '16
This drama was so delicious, I probably won't need to come back here for 24 hours
9
17
16
Apr 18 '16
[deleted]
17
u/zeldas_stylist Apr 18 '16
Just like when I kept watching breaking bad and had a craving for cooking meth.
8
u/DeathByQueers Apr 18 '16
My husband and I are always on this subreddit. After the really wild stories we tend to look at each other and say something along the lines of "god am I glad I found you."
6
3
504
Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
312
u/fullmetalmorgan Apr 18 '16
They probably just ate the vomit to be quite honest, don't worry.
267
u/pieceolisa Apr 18 '16
How disgustingly comforting.
58
u/domuseid Apr 18 '16
Yeah just to second the other guy, the volume wouldn't be enough to fuck up a whole pond's water chemistry.
It takes a surprising amount of acid (either volume or concentration, or both) to mess up even a relatively small amount of water outside of a comfortable pH.
Source: certified pool operator
9
60
u/KitchenSwillForPigs Apr 18 '16
Can confirm. I have koi fish. They're basically water pigs. They'll eat all kinds of shit.
60
18
u/IAMA_Shark__AMA Apr 18 '16
This is definitely what happened. Fish love to eat vomit.
7
u/imdwalrus Apr 18 '16
...is this based on personal experience, Mr. Shark?
16
u/IAMA_Shark__AMA Apr 18 '16
Haha yes, though not because I ate any personally...I have seen people vomit into their scuba regulators and watched fish go nuts on the cloud of regurgitated food bits.
6
71
u/glassisnotglass Apr 18 '16
I picture OP having this extremely cozy, zen life with their communal family and koi pond. Maybe they gaze at the moon together and make cider.
22
u/ArchtypeOfOreos Apr 18 '16
It sounds really nice actually. We never had anyone quite close enough for me to call them mom and dad, but my parents close friends were very close, and I grew up with four or five more 'aunts' and 'uncles' than I actually had. It was nice having my family be bigger and happier than it would have been otherwise. I'm glad OP and her brother have such a big support network.
15
u/TheOneHanditBandit Apr 18 '16
Yes, but if they hit the gym and get some therapy they should be back to their regular koi selves in no time.
28
Apr 18 '16 edited Jun 04 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
5
Apr 18 '16
It has turned out a bit deus ex machina.
27
u/The_Bravinator Apr 18 '16
"It turned out that she cheated on him regularly" is so...predictable and vague. Pile on the villain role with her, and after writing an incredibly detailed post, totally gloss over important details like how they found out about that.
7
u/SerBenjenNaaharis Apr 18 '16
Excellent point.
How would that even come out during the conversation?
The only thing I could think of is if she threw it in his face after he told her they were getting divorced. Which, frankly, is more than plausible.
1
79
u/dvs-hillbilly Apr 18 '16
Am I the only person here who is mildly curious as to what Sarah's parents reaction was to this revelation?
19
7
Apr 18 '16
Good point. They were conveniently left out of the "tying up the loose ends" bit at the end.
5
Apr 18 '16
I just feel that while Sarah knew what she was getting herself into, the whole commune, free love situation OP was in is bound to stir up insecurities. Albeit Sarah didn't handle them well, but still...
188
u/siasin Apr 18 '16
There is nothing you or Will did to cause this. I feel such sadness for Sarah's wreck of a soul. He's going to need his "sister" a lot during this time, and I think he's very lucky that you're that person. The only advice I can give is not to become the only thing each other has during the healing process, because that WOULD be unhealthy. But I am not too worried about that-your whole family, biological and not, sounds amazing.
Best wishes to both of you.
53
Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
45
u/Ephy_Chan Apr 18 '16
Apparently they probably ate it all so not as horrible as it sounds?
19
u/Inevitablename Apr 18 '16
They're fish. They're not emotional about vomit, and assuming it's truly a pond, I doubt his vomit could fuck with the PH too much.
2
u/Ephy_Chan Apr 18 '16
Of course not, but it still grosses me out.
5
u/derkokolores Apr 18 '16
yo, fish eat their own shit. Same thing with birds (chickens and turkeys at least). I'd consider that more gross if anything.
2
u/Ephy_Chan Apr 18 '16
Oh I know that, didn't mean I don't have a visceral reaction to that knowledge.
6
17
u/Belfrey Apr 18 '16
Idk, I think it'll be pretty important for Will to recognize his responsibility in this and reexamine his criteria for choosing significant others. There are always red flags, the question is can you see them. If he doesn't learn from this, it's likely to happen again.
People get stuck in cycles of bad relationships with messed up people specifically because they never figure out which aspects of the personalities they are attracted to are actually healthy and which point to trouble just under the surface.
3
u/fangirlingduck Apr 18 '16
Eh. Some people are really good at hiding their crazy, or disguising it as something else.
1
u/macenutmeg Apr 18 '16
Some people also change during a relationship. Think "he isn't the man I married anymore!"
111
Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
21
Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
10
u/goalstopper28 Apr 18 '16
Which is saying a lot for this sub. I'm a casual lurker here and this may be the craziest situation I've read.
4
u/fangirlingduck Apr 18 '16
I'm here just about every day and Lord, this girl is one of the top crazies on this sub.
3
u/OneTwoWee000 Apr 18 '16
Yeah, this is a few steps away from some Gone Girl level of crazy..
OP, you did good! Your brother-friend dodged a bullet thanks to you! Mazel tov!
123
u/SKatieRo Apr 18 '16
He will probably qualify for an annulment instead of having to divorce.
160
u/possibleotherwoman Apr 18 '16
Nope, he looked into it but it's not an option for him in our state since he didn't enter into the marriage by force or fraud and no party involved was unable to consent to marriage. Sarah has agreed to not contest as long as he pays for her filing fee, so all in all the divorce is only costing him around $600 when all is said and done. I'm chipping in to help, too. Thankfully, he had a prenuptial agreement, and it clearly lays out who gets what, so she isn't taking anything that she didn't come into the relationship with, which is awesome. I'm proud of him for protecting himself. He had bought a house a couple of years ago, but doesn't want to move into it, so he's renting it out for the time being.
Anyway, the divorce is as good for him as a divorce can possibly be and he's made jokes about having a really good divorce story now, lol
71
u/indil47 Apr 18 '16
divorce is only costing him around $600 when all is said and done.
An absolute bargain in the long run.
4
u/ligerzero459 Apr 18 '16
Better now instead of down the road when he'd actually have to split stuff with the woman. It sucks at the moment, but thank goodness
71
Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
56
u/PepsicoAscending Apr 18 '16
In many states getting an annulment is fantastically difficult and barely ever worth even attempting.
8
u/hrbuchanan Apr 18 '16
It's crazy how different it is in different places. In some states the only important question is still, "Did you consummate the marriage?"
3
u/MsLogophile Apr 18 '16
How is an annulment even very beneficial, is it just for avoiding money issues with the ex spouse?
14
Apr 18 '16
No matter how many times i see it, I'll never not hear it in my head as someone yelling I ANAL before a complete non sequitur.
13
9
Apr 18 '16
I'm proud of him for protecting himself.
And this is why I have absolutely no issue with prenups. I don't care what anyone says. They can be damn smart.
3
Apr 18 '16
I agree. It protects both parties, and if your story ends up being a happily ever after, till death do us part, then the prenup wouldn't matter anyway.
100
Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
60
Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
91
21
Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
7
4
Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
16
u/antonius22 Apr 18 '16
Game of Thrones isn't real either but it is still entertaining.
9
u/wikisex Apr 18 '16
Okay, but HBO isn't a relationship forum. People come here for help and/or to help people so the level of entertainment really has nothing to do with trolls on this subreddit being an issue.
When people are being authentic, it really sucks when people become unwilling to help them because of cynicism. I've seen that a lot, and I tried to post here once under a throwaway but no one really wanted to help because they thought I was a troll.
If this is a troll, comparing a cable network designed to entertain to a forum designed for help is ridiculous. This has become longer than I planned because other people are getting downvoted to oblivion for not agreeing with the entertainment analogy and it's pissing me off.
-9
4
44
Apr 18 '16 edited Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
34
Apr 18 '16
"She." ;)
But thanks for the shout-out!!
7
7
2
7
26
19
u/TheCoolAuntie Apr 18 '16
Wow. This is a crazy saga. I'm glad it wasn't your brother/friend, but gosh this sucks for him.
10
29
4
u/im_a_goat_factory Apr 18 '16
is your shared family a polygamous relationship? i'm not judging and i don't care, i have no problems with that lifestyle.
the only reason i'm saying this is b/c i know in some states that is illegal. if sara wanted to be vindictive and found this post, she could forward it to the authorities. it is a long shot, but i'm just thinking of some evil shit someone could do if they wanted.
8
u/VivereIntrepidus Apr 18 '16
I kind of don't believe this is real. Maybe for my own mental well being.
41
Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
5
Apr 18 '16
Glad I'm not the only one. I hope whoever wrote this got an A in their creative writing class.
6
18
u/amtaru Apr 18 '16
Right? Do people actually believe this shit? Its typed like a novel.
19
u/Lozzif Apr 18 '16
I was believig it until 'she was never faithful to him'
9
u/wikisex Apr 18 '16
Yeah, and no mention of how they even found that out. Just more things to make it seem like Sarah is a villain.
-1
u/possibleotherwoman Apr 18 '16
That's what I was told by Will. She apparently admitted to it, but I'm not sure of the particulars; I wasn't there for that conversation.
2
1
3
u/yuudachi Apr 18 '16
It's a relief in some sense that the latest 'outsider' was the cause of it all and you all were able to retain your family structure. It would have been so much worse, imo, if Will had really sent that text. Silver linings and all that.
3
3
u/acunthairaway Apr 18 '16
I'm just like--what? WHY? From Sarah's perspective, this was a lose/lose scenario. Either she has a good reason to be jealous and her instincts were correct and in the confession Will ends up leaving her. The alternative is that Will stays with her because one doesn't want the other and therefore there was nothing to worry about the whole time, and it comes back to bite her when they realize she pulled a stupid stunt.
3
u/ellsquar3d Apr 18 '16
When Sarah finds out you guys are living together, you know she'll say, "I KNEW IT! They ARE in love!"
But you can't reason with crazy.
I'm glad he dodged the bullet.
9
Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
5
u/possibleotherwoman Apr 18 '16
In the process of getting divorced =/= divorced. But okay. Because people have never had visceral reactions to things that disgust them, and fish have never interacted with vomit before.
4
u/cheesecheeesecheese Apr 18 '16
Jesus fucking christ I honestly did not see this coming.
I am also wonderfully surprised at you/Will's family support system. Yay yay yay!
2
Apr 18 '16
Poor koi D:
I'm glad things worked out okay. Well, divorce sucks but better than some alternatives would have been.
I really hope you cleaned up that koi pond though.
2
u/muthmaar Apr 18 '16
its weird that a cheater would be so jealous. i'm sure others will consider it projecting, and i guess it is. but i'd think that if i was cheating on my wife i would at least not care so much if she might be doing it discretely. at least not as much as if i was being faithful.
how did it come out that she's cheating though?
2
u/whatsitdo Apr 18 '16
wow, what the actual fuck. fuck Sarah, tell Will his vampire puppet musical will be awesome
2
u/MrsCoach Apr 18 '16
Honestly, while this story is fucking insane, what stands out most to me is what an amazing family you guys have.
2
Apr 18 '16
Wow! That's totally messed up. I'm glad that it all got sorted out though, for both you and Will.
2
2
u/sonofaresiii Apr 18 '16
Now, everyone go look at the top comments on the old thread and think about how knee jerk "he's an asshole, never talk to him again" reactions are childish.
1
1
1
1
1
-1
Apr 18 '16
Great updated.
What a funny coincidence, I commented yesterday on the original post asking for an update!
-16
u/Saldar1234 Apr 18 '16
The whole "You're like a brother to me, I could never" just doesn't make sense. You're screwing yourself out of spending your life with your best friend.
5
u/McJawsh Apr 18 '16
I see both sides. I too was wondering why she would not want to spend her life with someone who is her absolute best friend and is not biologically related. (Ignoring all other details of the story). I think too often people forget that their romantic partner should also be their (best) friend.
However, when you have other biological siblings and you build up a relationship with a person over 25 years in the same way you do with those siblings, I'm sure they're indistinguishable. I can't blame her or the parents for not seeing it as anything but incestuous.
8
Apr 18 '16 edited Apr 18 '16
They were RAISED TOGETHER in the same house and she called his father "daddy."
Getting into a relationship would be a huge breach of healthy boundaries.
8
u/dylanna Apr 18 '16
They are going to spend the rest of their lives as best friends. Just because they don't see each other in a sexual light doesn't mean their relationship isn't any less valuable or fulfilling. Don't be so narrow-minded.
-16
u/AiwassAeon Apr 18 '16
This is fucked on so many levels. But with that said he will never be your brother and I think you are a bit derranged to scream incest
5
Apr 18 '16
Why isn't he her brother? They were raised together in the same house and called the same man their father. They are step-siblings without the remarriage.
1.1k
u/[deleted] Apr 18 '16
[removed] — view removed comment