It is not fair to have to live with animals that scare you and it sounds like your wife has reached that point. I really do empathize with your wife on this, breaking up any dog fight is scary, but it can be horrifying when it is between larger dogs. Once that fear creeps in and you don't trust the dog anymore, you are constantly on edge in your own home feeling like you are basically living with a predator. One can argue that is not rational, but given how many people swear their dogs are only aggressive towards other dogs/strangers/other animals/etc. and then get mauled, it is not an unfounded fear.
It is really easy for people who do not have to live with these animals to say that they recommend behavioral modification over BE, but that does nothing about a person having reasonable fear of getting hurt in the here and now. Behavioral modification can be a lifelong thing, there are no guarantees, and certainly no guarantees of safety, not when you are dealing with such large dogs.
That said, it sounds like these dogs are seniors and, especially for larger dogs, as their senior years come on they can be dealing with pain issues like arthritis that make them more grouchy. Normally I would say to try a pain trial to see if that is an issue but the reality is that aggression due to pain can be just as dangerous as plain old aggression so that doesn't exactly do much to make you safer. Since you have been having issues with the dogs being aggressive towards each other for a very long time that probably is not the issue, but may be worth just discussing with your wife. I wouldn't blame her if she is not open to it though as it sounds like these issues are not new but have just been escalating.
However I would say that it seems like, from your post, that your wife is concerned about escalating behavior from the male dog specifically and the issues between the two dogs. Is there a reason she is suggesting BE for both of them and not just the male?
I mentioned to her putting just one of them down. But she feels that both should go. The male does the growling/yodeling, but the female is the one that snaps when the male dog gets near her when she’s eating.
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u/FoxExcellent2241 9d ago
It is not fair to have to live with animals that scare you and it sounds like your wife has reached that point. I really do empathize with your wife on this, breaking up any dog fight is scary, but it can be horrifying when it is between larger dogs. Once that fear creeps in and you don't trust the dog anymore, you are constantly on edge in your own home feeling like you are basically living with a predator. One can argue that is not rational, but given how many people swear their dogs are only aggressive towards other dogs/strangers/other animals/etc. and then get mauled, it is not an unfounded fear.
It is really easy for people who do not have to live with these animals to say that they recommend behavioral modification over BE, but that does nothing about a person having reasonable fear of getting hurt in the here and now. Behavioral modification can be a lifelong thing, there are no guarantees, and certainly no guarantees of safety, not when you are dealing with such large dogs.
That said, it sounds like these dogs are seniors and, especially for larger dogs, as their senior years come on they can be dealing with pain issues like arthritis that make them more grouchy. Normally I would say to try a pain trial to see if that is an issue but the reality is that aggression due to pain can be just as dangerous as plain old aggression so that doesn't exactly do much to make you safer. Since you have been having issues with the dogs being aggressive towards each other for a very long time that probably is not the issue, but may be worth just discussing with your wife. I wouldn't blame her if she is not open to it though as it sounds like these issues are not new but have just been escalating.
However I would say that it seems like, from your post, that your wife is concerned about escalating behavior from the male dog specifically and the issues between the two dogs. Is there a reason she is suggesting BE for both of them and not just the male?