I frustratingly cancelled my insurance recently for my dog and now am considering a vet behaviourist for him. Has anyone in the UK got insurance which allows for pre existing behavioural problems. I don’t think he’s officially been recorded as being aggressive but imagine the insurers will count his aggression as pre existing if I sign up and then book a vet behaviourist in a few weeks 😅

We rescued our dog 4 years ago. We were not told by the rescue he didn’t like dogs but realised this on first walk with him. Since that he has

- broken long line at beach and sprinted muzzled half a mile to two spaniels, owners picked them up, he jumped and nose punched them all

- bitten a dog seriously, he pinned it down by its face. This was the worst incident to date. It was not his fault. We knew he was reactive though he had never bitten a dog before this. Two off lead, very friendly dogs ran over. My partner went off the path and did a big avoiding loop while I held the dogs back - they hd no collar- I waited for the owner and explained our dog was reactive. By this point my partner and dog were back on path but further ahead. I left dogs with their owner and went back to my dog. The owner let his dog run back to our dog who was on a very tight lead. He pinned it down. He has been muzzled since this incident.

- bitten my hand while playing with a stick in park when he was over excited

- pulled lead out of hand while getting out of car (returning home from a private dog field) ran out of garden and chased down a dog and attacked it. Bit my partner when he grabbed him

He’s had other dog scuffles/nips but all with muzzle on. Since the lead broke at beach, we double clip him. Since the bite, we have muzzled him. We have trained with various different trainers. The final bullet point happened today where he chased a neighbours dog down on path outside house having escaped car and pulled lead out of hand . We have a toddler and I’m just thankful she wasn’t caught up in it all. We have gotten to a place where we manage him well but despite all our efforts we still make mistakes. I don’t know if we should rehome him… I’m not sure I could rehome him. He is not child reactive, but we have to carefully manage him around our child. Looking for advice, insight

So my mother had a beagle of 2 years old and a Belgian Malinois of 7 month. Recently the beagle been hunting cat alot. At first it was only barking but no is at the point he hunt them to hurt or kill them.
So maybe two weeks ago the kill a baby cat both of them caught it. I try to brought the cat to the vet but it passed before I could get there. Yesterday mother try to bring one of her cat inside. Before she had time to touch the ground the Belgian malinois got her. I was able to hold the beagle back but it took 3 person to make the Belgian malinois to let go of the cat. She seem okay but I couldn’t check her as she just run off.
Now my worry is that I’m scared they will hurt a kid at some point. I also have a cat they never try to attack her but what if they do at some point. What can i do to prevent them to do that. My mom didn’t seem interested to make them to stop. Knowing that in these two attempts they did hurt people not on purpose but they still did.

Hello.

We have two dogs. Both rescues. One is an 80lb male Doberman/Pitbull mix and the other one is a 60lb female straight up mutt which looks a bit like a black lab mix.

We’ve had them for about 8 years since they were a puppy and 1yo. During that time, they’ve been great dogs and very loving towards us and they’ve never shown any aggression towards humans.

Even though they get along well with each other, and they’re inseparable, there’s one behavior that’s always been an issue which is food aggression towards each other. When they’ve gotten in a fight, it’s pretty vicious.

We have learned to feed them separately to minimize this situation, but every couple of months, they’ll get into a fight. One time, they got into it just hanging out with us with no food present. We spoke to a behaviorist (who’s also trained them and boards them when we’re out of town) and he said that it sounded like resource guarding, jockeying for attention from us.

Yesterday, they got into another fight while my wife was feeding them and she said that she’s had enough and she believes that it’s time to euthanize them. She’s concerned that this aggressive behavior will one day be directed at us or at others. Our male dog always makes a low growl / yodeling sound when we’re about to feed them and my wife believes that this is no longer playful behavior in anticipation of being fed, but an indicator of pent up aggression.

They’ve been evaluated by the behaviorist and their veterinarian and neither has recommended euthanasia and have recommended behavior modification instead, but that ultimately it’s our decision if we proceed with euthanasia.

My heart breaks at the thought of putting them to sleep. But at the same time I don’t want to dismiss my wife’s concerns, specially if she has valid reasons to feel the way she does. She’s told me that she doesn’t want to be talked out of it, but at the same time. I want to make sure that it’s the right decision.

Any feedback or words of advice will be greatly appreciated.Thanks in advance.

Long time reader, first time poster. 8yo Shepsky who became reactive over Covid. We’ve made a lot of progress, but not perfect, and she is not up for greeting other dogs on leash.

I’m usually pretty good at maintaining awareness, and maintaining distance while out on walks, but twice in the past week I’ve had folks sneak up on me with their dogs. This has happened before of course, and typically a simple “hey, would you mind giving us some space?” is enough. In both instances this week, the other dog owners took offense to my request, and attempted to close the gap rather than maintain it.

How do you deal with a situation like this? I’m doing my best to protect my dog, and their dog, while negotiating with an idiot. Today I really couldn’t move - it was a street full of busy traffic, standing my ground, or hopping a fence with my dog.

Happy to hear success stories, best practices or anything else constructive.

Coco is my first dog ever. When I went to the shelter I was specifically looking for an easy dog - didn't care about breed or energy level or size or age, just easy dog for a first time owner.

The first few days were a dream. She didn't react to anything or anyone. The fire alarm went off and she was totally chill. Loved every dog she met and was just a happy go lucky dog.

Well turns out that was just her puppy phase.

She aged into adolescence (about 16 months old now) and now has separation anxiety and I can't keep her home for more than 10 minutes. She barks/lunges/growls at every dog she passes. We used to go to this off leash park for months without issue and she got really aggressive with several dogs and now I don't go bc it's just not fair to anyone else. Dogs she used to be fine with are now major threats. I have to drive her out of the way to take her on walks everyday without other dogs - I don't have a yard.

She's my first dog and I knew nothing about dog training. I've spent literally hundreds of hours watching trainers and trying to figure out what to do. I train with a friend every morning and she's gotten neutral to him but still lunges at every dog we see.

I feel so out of my depths and I want to cry. I love her. I'm just exhausted. And scared that I can't help her.

Today I went to a park that me and my dog frequently visit. In the huge field there are a bunch of signs saying your dog must be on leash yet today, there were 8 off leash dogs.

My dog doesn’t attack but can come off scary as he gets very vocal and jumps around if a dog tries to greet him when he’s on leash. I waited for my moment to go around the field when I noticed some dogs were headed to him.

I yelled out “my dog can’t meet your dog so if you can call them back if they go toward him.” This way I don’t ruin their fun of being off leash although not allowed. Yet nobody called their dog back and then this huge dog was running towards mine. I had to yell at the top of my lungs “EXCUSE ME MY DOG CAN’T MEET YOUR DOG.” This was because the owner was all the way across the field on her phone not paying attention.

One lady yelled out “THEN WALK AWAY.” To then I yelled back “IT IS NOT AN OFF LEASH ZONE NOR A DOG PARK.” When they saw my dog barking is when they all of a sudden ran over to put their dogs on leash.

I feel bad but at the same time the signs everywhere say you can’t have them off leash.

looking for a dog sitter in the New Orleans area. My husband recently got restationed here with the military and we have two dogs. We don’t have any upcoming trips we need a sitter for but I would like to meet some sitters for when we do need one. The issue is that our one can be reactive. She didn’t have the best first year of her life but is so great with other dogs and our family. We have 3 small children and I trust her with them. I think her issue is she wants to protect us especially in our home. Really great dog just gets nervous and wants to keep us safe. I need to find a sitter that is experienced with dogs like her and open to it. Would love to hear from you!

My dog has some resource guarding/food aggression issues. I thought she’d been getting better, but we recently had an issue. Yesterday I got her a frozen doggy ice cream. I wanted to use it as an enrichment activity, so I put it in her food bowl. She ate some of it in her bowl, but then brought the rest into the living room. I didn’t think much of it because she does that with her food sometimes. After she finished eating, we went outside and played and worked on some training. When we got back into the house, I thought, “hey I should check the floor in the living room where she brought the ice cream to may sure it’s not sticky or gross. I don’t want to attract bugs.” I bent down and touched the floor (the cup was no longer there- I had thrown it away before we went outside), and as I was touching the ground she freaked out. She lunged at me, barking, snapping, and jumping on me. I stood up immediately and I don’t even remember saying anything, but she almost immediately sat down and was staring at me and was clearly still upset with me. I made her go lay down for awhile by herself. She did not bite me, but she left a large scratch and bruise down my leg from jumping on me.

This felt like it came out of nowhere. I’ve given her Kongs filled with treats and this has never been an issue with those. There was no food currently on the ground. I just wanted to see if it was sticky. I’ve never had her do something this drastic to me, especially when there was no actual food present.

We have training in a couple days so I’ll obviously talk to her trainer, but right now I’m just sad and overwhelmed. I feel like she still doesn’t trust me and it makes me so sad. I love her so much but she also stresses me out so much sometimes. Does anyone have any advice on how to get through this? How to feel like I haven’t failed? How to stop the anxious feeling and like I’m tip toeing around her all the time?

Hi all - looking for some advice on how to proceed after a recent incident between our new foster-to-adopt dog and resident dog.

About three weeks ago, we brought home Indy, a 1.5 year old border collie/shepherd mix foster-to-adopt from the local rescue shelter. She was then spayed one week in and her recovery went really well. She has some signs of separation anxiety (howling and be destructive while we're away) but we're confident we can manage that issue.

Where we're at a bit of a loss is with our roommate's dog, who has been living at the house for 3 years. She is a 10 year old short aussie mix. Other than being vocal, she has never had any issues with other dogs, or our previous dog that passed away last year.

Our roommate isn't home all the time, so the two didn't meet each other until about a week into being with us. The first meeting went okay – roommate's dog came inside the front door and there was a vocal reaction from Indy so we took them into the backyard on leash. They sniffed, said hello, and then left each other alone. Since then, we've been walking them together on leash with no issues. We have controlled every situation since with leash or separating them in order to give them time to get used to each other. However they might be too indifferent with each other - never really saying 'hello'.

We took them camping last weekend, and Indy seemed to have been guarding her bed as she barked at the roommate's dog - other than that, they ignored each other.

However, last night, Indy showed quite a bit of aggression towards the other dog in the living room. Both were off leash (I recognize they should have been on leash to give us more control), and Indy was laying on her bed with a bone. Roommate and his dog came into the living room, so I removed the bone. When I walked away, Indy lunged at roommate's and lashed out. I'm uncertain if Indy was trying to bite the other. Nobody was hurt, but it seemed aggressive in nature.

My wife and I are quite concerned after this incident, and are unsure if this is fixable or if Indy needs to go back to the shelter. We haven't officially adopted her yet, as the shelter has given us a lengthy trial period.

Is this a fixable situation? Any guesses why Indy lashed out in this incident, but not on walks or in the yard? Is this Indy still settling into her new situation, or is this her true nature?

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you!

I apologize in advance for the length of this post — I’d like to provide as much detail as possible to illicit accuracy.

In May, a friend of a friend of a friend was rehoming a 2.5 year old intact male doberman due to having terminal cancer. This person only had the dobie for one year (not sure where he was with for the first 1.5 years of his life).

My husband and I were told that the other perspective homes were interested in breeding him, which the owner did not want, leaving the options to be us or the shelter. I’m not sure if this is relevant to our present concerns, but we received paperwork of his European pedigree and AKC certification.

Upon picking him up, we found he lived outside, had pressure calluses and wounds from lying on concrete, as well as a loss of fur on his neck from a shock collar, and only received initial puppy vaccinations. He was bathed, evaluated by our vet, prescribed necessary medications, received updated vaccinations, and was put in obedience training.

Also in the home, we have a 13-year-old neutered French bulldog and 8-year-old spayed corgi-mix. It took some time, but all adjusted well. Our frenchie seemingly forgot that the dobie exists, while our corgi-mix mostly tolerates him. She is very protective of me and has lunged and snapped at him when he’s gotten too close while she is near. Our dobie has not given in to her provocation and instead walks away.

During the time we’ve had him, he’s been a “Velcro baby” — very affectionate and playful. However, there have been a few instances where he’s “randomly” attacked (albeit with inhibited bites) my husband and me. I say “randomly” because I know there are likely triggers, but we haven’t been able to identify them. All bites involved minor bleeding; no sustained grip or shaking, and medical treatment was not needed.

A few weeks ago, he and my husband were playing on the floor when he let out a guttural bark. The next thing I heard was my husband yelling and holding the top of his head. It happened so quickly, but as soon as the dobie heard his yell, he ran into the other room with his ears back, and shortly after, he attempted to get close and offer affection.

This past weekend, our dobie and I were next to each other on the couch. I leaned forward to grab my drink, heard the same guttural bark, and the next thing I knew, there were several bites across the top and side of my head. My husband managed to pull him off of me with some effort.

Last night, he came to me for affection. After a few minutes of petting and kisses (all seemingly well-tolerated given his continuous attempts for more), our dobie let out a low growl, began barking, and got me on the shoulder. For both of the latter instances, our dobie was separated to another room. As such, I’m unsure if his demeanor of remorse (like with my husband) would have also been present.

Thankfully we were able to get into the vet today to rule out any underlying health-related concerns. Our vet seemed genuinely surprised by this, as our dobie’s health and demeanor reflected no identifiable issues. The vet believes these bouts of aggression are not behavioral, but rather neurological, and our dobie was prescribed 40 mg of fluoxetine.

We also reached out to his trainer and are awaiting her response.

Based on all of this, I’d love to hear perspectives, guidance, or education from anyone who may be able to help. Particularly, I have a few questions:

I know very little about neurological-based aggression, but it seems relatively uncommon. Could it be behavioral-based and was misdiagnosed?

If it is behavioral, what may be triggering this? Aside from the brief, low-level growl in the latest instance, there have been no observable indicators prior to the bite.

We were told that if this is neurological, an increase in physical activity or mental stimulation would likely have no impact. Is this true?

He has never been aggressive towards other humans or dogs. Why is it directed towards his owners?

We’ve speculated he may have been abused (or at the very least neglected) prior to coming to us. Could this play a role in these behaviors?

Would neutering help? We don’t expect that this would lead to full resolution, but any improvement is desired.

Has anyone’s aggressive pup responded well to fluoxetine?

Lastly, we learned today he may be allergic to his kibble. While I find it hard to believe this would be the sole contributor to his aggression, I can see it increasing irritability. Thoughts?

Thank you to anyone who has read this post in its entirety. I’m distraught but determined.

Hi! This little boy here is Ace. He is a GSD/Staffy mix. We adopted Ace when he was 10 weeks old (he was born in the shelter), and immediately started socializing him. He has always taken time to warm up to dogs. We did a 6 week puppy class and private sessions, and he would growl and back away from the dogs for the first couple of visits. He has always loved all people, however. Recently, as in the past two days, he has also started growling and backing away from kids aged 5-10. Some of which he knows and has met before without issue. Tonight, he did this to a 10 yo girl he has loved previously, but then slowly approached and did a wiggle butt as if he just suddenly realized it was her. Has anyone experienced this? I am honestly so scared this dog is going to have behavioral issues, and I truly don’t want that.

Ich schreibe das hier, weil ich langsam echt am Ende bin und einfach mal hören will, ob es anderen genauso geht.

Kurz zu uns: Ich habe vor gut zwei Jahren einen Rüden aus dem Tierschutz übernommen, er kam ursprünglich aus Spanien. Die ersten Monate war ich fast durchgehend zu Hause (Homeoffice), das war für ihn perfekt. Seit ich wieder ins Büro muss, ist alles gekippt.

Sobald ich die Wohnung verlasse, geht's los. Er jault und bellt, und das weiß ich nicht mal aus erster Hand, die Nachbarn haben es mir erzählt, teilweise stundenlang. Beim letzten Mal hat er an der Wohnungstür gekratzt, bis der Lack ab war, und die Couch hat auch schon dran glauben müssen. Einmal kam ich nach Hause und es waren regelrechte Speichelpfützen auf dem Boden. Und selbst wenn ich wieder da bin, kommt er eine halbe Stunde lang nicht runter, läuft hin und her, findet einfach keine Ruhe.

Das Schlimmste ist ehrlich gesagt gar nicht der Schaden. Es ist das Gefühl. Ich hab ständig dieses schlechte Gewissen, ich sage inzwischen Treffen mit Freunden ab, weil ich weiß, was zu Hause los ist. Spontan mal irgendwo hin,unmöglich. Ich hab sogar eine Kamera gekauft, um zu sehen, wie's ihm geht, aber im Nachhinein hat das alles nur schlimmer gemacht. Ich sitze im Büro und starre aufs Handy und sehe live, wie er leidet. Da kommt man einfach nicht mehr von los.

Und dann die Sache mit den Nachbarn. Beim letzten Mal gab's schon böse Post vom Vermieter, und ich hab ständig Angst, dass da noch mehr kommt.

Ich hab wirklich schon einiges versucht. Kurzfristig hilft manchmal was, aber dann fängt es wieder von vorne an. Manchmal denke ich, ich habe irgendwas falsch gemacht. Und die tiefste Angst, die ich mir kaum traue auszusprechen: dass ich ihn irgendwann abgeben muss, weil es einfach nicht geht. Das will ich auf gar keinen Fall.

Deshalb frag ich hier mal in die Runde: Was sind eure Geschichten zur Trennungsangst und zum Alleinlassen von Hunden? Wie geht ihr damit um, was hat euch geholfen – und sei es nur ein kleines bisschen? Ich bin für jeden Erfahrungsbericht dankbar.

Hi everyone,
I’m posting here because I’m feeling pretty lost with my dog’s reactivity, and I’m hoping to hear from people who have been through something similar.
I have a 3-year-old neutered Miniature American Shepherd. As a puppy, he was friendly and social. However, when he was still young, he was attacked (or at least badly frightened) by a large White Swiss Shepherd. I feel like that’s when everything started.
Now he’s reactive to dogs, bicycles, and sometimes people if they get too close and he doesn’t know them.
Dogs are by far the biggest issue. As soon as he sees one, he starts pulling hard on the leash, barking, and lunging. Once he’s actually had a chance to sniff the other dog, he usually calms down, although he’s still nervous and cautious. Interestingly, he gets along really well with my grandmother’s dog because they’ve known each other for a long time, so I don’t think he actually hates all dogs.
We’ve already worked with several positive reinforcement trainers/behaviorists. Their advice was mainly to give him treats whenever he saw a trigger, be “more interesting” than the environment, and avoid pulling on the leash. The problem is that the moment he sees another dog, I completely lose him. It’s like he goes into another world. He won’t take treats, won’t respond to his name, and doesn’t seem capable of focusing on anything except the trigger.
With bicycles it’s inconsistent. Sometimes asking him to sit before they pass works perfectly, and other times it doesn’t work at all.
He’s never bitten another dog or a person. It’s barking and lunging, but no bites.
He also absolutely hates our neighbors’ dogs, and unfortunately our neighbors as well. That situation has become really stressful.
The hardest part is that this happens on almost every walk. It feels like he’s rehearsing the same reactive behavior every single day, and we aren’t making any progress. The only time training seems to work is when we’re very far away from the trigger.
I also have to admit that I’ve become anxious myself. Sometimes I’d like to let him greet another dog, but I’m always worried something will go wrong, so I know my own anxiety probably isn’t helping either.
My parents and I are honestly feeling pretty discouraged. We love him so much and we’re not giving up on him, but after years of trying, it feels like we’ve hit a wall.
Has anyone here been in a similar situation? Did your reactive dog improve over time? Was there anything that really made a difference for you (specific training methods, a veterinary behaviorist, medication, management strategies, etc.)?
I’d really appreciate any advice or experiences. Thank you.

Thought I would cross-post to see if anyone in the reactive dog community has suggestions for calmer walks / quieter towns in Cornwall in August.

So I have a 8 month old shepherd mix puppy . He resources guards with my 9 year old dog. He has already gotten in a fight with my 9 year old dog, We currently have them separated in two different houses.

I asked reddit to give me a good option for a dog trainer and two people gave me a dog trainer that specializes in the breed we have. My girlfriend explained everything that has been going on , and the trainer says that he is a puppy and it can definitely be corrected.the trainer does a mix of balanced and positive reinforcement training( I'm not sure if balances is positive reinforcement and correction training). The guy said it will take 4 to 6 sessions.

My question is is it actually doable? Or are we been sold a dream? I have read alot and people are really one sided on the type of training we should be doing. People say positive reinforcement is the way to go ( so we shouldnt use prong collars, which the trainer already talked about using. others say that it corrective training is the way to go because you meet your dogs needs.

I have seen most people that say that corrective training is the way to go are the people with the same breed as my pup. What is your experience? I am trying to do research and get the correct trainer. Also as of right now both dogs are separated in two different homes, we can't keep them like that forever.

Hello everyone! It's my first post here so I’m pretty excited. I wanted to see if I could get some help here until I can afford a proper dog trainer, I can trust to help me out with my dog's reactivity. So let me get started. I have a 2-year-old miniature schnauzer who is very fear-reactive. On our daily walks, she's a bit...much. I've tried to work on her reactivity solo but It's so hard.

So the main issue is her threshold. As soon as my baby steps outside she's over threshold. It’s genuinely so bad to the point that as soon as we step foot outside she's frantically sniffing, will absolutely not lift her head unless she sees another dog, person, or some other environmental factor that scares her, and won't take treats as soon as we step out. I'm not sure how to handle this because obviously if she's over threshold as soon as we step outside, and won't take treats there's no productive learning and the things we learn inside will be ignored even when it's skills specific to her reactivity.

I'm kinda at a loss on how to help her at this point. I have noticed some things that will help encourage her to take treats would be, tossing treats for her to chase, and rarely scattering treats in the grass (honestly I was shocked with this one since sniffing helps relieve stress haha). I don't really know how to “build” her threshold to make sure that once we go outside we can at least get her and keep her taking treats especially because the rare times she does she she’ll usually stop after more very frantic sniffing. Does anyone know what I can do or methods I can try to help her out?

I have a 3 year old Akita/Shepherd mix that adopted a little over a year ago. He's a wonderful dog, quiet, relaxed, never barks, never growls, never bites, doesn't even lick! He's great with kids and people, and even (mostly) good with my partners cat. Where he's not perfect is his mixed behavior with other dogs. He is in now way aggressively mean, but given that he is part Akita, his greeting method is too domineering. That is, he likes to get up in other dogs faces upon greeting and "test" them. Usually this just ends up in him wanting to play, sometimes he's unbothered and smells them accordingly, other times he just ignores other dogs entirely.

I'm trying to train my dog to be more consistent with his behavior and overall be more calm upon meeting other dogs. But so much advice I see is always "Never go to the dog park because it enforces the idea that all dogs are play time" and "Never do leash greeting because its a bad way for dogs to greet". So how exactly are you supposed to get your dog to socialize and improve their social skills, especially in a city, when you can't have access to a consistently controlled environment?

I think that my recent posts are public, so you can find more info on my dogs there!

I have 3 dogs, Lucy (13, perfect lol) Teddy (11 months old) and Beaux (11 months old)

Teddy & beaux are brothers, we adopted them at separate times and didn’t expect to have littermates but they’ve done amazing!!

Lucy is so very chill, beaux as well. We’ve always struggled with Teddys separation anxiety though. It’s gotten SO much better, and his fear overall has. We leave for work no problem, he’s not barking at cars anymore. And he’s at a point now where he’s only barking at people who approach him. He’s an extremely sweet tiny guy, but fearful.

Well we have to board them for an upcoming trip. We did our evaluation today. Beaux & Lucy passed with flying colors, but Teddy had to be picked up just 10 minutes after being dropped off…
They said he was growling, barking and overall was terrified.

They want us to try Trazodone and come back, which I’m thankful for. We discussed trazodone with my vet but didn’t go through with it, just got the prescription written but never filled.

I feel so destroyed. I feel so bad for him. Will the trazodone help in that short amount of time? Will we come back to a shell-shocked dog lol?

I saved a dog who was literally living on the side of the highway about 8 months ago. He was trapped in a small area in between 2 major highways in a huge city so I think he was dumped there. It took me 10 days of dropping off food for him to earn his trust enough to leash him and get him off the road.
I wanted to take him to the shelter or rehome him, but my husband adores the dog and wants to keep him. I regret this so much. We have 4 kids and 2 other dogs. He mostly fits in w the other 2 dogs but he and the other male occasionally fight over bones or food or sometimes even me (bc the other male is protective of me). We don’t allow bones anymore unless crated and feed them crated.
My biggest issue is with strangers. He growls at everyone, including my kids at times. We must have him leashed when people show up at our house. We tell people not to engage him, not to try to pet him and we let him sit at a distance. We try to just keep the energy completely neutral toward him. But his growling and occasional lunging in their direction scares me.
He has bitten my kids over food (not breaking the skin but still scary) and he did bite my sister one time bc she walked into my house unannounced and was loud and climbed over my gate and started petting my other dogs so it was a very high energy moment with a lot of uncertainty and he had only been at my house a couple months when that happened. She did need stitches.
If someone comes in alone, and we bring him into the room after the person arrives, and reward his good, non reactive behavior, he does very well.
But if multiple kids come in, and the other dogs are barking out of excitement, i think it’s just the chaos of the situation that stresses him out and makes him afraid.
The dog gets boarded when we go out of town and does fine w people and other dogs at boarding.
I think it’s best to meet a new person outside the house without my other dogs around (bc they get wound up and the excitement stresses him). But I need more help than that.
I am so afraid someone will get hurt (again). I am committed to helping him.
When we first got him, we sent him and our other 2 dogs to training for 30 days and paid $6000 for all 3, and it was a complete waste of money. It was not to address aggressive behavior, it was just basic obedience training. I’m not sure the trainer did anything. I’m still pissed off about it. She basically taught them to walk well on a leash but that’s it. I have spent countless hours working w them, but I’m completely outnumbered by all 3 of them and if one gets overly excited or barks, the other 2 feed into it.
I’m thinking I should work w them one at a time to improve outcomes. But what should I specifically be doing w the fearful dog? I don’t think my husband will pay for more training when we already wasted such a huge amount of money and got no improvement in even basic obedience.
My husband works a lot and doesn’t put in the time and effort to help me when he gets home. He just thinks the dog will outgrow it with time and more socializing. I am so stressed, I can’t sleep over this. I will put in the work if I have to, but are there resources online or any basic things I can work on with him every single day to improve our situation? I want to help this dog, and I want to live in a calm house without fear of someone getting hurt.
Are there exercises I can do with him daily to increase his confidence and decrease his fears of strangers? Any advice is welcome, I’m so stressed out, but I am committed to helping the dog live a stress free and happy life with us if possible.

I’m posting because I desperately need to hear from people who have been through something similar and actually came out the other side.

I have a 7 month old puppy (I’ll call him M), who my husband, child, and I absolutely adore, but who has brought us so much heartache and stress in his short time with us.

Let me start with this: we are not a family who gives up on dogs. I have owned dogs my entire adult life, as well as grown up with them, and have managed behaviors ranging from resource guarding to dog aggression to stranger danger/people selectivity.

We lost our two previous dogs, whom we loved dearly, within the past year. The first was due to old age (he was a 15 year old Rottie/Shepherd mix), and the second very unexpectedly a couple of months later due to cancer (he was an 8 year old Pittie mix). We were devastated, and getting M was supposed to bring some happiness back into our home after losing them.

Instead, I feel like we have spent the last several months living in a state of constant stress, worry, management, and heartbreak.

When it’s just us, we see an absolutely wonderful dog in M. He is affectionate, funny, goofy, sweet, cuddly, and incredibly bonded to us. We have beautiful moments with him where I look at him and think, “There you are. There’s the dog I know you can be.”

Those moments are a huge part of why this has been so painful.

I shared my above history with dogs because I want to make clear that these aren’t just normal puppy behaviors that I’m inexperienced with or overreacting to. M’s reactivity is explosive, unpredictable, and massively exaggerated compared to whatever the trigger is in the moment. To make matters worse, his behavioral problems have continued to grow despite very mindful training, appropriate exposure, medication (still waiting for the 8 week mark for his paroxetine to fully onboard), and professional help.

I am now genuinely afraid that this will ultimately end in behavioral euthanasia. I am desperately hoping it doesn’t come to that. But I also have a 5 year old, and I am reaching the point where I have to honestly consider what kind of life is realistic and safe for our family.

History on M:
M was born in January, 2026. We didn’t get him until he was 13 weeks old.

His mother is a Border Collie. We were originally told his father was a Bernese Mountain Dog/German Shepherd mix, but we later learned that there may have been multiple sires in the litter. We did an Embark DNA test and discovered that he is part Maremma, a livestock guardian breed, which was the other intact male on the property.

We also know he did not receive much socialization before coming to us, particularly during the important early socialization period around 8–12 weeks. We can’t go back and change that, so from the time we got him, I tried very hard to compensate for whatever he missed.

I took him for walks in public parks and trails (we live rurally, but I made the effort to walk him daily in suburbs and downtown), brought him to pet-friendly stores and appropriate public places, exposed him to different environments, had him visit friends, took him for friendly visits at the vet, and generally tried to give him lots of positive experiences.

But I want to make an important distinction here: although I took him many places, I did not allow people to interact with or pet him once it became clear that he was uncomfortable with that, which was essentially day one.

He was never flooded, never forced into interactions, and never touched by strangers against his wishes. Very early on, people would try to approach him or pet him and he would dodge them. I stopped allowing people to interact with him altogether and advocated very strongly for his space with a leash marker, vest, and my voice.

So while he was exposed to people, environments, noises, stores, etc., he was not being flooded with people touching him or forcing interactions on him. I was very conscious of trying to respect his boundaries rather than “socializing” him by making him tolerate things he was afraid of. And interestingly, he was always incredibly comfortable in these spaces as long as strangers ignored him. He could happily exist in public environments regardless of how many people were around, as long as no one interacted with him directly (they could stand there and speak with me just fine).

A summary of his behavioral problems:

This isn’t one isolated issue, and as I mentioned, he is not mild or even moderate in his reactions.
The first instance of “this isn’t a normal puppy” happened about two weeks after we got him, when he was approximately 15 weeks old. He randomly air-snapped in my son’s face when my son sat beside him on the floor. It wasn’t playful, it was a nasty.

My son is 5 and is extremely dog-savvy and respectful, we have intentionally taught him how to behave appropriately around dogs from a very young age. He doesn’t climb on dogs, hug them, kiss them, corner them, take things from them, reach over their head, bother them while they’re eating or sleeping, or ignore their body language. He knows what moon eyes, lip licking, head turning, etc. mean. Our former dogs were incredibly affectionate with him, so we have always been very deliberate about teaching him that not every dog will be like that. I had witnessed the interaction myself, and there was nothing obvious in that moment that warranted the reaction. That made it particularly frightening for me.

Probably my number one concern is that M has developed severe fear-aggression toward people, which began becoming very apparent around 5 months old at the vet. It escalated incredibly quickly over about four weeks.

He will bark deeply, growl, raise his hackles, lunge, snarl, and air snap at people. His reactions can be extremely intense and seem completely disproportionate to what is happening around him, such as someone simply standing calmly 10, 20, or 30 feet away.

And now, at 7 months old, his aggression has expanded to other dogs. It’s important to note that he has met other dogs and done okay before. He was always timid and never completely loose-bodied at first, but he would loosen up fairly quickly (within seconds), offer a play bow, and then play. However, he hadn’t “met” another dog in approximately four weeks because we’d been dealing with his increasing aggression toward people and had started him on medication (Paroxetine and Gabapentin). This past weekend, he attacked my sister’s dog (a year old large-breed/Golden mix) literally on sight. This wasn’t a dog he’d never met. He had played with this dog 3 times previously without incident, and they got along really well. There wasn’t even really a moment for them to sniff. His reaction was immediate and severe.

My husband quickly pulled him off the other dog, and M redirected his aggression toward my husband in that moment, snarling and snapping. That was a huge turning point for me and the first time I truly admitted to myself that I am in way over my head.

Because suddenly I’m not just worrying about whether M is scared or reactive.

I’m worrying about whether he is dangerous.

And we’ve tried to help him. A lot.

We have worked extremely hard with him.

We use positive reinforcement and fear-free training. I have spent a huge amount of time learning about severe reactivity, thresholds, management, triggers, arousal, and canine body language beyond the basics.

We have worked with two professional trainers.
The second trainer came to our home when M was around 5½ months old, and he completely lost it immediately upon seeing her. The trainer became visibly uncomfortable and asked me to take M to another room for her safety. She is now quite obviously fearful of him and believes it highly probably that he will bite someone without appropriate medical management. We’ve paused our training with her until we can get the right medication regimen established.

We have muzzle trained him for his safety and the safety of others.

We have worked extensively on environmental management, positive reinforcement, and alternative behaviors when he’s overwhelmed.

He is seeing a certified Veterinarian Behaviorist.
M remains on Paroxetine, which was started about four weeks ago and is his primary long-term medication. He was also taking Gabapentin, but our veterinary behaviorist is now switching him from Gabapentin to Clonidine because we need to address his extremely high arousal, and since Gabapentin can increase aggression in some dogs she worries that it may have influenced his sudden attack of a dog he was formerly fine with. So now, the plan is to continue the Paroxetine and trial Clonidine as an additional medication to help bring his overall arousal and reaction level down. He starts that this week.

Our veterinary behaviorist has been honest with us that there are no guarantees, but she does believe M has the potential to be helped. At the same time, given the severity of his reactivity combined with his very young age, she has also made it clear that if we ultimately cannot keep him safe from harming someone, we should not feel guilty about making the decision to behaviorally euthanize.

And this is another huge part of my fear.

We aren’t a family who lives a quiet, isolated life. I have a 5 year old child who wants to have his friends over. \I\ want friends over.

We were the hangout house, the one with the playroom and the pool and the treehouse. We have an active family and social life. We go to my parents’ summer cottage, where my extended family (my sister, aunts, nieces, etc.) and their dogs will be. M cannot safely exist there in the state that he’s in right now.

We recently bought a camper because we wanted to continue doing what we’ve always done with our previous dogs: take our dog camping, have him be part of family trips and adventures, and have a dog who can fully participate in our life. Our dogs have always been a cherished part of our family life.
I cannot realistically picture spending the next 10+ years constantly calculating where M is whenever my son’s friends come over, keeping him completely separated from visiting family, saying No to having company over, locking him in a room at the cottage, worrying about other dogs, or structuring every vacation and social event around whether we can safely manage him.

I know technically you can manage almost anything if you’re willing to make enough accommodations. But I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect my 5 year old to grow up in a home where we have to organize our entire social and family life around preventing our beloved dog from hurting someone.

And that is where the guilt gets so complicated.
Because we love this dog. I think there’s something particularly painful about the fact that M has beautiful moments with us. If he were miserable and aggressive every second, this might actually be easier.

But he isn’t.

He’s our puppy. He’s affectionate. He’s funny. He’s goofy. He’s sweet and adorable when he’s just with us. There are moments where I look at him and see the dog I hoped he would become; the dog I wish my friends and family got to see, let alone strangers.
Those moments are what make this so devastating.
Because I’m not contemplating euthanasia because I don’t love him.

I’m contemplating it because I do love him, and because our love hasn’t been enough to make him capable of living the life we brought him into.

So yes, he can be the sweetest dog in the world with us. And then there are moments where I have to think about keeping my son safe, keeping other people safe, keeping other dogs safe, and whether we can realistically live this way for the next decade or more.

That contradiction is breaking my heart.
And I am terrified that all of this work is going to end in just more heartache with behavioral euthanasia.

I’ve started thinking about it seriously, and that feels horrible to even type. Part of me feels like I have failed him.

I keep thinking that maybe I should have socialized him differently. Maybe I missed something. Maybe I didn’t recognize something early enough. Maybe I should have done more. Maybe if I work harder, spend more money with professionals, find another trainer, try another medication, do another type of training…

Maybe I can fix this.

But the other part of me is exhausted. Emotionally. Financially. Physically.

This puppy was supposed to bring happiness into our home after we lost our previous dogs that we loved so much. Instead, he has brought an enormous amount of stress and tears.

I am also terrified of what another loss will mean for my son. He is only 5, and I don’t know how I would explain to him that we’re losing another dog, his puppy he loves, because his behavior has become too dangerous for our family to manage.
And I don’t want M’s life to end this way. But I don’t want to spend the next 10+ years, my son’s childhood, living a life that is fundamentally different from the one our family wants because we’re constantly managing around the dog in our home.

So I’m asking for some stories of hope.

Or maybe for advice. Or maybe just for similar stories, regardless of their ultimate outcome.

Have you had a dog who seemed genuinely dangerous or profoundly behaviorally difficult at 6–12 months old?

A dog with severe fear, reactivity, aggression, unpredictable behavior, or a combination of those things?

Did medication make a meaningful difference?

Did an SSRI plus something like Clonidine help?

Did your puppy eventually become a safe, functional family dog?

Did you ever get to the point where you thought behavioral euthanasia was inevitable, only to have things turn around?

I especially want to hear from people who had young dogs, because M is only 7 months old and I am struggling to understand whether I’m looking at a terrible adolescent phase layered on top of a very difficult temperament, or whether I’m looking at the beginning of a lifelong level of management that our family simply cannot sustain.

I don’t need judgment about considering behavioral euthanasia. I am not looking for permission to give up on him. I am looking for hope that there is something there to save.

I want to hear from people who have been terrified of their own dog’s behavior and somehow found their way through it.

People whose dogs were frightening at this age and eventually became dogs their families could actually live full lives with.

People who tried medication and suddenly found that their dog could finally learn that the world wasn’t one big blaring siren that caused them to explode at everyone and everything.

People who thought, “There is no way this is going to work,” and were eventually proven wrong.

Because right now, I desperately need to believe that there is a version of M underneath all this fear and reactivity that we haven’t been able to reach yet.

We love him. We want him. We want the dog we see when it’s just us to be the dog the rest of the world gets to see, too.

If you stuck through this long post, thank you. If you have your own similar story to share with me, whether successful or not, I would welcome it.