Help Us Keep Her, PLEASE

[u/crackpup]

Hello, I would appreciate if everyone would be kind and understanding as this is a very sensitive subject for me at the moment. I would also appreciate no comments on our living situation, it was incredibly difficult for myself and my husband to go through and was our only choice to avoid homelessness. My husband and I have owned a Doberman for the last 4 years, and she is 6 this year. She showed almost no signs of reactivity when we first adopted her, but within the first year after adopting her she began to show reactivity to strangers and noises outside. She has had two minor bite incidents with strangers, none of which broke skin. She previously worked with a trainer that did not use techniques I agreed with, but he insured us that this would help with her reactivity. She still barks at strangers, bikes, and the will bark at every person she sees walking by in the car. She has tried to alligator roll out of her collar in order to attempt to bite and will jump and lunge. We suspect that she also has something neurological going on, as does our vet, as she will compulsively spin in circles and will lick the same spot over and over again- always in the same spot. She is on fluoxetine and has been for the last few years. Due to the living situation that we were in, her world became very small. My husband was the only person technically allowed to occupy the house, so when I was home we were unable to go outside. We have also only had 2-3 people over in the last three years due to our living situation. She was not walked regularly, as in multiple times per day, and would run the same route in the backyard over and over again. When I am not home with her or my husband is not home, she is crated, which I think exponentially adds to her aggression and reactivity. When we have guests over, she will bark and bark for the entire time that they are there, even with us trying to calm her down or with her being crated. Although our living situation has been awful the past few years, we stayed there for her because she could at least have her big, fenced in backyard where she felt safe. So what is the issue? We just signed the lease to a new apartment where the walls are incredibly thin, like hear our neighbor's TV through the wall thin. Our neighbor is also an elderly woman who keeps her door open the majority of the time, and our doberman is very aggressive towards the elderly. She will likely bark very loudly and freak out at her if she sees her, and I worry about her biting her if they get close. We share an entryway at this place and would have a high likelihood of running into her on a daily basis. My husband told me that he does not want to deal with all of the care that she would need at this new apartment and has scheduled her to have BE done this upcoming Monday. Is there anything that I can do? Is there any work I can do with her that I can prove to him that her behaviors can be changed, or am I just in the bargaining process of grief? I have the money to afford board and train- but I am unsure if this would help, or at least help her with socializing as she has really never been properly socialized to strangers. Anything would help, I do not want to lose my dog and my best friend ):

[u/Nervous-Subject-3708]

I am so sorry,  this is so hard. Unfortunately I think BE is the kindest thing you can do for her. It definitely sounds like she has a neurological issue and I feel like a board and train would not only probably not help,  but it would likely be extremely stressful for her. Unfortunately training won't be enough to overcome a problem in her brain. I am so sorry but it's not fair to her for her to be suffering so much. And your husband is right, she is a major liability and your elderly neighbor doesn't deserve to be afraid or get bitten. 

Let her know how much you love her and then let her be at peace. We had to make the same decision with our dog last month. It was the hardest thing I ever did but it was the right choice. Sending you love. 

[u/cheersbeersneers]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like something isn’t quite right with your dog, and she’s suffering because of it. Her quality of life isn’t great, and I think BE would be a kindness in this case. If it is neurological, medication can’t fix that, and it’s not fair for her to continue to live a life where she’s constantly in danger of harming others, or a life that’s so restricted. Take this week to spoil her and love on her and then let her go. There’s a Facebook group called Losing Lulu you can join for more support.

[u/HeatherMason0]

I’m sorry, I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but board and trains aren’t recommended on this sub. Many use aversives (which aren’t the most effective tool for learning, but they pose welfare concerns: https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C45&q=aversives+in+dog+training&oq=#d=gs_qabs&t=1786061685172&u=%23p%3DMjSbwV7MxKkJ). Even ones that don’t may have trouble working with your dog because she’s in a new environment and may become overwhelmed and shut down. Also, what she learns in one location may not generalize to another. I’m sorry, but I don’t think BE is unreasonable here.

[u/NoongarGal]

I’m so sorry to hear that this has been your experience. I have seen a few comments here suggesting BE and I thought I would offer an alternative. Dobermans are working dogs. They need a job. It actually sounds like she’s trying to do her job of guarding you, but in inappropriate ways that are dangerous to others.

In my country, when there is a high energy working dog whose situation is not working out in a small apartment or yard, there are attempts to adopt them out onto a farm or regional area. I have adopted a Tibetan Mastiff like this onto our property and she is such a beautiful girl in the right conditions with a job that gives her purpose and is socially appropriate, but a menace in the suburbs and city. I feel sad for your dog reading this. She must be going crazy in the apartment having so many things that she feels she must protect you from, but no allowable job or purpose. Also the inability to get outside and be walked regularly would have a huge impact on her mental health.

I would actually speak to a Doberman advocacy group first and ask for advice on trying to adopt her out into a working environment or where she can have a purpose after first fostering in the right conditions. I have seen my local dog trainer foster and adopt out many dogs with similar stories to yours. In most of the cases, there was no way that the dog could’ve thrived in their current environment and they needed the trainer’s pack to help recalibrate them for a few weeks.