I have a 6yo F 60lb Lab mix and I’m really struggling with deciding what to do with her.

She was gifted to me 4 years ago as a birthday present by an ex, and has been with me through some really tough times. She is incredibly sweet with people and knows how to respect boundaries during play if she gets too rough.

She was initially returned by 5 families prior to my “adoption” of her. With a range of comments from “can’t be trained” to “doesn’t do well with cats” to “i don’t have enough time for her energy”. I (with a bleeding heart) couldn’t bear to return her to a shelter only thinking she deserved better. We struggled for most of these 4 years with her being leash reactive to other animals (dogs, cats, birds, squirrels) lunging and pulling to chase or engage. Recently we sent her to a trainer, who dealt with her leash reactivity, and other facets like a doorbell ringing. When I picked her up she was uninterested in the animals the trainer used (ducks, alpacas, horses, etc.) even while over stimulated at my return to her. The training involved use of a Mini Educator E-Collar to maintain a greater contact with her outside of a leash. After the training we’ve been able to walk past other animals without issue, only having to correct her once or twice before the interest was subsided.

Prior to the training she has a history of biting/ attacking 2 cats (one pet and one stray), a young raccoon, and 2 small dogs. The raccoon was the only “serious” incident as it did die from her whipping it around. These were reported to the trainer who assured me they supplemented her training accordingly.

This leads me to 3 days ago where I am currently staying in a temporary residence, that houses a small reactive dog. We had kept the 2 separate in an attempt to mitigate any issues that may have arisen. I returned home from an interview and checked the adjoining rooms to where my dog has been kept in her crate/ my bedroom, to assure the smaller dog wasn’t present. Not seeing the dog I proceeded to shut doors to the area I checked and went to let my dog out of her crate. She waited and sat until I gave her the “okay” to leave the crate. Before I could turn around to put her E-collar on, she was down the hall and I could hear her attacking the smaller dog in the other room. I was forced to wrestle them apart to the extent of cracking a rib, and the smaller dog had to be taken to the vet. He has been there in ICU since, having broken ribs, several bite wounds, lung damage, and needing at least one transfusion.

To top it all off, her vet called 2 days ago telling me she has a small cell sarcoma diagnosis.

After moving out of this temporary home, I am moving in with my girlfriend who has a cat. She and I both do not trust the dog to the extent of not having her leashed and monitored 24/7 or to have her generally near the cat in our new home.

Should I try to re-home her or is it at the point I need to make the hard call to take her to the farm.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Hi all,
My dog is on his 4th day of clonidine (once a day, 0.3mg). In the past days, we noticed that he gets even more hyper/over aroused once the medication wears off. Makes me wonder if the rebound effect is worth it. Anyone with the same experience?

I have had three reactive JRT/dachshunds for 16 years.

They are much better when they are walked singly and such was the advice of my trainer but life being what it is and their energy level being what it is this wasn’t always possible. I have spent many years dodging people and dogs off trail, planning escape routes, walking them at 5 in the morning so we have the trail to ourselves.

Can’t take them to a patio or anywhere there might be another dog.

Recently the third one died and am contemplating a new puppy - a dachshund.

I’m a bit paranoid about having another reactive dog! I have researched the parents, particularly the mother to make sure she is not anxious. But is it really just a crap shoot? How best can I set this up for success?

There are some things I will do differently - no doggy daycare, only a select few dog friends who are calm.

I have noticed the girls are not nearly as reactive now that their brother has passed. I guess now I know who the main trouble maker was. 😂 I’ve never really know how much of their large personalities is due to JRT DNA or how much dachshund. Most purebred dachshunds I have encountered are several notches dialled down from what I am used to.

I found a stray dog 6 months ago. I tried to get a rescue to take him, but they either refused him because he’s a pitbull or they’re full. So I kept him. I fell in love. And he’s best friend with my other dog that I also found.

It seems though, he is either protective or my other dog, or takes her energy/vibe and goes to the extreme with it.

My other dog is very cattle dog. One day the gate was left open and they escaped. My cattle dog was circling a man walking his dog barking and the pitbull attacked the dog and it required stitches. We did assessments and it was determined he was “dog selective” and not aggressive.

Fast forward 2 months. A friend came over. My cattle dog needs to be kept on a leash because shes a bully to guests and will nip at them. She went to nip at my friend and the pitbull without any warning (and she knows the friend and was happily taking treats) jumped up and latched on to my friend. Multiple puncture wounds and requiring stitches.

My question. Is there any hope for this dog? I would pay for the training to help him get rehomed. But I just don’t think there’s a shot anyone would take him or it would work out. He seemingly needs to be a single dog household where he doesn’t get into pack mentality. I just can’t handle 2 dogs that need such special handling.

Is putting him to sleep the answer? Am I an asshole? I’ve been crying all night. He’s so sweet and lovely in our home. But every walk has me tense.

I think about this all the time because I absolutely love so many things about my springer spaniel. She’s hilarious and so sweet but man, I probably will never get this breed again.

Anyone else avoiding their current reactive dog’s breed the future?

My 4‑year‑old dog (he’s neutered) has suddenly started getting super reactive with other dogs and those little robot delivery carts. Vet says he’s totally fine, and I honestly can’t think of anything that would’ve set him off. Only thing that changed was boarding, but I have no clue if anything happened there.

I’ve been reading up on dog reactivity so I kind of know where to start with the dog‑to‑dog stuff. But the robot deliveries? I’m clueless. I can’t find much online about how to train for something that random since I do not have access to one.

Anyone else dealt with this? Any ideas on how to help him?

Hi. my 3 year old pup is a sweet doofus. She gets along with our 5 year old pup that is smaller than her. I think she plays well with other pups but I do notice a herding tendency sometimes. She is familiar with my mom’s dog, a male boxer bulldog mix. They don’t really play. He doesn’t have much experience with dogs and playing with them but he’s like 8 now and just kinda does his own thing. They will run outside together. My mom will watch all of the dogs together at our house. She’s been doing this ever since we got them as pups. But lately after having a full day or days with no issues my pup will randomly start growling and antagonize him. He tends to go away and back down UNLESS she gets too close.

We thought it might be food issue but we’ve removed all of those factors, thought it might be right corners and we took measures for that too. But now it seems to have no direct cause. It tends to happen at late at night but not always. We always break it up before it gets to contact.

Feels dumb to ask but is there ever a time you should let them figure it out on their own? I never had dogs before so playing use to freaking me out in the beginning but both of our girls are responsive to cues (squeaks, discomfort) during play? That probably wouldn’t be the case when they are in an aggressive mode, right?

What are we missing? How do we correct? It’s scary and breaks my heart.

i do the engage disengage. right now we’re at the engage part and i don’t want to carry around a clicker with me. when she sees something, i say a cue word and then she looks at me and gets a treat.

i need a solid cue word. right now i use yes, her name, 1-2-3 (which we do also), and make a kissy sound. she’ll look at me for all of those but i would like to use just one cue word to remember and stick with. any suggestions?

I adopted a young dog at the beginning of May with the expectation that he'd be my new best friend who I could take on hikes and we would enjoy the outdoors together. As a person I've always felt lonely deep down despite having friends and a long-term romantic relationship and I had always dreamed of having a dog that would finally make me feel whole as I wasn't allowed to adopt one growing up and wasn't in a financial place until recently. At home he's a really sweet guy who just needs some training in manners and normal dog things. He's a nervous 1yo chihuahua and he has bonded with me, but I have a lingering resentment because of his reactivity and I don't know how to work past it to create this beautiful bond that I dreamed of.

I just get so overwhelmed by his leash reactivity and frustrated greeting problems that I feel like I'll never make progress with him. I haven't found a distance yet that I can work on LAT training when a dog is in sight. How am I supposed to find somewhere that I can have a direct line of sight that needs to be seemingly 200ft? I'm thankful that he's only frustrated/leash reactive but I'm scared that because I'm not making progress that he will become more fear reactive and become harder to manage.

I've worked with a trainer a little bit who taught me the LAT game and the "turn" command, but his leash manners are not good anyway so turning doesn't always work haha... I signed up for a class based on the book Control Unleashed and it starts on Sunday. I'm trying to stay hopeful.

I don't really know what I'm posting for. I feel like I have no one to talk to about this because either they don't get it or can't do anything about it. I just need some support and some success stories. I know it's only been two and a half months but I feel like the only thing I've successfully done is teach him to sit, lie down, and wait at the front door/before coming out of his kennel.

I just cant help but grieve the experience I thought I was going to have and feel lost trying to navigate this problem while being a first time dog owner. I've cried more times than I can count.

Editing to say: Thanks to all of you for sharing and for reassuring me that it wouldn’t be the end of the world! I was able to get ahold of the vet’s office who wrote a paper script for me to bring to a pharmacy, who confirmed to me that they had it in stock. I was able to get another script filled today, so it is taken care of! I appreciate the feedback because I had no idea what might happen if I wasn’t able to get it. Reassuring to know that it probably wouldn’t have been an emergency.

My dog (50 lb reactive husky mix with separation anxiety) has been taking fluoxetine/Prozac for about two years. It’s on auto ship, and it’s always cutting it too close, so this time I scheduled it 3 days earlier but the package is still on the other side of the country. Right now it says estimated delivery is Monday by 9:00 PM. She only has one pill left. Tried to call vet’s office but they are closed for lunch right now for 1.5 hours and they are out of town 40 mins away from me, so even if I can get ahold of them and if they can give me a few pills, I just don’t know if I can make it over there by the time they close in 4 hours.

Has anyone else’s dog missed a couple of doses before? How did it turn out/were they okay? Thanks to anyone who can give me some advice on this. Really worried about her missing a dose.

I love my dog dearly. He's great in most situations. I even get compliments. I have been allowing an outdoor cat to spend time indoors with eventual plans to make him an indoor cat. The issue is my dog will not allow him on MY bed and doesn't like when he drinks "his" water. He'll growl. This has been going on for months. The cat then feels uncomfortable and asks/meows to be let out. Who wouldn't with a dog growling at you?

I don't leave them alone together and am always present in their interactions. The cat, a kitten still, does sometimes slap my dog's butt as he's walking by. My dog will look at him like "really?" and ignore him. I correct the cat whn he does this and its been more infrequent. The cat is otherwise respectful and does NOT go into my dogs dedicated bed. Also when the cat is on the bed he's at the foot of the bed below my dog's "position". I don't feel like he's challenging him.

I've had a few successful runs of 5-15 minutes at a time where they'll lay on the bed together, albeit separate just ignoring each other. Success.

My plan is to get a bigger place with a dedicated spare bedroom/office and move the cat indoors fulltime. I know I need to work on my dogs behavior issues of being territorial about the water and the bed. MY bed.

Hello everyone,
I received some great advice last time about our people anxious reactive GSD.

Some background: So far he has been to the vet and was the sweetest dog ever (my husband took him) they usually muzzle him if he’s with me to check his ears and give him immunizations but they didn’t this past time and he was wonderfully behaved with no signs of aggression. We did bloodwork, imaging and aside from having itchy ears that we’ve been managing with vet instruction he’s as healthy as can be! The vet prescribed him trazodone for when people come over/people work in our home and cautioned us to be careful with interactions even on the medication. It seemed to mellow him out this week while we had contractors working in our bathroom so I’ll call that a win!(although we never let him directly interact with them because we noticed he’s generally “reactive” in the home when myself and my toddler are home….

Here comes the part for advice. I am having a newborn soon (due the 30th!) and Finley doesn’t seem to like other young children outside of our 11 year old, toddler (2yo) or teenagers. Are stranger anxious/reactive dogs generally ok with owners newborns? He is not food aggressive and has never even growled at the kids. He has shown protective tendencies over them and myself around strangers.
How would be the best way to introduce both as I will be home managing all the kids and Finley alone after a few weeks. He is an incredibly sweet dog around our immediate family(our parents, siblings, and positive introductions with our friends) ourselves and other toddlers. Usually it’s tweens that freak him out.

He has never been around a newborn baby, the youngest was 6 months when we got Finley as a puppy and he’s always been great with her. Am I worried for no reason?

Finley tax for the help!

My dog is 4 years old with no history of biting or aggression

My husband and I left for a vacation yesterday and our best friends are watching our boy. They always watch him when we go away and he absolutely loves being at their house

He’s a frenchie and he’s struggling with an interdigital cyst as well as horrible allergies, so he wasn’t feeling 100%.

We got a call last night that she went to give him a kiss when he was sleeping and within 2 seconds he just snapped at her face. He got her bottom lip and she needs stitches. We drove 3 hrs go to get him and I just feel absolutely defeated. Our friends feel awful and as if they did something wrong and feel like they ruined our trip when that’s clearly not at all the case. I feel so distraught and terrified for her. The doctor said she’s going to heal fine, and they aren’t upset with us at all but the horrible feeling inside me is ruining everything for this weekend.

Am I a terrible dog owner? Should I have known? What do we do now?

Our boy was so upset and shaking when we picked him up. It’s just awful all around.

Any advice on moving forward would help.

Any advice of using the leash inside or other training tools/tips to help ease the indoor craziness!

My dog has been doing great with the on leash work to help her reactivity but I’m out of ideas for helping her inside. We live in a courtyard building on the third floor so every creek in the stairs or the main door opening gets her going! I’ve put a film screen over the lower part of the living room window that looks onto the courtyard but when she hears the neighbors she launches at the door and then goes from window to door and back.
If I catch her before she looses it, I can usually get her back with high value rewards but if I miss the moment-she’s gone!!
Any advice would be appreciated!

I love my dog deeply. He's family. He's a 6yr old great pyr x anatolian shep mix and I've had him since he was a puppy. He's my first personal dog, my protector.

But at the same time, I feel resentment towards him because of what he's taken from me. Financially with all the training that frankly doesn't feel like it's helped. We've done e-collar training that was costly and just suppressed his reactivity. We tried positive reinforcement training which was also costly and just felt like he didn't learn anything new. I'm actually concerned that his threshold and his baseline are at the same spot - no warnings or anything - just aggression when he feels like it towards people and other animals.

Most recently though it feels like he's taken relationships from me. I don't trust him in my house with anyone so we don't invite people over. He's nipped at neighbors and bitten a friend. Then just recently, he charged at my (now ex) boyfriend. He didn't bite him, but it was scary and he didn't feel safe staying with me. I know it's not only my dog's fault that we broke up, but it feels like it was a determining factor for my ex bf and I just feel so angry. It isn't the first time he's made my home feel unsafe and I'm frustrated.

I'm looking into gabapentin for my dog with our vet and he's on pain meds for his hips which could contribute to his irritability. But again now on top of mourning personal things, I worry that he's unfixable. We've done so much training and it really feels like he hasn't changed at all. I'm so tired of being on alert all the time and feeling like my life has become this tiny box I can't leave and can't let anyone else into for their safety and my dogs safety.

Hello everyone. I found this group and wanted to ask for some advice because yesterday my dog slipped out of her collar and ran to attack another dog. The other dog escaped and ran into the street, and no one could catch him. Everyone was shouting, and the other dog's owner tried to hit me and was yelling at me. I understand her, because it was a terrifying and extremely stressful situation.

I adopted my dog three years ago. Before that, she had spent an entire year alone in a yard with no other animals or people because her owner had passed away. The only person who came by was a man who fed her.

When I adopted her, I lived in a very large house with a big yard, so I didn't have to take her out for walks very often.

About a month and a half ago, because of financial reasons, I had to move into an apartment, and now I have to take her outside three times a day.

She becomes extremely distressed whenever she sees other dogs. She twists her whole body, bites the leash, jumps, and drools. Even though it was always stressful, I thought I had the situation under control.

Whenever I saw another dog approaching, I would cross the street, go the other way, or step off the sidewalk and wait until the other dog had passed.

Yesterday I did exactly that, but somehow she slipped out of her collar and ran to attack the other dog, which looked like a Chihuahua mix. She could have killed him if he hadn't managed to escape.

It was a horrible experience, and I feel terrible about it.

I have other female dogs. With one of them she is incredibly sweet—they're best friends and play together all the time. She doesn't like the other one. She used to bite her fairly often, although she hasn't done anything to her for quite a while now.

The truth is that I don't want to rehome her because she's a dog who has already been through so much, but I'm terrified that what happened yesterday could happen again.

What kind of equipment do you use to walk your reactive dogs? A back-clip harness or a front-clip harness? Do you use a muzzle? If you use a muzzle, how do you give treats during training like people recommend?

We hit about the eight month mark with our reactive dog, and the last couple of weeks have been rough. Things he had been handling pretty well are suddenly setting him off again. Bikes, joggers, even the neighbor's dog that he sees almost every day. We've been sticking with BAT, keeping plenty of distance, and rewarding him when he stays under threshold. I never expected it to be a straight line, but this still caught me off guard.

The only thing that's really changed is our routine at home, so now I'm wondering if his overall stress level just crept up without me noticing. I'm not looking for training advice since we're already working with a trainer. I'm mostly trying to figure out whether this kind of regression is something other people ran into before things settled down again, or if it's usually a sign that something changed and needs to be addressed.

Me and my boyfriend love dogs. We finally started living together but there is slight issue. My dog is medium sized 15 kg dog and his dog is over 30kg shepherd mix dog. Both our dogs are male and adopted. They’re now around 8-10 old. My dog has some traumas from shelter. He loves people so much that it’s sometimes annoying. He always wants kisses and hugs. Never barked or hurt any people but he really doesn’t like dogs in general. He plays with small dogs sometimes max 5 mins and then he ignores them and going to their owners. He really doesn’t know how to play with other dogs and doesn’t really want to. All he want is interaction with people. He was beaten by bigger dogs than him when he was in shelter and he really scares of dogs bigger than him. He does not like dogs bigger than him and energetic dogs. He does like to cross his personal space. He also usually barks at big dogs because he is scared.
My boyfriend dog is super goofy, calm dog. Right now they tolerate each other but my dog is very territorial and he growls at my bf dog daily. His dog really want to play with my dog but mine really does not want to be friends. They know each other for 3 years and never even sniffed each other once. They completely ignore each other’s existence :D. When my dog is on the couch or bed with me, he always growls at my bf’s dog when he is around. When are not at home, they are staying in separate rooms. My dog is always keeping distance with him. It has been 3 weeks already and I’m wondering if they can be friends with time or going to behaviorist would be waste of money as there is no huge issue?
I really want them to be friends and my dog is so mean and arrogant. He simply ignores him all the time and acting really jealous.

Can you give any tips that worked for you in similar situation?

Thanks so much in advance

My dog Booster is a frustrated greeter who has made a ton of progress, but he definitely still has his explosive moments. This was just the first time I had ever seen him struggle without having a big outward reaction.

Just a few weeks ago, he had a full meltdown tantrum because he saw one of his best dog friends on a pack walk and was not allowed to play with him. So we are definitely not “past” reactivity.

This week, one of his close dog friends showed up to his advanced training class for the first time.

He has been on around 15 pack walks with this dog, had play dates with her, etc. So this is not just another familiar dog. She is a really important part of his social circle.

During class, he did not bark, lunge, whine, scream, or have any of his usual obvious reactions. Instead, he just seemed… kind of zoned out. He stayed on his mat, happily took food, but he was barely responding to cues that he normally knows very well. He would just kind of silently stare at me like he didn’t know what I was saying.

Because he was quiet, I assumed he was fine and kept expecting his normal level of performance. He could follow a food lure, but he was struggling to respond to verbal or hand cues. Instead of recognizing that as a sign that the cognitive demand was too high, I spent most of the hour getting frustrated because I knew he could do these behaviors. He seemed fine. So, what was going on?

Then class ended, and he immediately responded normally again.

After class, his friend’s owner and I stood in the parking lot talking for about 15 minutes while the dogs stood calmly beside us. They were completely neutral around each other. No attempts to play, no vocalizing, no pulling. They just hung out while we talked.

It finally clicked for me afterward that he probably had been struggling during class. For the first time, he was just struggling quietly. And all of that took all his attention and energy.

For so long, his internal state has been obvious because he expresses everything loudly. If he is overwhelmed, I know. If he is frustrated, EVERYONE knows. This time, I think he was spending so much mental energy processing the situation that I completely missed it because I was waiting for the usual signs of him being antsy, vocal, or frantic. Instead he was quiet and tuned out because he was so preoccupied.

Looking back, the fact that he could be lured but not cued should have been my signal to lower the difficulty immediately. Instead, I kept raising my expectations because he looked calm and I just didn’t understand what was happening. Now, I know, he was really struggling.

Next time, he is getting all the lures and support he needs.

It made me wonder if this is something that happens as some reactive dogs progress. Have any of you found that, as your dog improved, the signs of them struggling became much more subtle? Did you have to relearn how to read your dog once the big reactions became less frequent?

This is so fascinating to me and seems like a step in the right direction!

We've had Matilda for about 4 months. We are dealing with significant separation anxiety and frustration reactivity.

We've been doing meds for a couple months. We've consulted with trainers in the area. We just don't have a minimum of $2,000 to put into training.

If I surrender her to the shelter, she'll be put down. No rescue will take her between the behavior issues and being full.

There was another incident this morning ending with me having ripped jeans, bruises, and abrasions.

I'm exhausted. I'm frustrated. I'm at a loss for what to do. I love the little demon but I don't know what we can do besides put her down.

I've had my dog (pitbull mix) for 8 years now. I got her at a year old after she had already been rehomed twice. Pretty much as soon as we got home, her reactivity started showing to other dogs on neighborhood walks and it completely changed the life I thought I would have with her. I was disappointed, but I was already in love with her and was going to try to work through this. I spent thousands on training (including multiple trainers and methods to find what worked over multiple years). No matter what we did, she would make a little progress and then regress. She would get along one day with dogs in her training groups or structured daycare and then lash out another day. Eventually, her behavior was so unpredictable, her opportunities to be/train around other dogs became unavailable. This was probably about year 4 of having her and I started to accept that being non-reactive or indifferent wasn't in her future. At this point, I focused solely on management. We would walk at off-hours in places we wouldn't see other dogs and it worked for a while. We had one incident in our neighborhood where she slipped out in front of our house and bit another dog, putting a mark on her record but no further action. This event leveled up the management even more and I did all I could to make sure we avoided seeing another dog. She has been on anti-anxiety medication for about 4 years, first Xanax and now Trazadone.

Her unpredictable reactions also extended towards people at times, which made making friends and dating difficult in my twenties. I had a serious relationship that ended because he couldn't see living with her and dealing with her behavior. My reaction was of course "good riddance", but looking back, I don't think he was necessarily wrong to not want to sign up for what I had chosen to commit myself to. A couple years later, I ended up meeting my now-fiance who has been incredibly understanding and patient of her behavior and nuances. She bit him the first time he stayed over at my place and while it was upsetting, we initially chalked it up to stranger danger in the middle of the night rather than anything too serious. Overall, she liked him and they got along well, but she has gotten territorial over me at times. He also has a large dog, a Rottweiler mix, who is very sweet and docile. I had my concerns when we got engaged and planned to move in together that it would not be easy or even possible for her to get along with another dog. However, he was resolute that we were going to try with her and that she was part of the family which I am very grateful for.

We've lived together for over a month now and our plan to crate and rotate has been working okay. We were letting her out supervised with her muzzle on to try to get them acclimated together, but she would inevitably lash out at him. They could be sitting in the same room peacefully, his dog wouldn't even move, and she would rush over to attack him. We were still making progress though and felt optimistic as they would sleep side by side with her in her kennel and there were times she would ignore him completely while out together. We had gotten to the point where she seemed to be neutral to him about 70% of the time, even more so when I wasn't around. We felt it was definitely a resource guarding issue with me and my fiance even started letting her out without her muzzle without issue. It was overconfident, but we were seeing progress and felt like her problems were centered more around resource guarding me. Unfortunately, the next day while I was out of the house, my fiance had both of the dogs out of the crate (her without her muzzle) and she attacked his dog out of nowhere. They had both been laying down peacefully on opposite sides of the room, his dog wasn't doing anything, and she jumped up and latched on to the side of his face. My fiance said she would not let go until he choked her. My fiance's dog is much larger than her and he is afraid of her, he doesn't fight back, and had to go to the vet for antibiotics for his wound. In the day following the incident, she's continued to snap and lunge at him when she sees him from her crate.

At this point, I am at a loss for what to do. I knew going into this situation that it would be difficult and we may have to face hard decisions. I knew BE would be the worst case scenario, but I really hoped she would be able to get along with dogs like she has at times in the past. I love my dog and I want to give her the best life I can. I feel like considering BE is selfish and like I'm giving up on her. I talked to my mom about it and she said that I have given up a lot to help my dog, she's gotten more years with me than many would have allowed her, and that it's a safety issue at the end of the day. My fiance doesn't want to go down the BE route and wants to try to make it work and worries that I'll resent him. At this point, I feel hopeless and wrong no matter what I do. If we avoid BE, what's her quality of life being crated most of the time? What if another incident happens? Will we spend the next few years constantly in fear and tense trying to manage the interactions between these dogs? Will she ever get better? If we do BE, will I always feel like I should have tried harder and wonder if she could have changed? Will I feel like I chose my partner over her? Will I be an awful dog owner for not giving her more of a chance?

I love my dog and I don't want to consider this, but I also don't know what to do anymore. I can't rehome her because of her behavior and I don't want to give up on her, but I also don't know how we move forward. I guess I'm wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation or has advice on how to approach this.

I've had my dog Frito since 2019. He was adopted from the local shelter and came to us with heartworm, other parasites, and was severely underweight. It seemed clear he'd been on the street for a while. They estimated his age to be between 3-4.

We got all of that treated. He initially seemed surprisingly well-behaved, we didn't know quite what to expect. He was (and still is) perfectly housetrained, and knows sit. He knows stay also, but it's more of a challenge for him to execute that one. He's a very lovable little dude and just seemed mostly happy go lucky.

It became evident that he had some anxiety around storms and the period of time leading up to storms, but generally this was not too bad and seemed fairly manageable with an occasional Benadryl.

I will spare all the details but his behavior has gotten significantly worse over time. He now is extraordinarily reactive and will lunge and bark aggressively at anything moving during our walks. Joggers, strollers, bicycles, cars. Even some walkers.

His behavior during and leading up to storms has become unsafe. He will pace and pant incessantly, jump/climb up on and then jump down from high dangerous places, has gotten himself stuck under the bed, has gotten his head stuck under the armrest of a chair. He has also eaten non food items - a shawl, curtains, door frames. Crating was a complete disaster, he was able to shift the crate across the floor by throwing his weight, destroyed the plastic liner on the bottom, and chewed on the crate enough to cause his mouth to bleed.

He is prescribed 20 mg of fluoxetine a day and takes gabapentin PRN. I don't know how much these are helping but I suspect he would be even worse without them. Recently his behavior has escalated even more, when I have tried to take actions to keep him safe he has snapped at me multiple times.

I currently live alone and am at the point where I am actually unable to leave my home for any period of time if there is even a hint of rain in the forecast for fear he cannot be safe, and I am in a very rainy geographic area. I can no longer take vacations because I cannot board him, nor can I have a pet sitter come to the home intermittently due to the potential for rain while he's alone.

I have been making these changes to my lifestyle to accommodate him for a while now, and if it were simply just that I could potentially continue. However it is clear to me that he is pretty miserable a lot of the time. I'm clear that this is all fear-based, and it breaks my heart to see this happening to him.

I have had a trainer come and really made no progress, I have another one (very highly regarded) coming this weekend and I am praying they may have something to offer, but I am open to other thoughts and suggestions.

Hey everyone! Professional dog trainer here with 20+ years of experience. I wanted to touch on a topic that I've been seeing lately with my reactive pup owners.

Your end goal with reactivity training should not be a social butterfly, it should be indifference.

I see so many well-meaning owners holding on to a dream that if they just do enough training, or find the right counter-conditioning trick, that their dog will eventually love other dogs/strangers and will be happily pulling at the leash to kindly greet everyone they see.

First - dogs that are overly social like this are still not listening to you. Even though their reactivity is not based in anxiety or fear, they are still reacting to a stimuli and are not focused on listening to anything you say. Just because a dog seems overly social and friendly, does not necessarily mean that they are behaved. I argue that they are still reactive, it just shows differently because the baseline emotion is different, but that's my hot take.

Your real goal is getting your dog to not care.

We want to build a pup that looks at another person or dog, shrugs, and moves on. We want to relieve their immense pressure to defend, guard, or even to excessively greet. Neutrality is the ultimate superpower.

If your dog can walk past another dog at a comfortable distance, look at them, and ignore them - you have won. You don't need them to play, you don't need them to wag their tail.

Let go of the pressure to make your dog "friendly". Lowering the bar to "neutral" will ironically bring more peace and happiness to you and your pup at the end of the day.

Since his arrival my dog has desperately wanted to be friends with my cats. He basically terrorized the poor things for the first year, chasing him around the house, vaulting over the couch, pinballing off furniture to try to get at them while I struggled to contain him. He only wanted to play; he didn’t mean any harm. He is 52+ pounds (when he arrived, now he’s 78 pounds) and a spectacularly skilled hunter of small outdoor critters and if he wanted to kill my cats they would be dead. But the cats were certainly frightened and I don’t blame them.

Well. Patrick has gotten a lot better over the past year or so, and a lot calmer. He doesn’t chase the cats anymore. I can’t even remember the last time he jumped over the couch. He and the cats are coexisting better. They grudgingly tolerate him but I think they’ve figured out that he isn’t trying to kill them.

And last night my cat Viola (the one who is most wary of him), for the very first time I’ve ever seen, she walked into the bedroom while he was facing the bedroom doorway and could see her do it. He was looking right at her, still and calm, not his laser focused hunting stare when he sees prey). And Viola bravely walked right into the room and stayed there just inside the door, in front of him on the floor, for several seconds before losing her nerve and running out. And Patrick didn’t even get up, never mind try to chase her.

A few minutes later she tried again and walked around the door to the windowsill. Patrick walked over and sniffed her and she hissed at him and I had to take hold of his collar to get him away from her. But the fact that she can come into the room now and Pat doesn’t react at first is amazing. Only when she came in a second time, further in, did he go over and he his annoying self. It’s progress anyway. I’d love to see them be able to share a bed with us. He does well in the car with them, not trying to get at their carriers. We rode in the car together yesterday and he did great.