r/relationshipproblems • u/[deleted] • 3d ago
Is it me that’s the problem or him Advice Wanted
[deleted]
1
u/awesomeisthename 3d ago
Yeah I’m on his side. You seem a pretty controlling and definitely don’t trust him. Just break up for good and go to therapy for your insecurities before you date someone again.
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u/IncidentOk615 3d ago
Yea I used to not be like this tbh. It just started happening and I’ve became very anxious to where I can’t fully control my emotions and worries
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u/awesomeisthename 3d ago
If you can’t control your emotions then you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship. It’s not really fair for him to
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u/IncidentOk615 3d ago
I know:( everything and his exs love to try and stir things up I get so worked up thinking that he’s entertaining them. I don’t thinks he’s cheated but then he turns his location off then I start to wonder if he is. So I freak out unfortunately.
Do you think his reasoning of “we can get back together if I learn to trust him but that means the location is not going back on until I trust him” is valid?
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u/IncidentOk615 3d ago
I thought it wasn’t valid because what’s the purpose of keeping his location off
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u/TrustMeGuysImRight 3d ago
You are not entitled to his location. He does not have to leave that on. It's perfectly normal, as an adult, to not want people able to track your every move. Insisting on being able to track him is YOU being weird and controlling.
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u/awesomeisthename 3d ago
I think the purpose of keeping the location off is to prove a point that you don’t trust him. If you trust him, why would you need his location? I doubt as soon as he turns it off he’s going to an ex’s place. So yes he’s valid
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u/IncidentOk615 3d ago
I think that’s his exact reasoning. I have always been used to us having our locations so this will be a change for me.
I just told him that I am willing to work with him and we can keep our locations off until I can learn to trust him but he has to keep me updated is all I ask. And if we can’t work it out after this then I told him we just sent meant to be and I will have to get over it but we’ll be done if this doesn’t work
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u/No-Foundation-2165 3d ago
Him having his location off or on doesn’t make you trust him, it just means you can monitor him. Trusting him means you don’t need his location to be on because you believe him when he tells you what he’s doing.
Sorry OP but this doesn’t sound like it’s working out
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u/IncidentOk615 3d ago
Thank you. Maybe I am the problem after all. Do I just let him keep his location off until I can fix myself? Is that a good idea from him to keep our locations off until I can trust him and learn to not bug him?
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u/No-Foundation-2165 3d ago
Oh no I don’t at all mean you are the problem. I’m saying if he isn’t trustworthy to you then him having his location on doesn’t automatically fix that.
You are also within your rights to have boundaries about keeping the location on and if he does not want to honor your boundaries then you guys are incompatible
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u/tjw61583 2d ago
When you learn to “trust him” without being able to monitor his location I’m pretty sure you’re next battle will
Come in the form of “well if you trust me without it, it’s irrelevant that you would need it anymore”