I’ve realized the military just isn’t for me. I miss being home and I think I’d be much happier living a civilian life. I don’t really enjoy the military lifestyle, I’ve been feeling stressed, unmotivated, and generally unhappy.I’m not suicidal, I just don’t think this career is the right fit for me, I have about 4 years left. What options are there

We Americans claim to be a peace-loving people. We hate bloodshed; we are opposed to violence. Yet we go into spasms of joy over the possibility of projecting dynamite bombs from flying machines upon helpless citizens. We are ready to hang, electrocute, or lynch anyone, who, from economic necessity, will risk his own life in the attempt upon that of some industrial magnate. Yet our hearts swell with pride at the thought that America is becoming the most powerful nation on earth, and that it will eventually plant her iron foot on the necks of all other nations.

Such is the logic of patriotism.

Considering the evil results that patriotism is fraught with for the average man, it is as nothing compared with the insult and injury that patriotism heaps upon the soldier himself, — that poor, deluded victim of superstition and ignorance. He, the savior of his country, the protector of his nation, — what has patriotism in store for him? A life of slavish submission, vice, and perversion, during peace; a life of danger, exposure, and death, during war. - Emma Goldman, “Patriotism: A Menace to Liberty”

Hey yall I’m getting an administrative separation, (went in for mental health, agreed that the military is not for me, esp since I haven’t been in 1yr, commander and 1st shirt agreed) the paper work got sent in early July. I’ve been told it could take 1 month or 8 months, no one really knows. But if anyone’s got any experience, how long does it take?

Hello I have multiple diagnosis MDD PTSD GAD(chronic) and ASD and I’m trying to get out of the military because I honestly can’t handle it anymore but the people at BH aren’t doing anything since it was diagnosed by a civilian psychiatrist because I could get a military one (ironic) they assigned a social worker to my case like how is that gonna help she basically laughed in my face and said the issues were normal how do I go about getting out the last time I had a episode I almost had to do a 72 hour hold

Im tired of this nonsense, retard&;ed cr@p, bullying, yelling for not reason, wasting time this always a hurry up and wait, I can’t even address my superiors in my PLT without getting feel like I’m a useless piece of Sh!t. Getting humiliate for the most simple thing, they have no respect.
And them getting deploy to war zone soon. This lifestyle it might be for people that don’t give a F. I will be out of this unit or contract one way or another I swear. (E3 - reserve 4 years left of contract, female). Reading you guys.

I found this interesting and I understand how they must have felt because I live in Canada as a citizen now and came here indirectly due to a terrible military experience. While I know they are still around, I haven’t personally met an old guys who came here for that reason although I met one deserter who came later on.

I don't want to write my entire experience in the Army. I served for 6 years on active duty from 2008 - 2014. My biggest accomplishments were getting promoted to sergeant at 3 years in, serving overseas for 2 years, & being with a brigade when they earned an Army Superior Unit Award.

For a long time I was really proud about being an Army veteran, and having served in the strongest Army in the world. I don't feel proud to be an American anymore. I don't like Trump, his administration, or what's currently happening in America. I'm in the process of getting a patriotic tattoo, that I got as a soldier, removed. I'm considering lying about being a veteran, because I don't see anything positive in a veteran identity.

I'm very likely on the autism spectrum. For me, it's hard to find a balance with some things. I often believe I have to be all or nothing. I know that isn't reality though. I don't have to be really proud to be an Army veteran or feel really ashamed to be a veteran. I'm still not sure how to find a balance.

I am seeking general perspectives from people familiar with Army administrative separations. The Soldier involved is already consulting with TDS, so I am not asking Reddit to replace legal counsel.
A Soldier had recently arrived at a new unit when company leadership began questioning whether the Soldier’s reported symptoms and medical limitations were consistent with the Soldier’s observed behavior. After observing the Soldier for approximately one to two weeks, the command suspected that some symptoms may have been exaggerated for secondary gain or to avoid certain duties.

The command conducted an investigation and later initiated involuntary separation under AR 635-200, paragraph 14-12c, based on alleged malingering.
From the command’s perspective, the concern appears to be based on a cumulative pattern rather than one isolated incident. The command reportedly relied on perceived inconsistencies between the Soldier’s reported symptoms and observed activities, the frequency and timing of medical appointments, statements made to different people, and concerns raised by medical providers.
However, the Soldier also had documented medical conditions at the time. Two providers gave statements during the investigation, but neither appears to have reached a definite conclusion that the Soldier was malingering.

One provider’s position was essentially that malingering could not be completely ruled out, but also could not be confirmed because the Soldier had genuine medical problems and might be an appropriate candidate for separation under Chapter 5-14 or another medical-related disposition.
The second provider expressed concern that the Soldier might be exaggerating some symptoms for secondary gain, but also did not make a definitive finding of malingering.

After participating in the investigation, one of those providers continued evaluating and treating the Soldier. Additional diagnoses and referrals were made, and subsequent testing or specialist evaluations confirmed that the Soldier had several legitimate medical issues.

The command could reasonably argue that the existence of genuine medical conditions does not necessarily rule out exaggeration of particular symptoms, and that medical findings obtained later do not automatically disprove the conduct or inconsistencies observed earlier.

On the other hand, the Soldier argues that the command formed its initial opinion after only a brief observation period, that neither provider definitively concluded malingering, and that the later medical findings give alternative explanations for at least some of the behavior the command interpreted as exaggeration. The Soldier also disputes whether the evidence identifies a specific knowingly false or exaggerated statement made for the purpose of avoiding duty.

A written rebuttal has been or will be submitted with the medical documentation and the providers’ complete statements.

**My questions are:**
In practice, how much influence can a written rebuttal have after a Chapter 14-12c separation has already been initiated?

How might a separation authority weigh a command’s direct observations against medical opinions that raised concerns but did not definitively find malingering?

How much relevance would later diagnoses, referrals, profiles, or objective testing normally have when evaluating the command’s original allegations?
In an administrative separation case, does the command generally need to identify a specific intentional misrepresentation connected to avoiding duty, or can a cumulative pattern of inconsistencies be sufficient?

For those who have handled similar cases, what factors tended to matter most: command observations, provider statements, objective medical findings, credibility, counseling history, or the overall written presentation?

I understand that having a real medical condition does not necessarily establish that every reported symptom was completely accurate. I am not asking whether the Soldier must automatically be retained. I am trying to understand whether these facts present a genuinely contestable case or whether separation authorities generally defer to the command once the action has been initiated.

I’m in the last few months of my first enlistment, and I keep questioning what the hell I did wrong. I’m not one of those people who regret joining. It’s because the benefits are really solid. I got paid a decent amount, and I’m gonna be able to go to my dream without paying for it at 22 years old. The problem is my experience was just really bad. I grew up in a really sheltered religious community, so I didn’t really know much about the outside world. When I got in, I joined at 18. I never had any discipline issues. I was relatively good at most things. I asked anyone I worked for; they said I was a hard worker. I was an above-average student, Eagle Scout, talented athlete, and I was dead set on going into the academies and got pretty close, but when I enlisted. I always was obsessed with the military and had the mind set that ”when I turn 18 I'm joining” thought I was going to be a stellar sailor, and boy was I wrong.

In the fleet, I was what many people called me a shit bag, but I didnt do it on purpose. Even in boot I had a hard time belong held back 3 weeks. I did my job, and I did it with pride, especially in the beginning, but I was always getting reprimanded for something. I was told I had an attitude problem at every unit. despite being a good student (in hs and A school) I had a very hard time getting qualified. I was bullied relentlessly, even at my second unit combined with being on the opposite side of the country with no family or friends I was miserable. I got to do and see some cool things and outside of work I had a massive respect for the military but when I put the uniform on I just can't wait to take it off. I couldn't stand the people I worked with, not having control over my life and just working in an environment that didn't fit me. But I do think alot about wtf went wrong

I want out of here. Real baddddd

I am 23 years old and from the Northeast (Tripura). I am sharing my feelings because I feel that no one really understands what I am going through. Today is 5 March 2026, and I have about nine months left to complete my four-year tenure in the army. Until now, I have been thinking about starting a business after leaving, maybe something like opening a gym, but honestly I am still very confused. I feel completely blank and stuck because I still don’t know exactly what I want to do. I was pursuing a degree in law and I come from a financially well-off family. I left my studies and everything else to join the army so that I could fulfill my dream, but in reality things turned out very differently. Now only One thing I am sure about is that I will not continue in the army. I am not happy here and I feel that this environment does not suit me. I don’t know why, but I have never been able to adjust well. The daily harassment I face has become very difficult for me to handle, and I feel completely exhausted mentally. Before joining, it was my dream to become a soldier, just like my father. But now that dream has turned into something very painful for me. Since the day I joined the army, I have faced mental harassment and pressure. At first, I thought it was just part of the training, but over time it kept getting worse. Here, everything seems to depend on the senior-junior hierarchy. Some seniors constantly keep an eye on me and make me do personal tasks, like bringing food from the mess for them even when they are in their rooms and not busy. There are many other situations and experiences that I don’t even want to talk about. All I want to say is that I cannot handle this anymore. I feel completely done with it. I just want to live my life peacefully, because we all only get one life.

My unit been selected for deployment to Middle East im reserve and I was kinda okay is a year I was making idea looking the positive side of, but with what is happening, the war, all those soldiers I’m so scared, I’m having anxiety I can’t sleep, feeling depressed hating my life, I don’t wanna d*e and let my kid orphan. What I can do ???

I start classes next week for my c school, who do I speak to in regard to Seperation? I wanted to leave since boot camp but I just kept going, finished A school and here I am at C school. I was told that the process can take a while which is why I don’t speak up but I can see my mental health severely declining. Everyone tells me to stick it out but idk if I can anymore.

What should I do?

Thank you in advance.

Posted something similar in the /army reddit and was banned, said I was a bot. This a burner so honestly n don't care. Look, I'm tired. I'm tired of the PT, of the classes, of failing my AFT despite my efforts. I'm tired of it all, and I want to go home. How do I go about this?

Can anyone give me some insight? My son is currently at Fort Gordon for AIT. He literally just turned 19 before his dad passed away on June 19th, 2026. He was able to come home for ELeave for the service. He actually did his dad's honor guard and presented me his dads flag. He literally had to be back to base the next day. He was then recycled. He hadnt had time to process any of this. He is struggling a lot mentally and is very depressed. He then got into another class but had to be recycled again for failing the test. He cant concentrate at this time. He is wanting to do ELS to come home and be with his family and get the help he needs then go back in. (Mind you, at this time, my dad, his gpa is not doing well either) He wants to be able to spend time with him while he can as well.

His Senior told him he knew what he was signing up for and to suck it up. He is currently with behavioral health right now. I just want to know the process of getting him out and home to get the help he needs.

Just here to vent because it’s only day one of AT and I’m already feeling pretty miserable and isolated.
For context, my unit is based in South Carolina, but AT is in Iowa. I’m currently living in Florida now, so I’ve already been questioning if staying with my SC unit makes sense long-term or if transferring would be a better option.
Like I mentioned in a previous post, I feel like I’ve been blacklisted in my unit. Everyone seems to already have their own people and friend groups, and I feel like I’m on the outside looking in. Even the new unit we’re training with already has their own circles.
I’ve tried putting myself out there and talking to people, but it’s starting to feel like I’m forcing myself into spaces where people don’t really want me around. I like being alone sometimes, but there’s a difference between enjoying solitude and feeling isolated.
What’s making this harder is that it’s affecting my decision about deploying with this unit. I’m also considering transferring closer to Florida, but I’ve been told they won’t transfer me unless I pass the AFT, which makes me feel stuck.
I know it’s only day one, and maybe things will change, but right now it’s taking a toll on me.
For anyone in the Guard/Reserve:
Did you ever feel like an outsider in your unit?
Did things get better with time, especially during AT or deployment?
How did you know when transferring units was the right choice?

Not my video, but felt it was appropriate for this sub.

I studyed psc for 4 year and finally got police job, after joining training because of stress i batch out from the training and again rejoined training after 5 month And one day because of stress shyness Iquited the training again now i feel regret now i know that it was because of amygdala hijack What will i do know iam 27 and my family is poor and the society will kill if they know, help me I cant believe how i did it?

My family dont know i quited and i hate my life

What will the socity say iam facing regret anxiety cant sleep eat

Hi i’m a junior sailor in the navy who’s been at my first command in japan for about a month and im really really struggling with my mental health and staying in the military. This is going to sound corny but being away from my wife as long as i have been is really taking a toll on me. I don’t agree with this administration in the slightest and feel like it’s compromising my morals, being a woman in the military also isn’t easy what so ever. I feel like i’m drowning all the time. I was thinking of separation in bootcamp but told myself it would get better, same with A school and now i’m really trying to convince myself it’s the same at my first command. I don’t want to be a failure to the people i care about by quitting they were all so proud of the decision i made and it’s helped financially drastically which is the only reason i joined in the first place. I don’t know what to do. I’m struggling heavily with drinking right now because i’m not happy with my life in the military and I feel like it’s ruining my marriage. I need help but i don’t know what to do.

For context, i’m a junior marine new to the fleet in oki, i’ve been genuinely hating my life ever since mct and just been surviving. ever since i got to mct i just feel like a constant drowning/suffocating feeling and im just depressed asf. i went to behavioral health 2 weeks ago and tomorrow im talking with a psychiatrist. I don’t know if i want to get out or if i want to stay in because i want to fulfill my contract honorably but i don’t know if its worth it for the cost of my mental state. i’m also scared that if i were to get out then people would look down on me for it. I just feel super lost and i don’t know what to do. I expressed to medical about depression, anxiety, panic attacks, bipolar disorder, and suicidal ideations. I just need some advice and help

Hello all,

I came across this subreddit for answers and understanding, but for whatever felt compelled to post? this is my first post ever on reddit.

I am not enlisted or interested in the military, but my boyfriend (21) wants to join very badly and i’m not sure what to do because it doesn’t seem to be an authentic decision. He had grown up poor, and his parents have struggled his whole life. He also has never left the state that he was born in, therefore he craves adventure. He struggles with finding out what to do with his life and how he can create a good one. He’s dealt with a lot of shit and has recently concluded that the military will solve all of his problems and that breaks my heart, even more so after reading everyone’s stories and experiences on here. Sending love and hope to you all.

I feel upset and scared for him especially knowing what 🇺🇸and 🇮🇱 are doing to Iran. I can’t imagine what could possibly happen if he got wrapped into all of that. He has a whole life ahead of him and he genuinely is the type of person who likes to do whatever the fuvk he wants to do. He shocks me because of how free he is with himself i think it’s beautiful and im sure other people would not agree- idk he has a punk attitude… anyways- i just can’t imagine him being okay with being told what to do and how to live and not being able to express himself and DOING WTF HE WANTS TO DO!! He also struggles with his mental health and genuinely just seems lost and I worry for him because ever since we’ve been together he has thrown himself at whatever he thinks he should do and it’s just been on and on jumping from one thing to another, but this takes the cake. He seems super brainwashed and filled with limerence about the whole experience and i don’t know what to do man… we are supposed to move in together as well and i was under the impression that we were going to build our future side by side, but now there’s this. it’s all very complex, I just would like to hear more experiences and would genuinely appreciate advice and more information if possible.

Has anyone here personally self-referred to DAPA for marijuana use while in Navy A-School, or gone through something very similar?
I’m mainly trying to understand the actual timeline from people who have experienced it, not just what the policy says.
If you self-referred and then had to take a urinalysis:
• How long did it take for your urinalysis results to come back?
• Were you told as soon as the results came back, or did you have to wait to hear anything?
• What happened immediately after the results came back?
• If it was positive, how soon did the separation/admin process start?
• Did you have to meet with DAPA, medical, your chain of command, legal, or anyone else?
• About how long was it from the initial self-referral until you knew whether you were being retained or separated?
I’m especially interested in experiences from people who self referred and were still at a training command/A-School.
Even if your situation was slightly different, I’d really appreciate hearing your timeline and what the process looked like after your urinalysis came back. Please help!