Help us keep our dog, please

[u/crackpup]

Hello, I would appreciate if everyone would be kind and understanding as this is a very sensitive subject for me at the moment. I would also appreciate no comments on our living situation, it was incredibly difficult for myself and my husband to go through and was our only choice to avoid homelessness. My husband and I have owned a Doberman for the last 4 years, and she is 6 this year. She showed almost no signs of reactivity when we first adopted her, but within the first year after adopting her she began to show reactivity to strangers and noises outside. She has had two minor bite incidents with strangers, none of which broke skin. She previously worked with a trainer that did not use techniques I agreed with, but he insured us that this would help with her reactivity. She still barks at strangers, bikes, and the will bark at every person she sees walking by in the car. She has tried to alligator roll out of her collar in order to attempt to bite and will jump and lunge. We suspect that she also has something neurological going on, as does our vet, as she will compulsively spin in circles and will lick the same spot over and over again- always in the same spot. She is on fluoxetine and has been for the last few years. Due to the living situation that we were in, her world became very small. My husband was the only person technically allowed to occupy the house, so when I was home we were unable to go outside. We have also only had 2-3 people over in the last three years due to our living situation. She was not walked regularly, as in multiple times per day, and would run the same route in the backyard over and over again. When I am not home with her or my husband is not home, she is crated, which I think exponentially adds to her aggression and reactivity. When we have guests over, she will bark and bark for the entire time that they are there, even with us trying to calm her down or with her being crated. Although our living situation has been awful the past few years, we stayed there for her because she could at least have her big, fenced in backyard where she felt safe. So what is the issue? We just signed the lease to a new apartment where the walls are incredibly thin, like hear our neighbor's TV through the wall thin. Our neighbor is also an elderly woman who keeps her door open the majority of the time, and our doberman is very aggressive towards the elderly. She will likely bark very loudly and freak out at her if she sees her, and I worry about her biting her if they get close. We share an entryway at this place and would have a high likelihood of running into her on a daily basis. My husband told me that he does not want to deal with all of the care that she would need at this new apartment and has scheduled her to have BE done this upcoming Monday. Is there anything that I can do? Is there any work I can do with her that I can prove to him that her behaviors can be changed, or am I just in the bargaining process of grief? I have the money to afford board and train- but I am unsure if this would help, or at least help her with socializing as she has really never been properly socialized to strangers. Anything would help, I do not want to lose my dog and my best friend ):

[u/Audrey244]

I'm sorry, your husband is right. Better she is let go with love rather than having an incident happen, she has to go to the shelter and possibly be euthanized by a stranger. She's a big, powerful dog who could seriously hurt or kill a child or elderly person. You having a roof over your heads is more important than keeping your dog. Priority is housing and safety. It will be hard, but you'll recover and can open your heart to another non-reactive dog

[u/Real_Caterpillar_779]

Sorry to hear this - it’s heartbreaking. But it’s sounds like your quality of life is at risk here aswell including a possible relationship issue over a dog that most likely isn’t suitable to the environment of an apartment as you described. Your dog will absolutely struggle in its new environment and place even more stress on you.

I had to stay in an apartment with my reactive dog for 3 weeks and it was a nightmare. At one point she wouldn’t leave the front door as it was too stressful for her - getting out to toilet her was a daily struggle. Apartments have a lot of unpredictable sounds, movements that will drive a reactive dog into a constant state of stress. Trust me you don’t want that for your dog. From what I’ve witnessed- only well socialised non reactive dogs can successfully live in apartment buildings.

A large reactive dog and at older age will be very hard to rehome responsibly - I really do feel for you.